Wiping her eyes furiously, Kate navigated her way back towards her dorm. What a disaster, half a cup of coffee and a screaming match for breakfast. She didn't know how this day could get any worse, was she going to lose her scholarship, be deported, would the dog she had since childhood die? She was ready for it, okay maybe not ready but she could survive it. If she could live through that meeting with Harry, she was sure she could live through anything.

She hadn't thought of what she could or would say to Harry had they ever run into one another again, truthfully she had assumed bumping into him was an impossibility. He was part of something so big the little people didn't matter anymore, and Kate had never mattered to him anyway. If she had, he wouldn't have ended it the way he did, or treated her the way he did.

She just wanted to put it all behind her, really put it behind her. Now with time she could probably do that. He hadn't changed, and he was clueless as to what he had even done to her.

Kate knew the reality, what had happened wasn't some earth cracking heartbreak to a lot of people. They wouldn't see that to her it was, he had really hurt her. He was the first person she had ever loved, the first person she had slept with. She wanted so many unrealistic things with him and he said he wanted those things too. So when it all came crashing down she was devastated, it changed her in some way.

She wanted to move on, Tom was a change in that but she just couldn't commit. She didn't want to let Tom in so they only spoke about him or meaningless things like the latest episode of some sill show she pretended to watch, or music she had absolutely no intreats in unless he mentioned it.

That's why when he stood outside of her dorm room, she wanted to run right back down into the street and throw herself into traffic.

He was the anti Harry, blonde hair cropped short, dark blue eyes. He was thinner, less muscular which didn't bother her at all, and was a couple of inches taller. If they ended up dating, Charlotte had commented in the beginning, they would be the Barbie and Ken of their group. The prospect had been cute, now it was just irritating.

"Hey, Kate I was just coming by to see if you wanted to grab breakfast."

"I'm really not hungry Tom," she muttered, looking down at her keys. She didn't need his kindness right now, she just wanted to crawl back into bed.

"Are you okay? You look like you've been crying," he mentioned, far too concerned for her comfort level.

"The wind…just got me, and my eyes started watering," she lied, so horribly that she knew he had detected it.

"You know you can tell me. Did you and Charlotte…did something happen last night?"

He made it sound so dirty, like she had gotten drunk and rolled around with her roommate, like she was a girlfriend stealing slag and now embarrassed for herself.

She looked at him rather offended, wringing her hands together. "Look, mate I appreciate this good samaritan bullshit, but it's too early yeah?"

He seemed taken aback by the sudden venom in her voice. "Whoa, Kate i'm sorry."

How could he be apologizing? He should have called her a bitch, or another nasty word relating to the female anatomy. He was too sweet for such vile language though, he made her feel so guilty.

She sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose between her thumb and index finger. "Tom, i've just had a really bad morning and it has nothing to do with Charlotte. It's so sweet of you to think of me and be so concerned, i'm sorry to take this out on you. Really, I apologize, massive one."

He reached out to put a comforting hand on her shoulder, and it took everything that Kate had not to brush him off.

"I'm always here if you need anything okay? You don't need to apologize, I should have called."

His words made her flinch ever so slightly. "Maybe another time," she offered with a small, fake smile.

"Sure, i'll just check in later if that's okay? See if you're all right."

Only giving him a nod, she made a mental note to turn her phone off as soon as possible.

What had she become?

Reluctantly Tom retreated down the hall, Kate waiting until he was out of sight to enter her room. She shut the door behind her, quietly tip toeing across the floor since she had seen the bump still in the other bed. Changing back into her pajamas, she shyly put her phone on silent to cut some guilt she would have, and crawled back into her own bed.

She shut her eyes, begging sleep to come so she could stop thinking, so she could live somewhere that this morning never happened, that Harry or Tom didn't exist, where she was happily lonely and free of it all. The only thing that came were more tears, crying as silently as she could.

Where could she go from here?

Harry had stood outside of that coffee shop a good ten min utter after Kate's sobbing frame left his sight. He was just so stunned, that wasn't how he had planned things to happen. Now he was left reeling in the reality of it all.

He wasn't exactly sure how he had seen it all going, he knew she wasn't going to fall into his arms and profess her undying love for him. He wasn't sure he wanted that anyway. Sure Kate had a special place in his heart, he had loved her without a doubt. She had been some of his very firsts, which did mean something, even in his still boyish brain. He wasn't heartless, or a prick like she had assumed.

