Secrets / Black & White / Playing for Keeps

He was being gentle and that unnerved Lara. The kisses were still urgent and the nibbles on her neck caused her to moan out loud, but there was a difference in the way he made love to her. Instead of his usual rough thrusting, he took his time to grind into her slowly, whispering to her and asking if it felt okay. She looked up at him with wide innocent eyes, unable to take her eyes off his pink lips which existed only to entice her. She lifted her head to kiss them, and he cheekily kept his face out of reach until she whimpered for him to lower his lips onto hers. She watched in wonder as his green eyes closed, a loud moan escaping from his lips as he came undone. He rolled over next to her and disposed of the condom, before lying back on the sheets.

Lara impulsively reached over to ruffle Harry’s hair and he automatically raised his hand to stop her.

“Hey, watch the hair.” He said, taking her hand. She twisted it away before touching his hair again. He laughed as he grabbed her hands and pinned them down, playfully wrestling with her until he swooped down to kiss her hard on the mouth.

“Have you seen your hair in the morning? I’m just trying to fix it for you.” She said as she tickled his stomach in a bid to get away from him. She giggled as she looked at him as he lay naked next to her. He seemed so confident with himself, not caring what she thought about him as he absentmindedly scratched his stomach, that she couldn’t help but admire him.

“Have you been with many women?” Lara blurted.

“Where the fuck did that come from?” Harry asked keeping his tone light, a puzzled smile crossing his face. Lara hugged her pillow close, using it as a protective shield as she shrugged.

“I was just wondering.”

“How many do you think?” He asked his arms crossed.

“Lots?”

Harry laughed at that and turned over to lie on his stomach.

“Not as many as you think Lara.” He said with an air of finality.

“So you’re not going to say?” She persisted.

“I ain’t gonna give you a number if that’s what you’re asking for.” He said lazily. He paused for a moment. “I will say that you’re the youngest person I’ve slept with though.”

Lara’s eyes widened as she tried to hide her surprise.

“I didn’t have much experience with girls before all this happened... I mean I’ve had girlfriends, but nothing serious…” He explained. “So it was easier to be with women who were a little older … and knew what to do.”

“What about Louis?” She asked, still holding the pillow close.

“Louis’ different.” He said quietly. “I don’t even know how to explain it.”

“Try.” She said. “I really want to know.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say” He said. “We became really close really quickly and I liked him a lot. It was hard in the beginning… we didn’t know what we were doing and there was so much pressure on us to make the group work...” Harry looked up to see Lara watching him closely. He took a deep breath before continuing.

“We got wasted one night and I guess one thing led to another… it always happened when we were off our heads. But one night it just happened on its own…” He trailed off.

“What about Eleanor?” She asked.

“I don’t know if she knows... half the time she isn’t even around…” Harry said. “We stopped for about a year after he started seeing her… but then it happened again.”

“Were you using me to make him jealous?” Lara suddenly asked and he looked surprised.

“Sometimes. Like that time when we were in New York. I was pissed off at him about Eleanor and yeah… I guess I used you to get at him.”

“What’s changed now?” She asked an edge to her voice.

Harry suddenly grabbed her wrist tightly in a bid to pull her closer. He opened his mouth to say something to her but was interrupted by the sound of his phone beeping. He instantly loosened his grip to grab it from the bedside table, leaving Lara to rub her wrist, a frown on her face.

“That hurt.” She murmured but he didn’t seem to hear. Harry stood up and pulled on a pair of faded black jeans before searching his room for a shirt.

“Where are you going?” She asked.

“Out.” He said simply.

“Is it Louis?” She asked and she watched him sigh with a shake of his head.

“Does it really matter?” He asked before he left.

Lara felt her eyes sting as tears threatened to fall. Why was it that every time her life seemed
to be on an even keel, there was an unseen bump just waiting to trip her up?

She noticed a little flashing light from the corner of her eye and saw her own mobile phone.
She toyed with it for a moment before glancing down. Six missed calls. The name Ben stood out prominently. She clicked into her message box to see a text from yesterday.

Please call me… how are you doing? I’m sorry for what happened. Hope you’re okay

Without thinking she dialled his number.

“Lara.” He answered after one ring, sounding a little out of breath.

“Hi Ben.” She said.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I see you?”

Lara paused for a moment.

“Okay.”
************************************************
Lara walked into the café and saw Ben waving her over. She smiled uncertainly as she made her way over to the booth.

“Hi Lara.” He said warmly, leaning forward to kiss her cheek briefly. She noticed that it must be one of his good days as he was well dressed, his eyes clear and bright. She sat down opposite him and they regarded each other for a moment before they both opened their mouths to speak.

“You first.” Ben laughed.

“No you first.” Lara said.

“I was just going to ask if you’re still angry with me.”

“I think I’m over it. Not sure if Harry is though.”

“You told him the truth?”

“I had to… he thought you were my Uncle.” Lara pointed out the obvious.

“Hmm... I’m surprised he hasn’t told Julian.” Ben said looking grim.

“I told him not to. And he won’t.”

“I’m still surprised. He looks up to Julian and does whatever he bloody says.”

Lara had never gotten that impression from Harry, but she let that comment slide. At that moment the waitress approached the table to serve their drinks.

“I took the liberty of ordering…” Ben said as Lara eyed the wine and shook her head.

“Typical Ben.” She said and he smiled at her sheepishly.

“So where’s Harry?”

“I don’t know.” Lara said and could tell that he instantly picked up on her sad tone.

“How are things going?” He quickly asked, trying not to look too interested as he glanced at the menu.

“I thought things were going well.” She said, sipping her wine. “But I don’t know. This whole Louis thing is doing my head in.”

“Louis?” Ben repeated.

Ben was the last person she wanted to complain to… the problem is that she didn’t have anyone else to speak to.

“Yeah… sometimes I wonder how much of the relationship is about me and how much it’s about him.”

“Why Louis?”

Lara regarded Ben’s blank expression for a moment.

“Harry and Louis.” She said slowly. The reason why I was hired, she almost added, but something made her stop.

“What about them? What are you talking about? Is there something I should know?”

“Aren’t they fighting or something?” Lara said vaguely trying to backtrack, hoping that she hadn’t revealed too much.

“Not that I know of.” Ben looked confused as the waitress returned to take their lunch order.

“Can we have a few more minutes please?”

“You know how close they are.” Lara said and Ben nodded. “Harry’s just been a bit upset about it, that’s all.”

Ben rolled his eyes.

“I’m sure they’ll figure it out.” He said, returning to his menu. “Now let’s order because I’m starving.”

They were halfway through their meal when Ben dropped the bombshell.

“You know that the contract is almost up.”

“You mean in three months…”

“The break up cycle will be happening in a month.” His voice sounded almost clinical and he looked at her closely to gauge her reaction. “I just thought I’d let you know before Julian speaks to you about it.”

“Break up cycle?” She repeated dazed.

“Harry’s going to have to break up with you.” He said as if he were pointing out the obvious.

“This wasn’t meant to last forever, Lara.”

Notes

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