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Letters of Love

I love you and always will.

Analeigh,

I miss you.

I wish that I had made more of an effort to keep you here in Holmes Chapel where you knew everyone and had people who loved you. Every night that you were gone I asked myself where were you; were you safe; were you even alive. I couldn’t focus on recording and I was always up till dawn searching the internet for hints of you.The band’s worried for me I guess. I always wanted to write you back after I found your letter. I guess now is better than never. I never once regret walking up to you and saying something or even staying with you when you were sick, that thought never even crossed my mind.

I loved the way your brown eyes lit up when you mentioned your family or art. I knew that you were gonna be something special to me even if we were just friends. Taking you to meet my family and bandmates gave me both nerves and confidence that you were the one for me. You didn't care about the fame the band gave me or that you weren't one of those girls that used me for fame or fortune. You loved every aspect of me from my eyes and dimples that truly showed when I was happy; to the love of all hipster things. You called me silly when I came home with a new tattoo on my arm even though you couldn't say anything because of your full shoulder piece.

The thought of losing you never crossed my mind till the day that we took you to the doctor. 3 weeks went by and still no results. That's when I realized this was worse than just a pregnancy. You were really sick and when you told me it confirmed my worse fear that I would eventually lose you to a disease that I knew I couldn't fix. I stayed up nights trying to figure out more on your cancer and I knew that you thought it was consuming me. I just didn't want to lose you.

Yesterday Niall’s brother Greg had called me from his place up in Ireland and told me about you. I could hear sobs in the background from Niall and I knew that you lost. Oh Analeigh, how I wish I was there to hold you before you passed. To tell you that I could never replace you in my heart; that a skinny model would never hold the conversations that we held in the privacy of my flat. In three days is your funeral. I can’t bear to go; The boys will have to go and give my condolences to your parents. Your parents want to meet me before they leave, they want to get to know the man who made their daughter happy before she died.

I don't know how to end this so I guess I love you and always will.

Harry October 14th, 2012

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