Heartbeat
Hello, London
"Riana? Riana? Rianaaaaaa? C'mon Riana wake up!" Kayla shakes my arm
I groan "What?!" I say with my raspy morning voice.
"We landed, c'mon everyone is getting off, let's go!" She says excitedly.
As I get up from my seat I look back to see if Zayn and his friends are still there, nope. They're gone.
"Must have been a dream" I say to myself.
"Um, Riana?" Kayla asks.
"Yeah?"
"Why are there hair ties all over the ground?" Kayla asks cocking an eyebrow.
I laugh "Okay, I guess all what happened was real." I think.
"Oh, um, I'll tell you when we get in the cab." I say.
After I told her the story about Zayn and everything that happened on the flight she pulled out her phone and hadhundreds of photos of him, and the other guys. I knew she talked about One Direction, but I had never really seen any photos of them nor did I pay much attention to her when she would rant about them for hours to me.
"I still cannot believe you met One Direction! Oh my God that is crazy! Do you know how lucky you are?! Did you see Harry?! What did he look like?! Did he see me sleeping?! Oh God, what if he seen me drool in my sleep or something!" Kayla says while walking into our hotel room that we would be sharing for the next 2 weeks.
"Kayla! Relax, please. I'm sure he didn't see you sleeping, and even if he did you weren't drooling." I chuckle.
"Maybe I shouldn't have told her anything, she'll keep bugging me about this for the next two weeks I just know it." I shrug to myself.
"I hope so." She says while standing up from the bed. "Look, I'm starving so I'm gonna go look for something to eat downstairs. You should go take a shower, I know I'd need one after seeing their gorgeous faces." She jokes.
"HA-HA very funny." I say while grabbing some clean clothes from my suitcase.
"Alright, I'm gonna go. I'll be back in a little while!" She says while heading out of the door.
"Okay, bye!" I yell while starting up the shower
*****
After I got out of the shower it was 8:30 P.M. and she still had not returned to the room yet. "Weird." I think. "It's been an hour already." I just shrug it off and bring my laptop out of my messenger bag with the rest of my notes and decide to get some work done while I wait for Kayla to come back.
About 20 minutes later she bursts through the door without any food to much of my dismay, but the look on her face seems like she's seen a ghost.
"Kay, are you alright?!" I ask concerned, I had never seen her like this before.
"Oh my God! I met him! Harry Styles! THE Harry Styles!" She yells while her hands are trembling.
"Really?! Here?! How?! When?!"
She paces back and forth. "Okay, so I went downstairs to get some food right so as I'm getting on the elevator Harry jumps on with me! Oh God he is sooo much hotter in person! And literally I almost died but I tried to remain calm because we wouldn't want him thinking I'm some crazy fangirl. So anyway, then he asked me what I was doing so I told him then he offered me to get something to eat with him so we went to the kitchen and got some sandwiches then went back to his room and that's where I've been for the past 2 hours!" She says almost out of breath.
"Harry is staying at this hotel?!" I ask.
"Yes! His hotel room is right above ours." She whispers pointing to the ceiling.
"I'm so happy for you!" I say while hugging her. I really am happy for her, she deserves this.
"That's not the best part!" She says with a huge grin.
"What?!" I ask excitedly.
"He asked me out tomorrow night!!" She said, I was speechless.
"Wow, really? That's amazing girl!" I told her while she jumps on the edge of her bed.
"Yup! So I'm gonna go look for something nice to wear for tomorrow evening. Ahh! I cannot believe this! I just oh my God, this is amazing" She cheers while jumping off of the bed.
I walk back to my paperwork. "It can wait till tomorrow." I think. I was feeling incredibly jet lagged.
"I'm gonna get to bed, I'm tired." I tell Kayla as I yawn.
"Goodnight!" She says while I turn off my bedside lamp.
*****
The next morning I wake up to a hairbrush hitting my back.
"What the fuck?!" I yell while ripping the duvet covers off of me.
"Shit, sorry!" Kayla says while rummaging through her suitcases "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. But what are you doing?" I ask while walking through the scattered items of clothing all over the floor.
"I was up all night, and I still cannot find anything to wear!" She says running her hands through her hair in frustration.
"You were up all night looking for an outfit to wear tonight? Gee, this Harry guy must mean a lot to you." I say walking over to my suitcase.
"Yes, he does. So please help me! I need to go shopping or something! Hey, where are you going?"
