Harry and I were already in the worst of moods when we went to bed that night. We had both said stupid, hurtful, unforgivable things. Me attacking his relationship with Ivy when I knew he was so protective of her and Noah. Him picking apart my choice to get involved in a womens charity. I laid awake, thinking about how I wanted to wake him up and say I was sorry and hear him say it back. We were so stupid sometimes. So over-the-top.

Noah’s cries started to echo down the hall and I sighed, pushing the covers off. Harry was at the door before me.
“I was already awake.” He said, his voice gruff.

I stayed in my position on the side of the bed with my legs swung over. I toyed with the idea of going in there while he rocked Noah back to sleep and decided I had to. Tip-toeing down the corridor of Cal’s amazing home, I hoped he didn’t regret having a platonic married couple of youngsters and their infants stay.

“Is he okay?” I whispered, peeking over Harry’s shoulder and non-ashamedly using our baby boy as an excuse to press my chest against the comfort of Harry’s back. He nodded tiredly, pressing the small bottle onto his sons lips.
“Hair’s growing like crazy.” he suddenly observed, and he brushed away a light curl from his head. The sound of his voice and the way he looked down at the little person we created gave me a bit more purpose.
“Going to be curly like you.” I said softly, the smile on my face obvious on my voice. I watched as Noah’s big brown eyes started to droop just as quickly as he had opened them. This was really what it was all about. These moments made it all worth it. Of course Harry and I were going to fight. We were twenty-four with two kids. We were tired constantly and we took it out on each other. I felt sorry for Noah because for all of Harry’s short-comings during the time I was pregnant with Ivy, he and I had been on great form throughout her childhood. Scooping her up and laying beside her everyday, being completely off the scene for months. It seemed we had been a bit more sporadic around Noah.
“I’ll bring him in with us.” Harry said, and I wondered if he had read my thoughts, his tattooed arm cradling and rocking Noah softly. “I can’t sleep anyway."

I padded back to the bedroom and slipped into my side of the bed, preparing the middle for Noah. Thankfully we were in an absolute king, so he’d have plenty of room. When Harry walked back into the room and Noah was passed out, his cheek smushed into Harry’s shoulder, I couldn’t help but smile.

“Here.” I said, and Harry passed him into my arms. I propped myself up onto a pillow and brought him down onto my chest where he carried on sleeping soundly. Harry slipped in beside me and came closer than he had been laying before, onto his side, so he was looking up at both of us.
“Sor-“ I began.
“Sor-“ Harry tried.

I gave an amused smile.

“I am sorry. For what I said. I’m proud of you for going to talk about what happened.” Harry took Noah’s hand into his palm and watched him, still whispering without looking at me. “I just forget where we are sometimes. Of course you’d be annoyed at me staying here.”
“No, I’m too controlling, sometimes. I was hypocritical. And I attacked you being a Dad because I knew it would get to you.” I felt my cheeks redden in shame and Harry shifted.
“I targeted the whole charity thing because I knew it would get to you, to. God, we’re fucked up.” We both shared an amused, amicable smile.
“You can stay here a few more days. You never write music anymore and I know it makes you happy.”
“What about being in the house alone?” He cocked an eyebrow and moved the hand that was holding Noah’s to my shoulder.
“I don’t think I’ll go back to London, straight away. I’ll spend the few days in the house in Holmes Chapel. Noah hasn’t even been yet.”
“I love you, Annie. I am proud of you.” His dopey northern drawl was especially dragged out from his lack of sleep. The sweetness dripped from every word.

I don’t know why we didn’t need so much sleep that night, but we only shifted to do so for an hour or two. Both just needing each others company for as long as possible. Noah had been the catalyst to repair us for the fourteen hundredth time.

