Beautiful Agony

"You're not dead, but not alive either. You're just a ghost with a beating heart."

A/N: So there is an intense situation in this chapter. If you don't feel comfortable with reading about an assault, when you first see the bold astrid mark (*) you can skip along until you see the other bold astrid mark (*) a little ways down and you will skip the assault scene. You won't miss anything revealing or crucial, just Aria being in a bad situation where she needs a savior.

Chapter Three

Once I walk into the safety of my flat and set my bag and coat down on the kitchen counter, I immediately go to my studio, not even bothering with changing my clothes or taking a shower. When I'm there, I feel a tranquility fall around me. My art studio always brings me peace and comfort. It's my safe haven. I turn on the radio that is sitting on a wooden stool near one of my easels and turn the volume up to the maximum capacity. Heavy guitar music comes through the speakers and I smile in satisfaction.

I across the room towards the far left wall where I have white sheets on the floor and my paint bottles and pallets. I step onto the sheets that are protecting the dark tile floor from paint stains and pick up one of my paint pallets. I look up at the unfinished mural that covers a third of the wall and stare at the large dark eyes that seem like they are looking into my soul. I grab some of the paint bottles and start to squirt the liquid onto the plastic pallet, thinking of what colors I'm going to use. I grab my spray bottle that has water in it, step up onto the step ladder that's in front of the wall, and spray the design that I sketched yesterday. I then grab my large paintbrush and dip it into the red paint. As soon as my paintbrush hits the wall, my hands starts to move like it has its own mind. The red color disperses through the entire design like a flowing river and I keep adding red coloring and water until I'm satisfied with the look. I then add blues, yellows, greens, and purples to the design and the colors start to mix together, creating a colorful water mark design. As more colors are added to the area, the more distinguished the eyes get.

Once I finish the eyes, an hour has passed. I wash out the paint in the brushes and grab the black paint. After squirting the paint onto the pallet and spraying water on the sketched nose, I move the brush across the pencil lines. The black infiltrates the water with violence and quickly spread across the design. It reminds me of a dark storm that is approaching an innocent land and infecting it with its evils and atrocities.

Kind of like my life. Or should I say my previous life.

I continue to drown myself in the painting and get lost in the world of music and art.

~*~

After a few more hours of painting and touching up, the mural is done. I step away from the wall and admire my finished masterpiece. I feel a great sense of pride and achievement. The eyes have so much depth to them that they reel you in from the first second that you see them and the watercolors surrounding the eyes make them pop and have more definition. When I look at this painting, I see all kinds of different things. That's the beauty of art. You have the power to see what you want to see and make your own definition and interpretation of the piece. With most art pieces, you can look at it multiple times and get a different interpretation each time. It's fascinating how one line or one color can completely transform a piece and make it come alive. One day I hope to have some of my artwork on display in museum where everyone can see them. That's a far fetched dream I know, but I hope that one day it comes true.

I turn off the stereo and grab all of my brushes and pallets and walk to my bathroom. After rinsing off everything, I place them back in their appropriate places and then head out of the room, turning off the lights on my way. I go into the kitchen and look at the clock on the wall. 20:45. I open up the refrigerator freezer and grab an instant dinner of chicken and rice. I place it in the microwave and wait the 3 minutes for it to heat up. I pour myself a glass of water and set it on the small coffee table that is in between my worn out leather couch and my small telly. I hear the timer on the microwave go off and I grab the hot dinner and grab a fork out of my silverware drawer and walk over to the couch and sit down. I turn on the telly and watch Doctor Who reruns until my eyes start to droop.

I turn off the lamp beside me and place my few dishes in the sink. I leave one of the lights on in the kitchen and walk back into my bedroom and get ready for bed. Once I'm in my bed, I lay on my side and look out the small window that overlooks the city. I look at the glowing haze from the street lights and am lulled to sleep in the silence of the restless city.

~*~

"So did you hear about what's happening?" Olivia says as she pours the cake mix into the pan.

I shake my head and concentrate on measuring the right amount of sugar.

"The store is branching out into Surrey. They found a building that we can buy and they are going to start moving things in next week. Isn't that cool?"

I nod and turn on the mixer. The clumpy mess that was here before starts to turn into a smooth yellow texture.

