LOST AND STILL FINDING(larry stylinson)

Louis' pov

"Are you fie and not angry with me?" He says after a little pause but before I can say anything his hand squeezes my hand lightly. There's this feeling inside me rushing hard through my stomach.
"I am thank you and plz its OK" I say stressing out a bit. I don't know there's something stressing me out. Something about harry. Every time I'm with him I feel it. I don't know if I should ask him or what. I feel it again today, like I felt some days before. Just so worried about him. His eyes don't shine like they did the day I met. He's been self haring I know.
I know it every time he does. He seems too weak right now. Even the colour of his skin seems pale today. The way his eyes are drooping while driving it shows like he's deprived of something. Something he's always wanted dearly. I don't know. Its all unknown and like missing. And I want to help him so much, so much that he never has to do something like that to himself. I've not even seen his dimpled smile within past days.its so annoying that I don't even know the reason.
The horn of the car distracts me from my worried thoughts as I look away from harry onto the long driveway were entering into which has a huge huge iron door in front which automatically opens and gives our car way into the farmhouse. On the sides are huge lawns and in front a bungalow not huge but big at least. Harry drives in turns right and stops the car in front of the door gates entering into the bungalow. Its looks real old if we go by the architecture with carved pillars and flower petal designs on top of the them.

But right now the lawns are full we the snow on top of them. Its snow everywhere and its chilling. My name insides have literally started to shake due to the chill and I anyways fee the chill of Tue whole world together. I can't take winters coz the chills it sends down my spine with every chilling breeze. I rub my palms together blowing in hot air to help me with some warmth but its not helping. I turn around to harry to see what taking him time.

Harry shuts down the engine as we both step out of the car. "Where are exactly we?" I finally ask. "Just wait, u'll know when we enter. " He walks to the back of the car and opens the trunk I don't know for what and after few seconds he takes out a black trench coat and a blue denim jacket and shuts the trunk.

"Its cold I know, wear this" he walks up to me handing me the denim jacket which had fit on its collar. I liked it.

"Thanx" I say as I wear it and harry seem to struggle with his trench coat as we both walk up a few step to do ally reach the entrance as harry finally get ready and rings the door bell.

"Don't say that you've come here to make me meet your parents?" I ask him as the scary idea of meeting his parents struck me.
"No dumbo. These are really lovely people. My parents anyway don't live here" he says as we both wait in silence for a few seconds before the doors open and a pretty lady appears in front of us smiling brightly and her smile widens as soon as her eyes meet Harry's.

She has long blonde hair which seem to be tied in a bun as she's wearing warm black woolen skirt till her knee and a creme color woolen shirt and a finely knitted navy blue cardigan. She looks pretty and breathtaking with her light brown eyes and slightly baby pink lips. She looks somewhat in her late 30's for her face.

Harry steps forward to hug her tightly as she greets him and I just stand here.

"Its been such a long time since I've seen you harry. You look so much better" she says gently holding by his arms as she looks at him checking him. I just stand there patiently observing them until its my turn to speak.

"I am so sorry I didn't turn up on Christmas. I was so occuppied but I tried and I thought I would be able to make it but I didnt and I decided to turn up today. Its okay right?" He asks her politely but I remember where he was occupied. He was with me at the hospital. Oh my I don't even know he skipped meeting this pretty lady for me?

"Uh-oh " he stops in between realising i was there too. "Louis this is Mrs Katy butcherson and Mrs butcherson he is Louis Tomlinson and apparently we're staying together at our apartment and we're----" harry pauses and turns his face to look down at me and I look up at him confused as to why did he pause but suddenly I feel harry's cold fingers touching my palm and he slowly slides his fingers intertwining our hands. The immediate rush of heat inside me makes up my body warm and my heart beat quickens up as something deep inside my stomach tingles.

"We're dating" he looks straight into my eyes and I standing there completely awestruck by his words and I don't really know what he just meant. We haven't even discussed anything of this sort though anyway I don't object it. But he could've informed me so I didn't have look like an idiot staring at him like that fondly nearly close to drooping.

