Stay With Me...

Sophia Kingwood
June 9, 2014

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I assembled myself upon my bed with my face stuffed into a plush pillow. I ignored my cat, Jasper, who was gently purring and brushing her soft fur against my bare feet, consoling me. Ever since I was little and felt even the slightest bit down Jasper would always do the same kind gesture of brushing her silky fur against my leg or purr into my ear. But I didn’t want a cat to comfort me… I wanted him to comfort me. Tanner.

I remember the day Tanner and I were around eight and we decided to start playing kickball in the cul-de-sac. Spending an amazing summer day outside, because my mother told us to “Stop watching T.V. and get some fresh air.” So, we did just that. Everything was going fine until I dashed to second base, tripping on a crack that was in the concert. As I fell I slid on the hard ground and begun scrapping my knees and the palm of my left hand pretty badly. As Tanner carried me on his back, walking towards the house, my knee started to bleed onto Tanner’s shirt, but he didn’t seem to mind. He just wanted to make sure I was okay. Tanner was always the person to protect people. He also died trying to protect one of his best mates. Tanner was a tough guy. In the hospital he struggled to stay alive but the doctors told us there was nothing else they could do. After everyone said their goodbye’s Tanner’s parents decided to take him off life support.

The sound of knocking broke up my day dreaming “Sophia, honey. Delilah is here to see you.” I then threw a pillow at the door, as if that would give me some sort of relief, but to no avail.

“I don’t want any visitors right now, mom.” I declared, but it was muzzled by the bed sheets I used to throw over my head, shielding me from my lamp light. I began to hear faint sounds of whispering outside my door. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but I could only imagine that they were talking about how stubborn or over dramatic I was being. Well, I’m sorry that I just lost my fucking boyfriend in a car accident. Sorry I can’t just “get over it.”

“Sophia,” I heard my mother say in a calm voice. “I’m coming in.”

Just before I knew it my mother opened the door and flicked on the lights, along with the fan, to my room. I let out a groan as my privacy vanished before I felt the sheets getting torn off my body and ripped away from me. “Leave me alone!” I spat at my mother as she clenched my pale pink bed sheet in her right hand.

Jasper quickly pounced from my bed and onto the floor before exiting out the now open door. “Delilah is here to see you because she cares. Now, I suggest you talk to her or you will get your phone taken away from you. Got it?” My mother said in her you-better-do-this-or-else-you’re-grounded voice. You would think a mom would be gentler with her daughter that just lost her boyfriend, but no.

I rolled my eyes at her before I looked over at Delilah who was just standing in the middle of my room, looking like an idiot. I quickly glanced over at myself in the mirror that was placed in front of my bed. I never looked more horrible. Dark mascara was smudged under my eye and my face was flushed. I now had bags under my eyes from not getting enough sleep and I just looked done.

I heard my door close, catching my attention. I guess my mother wanted to leave Delilah and me alone. Stupid idea.

I don’t understand why, but ever since Tanner passed I have become colder towards Delilah, as if I was pushing her away. Which I wasn’t trying to do on purpose. It was just something I seemed to be doing naturally.

“What do you want?” I questioned her.

“Uhm,” She hesitated. “I have some assignments from class today, Thought you would want to have them.” Delilah told me before she rummaged through her school bag and pulling out four sheets of white paper.

“That’s what you came over here for?” I then let out a scoff. “Just set them on my desk and you can find your way out if that’s all.” I said before getting up from my bed and walking to my closet, trying to find new pairs of clothes instead of the same ones I have been wearing for almost two days now.

“Are you okay?” Delilah asked as I pulled out some aqua pair of shorts and an oversized shirt from their hangers and walking towards my bed before setting them down.

“Oh, never better.” I obviously lied.

“You know what I mean.” Delilah poorly defended herself.

I then laughed, as if what was happening was all a joke. “You know for damn sure I’m not okay.” I said, still not facing her.

“You can talk to me about it.”

“I don’t want to talk about, I just…” I then paused as I felt myself about to lose my temper. “I just want to be left alone.”

