In And Out Of Love

My mind was too quick to make its own conclusions after I saw Niall holding a guitar. I was almost shocked to realize that Liam was actually playing the keyboards and he was the one, who started the song. He never played keyboards or piano in public. Sure, he was okay at it and I had taught him from time to time when he was in the mood for learning.

“Oh my god. Liam just got even cuter. Did you know he could play?” Naomi whispered to my ear and sounded surprised.

“Not in this scale, no.” I managed to say, in awe. I came back to reality after a few seconds and turned my head towards Harry, who had a sweet and caring look in his eyes as he was looking back at me. I smiled at him, hoping no one would pay attention to our loving stares.

"People say we shouldn’t be together, too young to know about forever. But I say, they don’t know what they’re talk talk talking about." Liam started singing while playing the keyboards and Niall joined in with his guitar shortly after. I liked the melody already.

"Cause this love is only getting stronger, so I don’t wanna wait any longer. I just wanna tell the world that you’re mine girl." Harry continued and the idea behind the song was starting to unravel quickly. He sounded soulful and looked at me. For a second, his eyes were almost piercing through mine and I got a funny feeling inside me.

“It’s almost as if he sings directly to you. He is very comfortable performing, just look at him go!" Naomi said and I snapped from my little paradise. Oh no no no, I thought. I just looked at her and chuckled stupidly. Luckily, she didn’t make anything more of it.

"They don’t know about the things we do, they don’t know about the I love you’s. But I bet you if they only knew, they would just be jealous of us. They don’t know about the up all nights, they don’t know I’ve waited all my life, just to find a love that feels this right. Baby they don’t know about, they don’t know about us." Zayn sang the chorus so beautifully all of us girls were in total awe. I looked at Perrie, who had a huge and loving smile on her lips. She was obviously very proud of her handsome boyfriend and no one could blame her.

"One touch and I was a believer, every kiss gets a little sweeter." Niall chimed in.

"It's getting better, keeps getting better all the time girl." Harry sang and my heart melted even more.

Zayn took the boys back to the beautiful chorus. It became more and more obvious to me that the strong feelings Harry had for me had been there for a little while now. This song was definitely not made in one night, I thought. The 'up all nights' -part reminded me of the first night me and Harry were together, just the two of us. It was the very night after we had taken a drunken Naomi back to her house and we went to get some kebab. I knew I felt something for him even back then, no matter how I tried to reason and be fair towards Naomi. Maybe he had feelings back then too.

"They don't know how special you are, they don't know what you've done to my heart. They can say anything they want, cause they don't know us." Louis continued and looked lovingly at Eleanor who was beaming with love as well. What an insanely perfect love song this was! It really doesn't matter what anyone thinks if you love someone and they love you back. Suddenly, I was bursting with confidence and the need to tell Naomi what the deal was and that we were in love with Harry.

"They don't know what we do best, it's between me and you, our little secret." Niall sang softly with Zayn leading them again to the chorus, this time bigger than ever. I couldn't hold back my tears of joy any longer.

The whole room erupted with loud clapping and cheering when the boys finished the song. They acted all cool about it and like it was no big deal. But this was definitely one of their best songs so far and to think how little time they had been together as a band with Harry. They were all so adorable in their own ways and them being together made perfect sense. And there was Harry, chuckling and smiling, playing a little with his hair. He looked so genuinely surprised my tears fell down even faster. I wanted nothing more than to just welcome him with open arms and kiss his sweet face. I wiped the tears away as I saw Eleanor and Perrie walking up to Louis and Zayn, hugging and kissing them proudly.

I decided I was friend enough to do the same without it being weird or suspicious. What the hell, I thought and started to make my way towards the lads. First, I went up to Liam.

"When did you learn to play the keyboard like that? Not from me! That was amazing." I laughed and hugged him tight.

"I practiced a little in secret. This song is definitely quite something, pretty strong message. Don't you think?" Liam winked at me and smiled cheekily.

After Liam, I hugged Niall, Zayn and Louis. Finally, it was Harry's turn. His eyes were like two bright stars and he was smiling from ear to ear. In that moment, he reminded me of a little boy; playful and cute. To think he was mine made my head spin. I was glad no one saw my face because I just couldn't hide my true feelings for him. I wrapped my arms around him and felt his hands around my waist, holding me tightly.

"I love you. I just love you." I whispered to his ear. He was trying to get to eye-level with me but I kept my hands around him for a little longer. Before it was getting a little too long for a friendly hug, I let go of him and stepped back. He tried to say something but I shook my head quickly and he didn't have a chance to say anything before I was gone.

