In And Out Of Love

I could see from Harry’s face he was just as shocked as I had been when Theo told me about Naomi and what she had done last night. I could feel his hand squeezing my thigh every now and then when he was taken a little off guard. He was looking at Theo the whole time, studying his face carefully and probably deciding if he was telling the truth or exaggerating things.

“That doesn’t sound anything like her. Like really. But when you’re high, you probably become someone else a lot easier as well. She probably wouldn’t do stuff like that sober. She can’t be doing stuff like that in the first place.” Harry said after Theo had finished talking. He looked down to his lap, shaking his head so his curly hair swayed from side to side a little.

“So horrible. And it kind of sounds like she is taking some serious drugs. Not that pot isn’t serious, but I don’t think it makes you go all crazy so you start stripping to other people. I’m seriously a little afraid for her, especially if there are some harder drugs involved. They cost money and I’m just thinking where is she getting it.” I said aloud what I had been thinking in my head ever since Theo told me about her.

“Oh, it definitely wasn’t pot. Hey, wait up. Max is calling me.” Theo said with a surprised look on his face as Naomi’s on and off boyfriend called him. He got up and went outside to talk with him.

“Sounds awful, really. I feel bad for her, she shouldn’t be doing stupid shit like that. No one should. And she has the most amazing friends in the world if she would just open her eyes.” Harry said and sounded almost angry.

“I know. She’s just a bit lost, I guess. She really needs her friends right now, that’s for sure. And I’m going to be there for her, even if she wouldn’t like it. I just… I need to do this on my own. So if I have to go and meet her there, at Michelle’s place or whatever, you can’t come with me. Are you okay with that?” I asked Harry and placed my hand on his shoulder.

“You mean you would go there, to some fucked up party and see her there? You know I won’t let you do that. Who knows what kind of people they really are? Do you think I could ever live with myself if I let you go and something happened to you? No way.” Harry said, definitely angry this time and took his hand off my thigh.

“Harry… I have to see her and help her. But she can’t see us together. I’m just afraid it might be too much for her to handle. I might be wrong here and all of this is happening because of something totally else, but if this is because of me or you or us, then we can’t go together. You have to understand.” I said and tried to sit a bit closer and calm him down.

“I heard enough from Theo. Even he was a little scared about going there in the first place. Think about you then. She practically hates every one of us and you probably the most. She might really go crazy this time and do something. This isn’t some fantasy where everything just magically works out and people forgive one another and everything’s pretty again. Sorry, but you’re not going alone.” Harry said firmly and took a long look at me to show he really meant it.

“Well… I understand you. And it’s good to be aware that bad things can happen. And you’re absolutely right, she probably hates everything about me. But still, she is like a sister to me. She will always be. Nothing can change that.” I said calmingly. “I don’t have to go alone. Theo will come with me. It’s going to go fine. Besides, we can’t assume she is always partying. Maybe we can see her at her home!” I realized we had just been thinking about the worst scenarios without even thinking she probably did spend some time home too. She had to.

“Yeah… you’re right. But you and Theo, I don’t like that. You know I don’t like that idea. He had a major crush on you after all. Probably still does. I don’ know… I just hope there’s some other way for you to see her.” Harry said and looked out of the window. I could see he was not happy about me being alone with Theo. I couldn’t help but feel a little good he was so jealous of him. But this was not the right time or place to think about stupid and insignificant things like that.

Theo came inside soon after and came to sit opposite Harry and me. His face was still serious as he started talking.

“Max called and asked about last night and how things had went. He said they were supposed to see with Naomi today but she didn’t show up at his place. He has no idea where she is right now but he promised to keep me posted if anything comes up. And um… he said she is definitely experimenting with some harder drugs these days.” Theo almost whispered and lowered his head more towards us.

“Oh god… how did things get so out of hand in just a few months? I seriously don’t know this person at all. What do you think we should do now?” I shook my head and felt a little scared inside. I had known her my whole life and just a few months ago, she was still my best friend. I needed to save her from herself.

“I seriously don’t know. I mean, she took everything quite bad. You know, you two. She hated seeing you together and she felt like you betrayed her or something. But it got a little out of hand even back then. I tried to tell her to calm down and not blame you for everything. And you two never really dated.” He said and looked now at Harry who nodded at him. “But she wouldn’t listen. It was like she had some crazy fixation about you two.” He continued as me and Harry listened to him horrified.

“I don’t know what to say. I don’t even understand how any of this is possible in a normal world.” I said and looked at Harry who was looking down to his lap again.

“Listen… We obviously both want to help her. Harry, you need to stay away from her, okay?” Theo asked to which Harry nodded again. “Good. Gracie, let’s wait until the end of next week. After that, we still have one week of school and she basically can’t totally disappear before summer holiday. She knows she will be in deep trouble if she won’t show up to school again next week since she skipped this week completely. Deal?”

