Clary's POV
Ryan and I were on our way over to the studio to get ready for the BRITs. Honestly I think that this will go terribly bad for me…but I can't not go. So that’s that. I have no idea what dress they are putting me in or who we are scheduled to interview on the carpet. I just want to go back home and sleep. I don't have to be there until like 1 but I can't sleep. Why? Because well my whole life is crumbling around me. Its times like these I miss my dad. He would know what to do. I reach for his dog tags that I wear always. My mom gave them to me freshman year as a going away gift. I haven't taken them off since then. I still miss him everyday. But its gotten easier for me. I don't cry during May. I stay strong. I still remember when Niall came over that day. The day that we became boyfriend/girlfriend. Then about a year later…that's when I tore us apart. That argument replays in my mind. I wince and just lay on my bed. My phone buzzes.

Coley: You up? We have lunch plans in like 30 minutes.

Shit. I get up and quickly through up my hair and throw on yoga pants and Niall's football hoodie. I know really stupid of me but I still have all of his old stuff that he left at my house. Sometimes when I really can't sleep because of thunderstorms, I sleep with the teddy bear he won for me at the carnival back then.

"Oh Ni, lets play this game! Please?!" I turn around and smile at him. He snakes his arm around my waist and kisses the side of my head. He steps up and starts to play. He's actually really good at it. He wins me a blue teddy bear. "For you my dear." I grab it then I hug him.
"Thanks Ni!" I kiss his on the cheek then he links his fingers through mine again. We just walked along for awhile until it was time to go. Then we drove back to his place. "My mom is gone for the weekend…" He started to trace my thigh. I smile and leap out of the car racing him to the door.
"No fair Clary!! You got a head start!" I just smile and wave. He comes over and unlocks to door letting me inside.

I snap back to reality. I check the time and shit! I throw on my Uggs then grab my purse. I shut the door quietly since I know Penny is still sleeping. I go down the hall and Nicole is waiting. Her arms crossed and leaning on the wall. She peels herself off and walks over. Since she is like four inches taller she always slings her arm over my shoulder. "Ready to go Clary?"
"Yep! I am so ready." We walk outside and head down to a small café that I know. Well I know because I sing there sometimes on the weekends. We walk in and sit down. I really should try and not eat a lot considering I have the BRITs in like 4 hours. Nicole senses I'm on edge I think because she keeps on glancing at me over her menu. "Yes Nicki?"
"Nothing…you sure you're okay? You shouldn't have to go if--"
"I have to go. Lets just not talk about it okay? Tell me about your book." And she did for like the rest of the time. I've only ever seen her this excited and that was when football was involved. I really liked it. I checked my watch and it was almost 1. I stood up and Nicole looked at me weirdly. "I have to go! I'm going to be late…sorry Nicki! I'll text you later!" I run out of the café and straight to my car. I was getting dressed and makeup done at the studio. I hop in and speed off. I get there just before 1pm. I run into the dressing room out of breath. Ryan looks at me like I am on drugs. "Cutting it close Clarissa." I just stick my tongue out at him and sit down next to him. The lady comes over and pulls me out of my chair. Like what the hell bitch? I am tired let me sit! I go with her of course because I'm not that mean. I could never say that out loud unless it was Nicole. She brings over this dress to wear. I put it on and look at myself. Well the color looked great on me. My hair looked redder than ever. My eyes were a deep green. They got darker since I have gotten older. But they are still amazing looking. I step out and Ryan whistles. "Looking hot babe!" I roll my eyes and go over by him. He was wearing a suit. He looked good. Ryan always did. We instantly hit it off the first day of interning here. We made a natural team. I loved him like a brother. And he teased me like a sister. I get my make up done and then it was time to go. I felt a pit in my stomach. "Hey Clarissa…you okay? If they come over to bother you I'll punch them. I got your back."
"Thanks Ryan but I don't think punching is the answer. Just warn me if they are heading over. Then I'll run."
"That's a good plan! We will do that!" I smile at him. And look out the window. We had to get there early because we were interviewers. I step out and Ryan grabs my hand. We are told were to go and then we set up. Wires and microphones are taken out, cameras setup, and Ryan gets our list of who we are interviewing. I walk over and look. One Direction is our last interview of the night. I just want to cry…I'm not mad or angry just exhausted of all this. Ryan looks from the list to me. "Its okay Ry…I can be professional…it's them we have to worry about."

---

Niall's POV
We get there and are handed this list which Liam snatches right out of my hand. I hear him swear under his breath. I grab the sheet and see that it is a list of interviews. And our last one is with Clary. I can't help but smile. I wonder if she is here already. I look around really quick and can't see over the sea of people. Of course having crutches does not help me. Ellie and Perrie are talking about the wedding plans. While the rest of us answer questions. Mostly mine were about my surgery and if I will be recovered in time the Where We Are Tour. Which is a yes, I will be healed by then. I hate the questions that Harry gets the most though. Him and Kendall were not romantically involved at all. Harry went on one date with her and he said that he almost died from stupidity. Which is saying something because Harry can say some pretty stupid shit. We were getting towards the end and I spotted her. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. She look amazing. Of course she did…this is Clary we are talking about.