"Oh my god harry you don't know how happy I am for you. I've been waiting for this so long" she pulls him close to her again hugging him harry still holding my hand and I am standing not knowing what just happened as things right now are not processing in my head. Everything seems stopped and world seems to takes turns in front of me. I don't know what I should be doing so I just look down at our hands and I hold it tightly , squeezing his palm a little tighter. He pulls away from her and looks at me again his smile with the dimple going wide and his eyes shinning his skin glowing. He looks so brightened up right now. Ive never seen him look so charming before the way he's looking back at me with I don't know what I should call it warmth or maybe love. But I can't Go that far right now. Right now what I have in my head is just that I'm supposidly dating harry styles whom I've always wished.


"You both look so great together, thank you Louis" the lady greets me as she shakes my hand and smiles back at me with all the motherly love.

"Cmon boys in, we can chat in front of the fireplace."the lady welcomes us in as we step I harry still not leaving my hand and I don't even try to leave his hand. I feel a bit complete right now and regret having been shouting up in harry a few hours ago.

"Its almost 11:45, the countdown gonna begin" harry begins as we take up seats on the couch as finally harry slides away his hand. "I am so sorry brownie I couldn't turn up on Christmas" harry apologizes to brownie!. But whose brownie. I need more clarifications here.

"Its totally fine harry I understand. Its okay. Here have some " the lady offers some cookies and harry without care picks up a hand full. "Whose brownie by the way?" I speak up I don't want to feel awkward here.

"Oh, " the lady laughs "harry class me brownie because if the delicious brownies I make" she smiles as she takes a seat in front of our couch.

"And you are Harry's?" I ask whats the relation between them. U seriously don't know why he got me here. Harry does not speak up and as I turn to him he has all the cookies stuffed into his mouth. I mean how? He can't even chew them and he stuffed them all?

"I am actually Harry's nurse. I took care of him during.." her face falls suddenly as he looks down at her hands and then at harry and I just look between them nt really understanding what's the matter. Why did she stop?.
"When he had a major as-asthma attack at the age of seven" she stutters a little but conti yes anyway as she smiles at the end. "Oh" is all I say but seriously there is something wrong here.

"Where's becky? I don't see her. Is she asleep?" Harry asks her as he gets up from his seat. "She's upstairs..but she's not gonna talk to you. She's upset with you for nt turning up on Christmas" she half laughs.

"No I'll go get her. How come she is upset" harry doesn't seem pleased. He walks into the area of the kitchen to the way which leads to the staircase just beside the kitchen and hurries up the stairs. As he disappears. The lady too stands up and I guess she leaving to go to the kitchen but she walks and sits beside me. What the fuck did I do wrong? But she seems so kind and gentle and humble. She is a perfect mother somebody would pray for.


"Thank you Louis" she keeps her palm on my knee gently squeezing it. "For what ?" I am totally confused. "For being there for harry,u know its been such a long time I've seen him so happy and cheerfully" she begins. I just smile and I don't know what to say.

"You know it kinder of hurted me to see him so incomplete and stressed all the time since he started staying in the city two years back. He was so alone. I am glad you entered into his life. He looks so full of life now" she tells me thanking me for everything. Its not me who did this. Its not me dfntly but smbdy else. I don't even know how harry was before but if she says he's so full now, the it must be coz to me he still looks so stressed and all.


"You know for a lovely and a gentle guy he is nobody can see him get hurt so bad. Its not hard falling for him. Its seriously not very hard falling in love with him" I don't even know how these words escape my mouth but I just end up confessing my love fr harry in front of the lady who I just met a while ago. I've never been attached to somebody so quickly. She is defntly a lovely lady with lovely powers.

"You can't even guess how happy I am right now that harry can stay happy forever and for me I care for him even more than my own children coz for he's been through he's been really strong all the time and I hope you are going to make him even more strong" the lady says as he begins to sob tiny droplets falling out her eyes.


"He's definitely in safe hands you don't have to worry okay." I tap her knee gently to tell her that it was okay. I am willing to take care of him.

