No Regrets
45-Lost Memories
Charlotte’s P.O.V.
I felt tired. Extremely tired. But I also felt like it was time to get up. It felt like I had been asleep for a month with how stiff I was. I slowly started to move my fingers, clenching and unclenching them. I realized that something or someone was holding my hand but I just ignored it. I pulled my hand out of its grasp and lifted by hands to my face. I wiped the hair out of my face and rubbed my eyes before gently opening them. Bright white lights blinded me and I immediately shut my eyes again. I slowly looked through my eyelashes and let my eyes adjust to the light. Where am I? I was thinking as I slowly lifted my head and turned it to my left. I heard beeping and saw a small chair, sink, and counter against the far wall. It was a smaller room but it was still cozy. I looked farther left and saw a bunch of machines beeping with tubes sticking out of them. I looked down at where I was sitting and saw that I was in a hospital gown and there were a few needles poking in my arm. I was in a hospital.
I looked to my right and noticed a young man sitting there. He was blonde and good looking but he looked tired. He was smiling hugely at me and his hand moved towards mine. Just as he touched my hand I pulled it away. Why was he trying to hold my hand? His smile instantly faded and a look of confusion came over his face.
“Who are you?” I asked.
His face instantly went blank with shock. It took a minute before he was able to speak.
“You don’t know who I am?” He asked in a quiet voice. I was able to detect a slight accent. Irish maybe? I slowly shook my head and he looked like he was about to cry. My brain was whirring trying to figure out who he was. I had seen him before that’s for sure. Then I saw a guitar case sitting next to him and it clicked. Music, Irish, blonde, he was Niall Horan from One Direction.
“Wait, you’re Niall Horan right?” I asked, still not completely positive. His head snapped up and he looked a little bit less sad.
“Yes.” He replied looking hopeful. But wait, how do I know Niall Horan? I’ve never even been to one of their concerts.
“But, how do I know you?” I asked and he looked like he was about to break down. He wiped his eyes and took a breath.
“When you moved to London-” I cut him off.
“London? I haven’t moved there yet, the doctor just told me about it yesterday.” I asked, extremely confused now. He looked shocked and scared.
“What day do you think it is?” He asked. I racked my brain and then answered.
“May 18.” Niall took in a shocked breath and I saw a tear fall out of his eye.
“Char-” I immediately cut him off.
“Don’t call me Char.” Kylie used to call me Char. Just thinking about her brought tears to my eyes. Its only been a week and I still am not used to the fact that she is gone. Niall looked hurt and I felt bad for snapping but I didn’t want him to call me that.
“Sorry. Charlotte, today is November 12.”
I felt like someone had just slapped me with a brick. No, it can’t be November 12, how would I not be able to remember 5 months? My mouth and eyes were both wide open at his words. I started to shake my head, it was impossible.
“No. No it isn’t.” I said stubbornly, refusing to believe that. “No, No.” I kept saying.
“Charlotte, Charlotte, CHARLOTTE!” He said, starting to raise his voice over mine so he could be heard. I was in hysterics by now and was still saying no. He reached for my hands but they were clenched so he grabbed my wrist instead. “It’s okay, I’m here.” He said. I kept mumbling.
“No, no it’s not, no, no, NO!” I yelled and broke down in tears. I was still shaking my head and Niall released my arms after I started to jerk them away from him. “Where’s my mom?” I asked, she would tell him he was crazy.
“She’s in America.” I was instantly confused.
“Then where am I?” I asked.
“You’re in London, remember? I told you that already.” He said in a sad sympathetic voice.
“Why isn’t she here? I want my mom.” I said, tears starting to flow from my eyes. “Where’s the doctor? Get him.” I asked and he immediately stood up and left the room, but not before glancing behind him to look at me. He had the saddest look possible on his face and I saw a tear run down his cheek. I felt bad for making him cry, but how did he know me?
Niall’s P.O.V.
I was able to hold back tears until I got out of her room but after the door closed I slid down it and couldn’t help it. I wrapped my arms around my knees, put my head down and just started to cry. She doesn’t remember me. She doesn’t know who I am. She doesn’t remember us. She doesn’t remember me. These thoughts kept circulating through my brain.
