Harrys POV


"Why aren't you dressed Louis?" This is so weird. He's standing at the end of the bed with his lace panties and stockings till his upper thighs. He looks so flushed and bright and glowing all over.


"You tell me?" He puts his hands on the bed and crawls up. What the fuck? "Won't you?"


I gulp down. "You should get dressed Louis" I tell him but he's crawling up and he's wearing, what heels? What am I thinking? It's 2 in the morning by the clock. Is this even real?


"I had to steal these heels from gems, you don't wanna ruin my hard work." His hair falls upon his forehead. So soft. I've never seem him heavy breathing like that. He looks so pretty. Only if I could go touch his skin.



"You're gonna be cold Louis" he is almost at the end of my legs. I hate my long legs now. I wish they would've been shorter. I would've been shorter.


"Make me feel warm? Won't you?" I sits there. I don't want my eyes to drift down there. Where my legs end and where I don't know, the tent is?
He's on his fours again. He places his hand on my knee. "C'mon don't be afraid its me. I'm not gonna do you any harm. Believe me. You trust me for sure, I know that" his hands move up. His fingers lightly brush on my sweat pants and then he squeezes. Oh shit. He squeezes my inner thigh pulling them away to make space. I don't know why I'm not stopping him.


Maybe it feels good? Maybe I know he's not gonna do me harm? Maybe I trust him more than I should? Maybe he's gonna make me feel in some sort of way? Maybe he'll just do something I want him to do? Maybe I'm just too scared to say it out loud? Maybe he'll just do the things I've been imagining him doing to me all night long? It's just a maybe because I don't know what he'll do. Maybe I know the answers to all my 'maybe's' but I'm too scared to say things out loud.


His hands are on my chest but his eyes are travelling down. Down to where the feels make it twitch. His hands are traveling down. I've never feel the gut stay and bob in my throat like that. But its there, as the guy with the long eyelashes is sliding arching his back, down. He looks up once his fingers tug at the wrong place but at the right place.


My hands, shaking, travel to his upper arms.
"Hold him!" He says out loud and my head turns sideways and familair faces. Faces I've seen all my life flashing in front of me and I'd do anything to not see them again are here, in my room.


"What the fuck!!" I pull my legs up. Fuck. Why are they here. Oh fuck no!


"Hold him!!" He shouts again crawling up.


"Why would he..." I turn my head and what the hell. It's not Louis ."...Nick!" I kick him getting back but he pulls my legs and the guys they're pulling my hands.


"What the--" shit. SHIT!

i jolt awake, almost breathless.I wipe the sweat off my face catching my breath. I slide back in my chair. Shit! I don't know when I felt this way. But the way my chest is rising so fast, up and down...fuck! I need my pump. I scramble through the first drawer failing to find it, almost out of breath. My hands so shaky I pull out the second drawer and its there looking at me with all its glory.


My trembling hands grab it shaking it vigorously placing it before my mouth. HOLY SHIT!


I bang it on the table in front of me and it jumps and falls off to the floor near the door. I pull at my hair. I'm still sweating. I pull out tissue but I'm so shaky, the box is stuck with tissue and its not letting the tissue out of it.


There's a knock on the door and person opens it to enter in.


"Hi there?" The same old, "were you wanking yourself off?" He enters in. The same old prick. He's made my life worse than hell, far more worse than hell if that kind of a place even exists. I'm sure it exists because he's made me worse and I know I'm there, in that place right now. He's there the fucking satan.


I hang my head low, shaking, still recovering. That shameless, disgusting piece of a stinking pumpkin. Fuck him. Freaking FUCK HIM!!
"well you've seen me now, you can go?" I show him the door.


"How's Louis doing?" My head snaps up. What?


"What the fuck has he to do with you?" I raise my eyebrow. The already present anguish inside me is rising with each second that's passing with him standing in front of me.


"Possessive pieces both of you" he smirks. "It's not gonna land you guys anywhere you know?" That little smirk. What is he even here. I wish I could be DEXTER for a minute and just kill him like literally make him vanish from this face off the earth and never see him. But dexter had his own rules he followed. I wish I had too.
"You both are gonna hate everybody else so much because of this and only because of the fact that you guys like each other. Little angels."


I don't know why I'm even talking to him anymore, "the number of people I hate has nothing to do with you Nick! Just leave!!"


