LOST AND STILL FINDING(larry stylinson)

Louis' p.o.v

Not at all surprised to what he did. I knew this would come but at least not in this way.
Right now I don't know what to say though I just walk over to him.
"Calm down Harry please" I say as I sooth his back.
"I'm sorry for all this. You don't deserve it. I don't know why I do this to you?" He says to me as looks down at his hands.
" u can go to bed please" he tells me as he begins to walk into the kitchen
"No harry please" I follow him, "you want to talk about it?" I ask him concerned.
"No Louis please just go" he tells me taking out beer bottles from the fridge. This time its 2. OK these are his 4th and 5th bottle.
"OK then don't talk me but please don't drink..u act weird this way" I say as I try to take the bottles away from him but his hold is strong.

"Why the hell do you think you care? Why the hell do you think you can sort all things out?" He shouts at me again but this time I wasn't prepared and I'm a little taken aback as I step back as those words fall out from his mouth. That did hurt because whatever he said was not my intention. Yeah I do care for him. A lot. More than anything I cared for till now. Bit I never thought that I could sort all things straight.

"I never thought about it that way" I tell him as I walk a bit away from him. I know he never would hurt me intentionally or unintentionally.

But right now I don't know what to expect from him.

"I'm going to my room..and if you follow me now I don't know what I will do so please just don't" he warns me his eyes shot red. I haven't seen harry so fierce and angry before but right now I can't leave him alone.

Thoughts of all things he could do to himself right now scared me too much. I know he thinks so ill of himself all the time. I don't know why he does that. He thinks he deserves the worst though all he deserves is best of everything.

He walks past me through the hall into the hallway as my eyes travel behind his way and I too pad my feet along to follow him though he told me not to.

He enters into his room and turns around to lock the door but i reach his doorstep in time and push the door back stopping him from shutting it.

"Don't you understand a simple instruction?" He says through his teeth.

"I'm sorry for not obeying. But I can't let you do this. Please" I plead him as I stand in the doorway not letting him close the door as he has his beer bottles in his hand.

"Just go" he says warning me for I think the last time. His eyes lock with mine and I know those tears are fighting to roll down his cheek but he doesn't let them.

"I can't go" I whisper to him looking straight into his eyes which seem to turn shot red again as I tiny drop falls from the corner of his eyes.

"Just go Louis.." His voice cracks and anybody could tell right now he is trying not to sob in front of me.

"I don't know what harm I could do to you so please just go" he says in a low voice.

I know he would do anything but atleast he won't be harming himself and that is what I want. Him not harming him self. I just hate that. I don't know why the hell does he have to do that all the time.

"You know it, m not leaving" I tell him looking dead right into his eyes. I'm not, I know it.

He shakes his head and takes a seep breath literaly trying to stop himself from doing something.

"What the fuck Louis please move" his voice cracked again. "Im standing here until you tell me what's wrong" I say as I shrug at him. My heartbeat racing.

"There isn't anything wrong" he grinds his teeth. "And anyway if there is why do you think you are the one I'm going to tell" he says taking a sip from his beer. Man something hit me deep.

"I don't know but you have to..even if you think I'm mad" I say.

"Okay" he deep breaths. Is he going tell me everything? "You wanna stand here the whole night let it be enjoy your new year eve here" he bends down looking into my eyes like he meant it, moving away from the doorway walking to his bed.

"I'm going to bed u enjoy" he says. I don't know if this is him or the beer talking but I hope its the beer coz I couldn't even imagine harry talking to me like this. He never would. He isn't this way.

I follow him inside as I pull out a chair from his dresser and seat myself on it as I wait for him to finish his beer bottles. In total five. I don't stop him at this. I know its not my right. But at least I could stop him from self harming. He still thinks I don't know about it, but I know very single time he did that to himself. Maybe not before I came here but dfntly after I came.

He gulps down every single drop inside the bottle and i watch him sitting there. Tear drops rolled down his cheeks with every sip he took. I so wished I could just get up and wipe them down his face coz whatever he is doing to himself he is totally not worth it. He is just perfect the way he is and I just don't get it why- why he does that.

With every sip he gulped down tears would drop down on to his face. I'm not one of those who get emotional seeing a person crying but this time my hear t couldn't take it. Inside me a firework started. My heart sunk deep into my belly as it was racing making me breath faster. But I didn't get up. I let him finish whatever he wanted to do. Whatever he could do in front of me. He keeps the bottle on the side of his bed and looks at me with his red shot eyes pleading wanting something but just couldn't express them.

