-Sarah-

I stood there. Frozen. Not ably to move a single muscle or talk back at her as Emily and Harry walked away and got inside the car. How did she know? How could she say that in front of Harry? How could she just walk away like that? She was right though. I was being a hypocrite. The thing is, I never intended for this to happen. She on the other hand, was down right pursuing trouble. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and decided not to think more about this tonight. I’d had way too much to drink. However, all I wanted right now was more drinks. I wanted to forget these last five minutes ever took place.

Then, I heard someone lightly chough behind me, making me jump. I turned around only to be met with a pair of two blue innocent eyes. Niall. “Is it true?” was all he said with a stern and sad voice. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. “Did you and Ashton sleep together?”

I take it back. Please, for the love of god! I want to forget that this whole trip to London ever took place. How could I be so naive to think that this trip would actually be fun?

“What? No. Why would you think that?” I said as I looked down at my feet, trying to act innocent. Clearly, this had no effect on Niall. He was not buying it.

“Sarah. I heard the whole conversation,” was his answer. I didn’t know what to say. I was mad, that’s for sure. Not at Niall. Not even at Emily. I was more upset with myself for getting into this whole mess. But in-between my own anger and self-pity, I found it okay to blame everyone else out of frustration. Maybe this was due to all the alcohol I had consumed earlier, but right now I didn’t really care. All I could think about was how Emily should’ve kept this to herself and how Niall had no right to listen to our conversation.

I found myself walking passed Niall, towards the house again. I really didn’t want to talk about this. Not now. Not ever.

“So you’re just going to leave without explaining?” Niall went on from behind. It wasn’t hard to tell that he was disappointed with me. But honestly, what did he expect? I know that we were now good friends, but I didn’t even tell my two best friends, so how could he be mad at me for excluding him?

“What is there to explain?” I snapped at him whilst I turned around in my heels. “So what if it happened? I just didn’t want the whole world to know. And now thanks to Emily, everyone knows! Why do you care anyway?” I continued not thinking my words through. It wasn’t right to be mad at everyone, but I just couldn’t help myself.

“I… I… I’m not going to tell anyone, I just…” Niall said before he frowned at me whilst continuing. “ D‘you know what? I don’t care! I don’t care that you two slept together. I don’t care that neither of you thought about how this would make others feel, and I certainly don’t care if the whole world finds out. You two deserve each other. You’re not the person I thought you were.” Niall looked like he was the one upset now, and after he had finished his insults, he stormed off.

I didn’t even bother to go after him or see where he went. His words hurt too much. I stood in the driveway alone in the dark. This was exactly why I didn’t want anyone to know about this. Everyone would think differently about me, and what I did was just… so not me. I was drunk and don’t even remember what happened. Of course, I know that’s no excuse. It didn’t even matter now. Because now, there was nothing I could say or do to make things right. What did he even mean when he spoke about others feelings? “Oh no…” I turned around to search for Niall. “Niall! Wait! Please,” I said as I continued to search the area. I was so stupid. How could I be so blind? How did I not see this? I needed to tell him the whole story of that night, but it was too late. Niall was gone.

---

-Harry-

“Can I get you anything? A drink? Tea?” I asked as I removed my shoes and jacket. We had stayed silent during the whole car ride back home from Niall’s place. I could tell that Emily was upset, but at the same time I had no idea what had just happened. I didn’t know what to say. Why was Sarah so against the thought of Emily and me? Of course I know that the lying was bad, but she had no reason to get so upset. It really was none of her business. She didn’t run Emily. The fact that she didn’t say a word to me after we left was the main reason to why I didn’t say anything. What if she actually began to agree with Sarah?

“A tea would be nice,” Emily said, speaking for the first time and giving me a tiny smile.

“Coming right up!” She followed me into the kitchen and sat down while I put the kettle on. Okay, this silence was killing me. I needed to say something. “Are you okay?”

“Hmm? Yeah… Just a little tired,” she said before she met my frowning eyes. “Okay, so I’m just not that used to having this big argument with any of my friends. I feel bad,” she continued finally admitting what was on her mind.

“Why do you feel bad? You haven’t done anything wrong, remember?”

“Yeah, I know. You’re right,” she said giving me a half smile.

“I am right. Please stop feeling bad about this. I’m sure the two of you will talk it through tomorrow,” I said as I pored the boiling water into the two teacups and handing one to her.

“Thanks,” she said smiling.

“Are you sure that’s the only thing on your mind?” I asked, thinking of how she might have changed her mind about us. Whatever this was.

“Yeah, why?”

“No reason,” I lied.

“Okay. Well, let’s forget about all this drama for tonight then, shall we?” she said as she put her teacup down. There was a sudden mood change and I must say, I liked where this was going. Her eyes met mine and I suddenly felt my blood pumping faster.

“I agree,” I said as I stood up from the chair next to her. “Are you tired?”

