Heartbeat
Goodbyes are never easy
"So how are things with Zayn going so far?" Kayla asks as we walk through Jack Wills.
"Frustrating. The other day I walked into the bathroom while he was getting into the shower and I saw a full view of his ass! It's so hard being around him when he's THAT attractive." I sigh.
Kayla giggles. "Have you told him how you felt yet?" I told Kayla last week about me being in love with him, and she's been pressing me to tell him how I feel, but I don't think it's the time.
"No, I haven't."
"So when are you going to tell him? You shouldn't wait too long, you are leaving tomorrow."
I sigh. "I know. But me and Zayn have become such great friends these past couple of weeks, I don't want to complicate things."
"Suit yourself, but you'll regret not telling him."
*****
After me and Kayla spent our last day together, I come back to Zayn's place and he's watching TV on the couch.
"Hey babe! How was your day?" Zayn asks smiling.
"It was good, I'm tired though." I reply plopping down next to him on the couch. "You know, I'm gonna miss you." I tell him staring at the hard wood floors of his living room.
"These past couple of weeks have been amazing, and I've met such incredible people, including yourself." I feel his stare and look into his eyes now.
"Me too babe, I'm gonna miss having you around. You've grown on me, and especially Billie is going to miss you." He laughs looking at Billie sleeping in his doggy bed across the room.
"Zayn, I have to tell you something." I shift on the couch so I can look at him directly.
"What is it love, are you okay?" He asks concerned.
"I'm fine. It's just, I want you to know that when you kissed me at the hotel I didn't run out because I didn't want to be with you, I ran out because I was falling in love with you. Well, I am in love with you. Even though we hardly know each other, no one has cared about me more than you, no one has ever made me feel the way I feel when I'm with you. I can have the most shitty day and I'll see you then my mood changes, I'm happy. When I'm with you I feel whole, I feel secure, I feel safe. And I know this complicates things, but I just wanted to tell you how truly happy you've made me, so thank you. I really am going to miss you, more than you'll ever know. " I tell him, tears starting to roll down my cheek, unto my chin then drops right on my chest by my heart. Zayn reaches over and with the pad of his thumb he wipes the tear that has fallen on my chest, he puts his hand over my heart and he grabs my hand and puts it over his.
"Riana, you feel that?" I nod. "Like I said when we first met on the plane, my heart beats for you. I know this sounds cliche but from the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew I loved you. Spending the time I have with you, I could never imagine spending with anyone else. I love you, I will always love you." Zayn leans in and gently places his lips upon mine. Our lips move in sync and I savor the moment of pure bliss, tasting his minty breath with a slight hint of tobacco, the smell of his Gucci cologne. I run my fingertips up his arms and lock my fingers in place around his neck. He slowly and gently lays me down on the couch treating me like I'm delicate China. Our kiss grows hungry, full of passion and lust. We're now just in our undergarments, as he reaches behind my back to unhook my bra I stop him.
"I'm sorry babe, we don't have do if you don't want to." He slowly moves away, but I pull him back.
"That's not it, I want to... But, I know we're young. I'm moving back to Hawaii, you live here. We both have careers we need to focus on and I know that it would be hard for this relationship to work." He nods his head, understanding what I'm saying. "I wish we could work, but the reality of it is, we need time before we could actually be together in a relationship. We need to mature a little and get our lives situated first."
"I'll show you how much I love you. I will remember every curve of your body, if you let me." He says running his cool fingertips up and down my waist, I shudder at his touch.
"Make love to me? As a goodbye?" I look at him, he stares at me for a second. Tears start to well in his eyes, so do mine. I quickly kiss him again wanting to feel his touch for what would be the last time.
After making sweet passionate love I turn over and see Zayn already staring. I gently start tracing the tattoos on his chest and he grabs my hand, kissing my fingertips. He locks eyes with me again and pulls me on top of him putting my ear against his chest, I listen to his heart beating, it's the most beautiful sound my ears would ever hear.
"Babe?" Zayn asks, I lift my head and put my chin on his chest so I can look at him.
"I want you to know that you weren't just some girl I slept with, I really love you. You mean more to me than anyone ever has, and more than anyone ever will in the future. Even if I marry someone else, and even if you do, you'll always have a special place in my heart and I will never forget this night, never. I will always love you, Riana. Never forget that." Zayn says kissing my forehead.
I place my hand over his heart. "I promise you, I never will forget this, or you. I will always love you, you will always have a piece of my heart with you. I'll always love you Zayn Malik." I kiss him one more time, then I climb off of him and cuddle into his side as he wraps his arm around my waist. I just want to be here forever with him, but reality is, I can't. So I will remember this night forever, I will remember every detail, I never want to forget this moment and the way I feel.
I wake up the next morning in Zayn's arms, feeling his warm breath against the back of my neck. I slowly turn around wanting to take one last look at him before I leave today. "He is so beautiful." I say to myself. Zayn slowly flutters his eyes open and we just stare into each others eyes, not saying a word. I give him a lingering kiss as my way of saying I need to get up, and he understands. I get up from his bed, already wanting to climb back in to the warm duvet covers next to my love again, but I can't. I make my way to the shower, feeling depression take over me.