"Wait." I tell her. "Here." I hand her my outfit I was supposed to wear to the boys concert, but she could use it more than me, this is important to her.
"THIS IS PERFECT!" She yells while hugging me "Thanks so much Ri, I promise I won't get it stained or anything. I love you!" She hugs me again.
I chuckle "It's fine, babe. I hope you have fun tonight" I smile.
"Oh believe me, I will." She winks.
*****
I just finished eating my room service dinner when I hear a knock at the door.
"Riana, can you get that? It's Harry and I'm not ready yet, I still need to put my lipstick on!" Kayla tells me while sticking her head out of the bathroom door. "Pleeeeeeeese?" She says in a baby voice.
I sigh. "Fine."
I open the door and see a tall, curly haired green eyed boy with dimples.
"Hello!" Harry says, smiling.
I return the smile "Hi, Kayla is almost finished, come in." I open the door wider and Harry walks past me.
"Hey, aren't you the girl on the plane yesterday?" Harry asks while turning around.
I laugh. "Yeah that was me." He was about to say something else but Kayla walked into the room. "Okay I'm ready. Hi Harry!" Kayla smiles while walking towards us.
"Wow, you look stunning babe." Harry smirks while I see Kayla's cheeks turning bright red. I silently chuckle.
She smiles. "Thank you. I'm assuming you two have already met?" Kayla questions while looking at both of us.
"Yes we have. Now you two better get going, don't want to miss dinner." I say.
"Right! Okay, well see you later on RiRi" Kayla hugs me while she whispering "Don't wait up for me" she winks while heading over to Harry who is holding open the door for her.
"I won't" I laugh "Bye guys!" I say as they close the door.
"Bye!" They both say in unison.
I pad my way to the door and lock it then walk back to my laptop. I smile to myself thinking about how ecstatic Kayla must be right now but I can't help but have this sadness overcome me. To be honest, I was quite envious that Kayla was always able to hold down a job, school, and maintain a relationship all at once. I mean, how was she able to do that, but I wasn't? What was so different about me that when I was juggling too many things at once they'd all go to shit?
As these thoughts enter my mind I feel the room becoming smaller so I decide to step out onto the balcony needing some fresh air. As soon as I open the sliding door to the balcony I feel the cool London breeze touch my face, I see the beautiful city lights of London and I see so many people walking the street. Seeing all of them, I can't help but feel so alone. My thoughts go back to being back home in Hawaii, waking up every morning and walking along the beach feeling the cold dewy sand between my toes and the warm morning sun on my skin. My life back home used to be so carefree, no worries or stress until I decided my career would have to take me to LA, that's when things got complicated. My parents were never happy with my decision to leave the island, and to be honest, I wasn't happy with my decision to leave either. I guess I just felt living in Hawaii with the career I wanted wouldn't get me anywhere, I needed to venture out if I wanted to succeed. But living in LA for the past year has been hell. I miss home everyday, I miss my friends and family. The stresses to pay my rent and bills on time, and keeping my mind on work 24/7, I hardly had time to let my hair down and have fun anymore. I am so lucky to have Kayla, she has always been there for me no matter what. But a lot of the times I found myself becoming jealous of how easy life was for her, as opposed to me.
Sometimes, I look in the mirror and don't even recognize the person staring back at me anymore. Moving to LA and the way my job is has turned me into this serious workaholic and I feel like sometimes I have no heart. It's like I left my heart in Hawaii, and it's still there waiting to be returned to it's rightful owner.
These thoughts go through my mind and I feel the tears start to well up in my eyes, I blink and one single hot tear rolls down my cheek. I don't know how or why but I thought about Zayn and it comforted me for a second. I remembered what happened yesterday on the plane and the feeling of his smooth warm skin against my fingertips, the way his giant hand covered over mine, his hair, eyes, smile and last but not least, the feeling of his heartbeat against my hand. I feel more tears running down my face now just thinking of how childish it was to run away from him yesterday during such a beautiful moment. Truth is, I was scared that in the first time in my life, I had actually connected with someone on a deeper level besides physical attraction.
"Babe, you okay?" I hear that familiar deep British accent say. I turn to my right and on the balcony next to mine I see Zayn poking his head out from the corner of the wall. I quickly wipe my tears with the back of my jumper sleeve.
"Zayn?" I ask
"Hey, you remembered." He laughs, so do I. "Um, so are you alright?" He asks taking a drag of his cigarette. "How long has he been out here?" I think
"Yeah I'm fine, just uh, allergies." I tell him. "Allergies? Really Riana? That's the best you can come up with?" I tell myself.