Emily shook her head no still looking me in the eyes.

“Good, me neither,” I said moving closer. “So, what do you want to do?”

“What is there to do?” she asked back giving me a cheeky smile. My arms found their way around her waist while she placed her hands on my chest.

“Uhm,” oh God, think Harry. “We could watch a film if you want?” Why did I just say that? That wasn’t what I really had in mind. “Or we could just sit and listen to some music?” Am I really that bad at words? “If you’re hungry, I can make some food?” Why couldn’t I just tell her what I wanted to do? “I don’t know, you pick,” I continued aware of how close her lips were mine. I licked my lips and noticed how fast we were breathing. It felt like everything was in slow-motion. My arms around her waist moved her closer to me, finally signalizing what I really wanted to do. As Emily moved closer, her eyes flickered between my eyes and my mouth. That’s when I knew that she wanted the same. I lifted my right hand and placed it under her cheek. I moved closer so that there was no space left between us, feeling a tingling feeling shoot through my whole body. The suspense was killing me. Suddenly her lips brushed against mine - the smell and taste of her becoming too much. I crashed my lips to hers and immediately her lips began to move in sync with mine.

We stood like this for a few minutes before we stopped up for air. As I tried to catch my breath I looked down at her beautiful face and smiled. She returned the smile once she saw my stares. “What are you looking at?” she said frowning.

“You,” I said still smiling. I liked it when it was just the two of us. I meant that I could be myself and not have to worry about the rest of the world. Being with her was easy.

“It’s weird.” There she goes and tries to ruin the mood. “Sorry,” she continued chuckling.

“Why is that?” I said continuing to smile.

“I don’t know.” She looked away for a moment deep in thought. I would love to hear what she was thinking right now. “Harry?” she said almost in a whisper as her eyes locked with mine again.

“Yes?”

“What are we doing?” Her question was not at all what I was expecting.

“Uhm, I think we were kissing in my kitchen,” I said amused. What was she on about?

She chuckled slightly. “I’m aware of that. I meant, what are we really doing?” Her humor was all gone as she now looked at me with curious eyes.

“What do you mean?” I said frowning down at her.

“I don’t know. It’s just… I can’t help feel like we shouldn’t be doing this,” she went on.

I thought about it for a moment. “Well you’re right, because we shouldn’t be doing this,” I said after thinking it through. It’s true. I knew that I had strict rules to live by, and this here right now was me breaking one. I looked down at Emily and saw her confused expression. She tried to take a step back, but I stopped her. “But I like you, Em. You know I do,” I continued. “I told you, remember?” Seems like such a long time ago since I slept on her couch after looking for her all night and ending up on her porch.

She looked down, her cheeks blushing red. “But why then?” she said looking up again. “Why are we hiding from our friends?”

I stayed silent. I knew what was about to come.

“Is this about you not being aloud to see anyone?” she said looking me in the eyes. There it was. I knew she wouldn’t let it go. Not that I could blame her. I only gave her a little sad smile confirming her question. “I don’t get it… Look, I just don’t feel like hiding anything from the girls anymore… well, at least without some sort of an explanation.”

I sighed finally giving in. I knew she deserved to know. I had caused so much drama between Em and her friends. But I had never told anyone about this before. Ever. Why did I feel like should I tell her out of all people? I couldn’t tell her. However if I didn’t, this might be enough for her to walk away. And I really didn’t want that. But could I trust her? I only met her just about over a month ago. “I’m not supposed to tell anyone,” I said still debating in my mind if I should or not.

“I know, I’m sorry. It’s just…” she began before I cut in.

“No, don’t be sorry. Of course you’d want to ask. You deserve to know,” I said, sighing at the end. I ran my fingers through my hair, thinking. “If I tell you,”

“I won’t tell anyone. You know I wouldn’t, Harry.” Even though I have no idea why, she’s right. I knew she wouldn’t tell anyone, and I knew she wouldn’t lie to me. A few seconds passed of utter silence.

“I don’t know how to put this… Okay, so remember when I talked about how my dating life is always covered in magazines and stuff?” I said as we walked over to the couch in the living room. She sat down on the other side of the couch, leaving a good meter between us. “You can come closer you know? I won’t bite,” I said giving her a smile that she only returned. I patted the spot next to me for her to sit. She complied and swung her legs across my thighs so that she was half sitting on my lap. “Okay, so ever since the X-factor days, the media always took a keen interest in who I was seeing and who I was dating. Our management can control a lot of what comes out in the media and they told me at the time that this stuff was only good for business. You know, all publicity is good publicity?” I said, unsure if I was making any sense. Emily didn’t speak a word, but I knew she was listening. “Well, over the years a lot of what has been written and said about me have been lies. At first I didn’t give it much thought, I thought it just came with the spotlight. But then,” I began looking down at Em as she started playing with me hands. “Then I began to question where all these stories came from. So I spoke with our management one day, hoping they could help, but it turned out that it had been them all along.” I wasn’t able to hide my sour face.

