Stay With Me...
Epilogue.
Two Weeks Later
Harry Styles
July 10, 2014
"It’s not on right," I mumble to a mirror in which I’m staring in. I turn my cap to the left a bit and straightened out my gown, striving to look as decent as possible.
I let out a sigh, telling myself this is the most decent I’m going to be able to get this afternoon as I could hear loud chatter booming in the auditorium but no laughter, just chatter. I could picture family and friends greeting each other with sympathetic hugs and understanding handshakes before taking their seat. Their feet would tap on the cold floor as they eagerly waited for graduation to start. As I just wanted it to end.
People didn’t know if it was safe to joke around yet. People didn’t know if it was okay to pull out some new tricks because no one had the answer when you are supposed to joke around after a school shooting. Parents where more strict with their kids and the kids were more well behaved, as if they knew of the vibe in the room that gloomed over us like a black cloud.
"Harry," Someone called my name before I caught the sight of Sophia walking towards me, "Are you ready?" She asked before giving me a small smile that was formed on her pale pink lips.
"Not one bit," I honestly answered before I rubbed my hands together as if I was cold, "I’m nervous."
"It’s okay to be nervous," She assured me as she dusted off my shoulders before she placed her hands on her small hips. "You got your speech?" she asked.
"Yeah," I simply said as I reached in my pants pocket, and pulled out a white sheet of crinkled paper that had my speech scribbled down on. "Why am I doing this again?" I asked her as I could feel my chest get heavy with grief and pain. As if someone just placed three bricks on my ribcage and was slightly pushing down more and more.
"Because the school wanted you and other people to say some words about your lost love ones and Mrs. May cant do it." Sophia reminded me.
"Why am I going first?" I queried before Sophia just gave me a shrug.
"You are going to do great," Sophia spoke before a man walked into the room softly telling me I was about to go on.
The pile of bricks felt as if someone was sitting on them as I turned to Sophia with an unsure looked spread across my face before I begun to stumbled towards the door with stage fright following my tracks.
"Harry," She uttered before I turned my attention from the man’s back to Sophia’s mournful filled face. "You’re doing this for her," she then took a slight pause as if saying her was a mistake, "For Delilah."
**********
I stood by tall curtains that seemed to be endless until they reached the tall ceiling that limited their height. The room felt still as I was hidden from the audience from the tall curtain that seemed to protect me from my stage fright that was behind me.
The principle begun to walk pass me before he gave me a pat on the shoulder before he walked to center stage as I stayed back. The room grew silent, you could hear a pin drop as if everyone paused for a moment. As if everyone didn’t know what to do.
"Good morning," The principle, who I didn’t get to know his name, begun to speak, "Today we are gathered here to congratulate the graduates of Miller May High of 2014." He said with a smile that seemed to warm everyone’s hearts as people shuffled in their seats. "After today they are set to a path that will lead them into a happy life filled with joy,"
He took a small breath before he looked at me before he begun to speak again, "But we are also gathered here this morning to take time and remember the victims whose path came to a halt with no warming."
The principle then reached his arm towards me before I took a shaky breath and begun to make my way towards him. The footsteps sounded as loud as a gun shots, making my anxiety peak even more as I didn’t make eye contact with the crowd that was to the left of me.
I held on to my paper with my speech written down onto it as if it was going to transport me to another world, another place. The man then gave me a slight pat on the back before he walked off stage, leaving me in the spot light vulnerable and scared.
I looked at the crowd that I could see as the spot light blinded to rest of them from my sight. I swallowed the spit in my mouth that I didn’t notice I was holding before I straighten myself up in front of the microphone the best I could. A white sheet was then slowly lowered down behind me before seconds later a picture of Delilah and I appeared rather quickly as the top of the picture read ‘In Loving Memory of Delilah May’
I stared at the photo as if the day we took it rushed back to me. I wondered how they got the picture before a cough in the audience caught my attention as I felt my eyes begin to tear up, but it was okay to cry, right?
"Uh," I mumbled before it boomed through the auditorium which caught me off guard. I then cleared my throat and tried to get myself together before I gathered my thoughts up. "She told me she liked my shoes-" I started off before I mentally cursed at myself at my stupid opening before I begun to continue.
"She only liked them because she had the same ones on that day." I explained the best I could. "I told her she had a pretty name and she replied she got it for her birthday." A few giggles escaped the crowd before I loosened up.
"Delilah had one of those names that just felt right to say, it was almost too perfect. But it was the most perfect name for the most perfect girl. Delilah was the kind of girl who would never leave you on purpose, she was there until the end and she vowed to sick by it. I remember one morning we had an egg making contest and I let her win, of course because I have the best eggs in town." The crowd then let out slight laughs before I continued.