He chuckles "You can do better than that, what do you think, I'm some 5 year old who throws our hairstylists hair ties at a pretty girls head to get her attention?" "Oh yeah, the airplane." I remember.
"It's just, I was thinking about some things I shouldn't be thinking of." I confess.
"Like what?" He asks.
I ponder telling him for a second, "I don't think I should be discussing this with you." I tell him.
"Look, if this is about what happened on the plane I'm-"
"It's not about that." I interrupt him.
"Then what is it?"
I look at him. "It's just, I know who you are. And I'm the journalist doing the review for your band at this Saturdays concert. I don't think it would be good to mix any personal business with my clients. It wouldn't be appropriate." I tell him.
He nods his head. "I understand, love. Well, if you ever need someone to talk to, this is where I'll be staying until the concert." He tells me with a half smile.
"Thank you, that's very sweet of you." I smile turning to walk back into my room.
"Oh, and Riana."
"Mm?" I crane my neck.
"Just because I'm your client" He says while using air quotes "doesn't mean you can't confide in me. I know how hard it is to have a job that can be pretty demanding at times and you just feel alone and you want someone to just listen and be there for you. I promise, I wouldn't tell anyone. I'm just here to listen, okay?" He tells me. I can feel the tears welling in my eyes again Dammit Riana, why are you so emotional tonight?!
"Thank you Zayn, I don't know what to say." I tell him. And it's right, I don't know what to say. No one has ever been concerned about me like this. I mean, my family and friends get concerned about me, but I've become a master at hiding my feelings, I just put a smile on my face and make like everything is okay.
"I mean it." He says. "I'm right here if you ever need me. Goodnight, Riana." He says with a smile while walking back into his room.
"Goodnight." I whisper, barely audible.
I walk back into my room, turn off the light, and pull the duvet covers up to my chin. I look out of the window at the city lights again and feel my eye lids start to get heavier. My eyes slowly start to close and my thoughts drift off to Zayn. I can feel my heart start to flutter whenever I think about him. Truth is, I haven't been able to stop thinking about him since what happened yesterday.
As I drift off to sleep, with thoughts of Zayn clouding my mind, I know that I am slowly falling for this man. And I couldn't help but wonder if he feels the same way about me.
I groan "What?!" I say with my raspy morning voice.
"We landed, c'mon everyone is getting off, let's go!" She says excitedly.
As I get up from my seat I look back to see if Zayn and his friends are still there, nope. They're gone.
"Must have been a dream" I say to myself.
"Um, Riana?" Kayla asks.
"Yeah?"
"Why are there hair ties all over the ground?" Kayla asks cocking an eyebrow.
I laugh "Okay, I guess all what happened was real." I think.
"Oh, um, I'll tell you when we get in the cab." I say.
After I told her the story about Zayn and everything that happened on the flight she pulled out her phone and hadhundreds of photos of him, and the other guys. I knew she talked about One Direction, but I had never really seen any photos of them nor did I pay much attention to her when she would rant about them for hours to me.
"I still cannot believe you met One Direction! Oh my God that is crazy! Do you know how lucky you are?! Did you see Harry?! What did he look like?! Did he see me sleeping?! Oh God, what if he seen me drool in my sleep or something!" Kayla says while walking into our hotel room that we would be sharing for the next 2 weeks.
"Kayla! Relax, please. I'm sure he didn't see you sleeping, and even if he did you weren't drooling." I chuckle.
"Maybe I shouldn't have told her anything, she'll keep bugging me about this for the next two weeks I just know it." I shrug to myself.
"I hope so." She says while standing up from the bed. "Look, I'm starving so I'm gonna go look for something to eat downstairs. You should go take a shower, I know I'd need one after seeing their gorgeous faces." She jokes.
"HA-HA very funny." I say while grabbing some clean clothes from my suitcase.
"Alright, I'm gonna go. I'll be back in a little while!" She says while heading out of the door.
"Okay, bye!" I yell while starting up the shower
*****
After I got out of the shower it was 8:30 P.M. and she still had not returned to the room yet. "Weird." I think. "It's been an hour already." I just shrug it off and bring my laptop out of my messenger bag with the rest of my notes and decide to get some work done while I wait for Kayla to come back.
About 20 minutes later she bursts through the door without any food to much of my dismay, but the look on her face seems like she's seen a ghost.
"Kay, are you alright?!" I ask concerned, I had never seen her like this before.
