The Setup

Niall leads me through the doors to this club for the after party. Why the fuck did I even agree to come? I could've said I had a headache and then I wouldn't have to be here. The music is blaring and its all dark. Niall has his hands firmly around my waist. He leads us to the VIP section. The crowd really thins out and we sit down in this booth. Eleanor and Louis didn't even come with us. So it was just me and the rest of the boys. "So Cleo how'd you like the show?" I look over at Harry who is smiling at me. "It was good. I didn't know very many songs but you guys were funny."
"Thanks love! And you're going to know the words after about the third show." I looked at him confused. Why would I know that words…do I have to go watch them perform every fucking time?! No thank you! That didn't even sound fun. "Cleo babe…can I get you a drink?"
"Uh yea sure. Whatever you get will be fine." He kisses my cheek then leaves. I sit there uncomfortably because well I don't really talk to Harry and Liam. Liam is looking out at the crowd. "What is it like Cleo? Being able to just go out and have pretty much no one recognize you?" I look at him, I can see the anguish in his eyes. "Its alright I guess. More people recognize me than you think. I suppose it’s the price that we have to pay…"
"I guess you're right. Niall has never been this happy you know." I look out and see blonde hair making its way back to us. "You don't know him like I do then. I've seen him happier." I remember when I let my curiosity get the best of me. I asked Rachel to drive me out to Mullingar because I wanted to see how Niall was doing. I directed her to the school right when it was ending. I saw him laughing and messing around with his friends. I watched him as he walked back to his house. Not even once glancing to mine. I remember that day perfectly because that was the day that I finally felt no regret on leaving that town. Because even Niall forgot about me. Liam was about to ask me another question but Niall appeared. He sat down next to me and passed out drinks to everyone. I see that it is just straight scotch. I take a sip and man does it burn. I look over to see he is almost done with his. I finish mine off and someone brings- more. I finish off another on and I feel a bit tipsy. "Niaaalll! Lets go dance!" I am pulling him to the floor and he just laughs but gets up. We get out there and I start grinding on him. My hands are around his neck and his hands are on my hips. I love the way I feel when I am in his arms. "Lets get out of here."
"Cleo…" I can't hear what else he says because someone pulls him away. Some girls and handing him their numbers. I just head back to the table. I take off my coat since I got really hot dancing. I have sobered up and I thank god that those girls distracted him. "What happened to your arms?!" I look up to see Harry and Liam gawking at my scars. Shit. I look at them. "Cleo! You shouldn't do this stuff. Its dangerous." I felt the tears well up in my eyes. I grab my coat and just run past Niall and out the door. I get hit with the cool night air. I look around and recognize the street name. I started to walk. I got that all the time. Many people mistook my scars for self-harm scars. But I would never do that to myself. I wasn't stupid. I have no long how long I have been walking so I check my phone and see Niall called 3 times. I sigh. I have no idea how I am going to survive this. I know that I am more of a loner type. But I always thought that someone would love me. That was before my mom ditched me and showed me that sometimes love isn't enough. My phone buzzes and I see that it is Niall again. I answer. "Hello?"
"Cleo! Where the hell are you?"
"Outside…where are you?"
"You are not outside because that's where I am right now! Cleo please come back. I'll take you to the hotel…" I keep walking because I know that I am practically at the hotel. "Why bother? I am almost there anyways. Just have fun with your friends…I like being alone anyways. I didn't want to go there in the first place."
"Why didn't you tell me! We would've just gone back to the hotel! I'm on my way over there." Then he hung up. Great. I get to hotel and I realize that I don't have the room key. So I am sitting in the hallway waiting for Niall to come. This reminds of me of when I was hiding from my dad but Niall was at football practice so I was sitting by his backdoor waiting for him to get back home. I send out a twee. 'When you get locked out of your hotel room and @NiallOfficial isn't back yet<<' I wait for like another 10 minutes. Then Niall comes barreling out of the elevator. I slowly get up because my butt is numb from sitting on the ground. "Why the hell do you always have to send me on some wild goose chase to find you?!"
"I said I was going to be here…did you hit traffic?"
"No the paps were bad but why did you run out in the first place?" He lets us into the room and I kick off my shoes. Then I grab a pair of shorts and his blue shirt and change. I come back out to see him in just shorts. He was sitting on the bed looking at his hands. He looks up when I come out. "Cleo why did you run away?" I just hold out my arms. He stands up and traces some of the scars. He bends down and presses his lips to my forearm. "I don't understand…"
"Liam asked if I cut myself." He looked up at me. I can see the anger in his eyes which was new to me. "He did what? I am going to kill him! Why the hell would he think that! I can't believe--"
"I don't think he intentionally meant to hurt me Niall. Its fine, I've gotten that remark before." I climb onto the bed. I am suddenly very tired. He crawls beside me and pulls me into his chest. "I wish I could heal every wound you have Cleo."
"There is nothing you could've done Niall. Its fine." I move away from him. I don't deserve anyone to care for me. I am the only one who can take care of myself. I don't need anyone to heal me. Why? Because I am too broken. I am not worthy of anyone's love like that. Sure my mom loves me and so does Lola and Mickey. But someone can't be in love me. Then I hear his voice ring out. "What did you mean you've seen me happier?" I sit up and look at him. I sigh and look at my hands. Should I tell him what I did? I don’t know if I should. But being here with him makes me miss having him as a friend. "I meant I've seen you happier. This one time when I was 15…I begged my mom…Rachel…to drive me to Mullingar to I don’t know…see you. We got to school right when it was getting let out and I saw you. Laughing and messing around with some people. I assume your new friends. I got out and followed you. I watched you walk past my house and not even look at it. That's when I finally decided that my past should just stay there in the past."
"Cleo I tried to forget you! I tried so hard. But I couldn't everything reminded me of you. Cleo you should've called after me--"
"And said what Niall? Hey remember me? You know your best friend that left you high and dry? You looked like you forgot me…so I didn't bother. I just went back to the car and told Rachel that this was the last time that would happen."
"You could've yelled anything and I would've turned around! Cleo…I can't believe you thought that I forgot you." I just shrug and lie back down. I didn't really want to continue this conversation. But hey I told him so this is one step towards rekindling our friendship.

Notes