I heard some people pass by me and ask what was wrong but I just ignored all of them. I was sitting there for only about two minutes before I heard all the lads and girls talking and approaching. I really didn’t want to talk to anyone but I knew they wouldn’t leave me alone. I heard them all laughing as they got closer. I heard them all turn the corner and then freeze. I heard them all running but Harry was the first to reach me.
“Mate…” He said, not knowing what was wrong. He crouched down beside me and patted my back. I slowly looked up. Zayn and Niall were crouched down next to me; Liam and Lou were hovering above them and the girls above them. They all had a mixture of confused and worried on their faces. “Is she awake?” Harry asked in a gentle voice. I slowly nodded. “Then what’s wrong?”
“She doesn’t remember me.” I managed to choke out. “She doesn’t remember anything from London.”
Harry’s P.O.V
She doesn’t remember anything? I looked around and we all had shocked expressions on our faces. None of us saw this coming. How could she not remember anything? She wasn’t that sick when she first came here, why can’t she even remember that? She doesn’t remember Niall, or the fact that they are dating. Or her relationship with me, I felt like Zayn and I were her best friends besides Niall.
Zayns P.O.V.
WHAT?! She has to remember! We’ve all been through so much with her! She has become a big part of every single one of our lives, especially Niall. Poor Niall, how must he be feeling? I felt sad, how could she not remember all the time we all spent with her? All the times I helped her through her cancer? All her memories…gone.
Harrys P.O.V
“I’m going to go grab a doctor.” I said and they all nodded at me as I got up. I was still in complete shock at Niall’s news. But maybe there was some explanation, maybe it was temporary and she would remember it all in time. I headed to the main desk and grabbed a nurse’s attention.
“Excuse me! Hi, um can I please speak to the doctor for Charlotte Moren?” The nurse nodded and went to the phone. After a few minutes she came back with a man by her side. He grabbed a clipboard and motioned for me to follow as he walked towards her room.
“How’s she doing?” He asked and I frowned.
“She doesn’t remember any of us.” I said and he stopped in his tracks.
“Nothing?” He asked.
“Only Niall has been in to see her, but from what he said, she doesn’t remember even moving to London.” He pursed his lips and started walking again. We reached the door and everyone looked at him.
“Can I please speak to Ms. Moren?” He asked and Niall scooted out of the doorway. He opened the door and quickly closed it, shutting us all out.
Charlotte’s P.O.V.
The doctor finally came in and I was very glad to see him.
“How are you feeling?” He asked and I shrugged.
“Confused, tired, sad.” He nodded and wrote something down on his clipboard.
“Why are you confused?” He asked.
“What day is it?” I replied with a question.
“Today is November 12, 2012.” He replied, and it finally hit me; the doctor wouldn’t lie, it was seriously November 12.
“How?” I asked in a disbelief voice, my voice crackly.
“Ms. Moren, you moved to London on May 25. You have spent the last few months living in a flat about ten minutes from here and have been coming in twice a week for chemo. About 4 months ago you came in with severe lung issues. You had a tumor in your lungs. You were put on a cannula, which is an oxygen tank, and were given a prescription to help heal the tumor. The tumor went away for a while but came back again suddenly and you were readmitted to the hospital. The only hope to get rid of your tumor at that point was an intense surgery. It wasn’t guaranteed to work. You agreed, knowing that the chance of you surviving the surgery was 10%. The surgery was successful and the tumor is now gone. But, your body was too weak from fighting the cancer, the tumor and the surgery. You have been in a coma for the past three months.”
He finished talking and I just sat there, staring at the wall, listening to him tell me my life. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I had a tumor?! I was in a coma for three freaking months!??! It was all so surreal.
“What about my cancer?” I asked in barely above a whisper.
“Your body has managed to fight it off better while you were in a coma, sadly you aren’t in remission, but with a few more treatments we believe that you will be in remission.”
I smiled at the news, something happy at least.
“Sir, how do I know Niall?” I asked.
“Niall Horan?” I nodded. “Charlotte, he is your boyfriend.”