“Well, I can leave… I’m going to Harry’s after this. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” As soon as I heard Delilah say she was going to Harry’s I felt myself flush with anger. Ever since Harry got here everything turned to shit. He was the reason Tanner was in the car accident that took his life. I know it wasn’t Harry’s fault that tanner died, but he did put him in the situation that killed him, which is the same thing, right?

“Harry...” I quietly spoke as I shook my head in annoyance.

“Do you have a problem with my Boyfriend?” Delilah said, getting a bit more irritated.

“Oh, no..” I said. I thought twice about what I said next, but I was too hurt, sad, and angry to even give a full understanding of what I was about to say. “And he sure as hell didn’t have a problem with me when we slept together after that party.”

The room went silent for a few moments before Delilah spoke up, “That’s not true. I don’t believe you.”

“Ask him.” I simply said before I finally faced her. I could see the hurt in her eyes as I continued to talk. “He enjoyed it, too.” I said, taking it a bit too far.

“Sophia,” she begged. “That’s not true, stop it.”

“Oh, but it is. That’s why he wasn’t there were you got home after your date with Conner, because he was sleeping. With. Me. “ I tried to stop myself from saying those words, but they just spewed out of me.

“Go fuck yourself.” Delilah exclaimed before she fumbled to grab her backpack and flung my door open to exit, but stopped herself. I stood there, holding back my tears from her hurtful words as she spoke out again “You never deserved Tanner… He was too good for you.”

That last statement was enough to drive me into a break down as I heard Delilah stomp down the stairs and slam my front door. I slid my back down my wall as I begun to sob into the palm’s of my hands. My vision was blurred by the tears that were now streaming down my face. I was done… completely and utterly done.


Delilah May
June 9, 2014

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I stomped into my room as I threw my backpack against my wall, too angryto care about anything right now. I felt like I could punch a wall.

“Surprise…” I heard Harry say as I saw him sitting down on my desk chair, spinning it around to face me. His face instantly dropped from content to worried “Babe, What’s wrong?” He asked as he jumped from the chair and faced me. He tried to touch my face but I shoved his touch away.

“Did you really sleep with her?” I interrogated him before a confused look spread across his face. “Don’t lie to me, harry.”

“S-Slept with whom? I don’t know who you are talking about!” he defended himself.

“Sophia!” I spat at him. “That’s why you weren’t there after my date with Conner! You were too busy fucking her!”

“Delilah,” Harry sighed “It wasn’t like that…”

“The how was it? Tell me!” I said, I couldn’t control what was coming out of my mouth. I just wanted the truth.

“I was drunk.” He stated before running his hands through his curls “It was a mistake, okay? I didn’t know what I was doing.”

“Is that supposed to make it okay?”

“Well,” He began “I guess so…” He said, not knowing how to reply. “We weren’t even dating then anyways, I don’t know why you are so worked up about it.”

That was true, we weren’t even dating each other and I was seeing Conner, which was a huge mistake. Harry was a free man at that point and It’s not like I had any control over him. I was just mad at the fact that It was with my best friend. Out of all people why her?

“Just… Why Sophia?” I asked him what was on my mind.

“I don’t know why… I was surprised as you are right now when I woke up next to her, but don’t worry about it. I don’t give for her… I only give for you. Well, and my mom and sister but you are a very close third.” He smiled, making me smile.

I still felt pretty mad, but I couldn’t do anything about it with out doing something stupid. Harry took me in for an embrace that just seemed to make everything all right again. I wouldn’t let Sophia under my skin. I wont let he get the best of me.

“I’m sorry I blew up on you… she just got me so worked up.” I apologized.

“It’s okay… just as long as I have you everything is doing just fine.” He said, but I knew he wasn’t fine. He was still hurting about Tanner and so was half of the school. I wish I could help harry realize he wasn’t the reason his best friend died. Because he wasn’t… I was the reason. If I never started dating Conner none of this would have happened. Tanner and Sophia would be cuddled up watching movies with the Megan, Harry and I. Tanner and Harry would talk through the whole movie about the world cup and everyone would be happy. But happy endings don’t always come true.

Notes

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