As I finish packing the rest of my bags, me and Zayn still not speaking a word to each other I go into his room finding him sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the ground. He hears me and looks up, sadness and tears in his eyes. I walk between his legs and lift his chin up making him look at me, wanting to take one last mental picture of his gorgeous eyes that I swear put me in a spell whenever I look into them. He leans up and kisses me one last time, he stands up and gives me a long hug. I unwillingly break away from it hearing the cab horn blaring outside. I take out my ponytail, grabbing a hair tie placing it on his right wrist. I want him to have something of mine so he will always remember me. I spin on my heel and walk out, leaving Zayn in his room.
On the plane ride, I can't help but cry my eyes out remembering everything that has happened. I am so sad to have left, but yet in my heart I know what happened between me and Zayn was special. The beautiful thing was, me and Zayn never needed words to describe our love, we just felt it. That love, is the most rare.
*****
4 years later...
I smile seeing my best friend having her first dance with her now husband. Yes, Kayla married Harry. After I left London 4 years ago, she stayed there with Harry and they eventually moved in together, got engaged, and now, married. She looks so beautiful, so happy, so,in love. My eyes quickly fixating on the couples going on the dance floor to join them, it's a beautiful sight. I feel someone looking at me, and I know that stare, Zayn. I scan the room and lock eyes with him, those beautiful eyes that even after 4 years, I never forgot them. He immediately smiles, so do I. Then I see her, his girlfriend. His attention turns back to her, and he lovingly smiles down. His sleeve rides up a little and my heart skips seeing he still has it, the hair tie. He never removed it. I watch them and smile, I'm happy for them. After I went back home to Hawaii, me and Zayn hadn't kept in touch. About 9 months after I left, I got a text from him saying "I miss you xx". 5 months later I called him one evening and we talked for about 4 hours, we both eventually fell asleep on the phone together. And that was it, I didn't really want to have communication with him after that night in London, I don't think he did either. It would have been too hard to handle remaining in touch with someone you loved so much. We both would have caved in to our desires and we would have ended up together which wasn't right for us. Of course I wanted to be with him and spend my life with him, and I knew he wanted the same, but for some reason it wasn't ever the right time. Maybe it was fate for us not to be together, but then again, maybe it is fate for us to be together in the future. Who knows? A few years down the line, we may cross paths again and live happily ever after, maybe not. As for now, I'm single and content with my life, I'm happy, and I know Zayn is too. I never regret those 3 weeks spent with Zayn, I especially will never regret that night we spent together, that night was love at it's truest, it will always remain fresh in my memory. And something that I will never, ever forget is the sound of his heartbeat.
"Frustrating. The other day I walked into the bathroom while he was getting into the shower and I saw a full view of his ass! It's so hard being around him when he's THAT attractive." I sigh.
Kayla giggles. "Have you told him how you felt yet?" I told Kayla last week about me being in love with him, and she's been pressing me to tell him how I feel, but I don't think it's the time.
"No, I haven't."
"So when are you going to tell him? You shouldn't wait too long, you are leaving tomorrow."
I sigh. "I know. But me and Zayn have become such great friends these past couple of weeks, I don't want to complicate things."
"Suit yourself, but you'll regret not telling him."
*****
After me and Kayla spent our last day together, I come back to Zayn's place and he's watching TV on the couch.
"Hey babe! How was your day?" Zayn asks smiling.
"It was good, I'm tired though." I reply plopping down next to him on the couch. "You know, I'm gonna miss you." I tell him staring at the hard wood floors of his living room.
"These past couple of weeks have been amazing, and I've met such incredible people, including yourself." I feel his stare and look into his eyes now.
"Me too babe, I'm gonna miss having you around. You've grown on me, and especially Billie is going to miss you." He laughs looking at Billie sleeping in his doggy bed across the room.
"Zayn, I have to tell you something." I shift on the couch so I can look at him directly.
"What is it love, are you okay?" He asks concerned.
"I'm fine. It's just, I want you to know that when you kissed me at the hotel I didn't run out because I didn't want to be with you, I ran out because I was falling in love with you. Well, I am in love with you. Even though we hardly know each other, no one has cared about me more than you, no one has ever made me feel the way I feel when I'm with you. I can have the most shitty day and I'll see you then my mood changes, I'm happy. When I'm with you I feel whole, I feel secure, I feel safe. And I know this complicates things, but I just wanted to tell you how truly happy you've made me, so thank you. I really am going to miss you, more than you'll ever know. " I tell him, tears starting to roll down my cheek, unto my chin then drops right on my chest by my heart. Zayn reaches over and with the pad of his thumb he wipes the tear that has fallen on my chest, he puts his hand over my heart and he grabs my hand and puts it over his.
"Riana, you feel that?" I nod. "Like I said when we first met on the plane, my heart beats for you. I know this sounds cliche but from the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew I loved you. Spending the time I have with you, I could never imagine spending with anyone else. I love you, I will always love you." Zayn leans in and gently places his lips upon mine. Our lips move in sync and I savor the moment of pure bliss, tasting his minty breath with a slight hint of tobacco, the smell of his Gucci cologne. I run my fingertips up his arms and lock my fingers in place around his neck. He slowly and gently lays me down on the couch treating me like I'm delicate China. Our kiss grows hungry, full of passion and lust. We're now just in our undergarments, as he reaches behind my back to unhook my bra I stop him.