"I'm going to sleep you wanna join?" He slurs at me his curls falling to the side of his forehead as he tucks his fingers at the hem of his tank top and swiftly removes it off him. All his tattoos beautifully staring back at me but I don't know how I didn't notice that before. His yellow shorts were hung a bit lower today, I mean too low. I could see his v line. Oh my that is sexy. But there were some lines in his lower waist just above his v line. Maybe that were stretch marks. That are stretch marks. But how how could he have these. My head started thinking all possible reasons he could get them but they were all illogical.

"Are you gonna sit there and stare at me the whole night?" He slurs again this time wiping of the sweat that covered his forehead and pushing his curls behind his ear.

"I asked you something, you hear me?" He shouts with his drunken tone but it seemed I was dumb folded in front of him right now. My mind couldn't process words that he spoke. I was totally awestruck by him sitting in that chair only staring fondly at his beautiful face.

He clicks his fingers twice and instantly I get back into reality. "Could you do me a favour?" He asks me once more.

"Yeah of course" I say

"You sleep with me tonight or you leave, choose one?" He smirks at me. What? He's drunk but that doesn't mean he asks me to sleep with him. Though that's such a good chance of me having sex with Greek god but not drunk god, that would be just taking advantage of him and what if he disowns me in the morning? No no I can't. But I can't leave him here alone knowing he could do things to himself when I can always stop him from doing it. This is what I don't want to happen.

"Answer me Louis" he shouts as he leans to the side and slide into the duvet.

My body shakes a little before answering him but I still don't know what to say I just take a deep breath. "I'm gonna fuck that mouth of yours if your not gonna answer me in the next second" oh gosh. Its like I'm dreaming coz these words coming out of Harry's mouth don't match.

I'm still sitting in that chair processing his words before he gets up again wiping off the tear that just rolled down his own cheek.

"Why are you so stubborn Louis?" His breath alters as he says my name and something inside me in my pit ignites and travels fiercly tearing up my heart. He tilts his head to the side glancing up at me with pleading eyes and a wounded heart.

"Why don't you just leave?" His words coming out in whispers "....please" tears starting to roll down his cheeks again.

"I can't " I reply looking him right in the eyes and there is a sense of relief inside him I see through his eyes.

"Why do you care?" He says through his teeth his eyebrows knitting together.

"I don't know" I reply him shrugging. And he just hurries his head into his hands as he starts to cry bad. Like bad. You can't even call that crying or sobbing. The ways he screamed when he cried my heart just couldn't take in those voices. He was howling as he breathed faster and faster choking on his breath every time he tried to stop himself from howling. He looks up brushing his hand through his face wiping off everything.

"You like it this way?" His lips try to form words coz his voice was so low I could only read his lips. "Just seeing how strong you are" I say as I get up from my chair walking towards him.

"You're just enjoying me so terrible" he says between sobs. He looks up at me as I walk up to him and stand just in front of him inches away from his foot. I've never seen such a longing look in any one else's eyes as i saw it right now in his eyes, I wish i could kiss all his pain all his suffering again. Those red eyes filled with tears looked at me like he searched something inside me. No matter how much I wanted to stop myself from not touching him coz I know if I did he would break, break into pieces in front of me which I wouldn't be able to collect together. Only because if he breaks I break. I know I'm not an emotional fool but when it comes to harry I surrender myself to him. My definition of love says," surrounding yourself into somebody's arms" and right now I can't do that.

My breath was speeding up, the burning sensation inside me increased. My hands traveled onto his shoulders and he leaned into its side staring at me. His body shivered under my touch but I know he was already shaking. I move my hand up to his neck as I gently wipe away the tears falling on his cheek each replacing a new one every second.

He squeezed his eyes shut as my hand gently moved up and cupped his cheek and he leaned into my hand more. His tensed body relaxed under my touch. My other hand cupped his other cheek as I piled his face gently a little up and bending down I kissed away his tears. Each one. Which kept falling as I kept missing each one. He started shaking again as he cried and cried, his hands wrapped around my waist and pulled me close as he opened up his knees and I kneeled down between his legs.

I don't stop. I couldn't see him so miserable anymore, though I didn't know the reason behind his behavior, but I couldn't see him like that. I just couldn't. It makes me weak. He makes me weak. He makes my body melt.