"She should be down shortly Niall. You look lovely by the way." Clary's mom smiled at me. I smiled back but I was nervous. Well I always was whenever Clary was around. I'm sitting on her couch, bouncing my legs up and down. I hear her door shut and I turn to look. I stand up as she descends the stairs. God…I am the luckiest guy at school. She is wearing a short cobalt blue dress. It was pretty simple the sparkle wasn't overdone. Her hairs was curled and pinned to the side. She looked amazing. She smiled at me and I felt my throat go dry. Every time I look at her I get so nervous. Like I'm afraid that she will just leave. She walks over and kisses my cheek. "Could you wear suits all the time?"
"If that's what you want then sure." She giggled and lead me outside to take pictures. This was the beginning of the best night of my life.

Harry was poking me and looking at me like I was high. I quickly came back to reality. I looked at everyone. They were looking at me for an answer. "I'm sorry what?" Everyone laughed and the lady repeated her question. I answered of course. It was a stupid question again. I looked back over at Clary. God I never wanted to look away. Then I hear Perrie and Ellie gasp. I look back and see them staring at Clary too. Ellie's face scrunched up but Perrie looked happy. I look and see Liam staring down Clary too. But not like how Perrie was…more like how I was. She was our next interview. We made our way over and Perrie just tackled her. "CALI!!! Oh my gosh! You look incredible! What the hell are ya doing here?" Clary just smiled while Ryan looked like he was lost again.
"I work for Radio One…Nice to see you Perrie. Hi Eleanor." Liam made his way by her and whispered something in her ear that made her laugh. The cute one that I loved where she snorted a bit. Yep…that laugh. The laugh that I learned to love. The laugh that I would have killed to hear these past years. And Liam is the one he made her laugh…not me. I moved to I was on the other side of her. Ryan went between her and Liam. Thank you Ryan! Perrie and Ellie stayed. Ellie glared at Clary. Then Louis pulled her to the side and I think explained things to her. I was watching that go down but I still noticed Clary steal a look at me out of the corner of my eye. She smiled and looked away. Harry was looking from me to Clary. Perrie looked absolutely thrilled to have Clary back. I leaned over to her and whispered just for her to hear. "You look good baby." She just snorted and shot me a 'shut the fuck up' glare. I just smiled at her. Then she looked at Liam who seemed a bit worried. Why the fuck is he worried?! I look from him to Clary back to him. Ellie comes back over and just hugs Clary. She just stands there until Ellie lets go. "Its so good to have you back! Oh my gosh we have to do a girl's weekend. So we can catch up with all of you! I’m sorry that I wrongly judged you Clary."
"Its alright Eleanor…alright Ry lets get this over with…my feet hurt." Ryan just laughed and the interview went okay. Clary leaned on Ryan a bit because of her feet I think. Then it was time to go. Liam stayed behind a bit so I did too. He said something again that made her laugh and playfully hit his chest. I fucking hate him…well not really but still. Liam left and Clary slipped out of her shoes. I hobbled on over. "Clary…could we--"
"Don't you have awards to get? I have to go find where Ryan and I will be sitting. It was nice to see you again. Um…good luck. Don't break your other leg." Then she grabbed her shoes and disappeared into the crowd. I went to our table and hers was right by ours. YES! I look and Liam is sitting so he is facing her and she is facing him. So I sit right by Liam. Harry sits by me. Ellie and Perrie go over and talk to Clary for a bit. Zayn looks at them and smiles. "Glad to see the girls are getting along. Perrie was going to invite her to the wedding anyways but now maybe she will be a bridesmaid." Everyone just smiles but I know what we are all thinking. 'Why isn't she like this with us?' I think it is because we started the whole thing. We ditched her first then the girls heard and followed our suit. Plus I think Clary likes to see us squirm a bit. I look over at her and she is making a weird face. Then Liam chuckles and shakes his head. I pound my drink and grab another. Harry looks at me with worry but I just wave him off. The girls come back and they are smiling. Ryan and Clary were busy in convo, Harry seemed to have vanished and Liam has cut me off from the drinks. So I just have water. Which is so lame. The night flies by with a blur. After our third award, I spot Clary get up and go somewhere. So I follow her. I'm having a harder time with these fucking crutches. She takes her shoes off and continues. Where is she going? She rounds another corner. "Well fuck!" I stop and she comes back around and almost runs right into me.
"Niall! Jesus what are you doing?" She looks at me. All I can think about is wrapping her up in my arms and holding her.
"Following you…are you lost?" She glares and me then tries to get around me. But I stop her.
"No I am not lost! I am going to the bathroom!" She tries again but I manage to stop her again.
"You're going the wrong way. Come on." I start to move away and look back at her. She sighs but scrambles after me. She falls into step with me. Not walking too fast but not too slow either. Just right so she isn't ahead of me. I point to the bathroom and she just mumbles thanks. I sit down on the bench and wait for her. She comes back out and rolls her eyes when she sees me still there. But she comes and sits down by me. I slide my crutches off my arms and scoot closer. My heart is beating so fast. "Clary…I just have one question…"
"Lay it on me Horan." I wince at the statement. She used to call me by my last name back when she didn't really like me. I sigh and run my hand through my hair. I look at her and she looks back. I notice that her eyes aren't as green as I remember. They are darker now. She gets up and I grab her waist and pull her onto my lap. "What the fuck Niall! Let. Me. Go." She sounded super angry.
"Clary…could we try being friends? I know that guys miss you…I just think that it would be nice for us." She pries herself out of my grasp I quickly stand up and grab my crutches.
"Niall I don't know. We've already tried this…it didn't end well." I felt like she was rejecting me again.
"This isn't about us Clary! I just want you back in my life…we all do." She turns and looks at me then walks away. I go after her. I grab her arm and pull her into me. I just hug her like how I've dreamed about. And she wraps her arms around my neck. "Please Clary…"
"Goodbye Niall…this is for the best really." I was starting to cry.
"For the best? For who Clary? You?! Its always been about what's best for you. What about me? The boys?" She seemed shocked by my outburst. She shakes her head. But I just keep on going. "Not only that but apparently you and Liam are all buddy-buddy now! Do you know what that is doing to me? To him? Its slowly killing me!! Just for once step back and stop being so self-centered!!" I look at her and there are tears streaming down her face. I step towards her then she slaps me. Hard.
"I hate you." Then she wipes her tears and runs away. I think I just fucked up even bigger than the last time. Nicole…I still have her number. I quickly dial her number. "Niall Horan…well well well, what do you want?"
"Where does Clary live? Please this is important." I hear her sigh. She's thinking this over, whether to help me and run the risk of Clary exploding on her or not helping me.
"Fine I'll tell you." Then she rattles it off. I know where that is. I go to my car and tell my driver were to go. I get there and head up. I sit outside her door. The elevator opens and out comes her and Ryan. I stand up and look at her. I sobered up a lot during the drive over here. Ryan looks pissed. "Ryan go in with Penny. I'll handle this." Ryan walks past me but I hear him mumble 'Asshole'. I did deserve that. She walks over and folds her arms.
"What do you want now Niall? Come to insult me more?"
"No! I'm sorry…what I said back there…I'm sorry."