"I'm sorry babe, we don't have do if you don't want to." He slowly moves away, but I pull him back.
"That's not it, I want to... But, I know we're young. I'm moving back to Hawaii, you live here. We both have careers we need to focus on and I know that it would be hard for this relationship to work." He nods his head, understanding what I'm saying. "I wish we could work, but the reality of it is, we need time before we could actually be together in a relationship. We need to mature a little and get our lives situated first."
"I'll show you how much I love you. I will remember every curve of your body, if you let me." He says running his cool fingertips up and down my waist, I shudder at his touch.
"Make love to me? As a goodbye?" I look at him, he stares at me for a second. Tears start to well in his eyes, so do mine. I quickly kiss him again wanting to feel his touch for what would be the last time.
After making sweet passionate love I turn over and see Zayn already staring. I gently start tracing the tattoos on his chest and he grabs my hand, kissing my fingertips. He locks eyes with me again and pulls me on top of him putting my ear against his chest, I listen to his heart beating, it's the most beautiful sound my ears would ever hear.
"Babe?" Zayn asks, I lift my head and put my chin on his chest so I can look at him.
"I want you to know that you weren't just some girl I slept with, I really love you. You mean more to me than anyone ever has, and more than anyone ever will in the future. Even if I marry someone else, and even if you do, you'll always have a special place in my heart and I will never forget this night, never. I will always love you, Riana. Never forget that." Zayn says kissing my forehead.
I place my hand over his heart. "I promise you, I never will forget this, or you. I will always love you, you will always have a piece of my heart with you. I'll always love you Zayn Malik." I kiss him one more time, then I climb off of him and cuddle into his side as he wraps his arm around my waist. I just want to be here forever with him, but reality is, I can't. So I will remember this night forever, I will remember every detail, I never want to forget this moment and the way I feel.
I wake up the next morning in Zayn's arms, feeling his warm breath against the back of my neck. I slowly turn around wanting to take one last look at him before I leave today. "He is so beautiful." I say to myself. Zayn slowly flutters his eyes open and we just stare into each others eyes, not saying a word. I give him a lingering kiss as my way of saying I need to get up, and he understands. I get up from his bed, already wanting to climb back in to the warm duvet covers next to my love again, but I can't. I make my way to the shower, feeling depression take over me.
As I finish packing the rest of my bags, me and Zayn still not speaking a word to each other I go into his room finding him sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the ground. He hears me and looks up, sadness and tears in his eyes. I walk between his legs and lift his chin up making him look at me, wanting to take one last mental picture of his gorgeous eyes that I swear put me in a spell whenever I look into them. He leans up and kisses me one last time, he stands up and gives me a long hug. I unwillingly break away from it hearing the cab horn blaring outside. I take out my ponytail, grabbing a hair tie placing it on his right wrist. I want him to have something of mine so he will always remember me. I spin on my heel and walk out, leaving Zayn in his room.
On the plane ride, I can't help but cry my eyes out remembering everything that has happened. I am so sad to have left, but yet in my heart I know what happened between me and Zayn was special. The beautiful thing was, me and Zayn never needed words to describe our love, we just felt it. That love, is the most rare.
*****
4 years later...
I smile seeing my best friend having her first dance with her now husband. Yes, Kayla married Harry. After I left London 4 years ago, she stayed there with Harry and they eventually moved in together, got engaged, and now, married. She looks so beautiful, so happy, so,in love. My eyes quickly fixating on the couples going on the dance floor to join them, it's a beautiful sight. I feel someone looking at me, and I know that stare, Zayn. I scan the room and lock eyes with him, those beautiful eyes that even after 4 years, I never forgot them. He immediately smiles, so do I. Then I see her, his girlfriend. His attention turns back to her, and he lovingly smiles down. His sleeve rides up a little and my heart skips seeing he still has it, the hair tie. He never removed it. I watch them and smile, I'm happy for them. After I went back home to Hawaii, me and Zayn hadn't kept in touch. About 9 months after I left, I got a text from him saying "I miss you xx". 5 months later I called him one evening and we talked for about 4 hours, we both eventually fell asleep on the phone together. And that was it, I didn't really want to have communication with him after that night in London, I don't think he did either. It would have been too hard to handle remaining in touch with someone you loved so much. We both would have caved in to our desires and we would have ended up together which wasn't right for us. Of course I wanted to be with him and spend my life with him, and I knew he wanted the same, but for some reason it wasn't ever the right time. Maybe it was fate for us not to be together, but then again, maybe it is fate for us to be together in the future. Who knows? A few years down the line, we may cross paths again and live happily ever after, maybe not. As for now, I'm single and content with my life, I'm happy, and I know Zayn is too. I never regret those 3 weeks spent with Zayn, I especially will never regret that night we spent together, that night was love at it's truest, it will always remain fresh in my memory. And something that I will never, ever forget is the sound of his heartbeat.
