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I Can't Hold Back

Chapter 16

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I love flying. It’s something about being so high up that makes me feel invincible. I never really understood why people hated it so much. I looked over at Niall, who was already fast asleep when the plane just hit cruising altitude. He looked like a prince; and he was. We were staying in Ireland for two weeks, and the boys promised to move all our stuff over into the new house so we could unpack as soon as we got home. I was so excited for everything; my new home, meeting my boyfriend’s family…this was the best time of my life. It was impossible for me to sleep on planes, so I brought a shit ton of magazines on home décor and furniture to read. I made a mental note to hire an interior decorator as soon as we were back in the States. As I read an article on monochromatic colors, I felt my eyelids grow heavy. Weird. I continued to read but felt myself getting more and more tired. Maybe it was the pregnancy? I tried to fight it but soon gave up. If my body wanted to sleep, I’d let it sleep. I shut my eyes and relaxed onto Niall’s shoulder. I did have a huge two weeks ahead of me after all.

----

“Welcome to Dublin International Airport. Please take your belongings from the overhead carriages and begin your departure. Enjoy your stay in Ireland!” The pilot’s British accent awoke me from my slumber. Niall was already awake, fiddling with his Blackberry. He gave me a sad face while I stretched out my arms.

“How did you sleep that long? I woke up about two hours ago to see if we could join the mile-high club. Guess I lost that opportunity.” He frowned and got up from his seat. I rose out of mine and grabbed his shoulders.

“Maybe on the flight back,” I whispered into his ear. Stifling a yawn, I grabbed my carry-on and watched my boyfriend grin as we got off the plane.

The chill Dublin air sent shivers down my spine. I had gotten so used to the LA sun that weather like this seemed so dreary. I shook the thought and continued to make my way to baggage claim and customs. The line was practically out the god damn airport. I turned around and gave Niall a death glare for making us fly commercial. I knew he and the boys had a private jet, but Niall wanted us to get “the whole feel” out of this vacation. Bullshit. A good vacation would be someone rubbing my sore pregnant feet while I soared 40,000 feet above the ground. After what seemed like a two hour wait, I politely smiled at the attendant and handed her my carry-on and passport. She looked from my picture to back at me, then said something I couldn’t fucking understand.

“Sorry, could you repeat that?” I smiled, trying to focus my ears on her words. She repeated what she said, but I still couldn’t understand a fucking word of it. Niall was getting fidgety behind me, and finally just spoke for me.

“We came from LA and are here to visit my family. They live in Mullingar.” He handed her his passport and carry-on. Oh, so that’s what she was saying. All I heard was verdartchoodoonendacoontry. She handed us back our things and we scurried along to get our bags.

There was a grey Range Rover waiting for us outside the airport, and I guessed it was Niall’s car he drove while he was home. He threw our bags into the trunk and I climbed into the car. I didn’t notice the steering wheel unto it hit my pregnant stomach.

“Uh, babe…wrong side.” Niall pointed to the other side of the car and laughed. I got out, completely embarrassed.

“Sorry that we’re normal in America,” I mumbled with frustration. He started the car and it was about an hour drive to his family’s home. Along the way, he pointed out various restaurants and stores he loved to go to growing up, and I enjoyed seeing things through his eyes. Europe was a whole new concept for me, and it was nice to have a local show me everything. When we pulled up to his house, I was in awe. He must have really loved his parents, because this house was huge. It was a Victorian mansion with two large pillars bordering the front door. The greenery out front looked fresh and crisp, and the brick-work on the outside of the house was amazing. As we got our things out the trunk, Niall’s mother came running out of the house.

“Niall! My baby!” She grabbed him into a hug and kissed all over his face. I smiled at the precious scene in front of me. Niall was a foot taller than his mother, causing her to stand on her tiptoes to kiss him. Once she was done with her son, she moved over to me.

“And you must be Charlie! You are even lovelier then the hundreds of pictures Niall sent me!” I saw Niall roll his eyes and groan as his mother covered me in hugs and kisses. She insisted on Niall carrying our bags inside, and I laughed while I followed her, Niall running his fingers through his hair and sighing as he tried to figure out how to get all our luggage through the door.