"I can stand here and tell you about how all the times I was with her it felt like I was complete and when I wasn’t I was falling apart. I can tell you how I remember sitting in the hospital bed by her side for three days straight as she was on life support before we decided to…" I then felt a tear slide down my red cheeks before I looked away from the crowd and down to my shoes. "She never told me she loved me because she was too scared. I never got to hear the three words that could cure a broken heart slip out of her mouth before I would kiss her and everything would be alright. When I was in the hospital room with her I knew she loved me and she knew I loved her and that’s all that mattered. I sang to her and hoped she could hear me every time I confessed my love to her, which was plenty of times." I began to hear people cry out in the audience as I followed.
I then looked back at the tall curtains before I wiped more tears away from my cheeks "But I never got to hear her confess her love. Maybe it was meant to be that way, a mystery. Mysteries are never a happy ending but maybe its not about the happy endings, maybe it about the story."
"Delilah and I had a story, One that could be transformed into a book or a short poem. We had a story that was like no other in this world but it was out unique kind of story and It's perfect the way it is. Just like her." I took a breath.
"I never got to tell her I got accepted into the college of my dreams, I was going to tell her the day after the shooting at a fancy dinner place that was sure to break my wallet but it didn't matter because it was going to be for her. I can stand here and cry about the things I never got to say or do, but what I did get to do was fall in love with the most perfect girl I could ever lay my eyes on. And even though she is gone she is still in my heart and I will never forget about the girl who likes my shoes."
**********
I sat in the room in which I was in before as I rested in a chair that seemed to comfort me. My mind raced as I hugged a pillow and my feet rested on the coffee table that was placed in the center of the room.
I could hear the sound of the other victims’ families talk about their heart break and grief before I closed my eyes and tried to think of something else, anything else.
A few knocks on the door then startled me before I shakily replied "Come in," even though I wanted to be left alone.
A man in a police uniform then slowly opened the door as if he was slightly scared to walk in. As if I was going to hurt him. The room quickly grew uncomfortable as he closed the door behind him and stood there in front of it, without saying a word.
"May I help you?" I asked, trying my best to make conversation even if I didn’t want to.
"Uh, I’m Officer Patterson." He almost stuttered but caught himself before he extended his hand out for me to shake. The named sounded familiar but I couldn’t quiet put a finger on it.
I accepted the gesture before I opened my mouth out to reply "I’m Harry Styles."
"Nice to meet you," He said with a quick smile that vanished as fast as if came. His hand quickly fell back to his side before I offered him to sit down "That’s okay, I’m not staying long."
"Then what did you come down here for?" I asked him before he held up a book that I didn’t notice he was holding before. The book was purple with some writing on the front but I couldn’t read it as he moved it around.
"I just came to give you this," He replied before he handed it to me with a shrug.
I took the book into my hand before I began to read the cover ‘DO NOT OPEN… Property of Delilah May’. I stood up straight into my chair before I looked up at him, "Where did you get his?" I asked him before he placed his hand on the back of his neck.
"I found it in the school," He said, "I thought you might want to read it."
I then quickly opened the book as I found the first page with doodles and scribbles of band names that I remember from t-shirt Delilah used to wear. I placed my hand on top of the page as I starred at it. My mind begun to feel slow, as if everything was going in slow motion and I began to wonder why I never seen this journal before.
I looked up to thank Officer Patterson but I was left to stare at a wall as he already left the room. I swallowed the lump in my throat before I turned to the next page and begun to read…
may 26, 2013
dear journal or diary,
today was okay. there is this new guy in my school. kind of hot... but not my type. He seems like a jerk and a player.not the kind of guy i want to be with. Anyways, my mom isn't doing too well. she is still ignoring me. i want my mom back... the one who would cook dinner and tell jokes. I miss dad.... A LOT. A girl needs her dad. He is supposed to protect me. Tell me who to stay away from. Who not to date... i just really need that in my life at this moment
Sincerly,
delilah...
I flipped through pages eager to read the next one before one caught my eye
Dear Journal or diary…
I Love Harry. I Love harry styles. I said it. I don’t know why I can’t say it to him. I have all the time in the world to say it to him, but I can’t. No matter how hard I tried last night I couldn’t. I was just lying there with my mouth open, after we had sex, as he hoped and waited for me to say it back, but I let him down. I love harry styles and I want to tell him, But i…..
I just can’t build up the courage to…
Sincerely,
Delilah.
