In And Out Of Love

Harry followed me to the kitchen, not sure what to do. I could see Naomi outside, eyeing Harry's car and looking like she couldn't believe what she saw. My heart beat faster than I could think and it only made me more anxious. I turned around to face Harry, who was holding his head.

"What was her face like? Was she angry?" Harry asked quietly, obviously worried Naomi could hear him.

"She didn't look happy... Kind of astonished. Not in a good way. Shit, shit, shit..." I hissed. Why was it impossible for me and Harry to have one evening together, where nothing out of the ordinary happened? The doorbell rang. "I have to open the door. Go upstairs, she doesn't need to face you." I said quickly.

"Right, that's good. Good luck... Just remember I love you." Harry said and kissed my cheek before he ran upstairs and disappeared to my room. There was never a moment when he didn't pay attention to me. Not even in a moment like this. I smiled at him and mouthed 'I love you too' silently.

Naomi was already banging the door since I didn't open it right after she rang the doorbell. I took a deep breath and decided this was the time to tell her everything. No matter how it went. I opened the door. She had a really weird look on her face, not something I had seen before.

"You don't answer your phone and you don't call me back. I come here to see if everything's alright and I find Harry's car parked here. Do you care to explain?" She said slowly but had a very cold tone to her voice.

"I know, I'm so sorry. I think we better go outside and talk." I said apologetically and grabbed my jean jacket and keys. I tried to step outside but Naomi didn't move from the doorstep.

"Is he here?" Naomi continued and her now angry look towered over me.

"We really need to talk. Let's go to the park." I said quietly. I felt like crying. I had a bad feeling about how things would go with her.

Naomi didn't say a word, she just walked over to her car. When she didn't drive off, I followed her and went to sit on the passenger seat in the front. She started the car and drove us to the park, where I had just been with Harry. Me and Naomi used to hang out there a lot more a few years ago when we were younger. I never thought I would have to have a conversation like this with her in our favourite childhood place.

She banged her car door shut very loudly once we reached the park, obviously fuming with anger. How was I supposed to start this conversation? Just blurt out that me and Harry were together and in love. Or try to make it look like a smaller deal than it really was, just to make it a little bit easier for her. I felt hot and cold at the same time, almost as if I had a fever.

Naomi didn't look at me, she just walked straight towards the nearest park bench and sat down. She grabbed a pack of cigarettes from her pocket and lit one up. She took a drag and blew the smoke out slowly. I walked over to her, my hands in my pockets. I wanted to tell her to quit acting the way she did and just talk with me and act like an adult. But then again, she really had liked Harry.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you back. I should've. Did Max spend the night at your house?" I started talking to her. My opening line was almost as bad as talking about weather.

"Yes, you should've. And now, you probably wish you did call me back so I hadn't shown up to your house. And now, we're here for a reason. I don't want to talk about Max. What is Harry doing at your house? Is Liam there too?" She looked straight into my eyes, that one question burning in her eyes.

"No, Liam's not there. Just Harry. I wanted to tell you before... Way before... But..."

"How long before? Has this been going on for long then? Is that what you're saying?" Naomi cut me short.

"A little over a month... Not that long..."

"Not long? You're kidding. You have been absolutely lying to me the whole time. Worse yet, you've actually put a lot of effort in this whole thing, keeping everything a secret. I can not believe you... How can you do something like this?" Naomi raised her voice, obviously very hurt.

"Naomi, please... It wasn't easy to tell you. And I meant to tell you everything next week, I swear. I hated lying to you. But I didn't think the time was right... I've been waiting for the right moment." I explained. Naomi finished her cigarette, dropped it to the ground and continued.

"Over a month then? So... You mean you started dating him right after me? You got some nerve, you know..." She was shaking her head, looking towards the silent lake.

"The whole thing has been so very complicated, please try to understand. I know it was very wrong not to tell you right from the beginning, but it just didn't feel right. I know you really liked him, but..."

"Yes, you knew that! But it didn't stop you to fool around with him, did it? Have you ever heard of a 'bro-code', meaning don't mess around with your friends' exes?" She was now pretty much yelling.

"I was about to say that you went out with him two times. Two times, Naomi. I'm sorry but it's not exactly dating. And I know about the code, but we just really hit it off with him. I really like him. No... I'm in love with him." I said quietly.

"Good for you then. I'm sure you will be very happy together, plotting your future secrets together. I never ever imagined you would be capable of doing something this shitty. Thanks a lot." She said sarcastically, an evil smile on her lips.

"I never planned falling in love with him or getting along with him the way we do. It just happened. Trust me, I tried to keep him out of my mind and reason with myself and the whole world. I don't want to lose you. You know I love you and you're like a sister to me. I really honestly hope we can work this out and understand each other. I'm so sorry, I never ever meant to hurt you in any way, not in purpose." I sat down next to her and placed my hand over her shoulder.

"Ha... Really Grace? You know what? Fuck you and your apology." She said fuming, got up and ran back to her car. She drove off soon after and left me at the park.

I watched her taillights disappear and let the build up tears fall down. I knew it was not going to be easy with her and that she would get angry. But still, I had a little bit of hope inside me that we would end this conversation a little better than we now had. I was afraid I had lost her for good.

I started walking back home as I wanted to have a few minutes to myself before telling Harry what had happened with Naomi. The more I thought about the whole thing, the sadder I felt. No matter what, Naomi had been my best friend for years and years. I knew more about her than anyone else, I knew what made her laugh and what made her cry. I knew she wasn't always the confident girl everybody else thought she was. And she knew me. She knew me better than my mom.

The tears were falling down harder the more I thought about her and about us. Was I really going to be that girl, who sacrifices her best friend for a boy? It didn't sound anything like me. Technically, on paper, if someone asked me would I be that girl, I would have answered 'no'. Maybe she was never going to forgive me, who knew. Even if she did, we might never get back our real friendship and everything that made it perfect.

I glanced at my phone, hoping to see a text from Naomi. But no, there was only a text from Harry. I didn't even care to read it, nothing mattered at this point. I had betrayed my best friend, hurt her and lied to her. I didn't know if anything would have been different in the first place, if I had told her about me liking Harry over a month ago. She would have been furious either way, but at least I would have understood to back off and keep my friendship with her alive instead of falling in love with Harry.

I had walked slowly towards our house but still reached our front yard faster I had wanted to. It only meant I had to face Harry, tell him what had happened and... what I wanted from now on. Naomi was never going to accept us being together.

As Harry saw me coming closer to the front door, he opened it for me before I had the chance to grab my keys from my pocket. He had a sad and worried look on his face as he welcomed me with open arms.

"I could have picked you up, you know. Are you alright?" He said quietly and wrapped me inside his arms. I closed my eyes, tears appearing once again and welcomed his chest against my cheek. His hugs always felt very protective, especially now.

"No, I'm not alright. I don't know, what's going to happen." I sobbed and his shirt got a bit wet from my tears.

"Sssh... No matter what, things will turn out fine. Just give it time." Harry soothed and rocked me back and forth slowly, his chin on top of my head.

"No, they won't. She was furious. Not anything like before. She won't forgive. This is never going to work." I cried harder as I said the last sentence.

"This will work, it's up to us. She will come around." Harry continued, but this time looked to my eyes.

"No Harry. This will never work. There is too much drama around us. It's too complicated. I can't lose her... I really can't." I stepped away from Harry's hold and shook my head, tears falling hard.

I could see hurt and disbelief appearing to his beautiful eyes.

Notes

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