"I can hope so he's in safe hands" "Dfntly" I smile and she wipes of her tear drops and gets up. "I'll get you coffee or tea?" She asks

"Tea dfntly" I tell her and she walks away into the kitchen. I get up as I shove my hands into the jackets pocket and look around the house.
There's this photo frame over the fire place . I guess its her husband. On the other frames are little kids. One is I guess Becky after who harry just ran and the other I don't know, but he is defntly younger than Becky.

"Do you mind answering a question?" I say a bit loud so that my voice reaches her in the kitchen. "Ask me and then I'll decide."

"Like is your husband in army? Coz I can't make out from the photo here" I say again "He was in the army. He passed away 5 years back in a shootout in america" she says but a bit low. "Oh my. I am so sorry Mrs butcherson. Ididnt mean to. I am so sorry. " I apologize as I walk up to her into the kitchen.

"Its perfectly fine. You don't have to worry" she assures.

"And there was another picture of your younger son I guess?" "Yeah," she smiles "he's warner" "Oh, a huge name for a little kid. I cant wait to meet him! Where is he?"

"He's asleep in his room. You could talk to him when he gets up. He's very naughty. Its takes almost and hour to get him to sleep" she laughs as she's almost done with the tea. "Don't worry mrs butcherson I was too. I still am I guess" I laugh as I pick up my cup of tea which she offers to me.


We both walk up to the stairs to Becky's room, as harry is busy trying to talk to her while she's seated on the bed and he's seated in front of her crossed leg on the duvet with his palm under his chin, his back arched.


"I got something for you butterfly, you wanna see?" He asks her hiding something in his fist. We both walk into the room lady giving him his cup of coffee.


"Yeah, but I'm not talking to you and I know its gonna be the same cookie you stole from the table downstairs. I know" the little girl snaps harry off crinking her nose "But just see what I have its something different this time" he tries to convince her while we watch silently the war between him and Becky.


"Noo" she exaggerates. "I know its 5 times you keep tricking me" "No no its different just have a look" he tries to somehow convince by tricking her. But he's not good I can say. And how does he even keep tricking her the same godamn way. You cudve change ur gifts


"Okay cmon, is it really not the cookie?" "Nah" he nodds


"Really yeah?" "Okay then show me what's in?" She gets excited, jumping on her place she gets on both of her knees. "Okay you ready?" He shifts closer to her shaking his head to shift the fringe falling off on his face


" in one two and three" she says. "Yay" vary screams and opens his fist revealing.. What? "I told you, I told you, you were gonna do this..you're so bad" she starts to weep.


And guess what Harry's doing, laughing himself out like a 3 year old like he is still convinced about the cookie joke. He looks like he's gonna be out of breath laughing any second and he's not even thinking about that poor Becky he's been tricking for 6 tines in a row. And its hard not to giggle at at the thought that he feels still so convinced about the joke.


"OK cmon I'm sorry" he pulls her by her arm making her sit on his lap. "Don't say that" she says in her weeping voice. Why such a change in her mood.


"I love you" he says as he kisses hr on the cheek. "Only if you go to the pool with me?" She puts up a condition. "Okay no problem" he kisses her again.


She gets up from his lap all excited as she gets down from the bed and her eyes shift to me. And she looks up at me. "Who are you?" She looks up at me. "Uh me? I'm Harry's friend" "Boyfriend" the lady corrects me and the feeling inside me shivers.


"Oh yeah yeah I'm his bo-yfriend Louis Tomlinson" I gesture my hand for a hand shake. "Harry?" She folds her arms. "Butterfly?" He gets down the bed taking his cup and sipping his coffee.

"U told me u love me?" "Yeah i do" "So why is he your boyfriend?" She's tapping her foot "Umm he jus-just came into my life and really happy" he nods holding her cheek with the other hand. Those seem to just melt down inside me. He confessing that in front me really that made my goosebumps just excited a bit. "Really you are happy?" She chirps


"Yeah I am" he nods smiling wide those dimples piercing. Its been a long Ive seen those digging in.


"Okay so meet at the pool" she runs away smiling out of the room. The lady sighs beside me,"Becky nooo come back its almost about time for the countdown" she exists walking hurriedly behind her and harry just stands smiling there.