The inside of the house was even more beautiful. The marble floors in the foyer glistened underneath the enormous chandelier that hung just in front of a beautiful winding staircase. I had only seen a staircase like that in movies, and was surprised by how large it was. Niall’s father emerged from what I’m guessing was the library and opened his arms to me.

“Great to meet you, sweetheart.” He wrapped me in a hug and I took in the smell of his cologne mixed with pipe smoke.

“Cherry tobacco?” I asked when we moved apart and he let out a laugh. My grandfather was a huge pipe smoker, and my favorite smell in the world was cherry tobacco. He only smoked it whenever he visited Kennedy and me.

“Smart girl. I like this one, Nialler. Good choice,” he told my boyfriend as he walked in buried under all our suitcases. His father quickly helped him before he suffocated from all the leather.

“Now, Charlie,” I looked over at Niall’s mother who was grabbing my hand and leading me towards the kitchen, “all the family is on their way here, but for today I thought we could have a family dinner and get to know each other. Do you cook?” She stirred a pot of some sort of soup and I smiled.

“Of course! How can I help Mrs. Horan?” She handed me a spoon and patted my shoulder.

“Call me Maura.” She smiled and gave me instructions on how to make a true Sheppard’s pie. A million smells were making their way up my nose, and I felt like I was in heaven. The soup was actually lamb stew, and the fresh rosemary in it made my mouth water. As I stirred the stew, Maura grabbed a homemade Irish soda bread out of the oven. I was in love with this family already.

Once dinner was all ready, we all sat down at the gorgeous mahogany dining room table. Niall and his father drank a pint and laughed while Maura served us all. I took a bite of the Sheppard’s pie and almost died. It was so fucking good. My mother was an amazing cook, but she’d never made something like this back home. I shoveled it into my mouth along with my soda bread covered in butter.

“See why we get along so well?” Niall told his parents while he forked down his food. “We’re one in the same.” He winked and I felt myself blush. Fucking pregnant me. I was supposed to be a lady in front of his parents, and instead I looked like a cow. At least I had an excuse. We got to know one another, and I learned all about Niall before the fame from his mother. At one point she even got up to show me baby pictures, much to Niall’s chagrin. His family was so welcoming and warm. After a delicious dessert of chocolate potato cake, Niall and I excused ourselves to get ready for bed. I looked at the fancy clock on the wall and was shocked by the time. It was only seven at night, but it felt like three in the morning. Maybe it was because I had just eaten twice my weight in Irish cuisine.

I walked into Niall’s bedroom and flopped onto his fluffy king-size bed. He laughed and went to the bathroom. I took the opportunity to look around his room. There were tons of pictures, a lot of the band when they were younger. I laughed at a photo of them all in superhero pajamas, imagining the conversations that must have taken place. There was a photo of Niall and his brother at his brother’s wedding, and pictures of Niall with some of his hometown friends. I traced my finger across a photo of Niall with his baby nephew and smiled. Just as I was picturing the same photo except with our new child, Niall came out of the bathroom in nothing but his boxers.

“I’m going to take a shower real quick,” he said as he looked through his bag for a razor.

I came up behind him and snuck my right hand down his Calvin Klein’s. Slowly stroking him, I felt his whole body tense up at the sense of my touch.

“How about I join you,” I whispered as I continued to rub my palm across his hard-on. He turned around and took my t-shirt off over my head, then kissed down my neck as he fumbled with the button to my jeans. I ran my tongue along his shamrock tattoo on his neck. I had completely forgotten about it until this moment, and it was turning me on more than I expected.

After my jeans were clean off me, I broke away and turned on the hot water to the shower. Stripping myself of the rest of my clothes, I hopped into the running water and felt my skin tighten under the heat. Niall stumbled in after me, eager to continue our game from before. He squeezed my wet breasts, slipping his fingers all over the place. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he lifted me up so my legs could fit around his hips. Pushing me up against the tile, he thrusted himself into me while the tile dug into my back. I enclosed my fingers through his hair and moaned as our wet bodies slammed against each other.

“I love you so much, baby,” Niall breathed as he gripped my ass with his nails. I tried to find the voice to say “I love you, too” but was too overcome by the ecstasy. Instead, I sucked on his earlobe and nipped at the skin. He swore under his breath and increased his speed. I felt my stomach tighten as I clenched his hair and opened my eyes under the water. Niall finished soon after, continuing with a few slow thrusts before gently placing me back on my feet. I kissed him and smiled.