Harry Styles
July 10, 2014
"It’s not on right," I mumble to a mirror in which I’m staring in. I turn my cap to the left a bit and straightened out my gown, striving to look as decent as possible.
I let out a sigh, telling myself this is the most decent I’m going to be able to get this afternoon as I could hear loud chatter booming in the auditorium but no laughter, just chatter. I could picture family and friends greeting each other with sympathetic hugs and understanding handshakes before taking their seat. Their feet would tap on the cold floor as they eagerly waited for graduation to start. As I just wanted it to end.
People didn’t know if it was safe to joke around yet. People didn’t know if it was okay to pull out some new tricks because no one had the answer when you are supposed to joke around after a school shooting. Parents where more strict with their kids and the kids were more well behaved, as if they knew of the vibe in the room that gloomed over us like a black cloud.
"Harry," Someone called my name before I caught the sight of Sophia walking towards me, "Are you ready?" She asked before giving me a small smile that was formed on her pale pink lips.
"Not one bit," I honestly answered before I rubbed my hands together as if I was cold, "I’m nervous."
"It’s okay to be nervous," She assured me as she dusted off my shoulders before she placed her hands on her small hips. "You got your speech?" she asked.
"Yeah," I simply said as I reached in my pants pocket, and pulled out a white sheet of crinkled paper that had my speech scribbled down on. "Why am I doing this again?" I asked her as I could feel my chest get heavy with grief and pain. As if someone just placed three bricks on my ribcage and was slightly pushing down more and more.
"Because the school wanted you and other people to say some words about your lost love ones and Mrs. May cant do it." Sophia reminded me.
"Why am I going first?" I queried before Sophia just gave me a shrug.
"You are going to do great," Sophia spoke before a man walked into the room softly telling me I was about to go on.
The pile of bricks felt as if someone was sitting on them as I turned to Sophia with an unsure looked spread across my face before I begun to stumbled towards the door with stage fright following my tracks.
"Harry," She uttered before I turned my attention from the man’s back to Sophia’s mournful filled face. "You’re doing this for her," she then took a slight pause as if saying her was a mistake, "For Delilah."
**********
I stood by tall curtains that seemed to be endless until they reached the tall ceiling that limited their height. The room felt still as I was hidden from the audience from the tall curtain that seemed to protect me from my stage fright that was behind me.
The principle begun to walk pass me before he gave me a pat on the shoulder before he walked to center stage as I stayed back. The room grew silent, you could hear a pin drop as if everyone paused for a moment. As if everyone didn’t know what to do.
"Good morning," The principle, who I didn’t get to know his name, begun to speak, "Today we are gathered here to congratulate the graduates of Miller May High of 2014." He said with a smile that seemed to warm everyone’s hearts as people shuffled in their seats. "After today they are set to a path that will lead them into a happy life filled with joy,"
He took a small breath before he looked at me before he begun to speak again, "But we are also gathered here this morning to take time and remember the victims whose path came to a halt with no warming."
The principle then reached his arm towards me before I took a shaky breath and begun to make my way towards him. The footsteps sounded as loud as a gun shots, making my anxiety peak even more as I didn’t make eye contact with the crowd that was to the left of me.
I held on to my paper with my speech written down onto it as if it was going to transport me to another world, another place. The man then gave me a slight pat on the back before he walked off stage, leaving me in the spot light vulnerable and scared.
I looked at the crowd that I could see as the spot light blinded to rest of them from my sight. I swallowed the spit in my mouth that I didn’t notice I was holding before I straighten myself up in front of the microphone the best I could. A white sheet was then slowly lowered down behind me before seconds later a picture of Delilah and I appeared rather quickly as the top of the picture read ‘In Loving Memory of Delilah May’
I stared at the photo as if the day we took it rushed back to me. I wondered how they got the picture before a cough in the audience caught my attention as I felt my eyes begin to tear up, but it was okay to cry, right?
"Uh," I mumbled before it boomed through the auditorium which caught me off guard. I then cleared my throat and tried to get myself together before I gathered my thoughts up. "She told me she liked my shoes-" I started off before I mentally cursed at myself at my stupid opening before I begun to continue.
"She only liked them because she had the same ones on that day." I explained the best I could. "I told her she had a pretty name and she replied she got it for her birthday." A few giggles escaped the crowd before I loosened up.
"Delilah had one of those names that just felt right to say, it was almost too perfect. But it was the most perfect name for the most perfect girl. Delilah was the kind of girl who would never leave you on purpose, she was there until the end and she vowed to sick by it. I remember one morning we had an egg making contest and I let her win, of course because I have the best eggs in town." The crowd then let out slight laughs before I continued.