"Finally!! Final-ly you said it. You said my name Harry. Oh how I wished you'd be screaming it every night. But the fucking fate fell upon us. But I bet, does Louis scream your name?" How can he even think about such stuff. It's pure evil. Saying anything in words for him that mean how exactly he his behaving right now I don't think even exist. Because he's crossed all limits. Every fucking limit that does not even has to do with me, he's crossed them stomped on them with his shoes happily fucking grinning at me every time he did it.


"I'm gonna have to call Simon if you don't leave" he's testing my patience. He's always fucking testing it. Keeping it right in front of me testing me with my past all the fucking time. I mean how much more can he fall on this face of earth.


"Wh-y why why? Why does Simon has to enter every time? We're not having some sort of a threesome here." He seems irritated.


I pick up the cradle of the phone to dial the extension to Simons office. "You've never listened to me anyways. I don't have a minute to spare for you now. You've wasted more than half of my life. Fucking hell you've wasted all my life. Since the day I saw you, its been all a waste. Every fucking moment." Simon picks up finally.
"I'm gonna call security and you know why" as if that Simon doesn't know Nick is here. He sure damn well knows. "I'm already late. I'll be leaving early today." I inform him before smashing the cradle on the table.


"Oh your boyfriends waiting, I totally forgot! What a fool I am" he speaks shit and I ignore him. I don't have the energy to tackle him. I'm gonna have it. I've never had the energy to tackle him.



"Don't ignore me now" I pick up my bag stuffing in my papers and the new song piece I wrote and my phone and the few songs I need to write down and complete them. I walk past my table.
"You guys can't seriously live without each other...he was in such a hurry too, he just wanted to run away to you, so eager, oh my god, you guys...such real cuteness" what the fucking hell?


I stop in my tracks. What the fuck is he saying.
"What were you doing with him?"


"So now you're listening. Well we just had a little chat. That's it. But he wasn't just ready to talk"


"You better stay away from him. This is my last warning Nick. And I mean it. Take it seriously or not I don't care but next time I don't want you anywhere near him. Take it as a note or a threat I don't fucking give a shit about it just stay the fuck away from my boyfriend"



"OK sir Harry Edward styles. But don't mind the touchy business talk we had yesterday. Or oops I shouldn't have told you that"


"What?" My brain is gonna burst. The anguish, I don't even know if it is anger anymore. I'm so confused in my head to what's happening. I don't know what to do.


"Shit man!" He's laughing at my face. "Your boyfriend lies to your fucking face all the time" he's laughing so bad it just triggers everything bad that's ever happened. "Oh it could even be like he's betraying you behind your back fucking somebody on your bed while you're wanking here alone!" He laughs into fits again. And that's when it happens. I punch him on the nose. Don't even care if he broke it because again I punch him on the jaw and there he's bashed against the wall and I step back. Breathing in clear air and pull my bag up on my shoulder and walk out of the room.


I can hear scoffing voices but all that's in the back of my head is that I need to inform the security to kick him out before I exit the building.


Louis' Pov
What's better than waiting for your boyfriend to return home from work so that you could go to your neighbor's house to apologize? Well I'm here lying on the couch with the duvet on top of me stuffing in popcorn while I watch my team score goals. Tomorrow is the day when I'm going for a job search.


And there the door goes. Clicks open and Harry enters in his head hanging low, he huffs and then shoves the bag on the couch in front of me and sits down and then looks at me.
"Are you still tired?" he asks.
I get up, "well Hi to you too. Nope. Fresh. Just had a shower. Getting ready" I smile but he's, frowning?


"Why didn't you tell me?" His eyes say something close to being hurt but don't want to be sure about that.


"What? That I had a shower? Huh you know now!" I laugh a little but he seems serious. He sighs. Tucking the strands of hair behind his ear and moving little at the edge of the couch.
"C'mon I tell you everything". I say.



" you sure about that?"


"Well yeah?!"


"What happened at the exhibition?" My throat goes dry and I don't even know what I should think or say because he knows it. I know Harry has noticed the change covering my face and frown that is knitting my eyebrows. I scoff just to take in a little breath so that I can speak.


"Exhibition? I don't know" I should've already stopped lying he knows it. And it's not that I'm deliberately lying to him for my own benefit. It's just I don't want the things to get worse for him. "I told you I was tired. Didn't I?"


"Oh stop lying Louis!" His voice raises a little and I'm not sure I should be seated here in front of him anymore.


"Well.." I guess I should ask him if he needs a glass of water.