"Oh my God! I met him! Harry Styles! THE Harry Styles!" She yells while her hands are trembling.
"Really?! Here?! How?! When?!"
She paces back and forth. "Okay, so I went downstairs to get some food right so as I'm getting on the elevator Harry jumps on with me! Oh God he is sooo much hotter in person! And literally I almost died but I tried to remain calm because we wouldn't want him thinking I'm some crazy fangirl. So anyway, then he asked me what I was doing so I told him then he offered me to get something to eat with him so we went to the kitchen and got some sandwiches then went back to his room and that's where I've been for the past 2 hours!" She says almost out of breath.
"Harry is staying at this hotel?!" I ask.
"Yes! His hotel room is right above ours." She whispers pointing to the ceiling.
"I'm so happy for you!" I say while hugging her. I really am happy for her, she deserves this.
"That's not the best part!" She says with a huge grin.
"What?!" I ask excitedly.
"He asked me out tomorrow night!!" She said, I was speechless.
"Wow, really? That's amazing girl!" I told her while she jumps on the edge of her bed.
"Yup! So I'm gonna go look for something nice to wear for tomorrow evening. Ahh! I cannot believe this! I just oh my God, this is amazing" She cheers while jumping off of the bed.
I walk back to my paperwork. "It can wait till tomorrow." I think. I was feeling incredibly jet lagged.
"I'm gonna get to bed, I'm tired." I tell Kayla as I yawn.
"Goodnight!" She says while I turn off my bedside lamp.
*****
The next morning I wake up to a hairbrush hitting my back.
"What the fuck?!" I yell while ripping the duvet covers off of me.
"Shit, sorry!" Kayla says while rummaging through her suitcases "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. But what are you doing?" I ask while walking through the scattered items of clothing all over the floor.
"I was up all night, and I still cannot find anything to wear!" She says running her hands through her hair in frustration.
"You were up all night looking for an outfit to wear tonight? Gee, this Harry guy must mean a lot to you." I say walking over to my suitcase.
"Yes, he does. So please help me! I need to go shopping or something! Hey, where are you going?"
"Wait." I tell her. "Here." I hand her my outfit I was supposed to wear to the boys concert, but she could use it more than me, this is important to her.
"THIS IS PERFECT!" She yells while hugging me "Thanks so much Ri, I promise I won't get it stained or anything. I love you!" She hugs me again.
I chuckle "It's fine, babe. I hope you have fun tonight" I smile.
"Oh believe me, I will." She winks.
*****
I just finished eating my room service dinner when I hear a knock at the door.
"Riana, can you get that? It's Harry and I'm not ready yet, I still need to put my lipstick on!" Kayla tells me while sticking her head out of the bathroom door. "Pleeeeeeeese?" She says in a baby voice.
I sigh. "Fine."
I open the door and see a tall, curly haired green eyed boy with dimples.
"Hello!" Harry says, smiling.
I return the smile "Hi, Kayla is almost finished, come in." I open the door wider and Harry walks past me.
"Hey, aren't you the girl on the plane yesterday?" Harry asks while turning around.
I laugh. "Yeah that was me." He was about to say something else but Kayla walked into the room. "Okay I'm ready. Hi Harry!" Kayla smiles while walking towards us.
"Wow, you look stunning babe." Harry smirks while I see Kayla's cheeks turning bright red. I silently chuckle.
She smiles. "Thank you. I'm assuming you two have already met?" Kayla questions while looking at both of us.
"Yes we have. Now you two better get going, don't want to miss dinner." I say.
"Right! Okay, well see you later on RiRi" Kayla hugs me while she whispering "Don't wait up for me" she winks while heading over to Harry who is holding open the door for her.
"I won't" I laugh "Bye guys!" I say as they close the door.
"Bye!" They both say in unison.
I pad my way to the door and lock it then walk back to my laptop. I smile to myself thinking about how ecstatic Kayla must be right now but I can't help but have this sadness overcome me. To be honest, I was quite envious that Kayla was always able to hold down a job, school, and maintain a relationship all at once. I mean, how was she able to do that, but I wasn't? What was so different about me that when I was juggling too many things at once they'd all go to shit?