"I can stand here and tell you about how all the times I was with her it felt like I was complete and when I wasn’t I was falling apart. I can tell you how I remember sitting in the hospital bed by her side for three days straight as she was on life support before we decided to…" I then felt a tear slide down my red cheeks before I looked away from the crowd and down to my shoes. "She never told me she loved me because she was too scared. I never got to hear the three words that could cure a broken heart slip out of her mouth before I would kiss her and everything would be alright. When I was in the hospital room with her I knew she loved me and she knew I loved her and that’s all that mattered. I sang to her and hoped she could hear me every time I confessed my love to her, which was plenty of times." I began to hear people cry out in the audience as I followed.
I then looked back at the tall curtains before I wiped more tears away from my cheeks "But I never got to hear her confess her love. Maybe it was meant to be that way, a mystery. Mysteries are never a happy ending but maybe its not about the happy endings, maybe it about the story."
"Delilah and I had a story, One that could be transformed into a book or a short poem. We had a story that was like no other in this world but it was out unique kind of story and It's perfect the way it is. Just like her." I took a breath.
"I never got to tell her I got accepted into the college of my dreams, I was going to tell her the day after the shooting at a fancy dinner place that was sure to break my wallet but it didn't matter because it was going to be for her. I can stand here and cry about the things I never got to say or do, but what I did get to do was fall in love with the most perfect girl I could ever lay my eyes on. And even though she is gone she is still in my heart and I will never forget about the girl who likes my shoes."
**********
I sat in the room in which I was in before as I rested in a chair that seemed to comfort me. My mind raced as I hugged a pillow and my feet rested on the coffee table that was placed in the center of the room.
I could hear the sound of the other victims’ families talk about their heart break and grief before I closed my eyes and tried to think of something else, anything else.
A few knocks on the door then startled me before I shakily replied "Come in," even though I wanted to be left alone.
A man in a police uniform then slowly opened the door as if he was slightly scared to walk in. As if I was going to hurt him. The room quickly grew uncomfortable as he closed the door behind him and stood there in front of it, without saying a word.
"May I help you?" I asked, trying my best to make conversation even if I didn’t want to.
"Uh, I’m Officer Patterson." He almost stuttered but caught himself before he extended his hand out for me to shake. The named sounded familiar but I couldn’t quiet put a finger on it.
I accepted the gesture before I opened my mouth out to reply "I’m Harry Styles."
"Nice to meet you," He said with a quick smile that vanished as fast as if came. His hand quickly fell back to his side before I offered him to sit down "That’s okay, I’m not staying long."
"Then what did you come down here for?" I asked him before he held up a book that I didn’t notice he was holding before. The book was purple with some writing on the front but I couldn’t read it as he moved it around.
"I just came to give you this," He replied before he handed it to me with a shrug.
I took the book into my hand before I began to read the cover ‘DO NOT OPEN… Property of Delilah May’. I stood up straight into my chair before I looked up at him, "Where did you get his?" I asked him before he placed his hand on the back of his neck.
"I found it in the school," He said, "I thought you might want to read it."
I then quickly opened the book as I found the first page with doodles and scribbles of band names that I remember from t-shirt Delilah used to wear. I placed my hand on top of the page as I starred at it. My mind begun to feel slow, as if everything was going in slow motion and I began to wonder why I never seen this journal before.
I looked up to thank Officer Patterson but I was left to stare at a wall as he already left the room. I swallowed the lump in my throat before I turned to the next page and begun to read…
may 26, 2013
dear journal or diary,
today was okay. there is this new guy in my school. kind of hot... but not my type. He seems like a jerk and a player.not the kind of guy i want to be with. Anyways, my mom isn't doing too well. she is still ignoring me. i want my mom back... the one who would cook dinner and tell jokes. I miss dad.... A LOT. A girl needs her dad. He is supposed to protect me. Tell me who to stay away from. Who not to date... i just really need that in my life at this moment
Sincerly,
delilah...
I flipped through pages eager to read the next one before one caught my eye
Dear Journal or diary…
I Love Harry. I Love harry styles. I said it. I don’t know why I can’t say it to him. I have all the time in the world to say it to him, but I can’t. No matter how hard I tried last night I couldn’t. I was just lying there with my mouth open, after we had sex, as he hoped and waited for me to say it back, but I let him down. I love harry styles and I want to tell him, But i…..
I just can’t build up the courage to…
Sincerely,
Delilah.
Notes
The End.
please make a sequal
9/14/17