"Goddamnit tell me Louis what happened. And no lies!" He stands up. I know he doesn't have a temper but he's a little angry over something. Fuck it, he's angry over me.



"It--" fuck I'm stammering.


"Are you scared of me?" He asks me in a low tone. What? No. Why would I be scared of him? His face says things I don't even know because that's too much to say right now. He thinks I'm scared of him when he's a butterfly in my own garden where im a flower and a flower is never scared of a butterfly.
"Then?" He covers his face with his left hand and the other rests in his hip. "Why?" He wipes of his face sitting down again releasing a strangles sigh. "Why didn't you tell me?" His eyes shine with his waterline starting to fill up.


"Well.. I do--" my hands are shaking so bad. Because he got to know when i had all the fucking chances to tell him by myself and he got to know from somebody else. Wait but there was only Nick and me. Did Nick tell him. Oh shit. Oh shit. OH SHIT!! I could've told him.


I know how much he hates me right now and its okay he can hate me all he want, but he thinks that I don't care what he thinks but I know why I didn't tell him. But it didn't help. It didn't help because all I wanted was to not send him into this kind of misery he is in right now. And I don't understand this thing. Nothing. I know he's hurt because i lied to him. But I don't know what this rift between him and Nick is that makes him hate Nick so much. I can see it on his face. It's right there. His face full with feelings of hatred and disgust and hurt and pain that I don't know if I should still tell him what happened in my own words.


"What didn't you tell me?" He's still waiting for my reply. "Nick touched you Louis and you didn't even think about telling me?! You think it is not a big deal?! It fucking is!! He did such a monstrous thing to you and you thought about not telling me? You should've told me right there. Right there when you saw me and I asked you becasue you looked so shocked and you didn't tell me. You lied to my face the million times I asked you after that. What part of it do you think is right or would be OK if you didn't tell me?" He breaths in. Looking at me for the last time before he squeezes his eyes shut to lay back on the couch.


"Is it that you don't trust me or is it that you think such kinds of things are normal if they happen and you let it happen?" He huffs. "Tell me don't sit their quietly" he hasn't opened his eyes yet.


"W-what should i tell you?" My throat is still dry but I gulp down the lump. "You're answering your questions yourself. What am I supposed to say?"


He sits up. "How could have you let him do this?" What? Is he crazy? It wasn't that I didn't stop him or shit. It's want that I was enjoying it. What is he even asking?


"Are you crazy?" I narrow my eyes.


"Then how in this fucking world did you let him touch you Louis?!!!" His voice raises and he's loud this time his eyes so red i don't know if I'm seeing the right colors.


"Don't scream OK?" I tell him but his chest his rising up and down.


"Louis I told you to stay away!! Didn't I? Then how did you even end up with him?!" He's pulling his hair off his head now.


"I don't know OK. I know its my fault but I just went to the washroom to wash off the juice i dropped on me because it had been more than an hour and I couldn't find you in the groups of fucking rich ass people all over and what could have I done?!"


"You could've called me. That's it. That's what it takes" he shrugs his hands flying


"I'm sorry okay" I'm trying to stay calm as possible because its neither helping him nor me. " ...its not much of a big deal anyways" I shrug of the thing now because it's getting on my nerves.



"What?!" His eyes scrunch and there's a horrified look on his face. "What did you just say? It's not s big deal? It's not a big deal Louis? It's nothing? Somebody just tried to sexually harass you and all you have to say is that it's not a big deal? God!" He scoffs almost sounding funny. He's laughing at me? He's laughing at me for something I'm trying to just shove down in a pit, something that had a huge effect on me but I'm just trying to keep things simple and all he's doing is laughing at my cowardliness. Well that's good.



"Yes! It's not a big deal to me.... Well then maybe it is!" I stand up its too fucking much right now. He just can't decide how I treat myself with my feelings. "Maybe it is a big deal to me but I'm just trying to make it vanish so that I don't have to sulk over it the rest of the days in my life. And if you think that's a wrong thing to do.... I don't wanna fucking talk to you right now. I'm going to Mrs Laura's house to apologize. You can sulk about things sitting your ass down just here like you do, always. Keep your ass stuck with the bad stuff and keep sulking about it." I storm out of the hall to the kitchen to pick up the strawberry pumpkin pie Niall told me to take for her. She likes it.


I exit the kitchen shoving my feet into my vans and Harry's loud footsteps fade as he enters into the bedroom banging the door shut.


