LOST AND STILL FINDING(larry stylinson)

Louis’ p.o.v
After zayn left discussing with harry what he is going to spray paint on the wall, which hazza left, harry was busy doing something and i was in my room.
I could literally see harry beg in front of zayn to not allow him to paint but it just didn’t help coz zayn was like “I own this place, (though he doesn’t), so you cant stop me from spray painting and I don’t care, I can raid the house in the night”

The way he talked about it the whole time was enough to tell me how passionate he was about the whole spray painting thing.

So here I was laying down on my stomach and writing down some important things in my journal and i even doodled some stars and moons and crosses and alien faces and zig zag lines and hearts and funny faces and planets and guitars and circles and squares and just waiting for the day to end. I turned and sat up a bit slouching and leaning back. My knees were folded up as I supported my diary on my knees and thought of writing another poem.

Poems were not really included my interests but I was just penning down thoughts I had inside me coz I feared of forgetting them which I didn’t want to. I had written several poems before but they were never given a proper title. It was just something I wished to write. And they cannot even be called poems if I had to say literally. They never rhymed. As the poem reached their ending the whole meaning of the poems changed. The poems were basically on love, hatred, betrayal, blood, scars, sadness, loneliness and all those gloomy and sad thoughts.so this was one i penned down right now,


“Hey ,
don’t u know,
I’m here standing alone
So wont you come and take me home,
Coz its raining now
An I don’t want to be all alone this night
I wish this could happen
The way I’ve always imagined
With you and i
Dancing on the songs we sang all night
Please do come to me coz i
Cant watch others enjoy our night
But I never knew
U would do this to me
Becoz whom I thought were others
Was actually you dancing in the rain without me”


The poem which just entered my head was something useless. This clearly showed I needed sleep. I rested my head back and shut my eyes .

I was too tired to switch off the lights or even keep my diary aside. So the diary rested on my stomach upside down as i held onto it tight.


HARRY’S P.O.V
I was in the kitchen searching for some chocolate powder and gems and small cherries to decorate it on the top of a small brownie muffin I just baked.

I almost searched every drawer and cupboard inside the kitchen to find the chocolate powder until I saw it kept on the corner of the slab. I’ve never met an idiot like me.

I quickly grab it and sprinkled it on the top of the gems and little cherry on the center.
It looked just fine and just perfect brownie muffin for the occasion.

Now I needed a candle. I tip toed and opened the topmost cupboard to find a packet of birthday candles I usually kept for birthdays. Not mine but niall, zayn and liam’s.

I put the candle on the cakein the center near the cherry and looked at the kitchen clock. It was 11:50 right now. I don’t know what started making me feel nervous all at once as soon as I thought of wishing him happy birthday.

So that I don’t ruin it up while wishing him I started to whisper to myself standing there in the kitchen.
“happieee b’dayy Louis”

“happy birthdayyyyyyy Louis”

“HAPPYYY BIRTH DAYYYY LOU”

“H-A-P-P-P-Y B-I-R-T-H-D-A-YYYY L-OUIS”
I was sure I was ruining it now so possibly I’ll be ruining it then too.
5 minutes had passed already and now I was supposed to be heading off to louis’ room.
I walk out of the kitchen turning towards the hallway. I walked silently though still shaking inside being nervous.

I was now standing in front of louis’ room with the door shut. As I was about to knock I took a deep breath and I remembered that this was not the time to knock but surprise him.
So with the brownie in my hand with the candle burning I twisted the door knob making the slightest noises. I open the door as I step in. the lights were on so I had I thought that he must b awake, but he wasn’t.

I shut the door behind me as I walk nearer to the bed still a bit nervous with thoughts inside my head that what if he shouts at me for disturbing his sleep? no he wont. He’s not zayn. Coz practically zayn slapped me once wen I woke him up on his birthday night. Louis is different.

I kept the brownie muffin on the side night stand and went and sat on the side of the bed till where his feet reached. His head was resting back but I noticed he was holding tight a diary close to his chest. I observed t was the same diary he hid in the afternoon wen zayn was here.

That was his journal for sure, no doubt. I stared at those hands which were so tightly holding on to it. I slowly shifted closer to him and slightly pick his hand up to take the diary from there.i was worried I would wake him up but thank goodness I didnt I was not going to read it. bc it is personal stuff. It was not that I wasn’t keen, I literally was but reading it without permission was not me. Reading someone’s journal is bad manners.

As I got up to keep the diary on the night stand, please note without reading it, and pick up my little brownie muffin I saw lou shifting a bit and a sense of nervousness hit me again. I took my seat hurriedly and sat back waiting for Louis to open his eyes.

I really did not know if it was a good idea to wake him up right now but till now I hadn’t tried to even wake him up, he was shifting on his own. But to my surprise he did not wake up though he just shifted a little bit and then again was in deep sleep.

It was 12:05 already and I was sitting there wondering wether to wish him or not. But I was going to wish him. I baked the little not so looking like a cake brownie muffin.
right now I was sitting on the side of the bed but I got up turned around and crawled to the other side of Louis with the cake still in my hand. I went and sat just beside Louis staring down at the muffin which had the candle burning and after so much time only half of it was left. This gave me a clue that I had to pick him up soon or the candle would just destroy it.

I pouted to myself looking at Louis, I whispered ,”how do I do this?”. “I am so nervous” wishing for Louis to tell me how to wish him.

I deep breathed, huffed a little and then cleared my throat to finally get myself ready.
Though I wanted to scream in his ear but I ended up whispering into his ear as I leaned a bit nearer to him, “get up Louis, its your birthday”

I wanted to laugh at myself for being so stupid and dumb and trying to wake him up with a whisper. And I was correct, he didn’t even shift this time.