“What?” he asked while he grabbed a bar of Dove soap and used it over his chest.

“I love you, too, Niall.” He kissed me and I scrunched my nose, taking the bar of soap to clean myself off. After washing my hair and squirting water at Niall’s face, we left his bathroom in some of the comfiest robes I had ever felt. Walking back into the bedroom, there was a tray with tea on his nightstand from Maura. Awkward seeing as how I was just fucking her son, but none the less precious. I poured Niall and myself a cup and then put on my pajamas. Niall crawled into bed and I followed, exhausted from all the fun we had.

“Just wait for tomorrow, princess. You’ll see the craziness of a real Irish family.” He kissed my forehead and I smiled before drifting off to sleep.

----

The sound of people downstairs woke me up, and I got out of bed in order to get ready for the day. Niall was still fast asleep, so I woke him up by kissing his cheek.

“I think your family’s here, Ni.” He shook his head awake and threw the covers off himself. I grabbed a pretty summer dress to wear and threw it on over my head. I was only about 22 weeks pregnant, but I still felt like I was showing. I had gained almost 15 pounds, but it was probably because I was eating everything in sight more than because I was pregnant. My dress barely still fit, but I decided to wear it anyway. I walked in to the bathroom to put on my make-up as Niall shaved and threw on a button-down and jeans.

When we arrived downstairs, I was surprised by how many people were in Niall’s home. He grabbed my hand and led me to his mother, who was chatting with one of his aunts.

“Niall! Charlie! How did you sleep?” She gave us both a hug and smiled. “Now Niall, I need you to run over to the store and get us more champagne. Your father only bought two bottles, silly bloke.” I followed Niall out to his Range Rover so we could go on the liquor run. Buying five more bottles of champagne (holy fucking shit), Niall came back to the car and promised when we were back he would introduce me to his family.

Niall handed his mother the bottles and then grabbed my hand to commence my meeting of his quite large family. He buzzed through the many rooms of his home, each one occupying a different member of his Irish clan. I met aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, second cousins twice-removed…everyone. I was beginning to feel overwhelmed. I was fine with meeting Niall’s family, but I wasn’t expecting his whole fucking family. Tons of strange hands were touching my stomach and face and I was getting hot. He then led me up the stairs to see his nephew, and I met his brother Greg and Greg’s wife Denise.

“How far along are you?” Denise asked as she looked at my stomach.

“About 22 weeks.” I subconsciously rubbed my stomach and let out a small smile.

“Just wait, pregnancy is a real bitch. Wait until you can’t see your feet anymore and you have to waddle like a duck.” Okay? I continued to smile because I had no idea how to respond to that. “Once you have the baby you should visit all the time. I grew up with my cousins, and I want my son to do the same. In fact, are you and Niall going to move out here? You should. It’s good to have family to support you.” She was filling my brain with too many thoughts and I was feeling dizzy. Niall wasn’t paying attention, too busy drinking champagne flutes with his brother.

There was so much a buzz around me. Niall’s nephew started crying, I heard older men laughing in another room, and there was just a constant noise of chatter. My head was beginning to spin. This was all happening so fast; the people, the baby, my relationship…everything. I wasn’t used to all this attention. My family was the exact opposite of Niall’s, very private and conservative.

I backed out of the room trying to get my head straight, and Niall looked worried. I thought about how I could calm down before I felt my foot slip underneath me and I descended backwards down the staircase. The last thing I remember was hearing Niall scream my name.

Comments

Oh my gosh! The ending has left me crying! This story is filled with too much tragedy!

Just read the first chapter... USC? Sounds like the you are talking about University of South Carolina

Oh my god my heart feels broken!! You are such a great writer, I almost felt like I was experiencing the pain. I hope Niall and Charlie are together with their baby in heaven!! Great job on the story write another Niall story!! This time where they live lol!!

sniff niall died sniff nooooooooooooo! I loved it!, until niall died. I cried for hours! ur a very phenomiNIALL writer! read my story through the dark.its the one with the lyrics except they r about niall.

i just finished reading this and im a mess! you are a really talented writer :) i loved it

Jenny Styles Jenny Styles
1/14/14