Harry just wanted to be her mate, get to know her again and hopefully, maybe they could make their way back to how things were pre-everything. This was his brain's way of subtly letting him think he wasn't still nostalgically lusting after Kate in some way. He would soon figure it out that he was, but would it be too late?

Regardless of the stunned, mind spinning, gut tightening ride back to where they were staying, Harry couldn't have prepared himself for what was waiting for him.

It was surprisingly quiet, no cameras, no fans waiting to catch a glimpse of his cute, boyish face or the tendrils on his head. Like the proverbial calm before the storm, these were the warning clouds before the booming thunder and blinding lightning came down around him.

All he wanted was to sneak back into his room and wallow in self pity and silence, of course that was far too much to ask.

"Where the hell were you?" Liam seethed, another intervention like circle waiting for him behind the door.

"I was worried about you, woke up and you weren't here," Louis sighed heavily, disappointed.

The other two stayed quiet, Zayn brooding while Niall just sat glumly, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. Their body language screamed that they were both angry and disappointed as well, but wanted to be anywhere else.

"You're lucky we didn't ask anybody else where you were, just us," Liam grumbled again.

"I was just out getting a coffee, needed some time to myself."

"I don't buy it," Liam shook his head. "You've been acting like a dick for a while, being secretive and shady. You better tell us what's going on right now mate."

Liam was a sweet guy, hilarious at times, a prankster like the rest of them, but he also had the tendency to act like a dad. Normally Harry didn't resent it, he embraced their roles within the group, right now though he couldn't stand it.

"Listen mate, how about you fuck off and mind your own business for a bloody second. I went for a coffee, sorry I didn't sign the sheet and take my pass. What else would you complain about though, right?"

Four sets of eyes looked at him like he had just confessed to being a serial killer, which made him feel so guilty and immediately apologetic for what he had just said.

"Come on, let's leave Harry alone," Louis finally suggested, leading them all out of the room.

Before they all departed, Zayn paused to look him up and down almost with disgust.

"Completely out of order," he muttered with the shake of his head.

He was right, but a big part of Harry wasn't bothered, rivalling that apologetic part of him. He just had other things on his mind…Kate.

He replayed every second of what had happened when he sat down in complete silence, rewinding to loop all of the things she had said to him.

"You ruined me and you can't even see that Harry."

How Katie, how have I ruined you? He asked himself, mulling it over for what seemed like hours. He just couldn't figure it out, not until he put it all together. Dirty secret, you're a prick, you ruined me. A light bulb went off only to explode and slash his skin bitterly. She had been holding a grudge this whole time, which he only now fully acknowledged, and maybe he couldn't blame her.

He groaned at the realization, suddenly uncomfortable in his own skin. He shouldn't have jumped the gun so quickly on wanting to see her, he shouldn't have pushed it the way he did. In the same beat however, a little voice told him he should have been glad, and that all of this was actually a good thing. He had gotten her out of his system, now she could come running back when she realized she wasn't holding a grudge at all, that she had just missed him.

It was such a sick thought to have, so selfish, and he knew she probably hated him now, He had screwed her up beyond repair, that wedge that had been driven between them before was now wedged further, probably too far.

He could have any girl he wanted, Harry was the playboy, the heartthrob. You could throw a stone out the window right then and hit a girl who wanted to be with Harry. He didn't want that, he didn't want them, all he wanted was Katie. His big, blue eyes blonde, who knew how to make him feel free, who sent a shot from head to toe when she kissed him.

It was the sappiest, most girly thing he had ever thought about, but he was at an end. He could go one way or another, and this was the way he was going.

He would have to apologize to the lads first, maybe tell them some of what was going on and get some advice. Then maybe he could set out trying to win Kate back over. That didn't mean win her over so they could be the low key couple of the moment like Liam and his girl, or Louis' and his. It just meant what he had wanted it to mean at the beginning of this whole day, he wanted to be close to her again. He wanted to be able to call her for a laugh when he got lonely, tell her weird jokes that he knew nobody else would get.

They had shared so many considerably mundane things in the span of knowing one another, things that came flooding back the longer Harry just sat on the bed. He cherished them all, and now that he wasn't so focused on finding her, winding her up enough so that she would call him, or stalking her just to get a look at her in the flesh, he could remind her too.

They had worked once, why couldn't they work again?