As these thoughts enter my mind I feel the room becoming smaller so I decide to step out onto the balcony needing some fresh air. As soon as I open the sliding door to the balcony I feel the cool London breeze touch my face, I see the beautiful city lights of London and I see so many people walking the street. Seeing all of them, I can't help but feel so alone. My thoughts go back to being back home in Hawaii, waking up every morning and walking along the beach feeling the cold dewy sand between my toes and the warm morning sun on my skin. My life back home used to be so carefree, no worries or stress until I decided my career would have to take me to LA, that's when things got complicated. My parents were never happy with my decision to leave the island, and to be honest, I wasn't happy with my decision to leave either. I guess I just felt living in Hawaii with the career I wanted wouldn't get me anywhere, I needed to venture out if I wanted to succeed. But living in LA for the past year has been hell. I miss home everyday, I miss my friends and family. The stresses to pay my rent and bills on time, and keeping my mind on work 24/7, I hardly had time to let my hair down and have fun anymore. I am so lucky to have Kayla, she has always been there for me no matter what. But a lot of the times I found myself becoming jealous of how easy life was for her, as opposed to me.
Sometimes, I look in the mirror and don't even recognize the person staring back at me anymore. Moving to LA and the way my job is has turned me into this serious workaholic and I feel like sometimes I have no heart. It's like I left my heart in Hawaii, and it's still there waiting to be returned to it's rightful owner.
These thoughts go through my mind and I feel the tears start to well up in my eyes, I blink and one single hot tear rolls down my cheek. I don't know how or why but I thought about Zayn and it comforted me for a second. I remembered what happened yesterday on the plane and the feeling of his smooth warm skin against my fingertips, the way his giant hand covered over mine, his hair, eyes, smile and last but not least, the feeling of his heartbeat against my hand. I feel more tears running down my face now just thinking of how childish it was to run away from him yesterday during such a beautiful moment. Truth is, I was scared that in the first time in my life, I had actually connected with someone on a deeper level besides physical attraction.
"Babe, you okay?" I hear that familiar deep British accent say. I turn to my right and on the balcony next to mine I see Zayn poking his head out from the corner of the wall. I quickly wipe my tears with the back of my jumper sleeve.
"Zayn?" I ask
"Hey, you remembered." He laughs, so do I. "Um, so are you alright?" He asks taking a drag of his cigarette. "How long has he been out here?" I think
"Yeah I'm fine, just uh, allergies." I tell him. "Allergies? Really Riana? That's the best you can come up with?" I tell myself.
He chuckles "You can do better than that, what do you think, I'm some 5 year old who throws our hairstylists hair ties at a pretty girls head to get her attention?" "Oh yeah, the airplane." I remember.
"It's just, I was thinking about some things I shouldn't be thinking of." I confess.
"Like what?" He asks.
I ponder telling him for a second, "I don't think I should be discussing this with you." I tell him.
"Look, if this is about what happened on the plane I'm-"
"It's not about that." I interrupt him.
"Then what is it?"
I look at him. "It's just, I know who you are. And I'm the journalist doing the review for your band at this Saturdays concert. I don't think it would be good to mix any personal business with my clients. It wouldn't be appropriate." I tell him.
He nods his head. "I understand, love. Well, if you ever need someone to talk to, this is where I'll be staying until the concert." He tells me with a half smile.
"Thank you, that's very sweet of you." I smile turning to walk back into my room.
"Oh, and Riana."
"Mm?" I crane my neck.
"Just because I'm your client" He says while using air quotes "doesn't mean you can't confide in me. I know how hard it is to have a job that can be pretty demanding at times and you just feel alone and you want someone to just listen and be there for you. I promise, I wouldn't tell anyone. I'm just here to listen, okay?" He tells me. I can feel the tears welling in my eyes again Dammit Riana, why are you so emotional tonight?!
"Thank you Zayn, I don't know what to say." I tell him. And it's right, I don't know what to say. No one has ever been concerned about me like this. I mean, my family and friends get concerned about me, but I've become a master at hiding my feelings, I just put a smile on my face and make like everything is okay.
"I mean it." He says. "I'm right here if you ever need me. Goodnight, Riana." He says with a smile while walking back into his room.
"Goodnight." I whisper, barely audible.
I walk back into my room, turn off the light, and pull the duvet covers up to my chin. I look out of the window at the city lights again and feel my eye lids start to get heavier. My eyes slowly start to close and my thoughts drift off to Zayn. I can feel my heart start to flutter whenever I think about him. Truth is, I haven't been able to stop thinking about him since what happened yesterday.
As I drift off to sleep, with thoughts of Zayn clouding my mind, I know that I am slowly falling for this man. And I couldn't help but wonder if he feels the same way about me.