---

Clary's POV
He's sorry? He's got a right to be sorry. Those words hurt me more than I expected. It hurt more since it came from him. He looked at me. I changed back into what I was wearing before. Then I realized I was wearing his sweatshirt.
"Is that my sweatshirt Clary?" He was grinning at me. That stupid cocky grin he gets when he knows the answer. The grin that lights up his eyes. They were still the stunning blue that I remember getting lost in all too easily.
"Maybe it is? What's it to you?"
"Nothing just I forgot how hot you looked in my clothes." I felt my whole face heat up. I hate him.
"Oh shut it Horan. Its comfy so I wear it. What do you want?"
"You." I look at him like he sprouted two heads. HE WHAT? My phone buzzed and it was Liam.

Liam: Hey so um…Niall went off somewhere idk where but heads up. Oh you also looked amazing…you always do. :)

I smile and look up to see Niall frowning. I try to move past him signaling that this conversation was over but he pushed me up against the wall. I don't hate him…I hate how my body can't forget him or that my mind always thinks about him. He's like a curse. So good but so bad for me. He is looking at me…then he rests his forehead on mine. "Clary…we are not over. I will fight for you until the day I die." Then he kisses me. It’s a slow one this time. When he breaks it I find myself wanting more. He still has me pinned. He leans in again and I close my eyes out of habit, waiting for the next kiss. But I don't get one. I feel his breathe by my ear. "Until the next time my love." Then he left me standing in a hallway dazed again. He really should stop doing that. But I had a bone to pick with Nicole. I pound on her door then I realize the time. It was well past the time she would be up. I groan then go to my place. I walk right past the living room, waving at Ryan and Penny. I flop down on my bed. I decide to text Liam back. Tomorrow was Saturday. And I was performing at the café.

Me: Thanks Payno. Hey what are you doing tomorrow? I have a lovely idea. :)
Liam: Nothing…Niall didn't bother you right?
Me: No more than usual. I'm fine. So you're free tomorrow night?
Liam: Okay…if you say so. And yep completely free. What are we doing?
Me: It’s a surprise. And only you can come okay? Promise me.
Liam: Fine I promise. I'm going to bed…I think I drank too much. See you tomorrow babe.
Me: Goodnight Liam!

I plug in my phone and get ready for bed. I really liked hanging out with Liam. It was so easy and familiar. I closed my eyes and slowly fell asleep. I was more exhausted than I thought.

Notes

Oh man oh man...What is Liam doing?! But more importantly what is Clary thinking?!

Anyways I love the comments so keep them coming!! :) I love to know what you guys are thinking! Love you guys so much. You are the bomb.
~A xxx