I won't change. Because I can't.

Louis' POV

Sweat drips from my forehead as we all run off stage after our final performance of the day, adrenaline is rushing through me per-usual. That feeling you get after being on stage is just incredible, the fans are incredible, my band mates are incredible. Everyone is fricken incredible!
The show went pretty well as normal, apart from I noticed Harry was a little distant from the rest of the band and stayed quiet. I'll have to talk to him later.

Paul walks up to us and gives us the usual thumbs up when ever we have done good, Niall slings his arm around my shoulders and I whip mine around Harry's, but he flinches away and walks off.
Me and Niall exchange confused glances before shrugging and hugging the other guys.

"That was sick!" I exclaim high fifing Zayn.

"I know right the crowd was crazy!" Liam says wiping his brow and bringing his arm around my shoulders, I scrunch my noes at how bad he always smells after a show.

"Liam, you need a wash, as always you stink" I say and he chuckles before removing his arm.
We start walking down the hallway towards our dressing room, Lou appears coming out the door with a frown.

"Hey Lou, what's wrong?" Liam asks, she sighs and points to the door.

"Why don't you ask Mr Styles, what the fuck is wrong with him?!" She replies with a furious rage that we barley ever see. I furrow my eyebrows and bite my lip, why is he acting so strange?

"We'll talk to him" Niall says.

"You better because other wise he will have to do his own hair" Lou huffs before storming off, woah he must have been a real ass to her.
We share confuzzled looks before walking into the dressing room.

Harry is sat on the sofa on his phone with an intense look on his face, for some reason all the boys push me forward to speak. Probably because me and Harry are the closest out of the band, typical.
I anxiously walk towards the sofa and plunk down next to him and take a glance at his phone, his eyes are narrowed at yesterdays photos of me and Eleanor on our day out. The one photo in specific is the one where I'm pecking her lips. Why is he looking at those?

"Uh Harreh, we want to know why your a little... different today?" I ask resting my arm around the top of the sofa. He scoffs before glaring at me with dark eyes, those beautiful green eyes that he usually has, have now turned to deep green. In fact they are barley even green at all.

"Am I not allowed to have some quiet time?" He sneers and I am genuinely feeling intimidated by how he's looking at me right now.

"We didn't say that but, your just not acting yourself" I reply twiddling my thumbs, I look to the other boys for help but Zayn's on the phone with Perrie probably, Liam is getting changed and Niall of course is eating. Assholes.

"How do you want me to act then Lou, huh? Because I'm obviously not allowed to act naturally, you just expect me to be happy and cheerful all the time. Well news flash my friend, I'm not a fucking robot that follows simple feelings all the time, now piss off!" He snaps and takes another glance at his phone to the pictures of me and El, before throwing it across the room and storming out.
I stay sat afraid to move after his outburst, I care for Harry and after what he just said I feel a pain in my sole.
Liam slowly comes over and pats my shoulder.

"You alright mate?" He asks.

"N-no, I uh, want to go home" I reply in a stutter, he gives me a little hug and sighs.

"Me too Lou, but we can't until the tour finishes. Lets just go back to the hotel and sleep" He suggests, I shudder at that suggestion because me and Harry share the same room and the same bed. Don't ask, there was a mix up with the rooms but because me and Harry are such close friends we didn't care if we shared the bed, as long as there was no cuddling.
Although even that rule was broke when I wake up either on Harry's chest or he's on mine.

"Fine" I barley say, he nods before looking to Zayn and Niall who are both ready to go.

We walk out into the crowd of fans, making our way to the car. I keep my head down not wanting to let the fans see me upset. To them I'm the happy joker, the one who is funny yet can be serious, but I'm never the emotional one. At least that's what they think, I'm really an emotional guy behind closed doors.
We pile into the car, Niall and Zayn crushing me to the seat.

"Guys, move" I croak whilst laughing, they chuckle before getting off me. I notice my head is laid on something plump and soft, I look up and see I'm led on Harry's lap. He doesn't show any emotion and just stares out the window, okayyy...
I remove my head and buckle in next to him, my usual place is always next to Harry.
Niall and Zayn sit opposite us while Liam sits at the front.

"Yo Haz that note you did on Over Again was pretty good" Zayn comments, Harry sends a grateful nod before staring back out the window. I roll my eyes and slump back in the chair with my arms crossed. He is pissing me off now.

"Ha Lou remember when that girl threw that thong and you caught it with your foot?" Niall asks chuckling, a smile creeps on my face and I nod proudly.
"What did you do with it?" He wonders.

"It still had a tag on so I gave it to El" I reply, Harry snorts and swifts his arm that was touching mine away. Was that it, was he mad about El for some reason?

"Nice" Zayn says and fist bumps me, I giggle and lean my head back. Closing my eyes and waiting for us to arrive at the hotel.
"Have you been able to see it on her?" Zayn asks and I shoot my eyes open before kicking Zayn's shin.

"That is classified, Tommo secrets" I reply tapping my noes, Niall chuckles and leans on Zayn's shoulder, closing his eyes. Zayn rests his head on top of Niall's and I feel jealous that me and Harry usually do that.
I sigh and glance at my screw tattoo on my ankle, it was mine and Harry's idea to get those for the whole band, apart from Niall who doesn't have any tattoos. We are working on that.