I ring the doorbell and a little kid opens the door. "Mom there's someone at the door. It's a man" she shouts while I look at her from the net on the door. She's too short and cute with blonde hair and she's wearing blue jeans and a white top. She looks like Laura? She looks like Ms. Laura. Wow. What a replica.


Ms Laura appears from behind. "Yes-- oh Louis! C'mon c'mon in" she opens the door for me and the kid just stares at the pie I'm holding.


"Hi! I got something" I say entering in. She looks behind me like she expected someone else too. "I'm here to apologize for yesterday you know. How we all were so drunk. We didn't know. We're sorry to disturb your sweet night" I hand her the pie.


"Ohh Louis. It was hell of a night but its OK it's been only once so that's fine. It's not that you guys play music like that all the time!" She looks at the thing and the kid is just there as the Nickelodeon plays behind.
"It's been the first time. It's fine you didn't have to...oh my god" she looks into the pie. and she's happy and the kid is like 'show me show me'


"Thank-you so much. Who told you I like strawberry pumpkin pie?" Her eyes shine. Shes always like this real beauty.


"Apparently niall told me"


"That little fucker." She laughs. "Why don't you sit and I'll get you something to drink"


"Oh that's fine" I shove my hands in my pocket. "I don't drink"


"Oh. How about cran juice?"


"Great!"


I sit down at the couch and the little girl she sits beside me but a little away. She busy with the TV.


Well the house is warm. Nice place though. I feel a finger tap on my thigh. "Yes?"


"Hi I'm Nina" she waves. Oh she's got green eyes. "I've seen you with Uncle Harry"


"Hi." I smile at her. "Well I live with him"


"Oh. He's the only one I love after my mom and nan"


"That's good." I clear my throat. New news. "Well he's your uncle? How come?"


"Because Uncle Harry is my mom's first cousin"


"That so?"


"Yup"


Ms. Laura appears with 3 glasses of orange juice and cookies.


"Ms Laura you're Harry's sister?"


"Yes. He's my only brother" she smiles. I never knew. And he never told me when I met her for the first time in the parking garage. Oh shit. I remember how I called her names. Shit. She's so sweet and I thought the first time we met she was hitting on me. Fuck me. I'm such an old prick. "It's because my mom is Harry's mums real younger sister"


"Oh wow. Harry never told me this"


"I bet he was dying to" the door bell rings and Nina stands up to run an open the door.


"She's such a runner I tell you"


"Kids gotta learn" I tell her. I know every fucking thing about kids. "I know. I have 6 younger siblings, 5 sisters and 1 brother. Believe me you're going to be better at this" we both laugh in unison.


I can hear talking in loud whispers. Who is it she's whispering things to?


She comes back to me, "can I call you uncle Louis?"


"Yeah of course"


"So uncle Louis, uncle Harry said that you're a good man" fuck. Why is he here? I told him to sulk his ass off


"Go tell him to fuck off " apparently I said it loud.


"Louis!!" And apparently Harry heard it and he's walking in now. And Ms Laura she's laughing and I'm laughing with her.


"Don't worry about it Harry! Nina knows all sorts of words"


"But still!" He looks amused. I mean what's there to be amused about. She's gonna know them either way. It's better to be prepared.


He walks over to ms Laura to wrap his arms around. "Missed you" he squeezes her rubbing her sides.


"Sit down I'll get your smoothie" she chuckles stepping away and walking to the kitchen while Harry walks over and sits just beside me and Nina jumps and sits on his lap.


He's staring at me while all I'm trying to do is not talk to him. He's a bitch.


"You can swear at me if you want" he nudges my shoulder.


"Your ass finished sulking that you got the time to come here?"


"I guess" he chuckles. He fucking has the guts to laugh at me when a while ago all he did was blame me for my insecurities and things which I can't control.


"Don't talk to me I told you before, asshole!"


"You swear in every sentence you speak uncle Louis. That's bad manners" she turns her head to me as Harry I know is trying to not laugh at me.


"I know sweetie" I tell her. "But your uncle Harry, he deserves it" I nod but she frowns and all Harry is doing is sitting their and smiling at me. What the fuck.


"No he's a good man. He always gets me gifts on my birthday and once he shooed a dog away who was barking at me for no reason, you know. He's a good man"


"You done?!" I mock her "done with the ass licking?"


"Louis!" He almost nudges his whole body on me and Nina she's laughing at Harry's shocked face. "It's too much now" he looks annoyed. Yes goal achieved.