I didn't care what anybody thought about my behavior at that moment, I just had to get some space. I went straight to my room and shut the door before sitting on my bed. I felt like I needed to release the feelings that had built inside me in the last five minutes. I was smiling and crying at the same time, feeling extremely happy and taken aback. Was it even possible to love someone as much as I did this very moment? No one could ever top what Harry had just done, there was no way. I was wiping away tears again as my door slowly opened.

"Hey... Are you... Oh no, why are you crying? Babe, what's wrong?" Harry came in and shut the door quickly behind him as he saw my face. I wanted to ask if anyone had seen him coming upstairs but didn't want to start with that again. He kneeled down in front of me and put his hands to my shoulders, clearly worried.

"I'm fine. I just had to come here so I could let these tears out freely. I love you so much, please know that. That was... That song... So beautiful. You mean everything in it?" I asked in between crying quietly.

"Of course I did. I love you too and I have for a while now. You make me crazy in every possible way. And nothing inspires me more than you do. I could write songs about you every day." Harry said smiling softly and cupped my cheek.

I lifted my hand to his and kissed him deeply, tasting the tears in the kiss. Soon, we were both smiling and it felt funny to kiss like that so it made me smile even more. I wanted to be with him forever, no matter how crazy it sounded. No matter how young we were. No matter what anyone would say.

"I decided to tell Naomi about us. Not tonight but early next week. I also want to tell everyone that you are mine." I said smiling confidently, referring to the song.

"I'll support you in any possible way in that. I'm sure it will go fine. Think how much more fun we are going to have when we don't have to hide any longer. I can finally take you on a proper date!" Harry laughed and shook his head.

"Yes, you can and you will!" I joined him laughing.

We went back downstairs separately and joined everyone else as nothing had happened. Niall was playing the guitar and singing some funny country song while Liam was beat boxing next to him. No one seemed to have noticed our absence and I was relieved I didn't have to make any explanations to anyone. Or so I thought.

"Hostess, where were you? You look amazing by the way." Theo slurred and smelled of alcohol as he came up and talked to me. He had always been the heaviest drinker among our group of friends which was probably one reason why I had never actually fancied him. But he was cute and nice when sober, so I had never minded him flirting with me. But now I had to explain myself.

"Um... Nowhere. Why?" I smiled and raised my eyebrows, not following him.

"Oh c'mon. You and Harry were gone at the same time. What's up with you two?" Theo said sarcastically and leaned against the kitchen doorway.

"Were we? I don't know where he was but I went to fix my dress upstairs as there was something wrong with the straps." Ha, he couldn't argue with that.

"And you and him?" He insisted and wouldn't let go of the subject.

"We're friends. He is a nice guy and I have nothing against him. But friends." I sighed and wanted to leave Theo alone.

"Alright, alright. Sorry, don't take it the wrong way. Just curious." Theo calmed me down and put his hand on my bare shoulder, squeezing it. I could feel Harry's eyes on my back as I knew he was standing behind me and talking with Louis.

"You know what time it is?" Naomi suddenly yelled and made everyone drop the conversations they had going on. Theo removed his hand from my shoulder and turned to look at Naomi. "Spin the bottle, truth or dare style!" Naomi continued and made most of us cheer. Not me though since I knew something awful could happen. And it would be a miracle if nothing like that happened.

"I don't think I'm going to..." I started quietly as I approached Naomi as everyone was gathering up to form a circle on the floor.

"Oh no girl! You are going to play like everyone else. Don't be boring now. You always play!" Naomi shouted playfully but with a bossy undertone to it.

"I guess I have to then..." I tried to smile and sat down on the floor.

Naomi dragged more drinks for everyone before the game started. I was sitting next to Niall and Claudia, while Harry was sitting almost opposite of me. I gave him a look to say 'sorry' but he smiled at me as if everything was okay. Maybe he had never played with people like us. Naomi could make some awful dares to others.

"So, as everyone knows, we spin the bottle and the one who it points to gets to choose between a truth or dare. Now, like before, you can't always choose truth. You have to change it every time. Ready? Okay, I'll spin." Naomi explained the rules.

I watched the bottle spin around multiple times before it finally stopped and pointed towards Elizabeth. She chose truth, like most always did the first time it was their turn. Naomi asked her to tell what had been her most embarrassing sex-experience so far. Elizabeth looked at me quickly. I was the only one who knew she was actually a virgin but she had insisted she didn't want anyone to think she was. I tried to tell her numerous times it was more than fine and that it was admirable.

Luckily, she came up with a lie that included an imaginary guy and how they had been caught by his parents inside his car. Everyone laughed and complimented her for the funny story. Oh god... She should just be okay with her being a virgin, I thought.

The game went on and Naomi was mastering most of the dares as she was always coming up with the craziest ones. Perrie had to run around our house in her bra and yell 'all natural baby' while doing it as the rest of us cheered her on. I was glad the bottle hadn't stopped in front of me or Harry yet. Until now. It stopped and it was my turn.