“hey Louis, its your birthday get up plz” I whispered again.
No answer, he went on snoring beside me.

“Louis please, the candle is going to finish in two seconds please get up” I whispered again into his ear.

No answer again.

This time I shifted closer to him so that I was touching him and whispered a bit loudly into his ear, “lou sweetcheeks please get up..its your birt—“

His eyes suddenly shot open and his head turned towards me and I was taken aback,his eyes widened as he was still frowning. “Ouch..” he murmured, “my neck..” his hand reached his nape as it must’ve got a crink cz his head was resting at the head rest of the bed.

“what are… you doing here?” he shots a question.
I was already too much afraid and nervous that I totally forgot what I was doing here but then realization struck me and I just showed him the brownie which still had the last bit of candle burning.

Louis’ expression totally changed as he saw the muffin and the candle burning. His eyes automatically started shinning and he looked at me with awe. His face now carried a wide nd bright smile though that little frown on his forehead told me that I didn’t have to do all this for him.

I whispered again, “happy birthday Louis”. And then I realized why was I still whispering? I could talk loudly. I cleared my throat and wished him again loudly. , “happy birthdayyyy Louis”

His face lit up again and he looked so cute and adorable and beautiful and pretty and just like a princess. He didn’t have to say another word coz his face told me everything and how happy and glad and dear he was feeling right now.

“thank you ha\arry..thankyou so much, this is what you’ve been doing all the time?” he xclaimed.

“c’mon m not hearing all this, blow the candle off or it’ll blow off itself, just the last bit left” I tell him as the last bit was just about to melt . “but before that make a quick wish..quick quick quick“

“okay—“ he says and chuckled as he closes his eyes makes a wish opens his eyes smiles at me and blows off the candle and I clapped like a 5 year old as I sang the happy birthday anthem.

I take out the candle from the cake(not to forget it’s a muffin) and took the little thing closer to Louis’ mouth to let him take a bite.

“how does it taste? I made like tonite!” I was so curious to know.
As he was chewing and munching with every bite his expression changed and I just wished it was not bad as compared to the expressions.

“its good its good..” he says in between, “you can have it too” he gestures.
I take a bite still staring at Louis because with the expressions he gave me wouldn’t make me believe it was good.

As I munched and chewed and realized that it was not good but not that bad too.

“how did you swallow that crap muffin?” I asked him coz I really messed up the whole thing.
He chuckled and smiled and said “it wasn’t good but it wasn’t bad”

“ew..its just bad” I made a weird sound at the end sentence which ended both of us laughing hard.

“but harry seriously your so kind” he continued as his face now had a subtle expression.

“Its okay” I say as I rolled my eyes giving an expression of ‘I don’t care’ but then I smiled.

He got a bit hyper as he began to say “you know what? my mum never let me celebrate my birthday on my birthday, it was like always tomorrow. She always says like ‘you’re a gift of god, almighty jesus, so we’ll celebrate your birthday on Christmas”

“well, she isn’t wrong anyway” I comment on what his mum said about, he probably was a god’s gift.

“I know that now that I’m 23 years old,” he rolled his eyes , “okay and then I always ended up celebrating it tom.”

“but what about you’re friends in school?” I ask him.

“that is what is the twist, when my family was done wishing me in the night, everybody was like go to sleep got to sleep, its gonna be a busy day tom coz its christmas’ eve, and when everybody dozed off nearly 2 a.m I would sneek out to my friends backyard, which was just half a mile away from my house..and we would scream and shout there” he looked so happy when he told me.

“oh my god, you never got beaten up for that?” I asked him as I take a place beside Louis as my back leaned against the bed and my legs were stretched in front.

”my mum still never knows, and guess what ?” he asks me excited.

“what ?” I repeated.

“this happened everytime one of our friends birthday was to arrive coz none of our mums ever allowed us”

“something interesting I’m hearing” I commented.

“and I guess you’ve always celebrated your birthday in a pish posh and hush hush style?” he asked me as his head turned toward me.

“as for you, you can say that”

“don’t make me jealous” he grinned.

“I wasn’t anyway”

“wait, its supposed to be called Richie rich style? Am I right or am I right?” he chuckled as he continued.

“you’re always right Louis”I tell him smiling which turned into a chuckle.

“you must have a golden knife, a golden candle, and I guess a 10 tier cake with edible pearls and rubies stuck on it?”

“how were you able to guess it?” I asked him surprised.

“REALLY?? That is the way you celebrate it?” he sounded so shocked at himself.
“no “ I nodded..

“I mean are you serious??” he was still shocked.

“yessss “ I nodded again.

“you seriously are the royal beauty” he says as he slaps his forehead.
I chuckled at what he called me, “why do you keep giving me so weird names all the time?”

“these are not weird, you totally deserve being called a Richie rich, the royal beauty, and one more I made it like yesterday.”

“what is it? I ask him.

“HAZZA CURLY MCHAZZAMAN!” he sshouted.

“and can I know what it means?” I ask him coz that sounded so weird.

“no seriously I don’t know that, it just came up in my head when zayn called you curly” he smoldered as he finished his sentence.

“sounds cool thanx.” I say as I chuckled.

After that we both sat there in complete silence for a while until I heard Louis snoring again.

Does he really live in this world ?i mean with the amount of happiness inside him makes me think that howcome somebody still finds a place to smile and live for the moment. my thoughts occupied him as I slowly shifted away from him but something caught me. I couldn’t pull it back coz the hold was too tight and when my glance shifted to my hand there was another hand holding onto it. Tightly. It was louis’ little hand which held onto it tightly and it made me smile and nothing else.

I shifted closer to him again as to not break the connection. I liked it. It started making me feel like finally I could be dependent on somebody for the rest of my life.

I actually belonged somewhere.I actually belonged to someone

Notes

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