I felt tired. Extremely tired. But I also felt like it was time to get up. It felt like I had been asleep for a month with how stiff I was. I slowly started to move my fingers, clenching and unclenching them. I realized that something or someone was holding my hand but I just ignored it. I pulled my hand out of its grasp and lifted by hands to my face. I wiped the hair out of my face and rubbed my eyes before gently opening them. Bright white lights blinded me and I immediately shut my eyes again. I slowly looked through my eyelashes and let my eyes adjust to the light. Where am I? I was thinking as I slowly lifted my head and turned it to my left. I heard beeping and saw a small chair, sink, and counter against the far wall. It was a smaller room but it was still cozy. I looked farther left and saw a bunch of machines beeping with tubes sticking out of them. I looked down at where I was sitting and saw that I was in a hospital gown and there were a few needles poking in my arm. I was in a hospital.
I looked to my right and noticed a young man sitting there. He was blonde and good looking but he looked tired. He was smiling hugely at me and his hand moved towards mine. Just as he touched my hand I pulled it away. Why was he trying to hold my hand? His smile instantly faded and a look of confusion came over his face.
“Who are you?” I asked.
His face instantly went blank with shock. It took a minute before he was able to speak.
“You don’t know who I am?” He asked in a quiet voice. I was able to detect a slight accent. Irish maybe? I slowly shook my head and he looked like he was about to cry. My brain was whirring trying to figure out who he was. I had seen him before that’s for sure. Then I saw a guitar case sitting next to him and it clicked. Music, Irish, blonde, he was Niall Horan from One Direction.
“Wait, you’re Niall Horan right?” I asked, still not completely positive. His head snapped up and he looked a little bit less sad.
“Yes.” He replied looking hopeful. But wait, how do I know Niall Horan? I’ve never even been to one of their concerts.
“But, how do I know you?” I asked and he looked like he was about to break down. He wiped his eyes and took a breath.
“When you moved to London-” I cut him off.
“London? I haven’t moved there yet, the doctor just told me about it yesterday.” I asked, extremely confused now. He looked shocked and scared.
“What day do you think it is?” He asked. I racked my brain and then answered.
“May 18.” Niall took in a shocked breath and I saw a tear fall out of his eye.
“Char-” I immediately cut him off.
“Don’t call me Char.” Kylie used to call me Char. Just thinking about her brought tears to my eyes. Its only been a week and I still am not used to the fact that she is gone. Niall looked hurt and I felt bad for snapping but I didn’t want him to call me that.
“Sorry. Charlotte, today is November 12.”
I felt like someone had just slapped me with a brick. No, it can’t be November 12, how would I not be able to remember 5 months? My mouth and eyes were both wide open at his words. I started to shake my head, it was impossible.
“No. No it isn’t.” I said stubbornly, refusing to believe that. “No, No.” I kept saying.
“Charlotte, Charlotte, CHARLOTTE!” He said, starting to raise his voice over mine so he could be heard. I was in hysterics by now and was still saying no. He reached for my hands but they were clenched so he grabbed my wrist instead. “It’s okay, I’m here.” He said. I kept mumbling.
“No, no it’s not, no, no, NO!” I yelled and broke down in tears. I was still shaking my head and Niall released my arms after I started to jerk them away from him. “Where’s my mom?” I asked, she would tell him he was crazy.
“She’s in America.” I was instantly confused.
“Then where am I?” I asked.
“You’re in London, remember? I told you that already.” He said in a sad sympathetic voice.
“Why isn’t she here? I want my mom.” I said, tears starting to flow from my eyes. “Where’s the doctor? Get him.” I asked and he immediately stood up and left the room, but not before glancing behind him to look at me. He had the saddest look possible on his face and I saw a tear run down his cheek. I felt bad for making him cry, but how did he know me?
Niall’s P.O.V.
I was able to hold back tears until I got out of her room but after the door closed I slid down it and couldn’t help it. I wrapped my arms around my knees, put my head down and just started to cry. She doesn’t remember me. She doesn’t know who I am. She doesn’t remember us. She doesn’t remember me. These thoughts kept circulating through my brain.
I heard some people pass by me and ask what was wrong but I just ignored all of them. I was sitting there for only about two minutes before I heard all the lads and girls talking and approaching. I really didn’t want to talk to anyone but I knew they wouldn’t leave me alone. I heard them all laughing as they got closer. I heard them all turn the corner and then freeze. I heard them all running but Harry was the first to reach me.