"Christina said that they are going to ask some workers here if they want to relocate to the new store. I don't think many will though since a lot of the workers here live right in the city like us. Who would want to drive to surrey when they can just walk ten minutes to here you know?"

I nod in agreement and after sticking a small sample spoon into the batter to taste if the batter is good, I pour cake batter into a rectangular pan and walk towards the large ovens that's already filled with multiple cake pans.

"Aria and Olivia, how's the batters going?" Jacob, the head baker, asks, wiping his hands on a dish towel.

"We have two more banana cream batters to do then we'll start on the buttercremes Jacob." Olivia replies for the both of us and cuts the appropriate amount of butter for the batter.

"Great! Renaldo how are the Pumpkin Spice Cupcakes coming?" He turns his attention towards the tall, tan man with black hair who has an icing piping bag and is bending over a large tray of orange cupcakes that have a them covering in white icing.

Olivia and I turn back to our counter and continue to work on our banner batters, our conversation silenced and pushed back until we can both spare a few minutes in between our baking.

"Hey Aria, it's your turn to lock up tonight."

I look away from the mixing bowl and see Christina right beside me. She hands me the set of keys that lock the bakery and I place them in my pants pockets.

"Okay?" She raises her eyebrows at me.

I nod in confirmation and smile and continue to pipe white buttercreme icing on the banana cream cake. I hear her walk away and I go on with my work.

For the next two hours Olivia and I work on our cakes, while occasionally conversing on what happened in our favorite tv shows and the new movie that just came out last week.

The bakers who work the night shift today, like Liv and I, work until 21:00. Once the closed sign is put on the window near the main doors, we all start to clean up the kitchen as usual. Two people go to the main room in the bakery to get all of the treats that did not get bought and bring them back to the kitchen. They are put in containers and placed in the refrigerators so they do not go bad.

"Anyone want to take any of these cupcakes home with them?" Jacob asks the lot of us.

I nod my head and Liv says, "We'll take some."

Liv and I get three cupcakes each: White Chocolate Almond, Red Velvet, and Cinnamon Apple Twist.

We both place the small brown paper boxes on the counter and continue to help clean up the kitchen and utensils that were used, listening to the mindless chatter of the other employees and how happy they are that it's Friday tomorrow.

After everyone is gone and it's just us two here in the kitchen, Liv turns to me.

"So do you want me to stay with you until you lock up?" She asks while I wipe down the counters with a dish rag.

I shake my head at her.

She raises and eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

I chuckle and nod at her apprehension of me walking home at night. 'I'm a big girl Liv, I can walk home three blocks.'

"Will you at least text me when you get in so I know that you're alright and I won't have to keep worrying?" She puts her hand on my shoulder and squeezes.

I smile at her thoughtfulness and nod. 'Okay. I will.'

"You better," she points her index finger at me. "Promise?"

I roll my eyes at her at her parent like stance. 'Yes I promise.'

She sighs. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then right? You're working the early afternoon shift?"

I nod in confirmation and we share a hug before she goes out of the kitchen and to the work room. I smile at her fleeting back and continue to wipe down the counters before grabbing the mop and mopping the floors. By the time I am done with cleaning up, it's 21:35. I turn off the lights in the kitchen and walk to the work room to get my things. Once I have my bag secured across my chest and my box of cupcakes and the set of keys in my hand, I walk towards the exit, making sure to turn off all of the lights on my way. I step outside and turn to lock the front door, the keys making a jingling sound that resonates throughout the eerily quiet street.

There's no people out and few cars that drive by. The street lights leave the streets in a dim glow and I start on my way to my flat, my hand tightly clutching the strap on my bag. I make sure to look at my surroundings as I walk down the the streets, looking for anything suspicious and dangerous. Anything could happen and no one would ever know. I have walked these streets many times but very rarely at night. I don't like to be walking late at night, but since my flat is not very far, I don't mind the walk. I have never had any problems before.

