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I Can't Hold Back

Chapter 14

If it was even possible, I felt like Niall loved me more now that he knew I was baring his child. The way he looked at me for the rest of the night made my heart flutter. The boys were ecstatic to hear the news of the baby as well, and even little Harry shed a tear of joy. That night, I slept the most soundly I had in months.

As soon as I woke up, I Skyped my mother to tell her the news. I would have video messaged my sister as well, but she was busy at the hospital she worked for. Though very worried and upset at first, I convinced my mother that everything was going to go fine and that I would make up for lost school next summer. After she was over her initial shock, she screamed and planned a visit for her and my father in the upcoming weeks. While I was getting ready, I got a text from Eleanor. Want to come over and have a baby-movie marathon? I have Baby Mama all ready in the Blu-Ray. J Smiling, I replied I’d be over soon and finished getting dressed.

Arriving at the hotel, I found Zayn outside smoking…nothing new. When he saw me, though, he quickly stomped out his cigarette. “Don’t want to harm my niece or nephew now, do I?” he grinned while rubbing on my stomach. His gesture was so sweet that it took all of me not to cry – fucking hormone overload. I kissed his cheek and walked inside to take the elevator to El and Lou’s suite.

“Charlie!” Eleanor screamed as she opened the door to her room. She enveloped me in a huge hug and took my coat for me. “How are you feeling today?”

“Great!” I smiled, taking a seat on the couch. “Where’s Lou?”

“Oh he’s off being a boy with Harry and Liam. What about Niall?” She poured us each a glass of lemonade.

“Last time I saw him he was still sleeping. I left him a note for when he finally wakes up,” I giggled, taking the drink from her hand.

We watched Baby Mama whilst eating a ton of popcorn and M&Ms, laughing at the hilarious antics of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. It felt good to laugh at being pregnant. I was so scared and upset these past few days that taking the time to relax and smile felt so refreshing. When the movie was over, we watched the credits and peed ourselves at the hilarious blooper reel.

“So tell me,” she said turning towards me on the couch, “is Niall your first love?” I stifled my laugh. I hadn’t thought about past loves in a while. I was so used to random college hook-ups that it felt like Niall actually was my first love.

“No, he wasn’t. There was this one boy at my Prep School in New York. I haven’t thought about him in ages…” I trailed off, picking at my nail polish.

“Well don’t just stop fucking talking! Tell me about him! I want to know every dirty detail.” She winked and I busted out a laugh.

“Okay, okay. His name is Dylan Carson and I met him the summer before my junior year. He came from the same type of family as me, and our parents knew each other from their Country Club. One time I was tanning poolside while my parents were enjoying afternoon tea, and he got my attention by splashing me with the pool water. It turned into a huge wet mess and it ended with him asking me out to dinner. From that point on, it was pure bliss. He loved to show me off in front of his friends and he was keen on excessive PDA. I knew I loved him when he kissed me after a romantic picnic he planned in Central Park.” I stopped and looked down, becoming self-conscious that I was blushing. I took another sip of lemonade before I continued.

“But he turned out to be a real asshole in the end. The night of my senior prom I finally gave it up to him. He was so sweet and gentle that I knew he was the perfect person to lose my virginity to. But, the next day he wouldn’t answer my texts or calls and I got worried. Finally, after two days of not hearing anything, he sent me a text that simply said, it’s over. I tried to get him to explain himself but he wouldn’t respond. Then my best friend said she saw him making out with another girl at the mall the next day. I cried myself to sleep for a week straight until I finally said fuck it. Then I became a super slut in college and slept with whatever frat boy had the hottest body.” I rolled my eyes at my pathetic life. “Last I heard he was a Pre-Law major at Yale playing lacrosse in his spare time.” I sighed and El took my hand.

“I’m so sorry, Charlie. That must have been so hard,” she looked at me in a way my sister would, causing me to bite my lip so I wouldn’t cry.

“It’s all in the past now. Plus I have Niall, who is ten times the man Dylan will ever be.” I smiled but it quickly turned into a frown. “Let me ask you something, Eleanor…do you think Niall and I are moving too fast? I mean we’ve known each other for a little over 3 months and we’re already expecting a child together.” Oh my fucking God. I can’t believe I was just realizing this now. It took me two fucking years to sleep with Dylan, but I slept with Niall the second time I hung out with him. Now I was expecting a baby with the kid after the time it takes normal people to finish a semester at college. Everything was moving way too fast. I was beginning to feel dizzy and held my hand to my head to balance myself.

“It all depends on how you feel, Charlie. After five months Louis told me he loved me, but it felt like the perfect time...for us. Everyone moves at their own pace; it’s just how you personally feel to determine if it’s real.” Wow, was she fucking Oprah or something? I smiled but on the inside I was screaming. Maybe I would discreetly ask the question to Niall and see how he felt. I knew he loved me…but was it all just an in-the-moment thing?

Eleanor’s phone started to ring and she excused herself while she answered it in the bedroom. I cleaned up our snacks and drinks and washed my hands in the sink. She emerged from the bedroom with a smile on her face and her coat in her hands. “Grab your jacket! We’re meeting all the boys for a celebratory dinner at Osteria Mozza.” I clapped and walked towards the coat closet to grab my pea coat.

As we were walking out the door towards the elevator, I felt a buzz in my pocket. I took out my phone and nearly dropped it on the hotel floor. The text read I miss you…it was from Dylan.

Comments

Oh my gosh! The ending has left me crying! This story is filled with too much tragedy!

Just read the first chapter... USC? Sounds like the you are talking about University of South Carolina

Oh my god my heart feels broken!! You are such a great writer, I almost felt like I was experiencing the pain. I hope Niall and Charlie are together with their baby in heaven!! Great job on the story write another Niall story!! This time where they live lol!!

sniff niall died sniff nooooooooooooo! I loved it!, until niall died. I cried for hours! ur a very phenomiNIALL writer! read my story through the dark.its the one with the lyrics except they r about niall.

i just finished reading this and im a mess! you are a really talented writer :) i loved it

Jenny Styles Jenny Styles
1/14/14