"Soo" I begin breaking the silence as harry turns around taking the last sip of his coffee. "That was surprising" I tell.him my heart just beating faster as he put the cup aside and steps closer to me. Believe its the most foreign feeling I've ever had. Its like I don't know I don't have words. But still it feels so great. I mean who would be so special that a guy like harry would want to be your boyfriend.


"For me too" he puts his hands on my shoulder looking down at me. "You know you could've warned me, yeah?" He pulls me closer his arms wrapping around my neck. Believe me my heat could just race out of my body right now.


"You never gave me the chance, you were already so angry at me, I didn't know how to tell you at that time" "I wasn't angry though but somewhat yeah I was" I agree.



His hands cup my chin as he's so close to me. I could feel his hot rough breaths. "Harry we--"

I'm cut off with smash of his lips on mine. And I guess my heart just left my body at that contact. Those entering my mouth I could barely breath. I could he was desperate at that moment. Not only him mee too. His lips smoothly, intently kissing me like there was no end. I loved it. The feeling in my pit and the my cheeks flushing due to the sudden rise of heat inside my body, I could only feel the taste of coffee on my lips.
My eyes are shut immediately as he bites my lower lip pulling it, "harr-eh" my mouth escapes as my hand reach his chest. Soft moans escape my mouth.

He gently pulls away breathing deeply sending feels inside me, my god I want more. My goosebumps are still active. Im standing there my eyes closed wishing I could get more of him just standing there my hands placed on his chest as I could feel his chest rising up and down rapidly bit now its slower. I open my eyes recovering back as I directly look up into his eyes and he's staring down at me his eyes gleaming so bright.


"Let's go down for the countdown okay?" He asks me and I nod. I don't have Anything to say. We walk down the staircase down outside the huge hall ad out into the lawn as we walk back around the huge bungalow to the pool.


"Hurry up" Becky shouts from near the pool as he points out to huge clock that's set up at the back of their building on the top like the big ben has it. Not that huge but its pretty huge. "Woah that's huge" I comment as we jog a little and wait there as the last 10 seconds re left and Becky begins.


"10, 9---" and harry joins her as well as the lady, I don't know if I should or not I dont this really but anyway I should or not but the next secid I fee harry nudging me to join and I do.


"5, 4 , 3 ,2 ,1" and there The sudden burst of fire crackers in the sky and everybody looks up, and becjkys just so excited and the lady just staring up smiling and harry? Whats up with him.

He looks terrified, literally he has his FCE all frowned up , "shit this is shit, fuck I don't like this " he mutters beside me lowly "What the matter?" I ask him as he takes a seat at the pool bench.

"Nothing just that these are creepy" he looks up at me shoving his hands into his over coat.

"Nevrmind , happy new year" he beams. "Happy new year " I wish him back and everybody else. Everybody else wishes each other.

"C'mon everybody now in? You're gonna catch cold Becky and you misters you too cmon in, you could stay tonite anyway the roads will be jammed right now"


"No no brownie we're gonna leave, I CNT take a holiday tom I have a big recording coming up, I'm sorry I just can't"

"We could stay if she's insisting you know?" I shrug coz the lady had a nice offer, and I don't have a problem staying here tonite.

"Yeah harry, your so great Louis, and anyway Louis' been here for the first time you should stay tonite?" She almost pleads. "Brownie I'm really sorry , I would've stayed and I want too but seriously I've got work which I can't postpone and I need Louis for that too so just please--" he begs as he holds her hands.

"Okay, but next weekend you guys are coming over?" She compromises "Yeah definitely and I'll get you some chocolates for today's apology?" He laughs and I frown?


"Okay, though get something diff for Becky she could kill you the next time you give the cookie to her!" She laughs back


"Okay" he says and hugs her tightly and i next I do too. I feel so close though it feels only an hour or so I've met her. It feels family.

I miss my real family right now I wish I could just be with them right now. Like every new year I've been with them.

It feels different this time though new but still I need my Lottie right now who would forcefully stuff her burnt cake into my mouth .


I take a deep breath and follow harry to the car as we drive back home.

Notes

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