---

“Clumsy. All over your face.” I muttered to myself, bringing two wet wipes from my bag and swiping around Ivy’s banana lips.
“I hope you’re not getting that on any of my furniture, little lady.” Cal jibed, bustling past to make his morning coffee. “How long have you been up, Annie?”
“Since six. Noah usually gets up and stays up around then and it was my turn.” I rolled my eyes.
“Jesus. Twenty-four year olds out of bed before 12:00 PM. You’re an asset to the cause.”
“Young parent life.” I stated, and he laughed heartily.
“Where’s your baby daddy?” He asked, but before I could answer, he came into the room.
“Hiiiiii.” He beamed, pushing his sunglasses up onto his head and bending down to kiss Noah, Ivy, and I, before pretending to go for Cal, who looked more than shocked. “I’ve been golfing. Then I went for a run, and a hike.”
“You’re so L.A. Did you stop by Urth Cafe and take selfies on your way home?” Harry playfully punched his mentor and turned his attention back to me.
“What are you doing today, bug?”
“I’m meeting with Dot again. Just to go over what she’s going to publish.” I bit my lip. “Oooh.. are you busy? I kind of forgot to ask you to watch the kids.”
“Already booked them up to go to D-I-S-N-E-Y-L-A-N-D.” Harry spelled the words incase Ivy caught on and went into full blown hyperventilation.

I decided to take a stab at driving myself to the coffee shop I had suggested, and how I wished I hadn’t. Driving wasn’t a forte of mine which is why I always let Harry do it. He could drive anywhere in the world but I was out of my depths in a traffic jam in Hampstead. Add to the fact that I was supposed to be driving on the other side of the road, and it pushed me over the edge.

Anyway, I made it. Just in time to bustle inside and take my seat in front of Dot. We were talking absentmindedly for a while and I couldn’t help but feel relieved to have an outlet of someone else rather than Harry, who was too over protective to listen to me rant.

“So when do you head back to London?”
“I’m going back in a couple of days, actually. But Harry’s here for another three nights. He writes music now, and he’s teaming up with someone.” I circled my coffee mug, nearly empty, with my ring finger.
“Really? Ah. Oh, what a beautiful ring. Is it silver?” She took my hand and admired it. I wasn’t used to it. To be honest I usually forgot to wear it and that alone was enough to send Harry into rage.
“It’s white gold.” I said, smiling proudly. “Harry chose them.”
“Such good taste.” She admired, the smile never leaving her warm face.
“And when you go back to England, are you going to stay at your own place?” She took another sip of her coffee. I didn’t get what she meant at first. She watched for my reaction and when it didn’t come she spoke again. “You live in London, don’t you?”
“Oh! Yes. We live in London, but I don’t think I’m going straight back there."

It was another moment before she spoke again.

“Why not?”
“I don’t think I’m ready to be alone in London.” I shook my head thinking about the bustle of the place.
“So where will you go?” She continued, and for a split second I questioned why she wanted to know.
“Harry and I have a home in his home village. I’m from London so I rarely left it. It’s nice up there. Comforting.”
“I see. Bless you. The countryside is always more inviting.” She said, and took another sip of her coffee. “It will be nice to have his family stay, too.”
“No, it’s just going to be me and our children until Harry’s home. His mother lives a short drive away, though.”
“Oh, you’re going to be alone there, too?” She said, and I stopped in my tracks. It was the way she had asked the question. Said the word ‘alone’ that threw me off.
“Yeah. But like you said. It’s not half as intimidating to be there alone than it is in London."

Dot nodded, and when we both noticed our cups were empty, we split ways. I was excited to read her article, and made her promise to email it straight away. I looked down at my phone as I left the coffee shop, smiling when I saw three unread iMessages from Harry. One a picture of Ivy on a ride and Harry holding Noah beside her that Cal or whoever was with him must have taken.

ivy is just like you. she wasn’t scared of any of the rides .x
but i think noah is a styles. he definitely burst into tears when mickey mouse waved at him .x
sounds exactly like you. (remembering the time you got vertigo at machu pichu in peru and paul had to carry you down.)

I grinned to myself and shook my head, placing my phone into the holder beside me, focusing all of my energy into not driving on the wrong side of the road.

Notes

something smells fishyyyyyy... am i right? double updating woo x