"Here you guys what happening here?" Ms Laura enters with Harry's smoothie and hands it to him and he mouths a thank-you.


"What are you laughing at Nina?"


"Uncle Louis and uncle Harry are fighting over ass licking" what the fuck? She's so good with
this.


Harry immediately covers her mouth and Ms Laura is as shocked as Harry. And they're both looking at me so horrified. as of they saw a ghost or something.


"What?" I ask them and all they do is stare back. "OK sorry"


"I mean she know words but she doesn't spell them out like that" Ms Laura steps back to sit down.


"anyway. What do you do Louis? As in job?"


"Right now I'm just sleeping all day because I lost my job due to some blunder and I don't know what have I done about it. But yes I made up my mind about going to find a job or something tomorrow"


"You didn't tell me you were gonna go" harrys hand reaches my thigh and lays it on top of it. Fuck it feels warm. Finally.


"Well you started to sulk your ass when you entered" I whisper the word.


"C'mon now!" Harry picks Nina up from his lap and tells her to go to her room and find something to draw.


"It's OK guys it's OK. Don't stress yourself up now" she switches off the television and the doorbell rings.


She gets up to open the door and Harry taps my thigh and immediately look at him. This is not the place to do things even if he wants to.


"What?"


"Nothing" he nods but I see it now. His face. It's like his eyes are swollen and a little red. His eyes are droopy. Shit. He cried. Fuck.


"Why .." I mouth but I'll change the topic. "Why didn't you tell me she was your sister?"


"I didn't get the time" his voice chokes but he clears his throat his palm squeezing my thigh.


"Are you okay?" I look at his face. He's not at all okay and his eyes are shinning and they're a bit dilated.


He nods a yes before rubbing his eyes. "Harry?" I squeeze his palm on my thigh. Fuck he looks concerned.


He gets up abruptly removing his hand roughly from mine and I watch him walk to the door where Ms Laura and Niall are pecking.
"Hey mate!" Niall says.


Harry mouths a hi and walk past him out the door.


"Is he okay?" Niall asks Ms. Laura and then he looks at me.


"Yes" I nod. "Some urgent work I guess" I stand up too.


"It was great to meet you guys" I shake her hand.


"Likewise" she smiles. "Thank you for the pie again"


"Ohh that's fine" niall smiles at me as he winks.
"Have fun!" He says chuckling.


"Bye!" I rush out.


That's weird he shouldn't have just ran out like that.


I enter in and Gemma is standing in the hall. "What's wrong with him?" She just returned
because she's just hanging her overcoat on the hook and dropping the bag.


"I don't know. I'll check" I tell her.


"Okay! Tell me if you need anything"


I enter in the bedroom peeking in carefully and I shut the door behind me. Harrys seated at the edge of the bed his face in his hands.


"What's troubling you?" I ask him. He's acting way to weirdly when its not his fault at anything that happened.



"You're asking me?!" He immediately looks up his face wet. "You're asking me. You tell me now!"


"I don't know"


"You wanna know?" He sniffles in.


"Sure I do. I'll be glad to"


"What's troubling me right now is that you say its not a big deal when all the while before crying all you said was that you don't cry at petty things. And I know way too clearly that you're not an emotional fool so why the hell did you cry your eyes out yesterday when you could've told me everything and we could've dealt with it tomorrow" he's almost shouting at me.


"I'm not emotional that's ok but that doesn't mean I can't cry"


"C'mon now don't change the topic" he looks so annoyed he might slam down everything. I don't know what's going to happen next but its fucking sure he's upset with me. Upset would be an understatement. He's mad at me, he's upset, he's hurt. He's more than hurt. But what can I do I just didn't want to see him in this situation and he is in it right now and I can't help it. I can't make him feel okay again. I can't because I clearly don't know the whole reason what makes him go so mad at Nick. I understand it's a big deal when somebody sexually harasses somebody but then you can't help it if you're the weaker one one you know. You just can't control their actions because you're weak and you just accept whats happening. Though it's the wrong thing to do. It's the wrong thing. They shouldn't be able to touch anybody without their permission.


But if it were yesterday and I was strong enough I'd for sure must've punched him, kicked him and for that maybe I'd even report him to the police if I were strong and not a pussy crying myself all night.