"Stop"harry whispers to me as he looks up his head tilting sideways.

I don't stop. I know I can't and I wouldn't . I can't see him suffering. I can't totally ignore what's happening in front of me.

"Why do you care so much??" He asks me his voice pleading. I don't know why. I just do. Simply because I can't watch him suffer.
I kept kissing him, he kept on crying. Neither did he stop, nor did i. I kissed every tear drop that fell. I kissed him till I was out of breath and till he was short of tears.

My heart raced and my breath altered. I could feel him calming down under my touch. I could feel his body relaxing. He suddenly shifts back shuffling away from my touch he deep breathes making himself feel the reality.

"Oh god Lou..." He cups my cheek as his hold on my waist tightens. He pulls me close a smile propping up on his face his nose all red.

"Ur so damn cute" and he nuzzles his head into my neck sucking under my ear sending shivers inside my body and my face quirks up a smile immediately. "And ur so damn sexy" I whisper into his ear as I feel ticklish on my neck and I squirt away giggling.

"Stop doing this cute little thing"he frowns and his expression turns blank as he stares down at my lips so tentatively. I need what he needs and he needs what I need.

Within a second smashing his lips on mine he's moaning in my mouth. I kiss him back with full passion. Though this being my first kiss I didn't know how to do it but Harry's lips guided me really well. the butterflies inside me fluttered swiftly. Oh my, he really melts me. My insides were all dancing with joy and my heart sunk deep down into my belly.

My body ignited as it started to heat up. I know my cheeks were burning right now but as harry palm cupped me on my cheeks his lips connected to mine I didn't want to feel anything else. Only his plump lips for which I've longing since I've met him. He leaned into me harder, biting my lower lip he moans loudly making me whimper. I just keep kissing him with passion like there's no end to it. His hands brushed into my hair pulling them as the other hand traveled down my back pulling me to him.

"Harry" I breath almost breathless, trying to gain consciousness. He moans into me again with the loss of touch and pulls me close again leaning into me, trying to gain the touch back.

I deep breath putting my hands on Harry's shoulders as his head hangs low as he does not look up at me. My hands glide up to his neck up to his cheeks as I pull his head up.

"Look at me harry, please look at me" I try to find his eye contact. "Please no harry, please look at me" words this time come out in a whisper. He finally looks up at me his eyes in a shade a emerald green shinning, tears forming again.
"I'm sorry Louis!" He speaks up low. "But for what? U haven't done anything!" He looks into my eyes and I'm glad he doesn't look away.

"For bursting out on you before" his eyes plead. "No no that's okay, nobody knows what they're doing when they're angry plus drunk" I chuckle. "Oh Lou...can I hug you?" He asks me his hands on my waist.

"Harry!" I chuckle "you've already kissed me" I tell him my cheeks turning red I guess.

He giggles back swiftly pulling me into hug, tightly as possibly as he could. My hands travel down his back as I hold him tight. He gently nudges into me kissing me on the neck his fingers forming circles on my nape. I breath in his scent sniffling into him closer trying to feel his chest through my t shirt. I can feel his chest breathing faster as it pounded against mine.


"Will you stay with me tonight?" He asks me whisperings into my ear.

"Everynite" I reply back. I could feel his lips curve up into a smile as he sucked me hard on my skin.


I giggle in return,"god stop tickling me" I squeek.


He pulls away laughing,"U gonna kill me with your giggles, cmon up on my bed" he loosens his grip on my waist so that I could climb up. I fasten up to the bed as I crawl up.


"Ehh slow down" he laughs as I hurry up myself under the duvet. "Let me set the bed first" he growls.


"Nevermind its gonna be same in the morning " I roll inside the duvet.


"No plz.."he says.


"Its OK haz, join me" my arms open out for him. A smile props up on his face as he scoots up on the bed hurrying himself he slides in the duvet shuffling towards me, "sure" his swollen lips curve up again those dimples digging into his cheeks as he comes closer to hug me.


"Ur so weird" I mouth into his chest




"Sorry" he whispers into my ear "No that was a compliment" I tell him nuzzling in



"Thanx" he kisses me on the forehead

Notes

Ohh my so they're finally in love. If this fanfic were real(though Larry is already real) I would've really died for harry but anyway he has Louis to care of him.

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