"Finally! You were getting off way too easy! And please don't say truth." Naomi sighed but her eyes were glowing.

"Fine. Dare. I bet you have a good one." I knew I was pushing my luck without Naomi realizing it. But I didn't want to be boring either.

"Way to go girl! Okay... So, make out with Theo for 30 seconds. French." Naomi said smiling wickedly and made everyone laugh out loud.

Normally, I would have not thought anything bad about it. That's what she always did; sometimes she made girls kiss each other, sometimes me and Theo. But the tongue-part was new. Daring indeed. And I had boyfriend. A boyfriend I had just confessed my love to today for the first time. Just a few hours ago. And Harry had seen me kiss Theo once, before we were together. I did not want to kiss him now or ever.

"Naomi, seriously... 30 seconds... Tongue. You're..." I started complaining.

"Oh shut up Gracie and just do it. Tongue to add a little excitement! Plain kissing is just boring! Here, take a sip." Naomi laughed and gave me a sip of her drink which I took. Everyone cheered me on, except for Liam and Harry who were sitting quietly but tried to smile, looking fake as hell.

Theo came up to me and lifted my legs over his so we were facing each other and before I could protest his actions, he pressed his lips against mine. Naomi started to take time and people cheered us on. I wished I could have at least sat another way so that Harry couldn't see my face but now I was facing him completely. Theo's other hand was cupping my cheek and the other held me close to him by pressing my back. His tongue was inside my mouth in no time and the kiss was wet in all the wrong ways.

I didn't know if closing my eyes would look like I was enjoying the kiss but if I kept them open, I would eventually look at Harry to see how he was taking this. I decided to leave them open because I was definitely not enjoying kissing Theo.

It felt like I was sitting there, partially on Theo’s lap, forever. I could swear time had never gone by as slowly as it did in that moment. I felt like Theo was taking his part a bit too seriously as he was kissing me more passionately than ever before. It felt so wrong. I felt horrible. And then my eyes started to wander from staring at the wall opposite me towards Harry. He was sitting with his knees up and his hands resting on top of them and he was looking at me. First, I thought he was taking it okay and knew that this was just a stupid game. But then after our eyes met for a brief moment, he pressed his head down.

“Five, four, three, two, one!” Naomi shouted as the time was coming to an end. Everyone cheered and I tried to get away from Theo as quickly as possible but he wouldn’t let go. I didn’t want to make a scene so I gave in and raised my eyebrows in order to get him to say what he wanted.

“That was quite amazing, right?” Theo asked smiling and I mumbled something like ‘mmhhm’ in response. “Maybe I should spend the night?” He asked a follow-up question, this time almost whispering.

“What? Oh, get off me!” I snapped at him and wrenched his hands away from my shoulders. “I’m done playing. Anyone need a drink?” I stood up from the floor and made my way to the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, maybe that went a bit far. But you have never resisted like that before we had played. Why now?” Theo followed me to the kitchen and asked.

“I… I don’t know. I just didn’t feel like it. Like fooling around.” I didn’t know what else I could say. I started to feel a bit idiotic. Of course Theo had no idea what was going on behind closed doors and yes, previously I had been fooling around with him for a few times, although just for fun on my part. But he couldn’t know the truth. “I’m sorry I overreacted.”

“So, we’re good. I would like to take you out though, movies or something. How’s tomorrow?” Theo kept pushing his luck. I noticed Harry coming into the kitchen.

“No, sorry. I know this sounds like a lie, but it’s not you, it’s me.” I tried to smile apologetically at him. Harry walked by us towards the fridge as if nothing was going on.

“No? Damn… You like to play hard to get but just a few months ago you were all over me too.” Theo said strongly and walked away and gave me no time to respond or defend myself.

I stood there for a little while, knowing that Harry was standing right behind me. I felt stupid for not saying anything but I didn’t know how I should act around him. Should I be all cool about it and like it was no big deal because it really wasn’t for me. Or should I apologize and swear my undying love to him. While I was busy coming up with a plan, Harry turned me around so we were facing each other.

“You were all over him? Is it true?” Harry asked and looked more distant than ever.

“You know that it’s not true. He has never been anything more than a friend.” I sighed and tried to take Harry’s hand but he rejected my gesture. “Please, let’s talk after everyone leaves.”

“I think I’m going to go now. I’ll call you tomorrow.” Harry said coldly and was nothing like his sweet caring self.

“What? Harry, please don’t go…” I tried to plead with him but he was out of the front door.

It felt like my whole being was collapsing from the hurt I was feeling. I loved that boy so much and then I did something this humiliating in front of his face and expected for everything to be okay. He was not like other guys my age, he actually cared what I did. And this was not okay in any way. Oh god, please come back to me, I thought and felt tears dropping to my cheeks.

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