"What could have we done Harry? Make a fool out of ourselves blaming him, accusing him in front of the whole crowd who actually respect him? How would have they believed he touched me when the crowd didn't even give a fuck about me there. And it wasn't about me there. It's was Zayn's night. Nobody knew who I was and they wouldn't have believed me and instead I would've been kicked out of the place and as for you I didn't want to bring this up on you" I don't even know what I'm saying but that's the only thing that went through my head that moment.


"It doesn't matter if he has the higher place their Louis. We could've just.. God Louis I know him well enough to know that he could've done that" he huffs. "Forget it. You could've told me in the car. You could've told me when I asked you yesterday. Why didn't you?! That's the only thing that matters. I want to know the reason whatever it is. Right now and no lying. It's enough of lying tonight."


I don't know I just want to vanish right now. "Say something at least for fucks sake Louis!" He shouts and it startles me. He's stood up and he's walking over to me. "Say something please" he is crying as he stops in front of me. He holds my upper arms. "Say it.." His fucking face if I could just touch him to make it okay. Maybe even fix it. I bring my hands to his face and he steps back "tell me now"


"What do you think then? I didn't try to stop him? You say it like I was enjoying his gross wicked touches. He touched me and it felt so sick I wanted to throw up the next second right there. I was so dizzy. And he.." I choke. I don't even realize my face is wet with tears all running down. I've never wanted to cry again. It's the most awful thing to do. "...he said such awful things and right there I wanted to punch him and I did. I fucking did and I'm so proud of it. But he locked the washroom I don't know how and I was trapped. I wanted to call you but I didn't. I didn't want you come and see what was happening I know you'd be troubled" I think I'm out of breath and my chest is rising up and down. He's wiping his face and he's listening.
"I thought I'd handle it but then he pushed me back. I tried to stop but then he was stronger. I tried, OK?" Fuck. Fuck fuck. "Everybody, godammit everybody!" I kick my vans out of my foot and they land near the dresser. "Every fucking human being.. " I look at him in the eye. "..on this earth is stronger than me..and i-i am sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't fight for myself. I'm sorry because I can't fight people who grab my wrist and push me. I can't sto-p them. Th-they're mean and selfish and evil and stronger than me. And I'm sorry I can't be mean like that to other people. My mum didn't teach to be that kind.." I'm sobbing full and I don't know I won't stop this rush that's gotten into me I feel numb because of it. I can't feel my face and my hands and my feet and I just want to drop down on the floor.


"Louis.." He gets up but I raise my hand.


"But you know I'm kind of happy I had the chance to punch him. Even if that led him to sexu-ally harass me. Yo-u know..i'm-I'm happy I did that because he was talking shit. Because he was saying awful things about som-mebody who has a bigger meaning in my life. You mean a lot more than all those f-ucks trying to end all the good in this world. Here, I'm sitting waiting to get over things one by one, piece by piece and ever-ybody is just... like.. trying to ruin it eve-ry time" fuck. I feel it I wipe my face pulling my hair back.


He's standing just in front of me. I don't know what to expect. He's been a lot through lately and I see it on his face. Like every single time but I can't get it. I don't know if he'll get what's on my face. I know its hard to read my face but he's the only one who gets it. He's the only one who understands it.


I step back and fall on the stool of the dressing table, burying my face in my hands. I do-- fuck what did I just do. He didn't deserve it. Fuck what did I do to him. Every fucking time I breakdown on on him. And this is so embarrassing and ridiculous of me to do.


"I'm sorry Harry. I'm really sorry" I say not picking up my face.


"You should be" is all he says and steps away. He walks back as i lift my face to look at him.


He seats himself at the the edge of the couch dropping his head back and lying down.
"I shouldn't have--" he gulps lying down wiping his face with his hands. He gets up looks at me and then walks into the washroom.


This is how this ends? I'm glad we've never really had a talk before like that. This, this is how it ends when you're so mad and all you're feeling just pops out of your mouth, every feeling just vomits itself out onto the person you never want to hurt or disgust. But this is what happens. It's shit. Shittier than you'll ever feel. That's not even a word but that's how I exactly feel. Just exact how I feel.


Fuck I don't know if I feel anything. Fuck. FUCK. fuck. fuCK. FUCK!! FUcCK!!!! FUCKkk! FUCKKKK.!!!



WHAT DID I DO??! FUCK.

Notes

How are your holidays going?! I hope quite well and cozy! Happy new year everyone of my readers!!! Have a great year ahead leaving all bad things behind.!! Keep commenting, voting and subscribing!! Loads and loads and loads of love!! XOXO