“Mate…” He said, not knowing what was wrong. He crouched down beside me and patted my back. I slowly looked up. Zayn and Niall were crouched down next to me; Liam and Lou were hovering above them and the girls above them. They all had a mixture of confused and worried on their faces. “Is she awake?” Harry asked in a gentle voice. I slowly nodded. “Then what’s wrong?”
“She doesn’t remember me.” I managed to choke out. “She doesn’t remember anything from London.”
Harry’s P.O.V
She doesn’t remember anything? I looked around and we all had shocked expressions on our faces. None of us saw this coming. How could she not remember anything? She wasn’t that sick when she first came here, why can’t she even remember that? She doesn’t remember Niall, or the fact that they are dating. Or her relationship with me, I felt like Zayn and I were her best friends besides Niall.
Zayns P.O.V.
WHAT?! She has to remember! We’ve all been through so much with her! She has become a big part of every single one of our lives, especially Niall. Poor Niall, how must he be feeling? I felt sad, how could she not remember all the time we all spent with her? All the times I helped her through her cancer? All her memories…gone.
Harrys P.O.V
“I’m going to go grab a doctor.” I said and they all nodded at me as I got up. I was still in complete shock at Niall’s news. But maybe there was some explanation, maybe it was temporary and she would remember it all in time. I headed to the main desk and grabbed a nurse’s attention.
“Excuse me! Hi, um can I please speak to the doctor for Charlotte Moren?” The nurse nodded and went to the phone. After a few minutes she came back with a man by her side. He grabbed a clipboard and motioned for me to follow as he walked towards her room.
“How’s she doing?” He asked and I frowned.
“She doesn’t remember any of us.” I said and he stopped in his tracks.
“Nothing?” He asked.
“Only Niall has been in to see her, but from what he said, she doesn’t remember even moving to London.” He pursed his lips and started walking again. We reached the door and everyone looked at him.
“Can I please speak to Ms. Moren?” He asked and Niall scooted out of the doorway. He opened the door and quickly closed it, shutting us all out.
Charlotte’s P.O.V.
The doctor finally came in and I was very glad to see him.
“How are you feeling?” He asked and I shrugged.
“Confused, tired, sad.” He nodded and wrote something down on his clipboard.
“Why are you confused?” He asked.
“What day is it?” I replied with a question.
“Today is November 12, 2012.” He replied, and it finally hit me; the doctor wouldn’t lie, it was seriously November 12.
“How?” I asked in a disbelief voice, my voice crackly.
“Ms. Moren, you moved to London on May 25. You have spent the last few months living in a flat about ten minutes from here and have been coming in twice a week for chemo. About 4 months ago you came in with severe lung issues. You had a tumor in your lungs. You were put on a cannula, which is an oxygen tank, and were given a prescription to help heal the tumor. The tumor went away for a while but came back again suddenly and you were readmitted to the hospital. The only hope to get rid of your tumor at that point was an intense surgery. It wasn’t guaranteed to work. You agreed, knowing that the chance of you surviving the surgery was 10%. The surgery was successful and the tumor is now gone. But, your body was too weak from fighting the cancer, the tumor and the surgery. You have been in a coma for the past three months.”
He finished talking and I just sat there, staring at the wall, listening to him tell me my life. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I had a tumor?! I was in a coma for three freaking months!??! It was all so surreal.
“What about my cancer?” I asked in barely above a whisper.
“Your body has managed to fight it off better while you were in a coma, sadly you aren’t in remission, but with a few more treatments we believe that you will be in remission.”
I smiled at the news, something happy at least.
“Sir, how do I know Niall?” I asked.
“Niall Horan?” I nodded. “Charlotte, he is your boyfriend.”
Notes
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I tried to make it a little bit longer to make up for me not updating. :( I am SO SORRY about that!!! I promise I will be better at updating! It's just that gradution got extremely hectic with all my family around!Please let me know what you think of this chapter! Will she remember him? LET ME KNOW!! COMMENTS MOTIVATE ME TO WRITE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also I am thinkign about writing a new fanfic after this one is done. Would you guys be interested? Please let me know!!!!!!
COMMENT~RATE~SUBSCRIBE
Awesome!:) and I know exactly how you feel!=]
7/21/13