To Fill His Heart

I understand that he cares about me, but I just couldn’t face another one of his sympathetic gestures. I mean come on Lou, the king of ultimate distractions was the one who was treading lightly over my feelings and treating me like a weakling who couldn’t do anything independently anymore. When I was back at home I couldn’t even get up to go to the bathroom without him asking me if I was ok.

The room I had rented for the night was quite spacious with three bunk beds, a kitchenette as well as its own bathroom, my heart ached at the fact that I could most definitely fit all the boys in here, and we could have had our own vacation together. But then my thoughts would wonder back to the reason I was here in the first place, and I would start to feel like hell once more.

I switched on my laptop, just curious as to what was going on with the world, thank goodness for free internet in this place. I wasn’t even sure what I was looking for all I knew was I was drawn to the internet and before long I already began typing my name into the search bar. ‘Harry Styles’ thousands of search page came up. I clicked on the very first link as that usually meant it was the most reliable I wanted to be the judge of that.

‘Teen heartthrob Styles, has not been spotted since the sentence was confirmed, some have reported that they’d seen him at Heathrow airport but no photographic evidence has been leaked to support that source.’

People were so nosy these days; can’t they leave me alone for one minute? I could only think of her family and how much they probably hated me it was enough that their daughter was maliciously murdered, that was enough of a news story already, but having her date a celebrity there was no escaping it. I would hate me too if I was her parents, they’ve lost their daughter and all the world cares about is her famous boyfriend and how he’s not coping. It was disgusting how this world works.

My phone began to ring once again and I hoped it wasn’t Lou again, I didn’t have the heart to reject his calls again.

It wasn’t him, but I still had trouble answering it.

“Hey Mum.” I answered, closing my eyes regrettably. I didn’t tell her I was leaving with that being said I didn’t tell anyone.

“Where are you, I’ve been worried sick you haven’t spoken to me in two days.” She sounded hurt which was understandable,

“I’m sorry.” I groaned and I knew she heard it.

“No, no it’s okay you’re talking now.”

“Have you spoken to the boys?” I asked her not really wanting to know the answer but I needed to know if Louis had snitched to my mother yet.

“Not since the trial.” She told me, I exhaled a sigh of relief. Louis had settled down.

“Okay, good. Well I’d better let you go now Mum this call is probably costing you a fortune.” I don’t think she realised I was in Australia yet.

“Where are you?” she finally asked.

“I’m in Sydney.” I told her, I thought I heard a gasp on the other end of the call.

“Be safe please.” She said before we both said our goodbyes. I knew this was hurting her but I just couldn’t go back, I needed time to heal she understood that and deep down I knew Louis did too.