“Sounds alright, deal. I really, really hope she will show up.” We all sat there looking at each other for a little while. I checked my phone and noticed how the time had gone by fast and it was already getting near 10pm. “Let’s go home. I’ll see you at school Theo. Thanks for talking to me. We’re going to make things right. I’m sure of that.” I said and tried to smile a little as I got up from the chair.

“Absolutely. Thanks for listening. The both of you. See you guys on Monday.” Theo smiled back and threw his leather jacket on and walked out of the coffee shop with us. Harry and I waved him bye as he drove off.

“Do you want to come over tonight?” Harry asked as we were left together outside. I could tell he was feeling awkward from everything and he was acting different towards me.

“I’d love to. You okay?” I asked and wrapped my hands around his waist and pulled him closer. Thankfully, he didn’t hesitate.

“I’m okay. I just… I guess I’m a little jealous. There you go, I said it out loud. And it feels silly, because there are much bigger things to think about right now than something like that. Sorry if I was a little rude to you. Didn’t mean it.” Harry responded and kissed my forehead lightly.

“I could see that and I just want you to know you have nothing to worry about. I love you.”

“I love you too Gracie.” Harry finally smiled a little.

I drove back home, Harry following me with his car, and went inside to grab some of my stuff. Mom was watching telly in the living room and yelled hi to me as I ran upstairs. I stuffed my night gear and a clean shirt for tomorrow inside a bigger bag and headed back downstairs.

“Mom, I’m going over to Harry’s. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” I said, a little out of breath from all the hurrying.

“Wait, what? So, is it going to be like this from now on? You two will be together like an old couple and I never see you again?” Mom asked, obviously joking although I could hear bit of truth from her voice.

“Mom! You know that’s not true. You see me every day. I love you, don’t stay up too late.” I smiled and gave her a hug.

I walked over to Harry’s car and opened the passenger door and sat in. His perfume lingered inside the car as usual and I inhaled the familiar scent happily. I just wanted to feel him close to me and for him to hold me in his arms. This evening had been horrible and I still needed time to process everything I had heard. And as of now, I was just thinking about the worst possible options on why everything had happened and it just made my heart beat even faster. I needed to give it a few days and try to think more sensibly about things.

“Wow, looks like mom’s already sleeping. Let’s be quiet. Gemma’s not home, she’s staying with a friend. Let me get that for you.” Harry said and took the bag from my hand.

We stepped inside and went to Harry’s bedroom as silently as possible. Harry’s mom was already used to seeing us there and spending nights together so we didn’t have to worry about that. Harry put on the lights in his room and put my bag on his bed. He stretched his arms up in the air and made a cute sleepy face to me.

“I just want to get out of these jeans, under the blanket and have you next to me.” He said and walked over to me.

“I want that too babe.”

“But I’m just so hungry, aren’t you?” He said, teasing me.

“What? Way to kill the romance.” I chuckled and punched his chest lightly.

“Ouch! I was going to make you a sandwich as well but I don’t know any more.” He grinned and looked like he was thinking hard.

“You better make that sandwich!” I laughed and he joined me. He kissed my cheek before he went downstairs to the kitchen.

I changed into a t-shirt and boxers and folded my clothes neatly and put them inside the bag. I took the cover bedding off from Harry’s bed and hopped under the blanket and laid on my back, gazing at the ceiling.

My mind started wondering about Naomi right away and I left out a tired sigh. I wondered if she would show up to school on Monday. And I wondered what would happen when I confronted her eventually. Would she yell? Probably. Would she be aggressive? Definitely. Would she try to hit me? I really hoped not.

“Here you go ma’am.” Harry came back to the bedroom and offered me a plate with a huge and delicious looking sandwich.

“Well thank you! This looks really good.” I smiled at him, got up and took the plate from his hand. He went to close the bedroom door and came to sit next to me on the bed. We both had obviously been hungry since it took us only a few minutes to finish the sandwiches.

Harry took the plates and put them to his desk, removed all of his clothes except his boxers and went to turn off the lights. I held the blanket up for him and he snuggled close to me, wrapping his arm around me tightly.

“Just know that you are a great friend and if she doesn’t appreciate it, you have to let go. She can’t drag you with her if she doesn’t want to be saved. I don’t want anything to happen to you during the whole ordeal. Promise me you will walk away if it’s the only way?” Harry whispered and softly brushed his fingers over my lower back.

“I… I promise.” I loved how much he cared about me. “I love you Harry. I love you very much.” I whispered and placed my hand to his waist.

“I love you the most.”

Notes

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