I hear footsteps behind me and I look back, seeing nothing but darkness. Did I really hear footsteps or was it my imagination psyching me out? I shake my head at the irrational thoughts that started to circle in my mind. It's a few seconds later that I hear the same footsteps following me. I quickly turn around and again no ones there. I turn back around and cross the street, my feet moving faster than they did before. My hands clutch tightly on the paper box in my hands and my mouth turns dry. I try to tell myself that it's nothing, but my heart is almost beating out of my chest. Just once more block and I'm home. Two more minutes. Those two minutes can not come fast enough because I feel like I'm being watched. My feet move even faster and anxiety and fear overrun my whole body. The dim lighting of the streets do nothing for me and I feel like the darkness and shadows are closing in on me, suffocating any light that can be used for protection. I look down at the ground for a split second and then I feel a pair of hands grab me from behind and drag me back. A big hand clamps over my mouth, muffling me shriek and drags me into the darkness that has caught up with me.

*I drop my cupcake box and flail my legs and arms, trying to get away but the rough hands continue to drag me back. Once we're away from the street and in a dark space between two buildings, I am thrown to the ground. I grunt when my face makes contact with the concrete and hear multiple voices around me. I look up and see five shadows standing around me in a circle.

"Hey, you're pretty," one of the shadows says, pointing at me.

"Yeah we could have some with you." Another one taunts.

I am roughly pulled up by my shirt and pushed into one of them, tripping over my own feet. The man has dark hair from what I can tell by the dim lighting that comes from the streets. He has a sick smirk on his face and a sinister look in his eyes that I have seen multiple times in my life.

I try to get out of his grasp but he pulls me back.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" He says pulling me back into him.

He starts to lift up my shirt and I whimper at the action. He grabs my hair and yanks my face near his. I can smell alcohol on his breath and its makes me want to gag.

"You know it's not polite to ignore people," He growls and yanks on my hair more, bringing tears to my eyes.

I spat in his face and knee him in his crotch. He groans loudly and bends over, cupping the area.

I take that time to start running. I get a few feet away from him when I am tackled to the ground. I wince as my face again hits the concrete hard. I don't have time to think because I am quickly drag back to the group, my nails scrape along the ground.

I receive a kick to the ribs and I yelp. The dark haired guy comes above me and hits me.

"You think you can run away from us bitch!" He venomously spits at me.

All five of them start to throw kicks and punches at me and I let out a scream that I haven't heard in along time. I put my arms up to try to deflect the hits but there's too many of them and I don't have the strength that they do. I'm overpowered and outnumbered. I see a sliver of silver reflecting off of the dim lighting and feel a sharp sting on my left cheek. They all yell and spit curse words at me.

The dark haired man leans right over me and my arms and legs are pinned down. The man places his knees on each side of my waist and I move my body wildly, but that only makes his body come into contact with mine and that makes him moan. My bag is ripped off of me and he grabs my shirt and rips it open, exposing my black bra. He grabs the knife from one of the other men and I feel a cold metal running across my bare body. I whimper at the sickly feeling and my mouth is then muffled by a big, sweaty hand.

"Do you want to do die tonight?" The man on top of me hisses. He looks down at my exposed chest and turns to the other men, smirking. "You boys thinking what I'm thinking?"

I hear some chuckles and can feel their revolting gazes on me. Oh god no! This can't be happening to me again! I start to cry and try to thrash my limbs but I can't move.

"Shut up bitch you know you'll enjoy it like the slut you are," He says while taking off my jeans.

Flashbacks start to come to me. To that one horrible night with a monster. My breathing quickens and my pulse starts racing. I am filled with dread and fear and I start to scream and cry for someone to help me.

"No one can hear you babe," one of the men holding my arms says while the other man on top of me unzips his jeans.

"I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die." I keep repeating over and over inside my head. If I'm not dead by the end of this, then I'll probably wish that I was.

The man puts his hand over my mouth when I start to scream again. A punch is delivered to my face and I can feel blood gushing out of my nose. A strong metallic taste fills my mouth, making me gag and cough. My vision is blurred from my tears, my head is spinning, my throat is hurting from all of my screams, and I feel like I'm going to pass out any minute. I sob and turn my head to the side, hopelessness is the only thing I feel and I lay still, surrendering to my demise. I close my eyes, not wanting to see what is going to happen and feel my panties being slid down my legs. Right when they're off a loud yell resonates through the alley.

"Hey!"