Emily looked up at me with a disgusted face. “Wait, so your management are the one telling the lies? That’s awful,” she said looking away.

“It gets better,” I said raising my eyebrows. “One day after I tried to stay low and avoid any crazy rumors spreading, my management called me in for a meeting. They told me of how important my appearance was for business and how all this publicity was only good for the band. And I believed them,” I said shaking my head. “So I signed this stupid contract, agreeing to letting them giving me advice and have a say in my dating life. I mean, it’s true, the publicity is good for the band, but I just hate how it’s always over my head.”

“And you never told anyone?” she said confused.

“No, that was part of the contract. I can’t tell anyone - especially not the boys.”

“Why not? I mean, aren’t you guys supposed to be working together?”

“We are, but I think the management knew that the boys wouldn’t let me sign if they knew about it. And they would probably be right too. But I didn’t think much of it. I only thought that if this could help the band, it couldn’t be that bad.” I gave her a fake smile, not sure of what to say next.

“I still down get it though. Are they allowed to tell you who you can and cannot date, is that it?”

“That’s the deal. However, they still print stories that aren’t at all true. But yeah, for the most part, they tell me who to be seen with, who to take out and when to stay low.” Saying all these things out loud for the first time felt good. Through the years I didn’t mind the contract so much, it was more the fact that I couldn’t tell anyone.

“And now they’re telling you to stay low?” Emily said finally catching on. I nodded in agreement. “And you’re okay with all this?” Good question.

“I was. I still am to some extent. I mean I know it’s all part of the business. It just sucks that’s all,” I said fidgeting with my hands.

“So what happens if you don’t do as they say?”

“It would be really bad for band and it would be a breach of contract on my behalf,” I said not sure if I should elaborate more. I wasn’t too sure myself. I just knew that as long as it had a negative affect on the other guys, I would keep doing as I was told. Simple as that.

Emily didn’t say much. It looked like she was deep in thought. I ran running my fingers thought her hair making her look up at me. “So, what are we doing?” she asked me again.

I sighed giving her a small smile. “Bending the rules?”

She didn’t look too convinced by my answer. “Maybe we should stop this,” she said getting up from her seat.

“What? Why?” I said doing the exact same thing.

“You just told me why, Harry.”

“I know, but technically, we’re not breaking any rules as long as no one knows,” I said hoping she would understand, but it didn’t look like she did.

“But what if someone does find out? I mean, the girls already know. Sarah knows. What if the guys find out? What then?” she said backing away.

“I know. We just have to make them think there’s nothing going on,” I said trying to convince her.

“And keep lying, you mean?” she said now frowning. I looked down at my feet not sure of what to say next. “I can’t do that. I don’t want to,” she said now shaking her head.

“I understand that, but I don’t know what else to do,” I said pleading. I was beginning to think I was loosing her.

“I do. We have to stop,” Emily said hesitating. “What ever this is.” She looked upset. Great. Just fucking great, Harry. There was no way she would agree to this whole thing, and she just confirmed that.

“And how do you suppose we do that?” I said frowning at her. Was this what she really wanted?

“I don’t know, Harry” she sighed.

I stepped closer to her so that we were standing inches apart. “Should we stop seeing each other?” I said as I placed my hand on her waist again. “We both know that’s not going to happen as long as our friends keep seeing each other.” Emily looked away, trying to ignore my stares. “Stop talking to each other?” I said, placing my hand under her chin, lifting it, so she was looking at me again. “I have never told anyone of what I just told you,” I continued drifting off.

Emily looked me in the eyes. “I don’t know, Harry. Maybe it’s best if we just keep it friendly.”

I knew she was right. That would be the best thing to do, the right thing to do. “So what happens if we’re friends and we’re all alone?” I said leaning in closer. “I can’t pretend like I don’t want this.” She heart was racing, I could feel it once our lips brushed against one another. “Can you pretend like you don’t what to kiss me right now?” I kept brushing my lips against hers, breathing into her mouth. After a few seconds I stopped speaking. Instead I leaned in and kissed her. A second passed before she gave in, and it felt like it was our first kiss all over again. But it was different. Like we knew that there was no point in fighting against it. I broke her kiss and looked down at her. She had her eyes closed.

“Harry…” she whispered with her eyes still closed.

“I can’t be your friend, Em.”

A few seconds more of utter silence passed before she finally opened her eyes and looked at me. I kept searching them, hoping to see some sort of sign that she agreed to this. Instead she took a step back and left me standing. “Then I should go.”

She turned around and started walking towards the hallway, while I stood frozen, not able to say a word.

Notes

So... What do you think? Too much drama? Is Emily doing the right thing?

Let me know, and please comment, vote and subscribe! :) xo