Suddenly something tickles my cheek and I see Harry's head resting on my shoulder, I smile and wrap an arm around him. I can understand why people have the rumors about us by the way we act, but this band is just very close and there's no law saying you can't hug another boy.

"We have arrived lads, aw don't you all look cute" Liam calls, eyeing up the scene of Zayn and Niall and me with Harry. Zayn gently nudges Niall awake before they both get out.
I poke Harry's cheek to wake him up and he smiles before looking at me with his usual green eyes.
His smile warms me up, it's such a knowing smile that it makes you feel special and when he smiles at me I always feel a flame in my heart.

------


We stand outside our room doors, Niall and Zayn sharing one, me and Harry sharing and Liam insisted on having his own.

"Night fella's" I say rubbing my eyes, Harry's arm snakes around my waist causing me to jump a little at the unfamiliar touch.

"Night, yeah bye" Niall yawns and rushes into the room, a thud heard then indicates him jumping on the bed. Zayn chuckles before patting me on the back.

"Night Lou, Haz. And night Liam" He says and walks into his room. Liam gives us the thumbs up.

"See you in the morning, bright and early" He then winks at us and I feel myself turning red. Liam has always had these suspicions about me and Harry, but I love him either way, it's still weird how he thinks that though.
Harry looks down to me and smirks.

"Shall we?" He asks gesturing to the room, for some reason I feel as though he's requesting more than sleep but I then shake it off thinking how stupid that sounds.

"We shall" I reply and skip in.

I strip to my boxers and slide into my side of the bed.
A dip in the mattress indicates Harry's presence, I smile and turn to face him. His breath on my face.

"So uh, I don't want to ruin your good mood but why were you moody earlier?" I ask bracing myself for an outburst.

"Lets not talk about that, lets talk about you, tell me about yourself?" He replies.

"Harreh you already know everything about me" I whine with a chuckle.

"Then tell me about you and El, are you happy with her?" My eyes widen at his question, he's never asked me that before.

"Uh, yeah I am happy" I reply. He shuffles closer to me so that our noses are literally touching.

"But are you truthfully happy? Do you feel like you could tell her everything, spend the rest of your life with her and propose to her?" I am left speechless, I know I should say yes but for some reason I'm hesitating.

"Harry I-" My phone then buzzes, reaching over I see it's El.

'Hey babe' I say, Harry groans before turning the other way from me.

'Hey Lou, how was the show?' she asks. Uh same question every night, why can't she ask how the lads are or if I'm alright?
Wait, what am I saying?

'Twas okay, the lads are good too' I add.

'Okayy, didn't really need to know about the others but anywayss. I have a surpise for you when you get home'

'Oh really? If it's a threesome I'm so not interested' I reply and Harry turns and smirks at me chuckling.

'No Lou, gosh you have been hanging around Harry way too much' She huffs and I furrow my eyebrows.

'Why do you say it as such a bad thing? Of course I spend alot of time with Harry, he's my best friend and I share a bed with him' I question, Harry fully turns round and leans on his elbow with raised eyebrows.

'Exactly for god sake Lou you share a bed with him, no wonder you are always called gay. To be honest I always worry about him trying something on you and-'

'Look El I trust Harry more than anyone else and this isn't the first time you have been skeptical about him' I interrupt. Harry bites his lip and I give a small smile to him.

'Because he's gay, it's so obvious that he is that people think he's not. Just share with someone like Liam who has a girlfriend' I feel my body fuming at her words, she can't judge a person by their sexuality, I mean Harry has always been undecided about his sexuality but that hasn't changed our friendship.

'Fuck off El, you can't change our friendship so don't you ever bad mouth about my best friend again!" I yell into the phone and hang up, throwing the phone on the floor.
I give off a loud groan of frustration and for some reason that argument has made me really horny.
UGH I hate it when that happens, I just want to kiss the closest person and that right now is Harry and I don't want to do that, and freak him out.

His arms slip round my waist and pulls me chest to chest with him, okay this is not helping.

"Thank you for sticking up for me Lou" He whispers, oh i'd stick up for you anytime *wink*.
Wait what the fuck?!

"Uh, no problem pal" I breathe, shit I just called him pal argh! He chuckles and glazes his stare with mine. Oh god, curse you hormones!

"I don't know what I'd do without you in my life Lou, how ever did I manage before?" Harry asks and I caress his cheek, wait why am I doing that?

"I think the same thing" I whisper, his knee swifts past my member causing me to moan. I cover my mouth with my hands in shock and embarrassment. Did I just fucking moan from my friends contact?!

"You alright?" He asks. I feel myself getting aroused by his voice every minute, he needs to shut up.
"Lou, your scaring me" Yet again he speaks, fuck seriously Harry shut up. I breathe in and out but it does not help at all.
"Boo, what's wrong?" I feel his hand on my shoulder and when he calls me Boo.

I loose it and cup the back of his neck and slam his lips to mine, hungrily begging for his touch.
Surprisingly he kisses back almost instantly, gripping my hair and lightly tugging releasing a moan from my lips.
I then notice what I'm doing and pull back, we stare at each other for about a minute in silence, did we just do that?!
I clear my throat before getting out of the covers.

"I'm going to stay in Liam's room" I mumble, grabbing my phone and walking out.
What got into me?! And why did Harry kiss back?!

Notes