*Everything happens so fast. The dark haired man is thrown off of me and my limbs are freed from restriction. I gasp for air and my vision is blurry and distorted. I can't see what is happening because of the lack of light and my poor vision, but I can hear it. Grunts and punches are thrown and I lay on the ground immobile, waiting for whatever is happening to be over. I hear one last groan before multiple footsteps run away. A large shadow comes over me and I let out a whimper and curl myself in a ball in complete fear.

"It's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you," A deep voice says.

I look up in my blurry vision and meet a pair of green eyes. I stare at him, unable to move my body. He looks down and I feel my legs being lifted and my panties being put on. This unknown man takes off his jumper and drapes it over my still exposed body. He grabs my jeans in his large hands and my weak and beaten up body is picked up. I try to get out of his arms but that only makes him hold me closer to him.

"Shh, I'm not going to hurt you." His voice assures me. "You're safe." The deep, gentle tone of his voice comforts me and I relax in his arms, all of my energy drained.

My bag is gently placed on my lap and then the man walks out of the alley with me in his arms. The streets are still as silent as they were before like nothing ever happened.

"Where do you live?" The man asks me.

I point straight and he starts down the street towards my flat. I find myself snuggling closer to him and inhale his masculine scent. His warm body feels nice and surprisingly comforting. His strong, muscular arms are holding me tight, reassuring me that I'm safe. For once, I let my guard down and accept the warmth and safety from this stranger whose face I still haven't seen. We don't say anything to each other. Not that I would talk and he doesn't seem to talk either. I think we both want to forget about what just happened.

I can see that we are crossing the final crosswalk and I point up to my flat building.

"You live there?" His question rumbles through his chest.

I nod against him.

He walks to the building and I expect him to set me down at the door, but he goes right to through the lobby and to the elevator. I'm so glad that Josh has his office doors closed so he doesn't see us. Once we're in the elevator, I point to the 7 button and he pushes it, making it light up. We ride up to the seventh floor in silence, both of us being lost in our thoughts.

"Thank you," I whisper into his chest. My voice is so quiet and muffled that I don't think he heard me.

The doors open when arrive to the seventh floor send I point him to my flat 8G. I rummage through my purse and hand him my key and he unlocks the door. This stranger of a man passes by the kitchen and turns down the only hallway. I point to the room straight ahead and we go into my bedroom. He sees the bathroom and sets me on the sink counter. This is when I get a good look at this stranger. My mouth gapes when see what this man looks like.

Brown curly hair, piercing light green eyes, and dimples on both of his cheeks. Tattoos cover most of his arms like a canvas painting and I see some poking out of his black t-shirt and crawling up his neck. He has silver, metal piercings in his left eyebrow and bottom lip. Not what I was expecting him to look like. He reminds me of the man that I ran into yesterday. I continue to stare at him as he rummages through my drawers and gets out a washcloth, plasters, and hydrogen peroxide. He stands in between my legs and wipes the blood off of my face with the wet washcloth. I occasionally wince when he wipes my cut cheek and swollen nose. Once he's done removing the blood from my face, the beige cloth is now red and he puts the hydrogen peroxide on a cotton ball and lightly taps along the cut on my cheek so it doesn't get infected. Our faces are dangerously close together and I just stare at him. His eyes move from my cut to my eyes and he pauses for a second, looking into my brown depths and then goes back to the cut. His face remains stoic throughout this entire thing and no words are said. Once he puts a bandaid over my cut, he wipes the blood off of my still trembling hands and I see that some of my nails are broken.

"You're welcome," He softly says to me after he's done with fixing me up.

I look up at to make sure that I actually heard him speak and it wasn't just my imagination and he's staring at me. I see a flicker of emotion in his eyes and then it's gone as quick as it came and replaced by the blank expression he had before. He takes the jumper that is laying on my lap and puts it over my head, making sure to not touch my bruising face. He picks me up and carries me to my bed, gently laying me down on top of the sheets. He pulls the sheets from under me and I get nestled underneath them, my eyes starting to feel heavy. I pull the covers to my chin and my eyes start to fall, making me succumb to a much needed sleep before I can even worry about this mysterious stranger still being in my home and having free range to do whatever he wants.

The promise that I made earlier is forgotten and I lose all of my thoughts as my eyes close before I want them to. There are a lot of problems that I have to face tomorrow, but I broke my promise.

I never texted Liv.

Notes

I'm working on the next chapter now. I'm hoping to get it finished this week. :)