All I Want For Christmas Is You

"What did you say to Louis?" I asked Harry before he walked me to my room. "I told him to stay away from my girlfriend," Harry said as he glanced at me and smiled a crooked cute smile. I felt my body heat up. He said I was his girlfriend. He said so. He did. Oh my gosh... But how could he be so caring if that first night I met him, he did such a bad thing to me. I really don't care anymore... I just want to live like Karla and go with the flow. Maybe that's why she is so much calmer than me.

I smiled back at Harry and he helped me into my room by opening the door, like the gentleman he is, for me. He even gave a small little gesture to tell me to go inside. I giggled and as soon as I stepped past the doorway, Harry picked me up from behind and tossed me onto the bed. He laughed as I sat up and watched him as he threw his black jacket onto the desk table. I caught my breath from my laughter as I spun around on the comforter to face the window. I sat up onto my knees and peeked through the thick curtains. It was still raining.

"Harry, why doesn't it ever snow here?" I asked him as I continued to stare outside. Harry sighed as he walked over to me. "Like I said, I don't know, it only snows around February time. Not in December. It's fairly rare," he said as his arm reached around my shoulders. I shivered as his skin touched mine. He then picked me up away from the window and turned me to face him as he too sat onto the bed. He brushed his hair back and stared at the blankets before looking back up at me. The air in the room felt like it shifted. "Listen, Cat," he started. "I want to apologize," he said as his hand reached towards mine on the fuzzy comforter. "For what?" I asked, knowing what he was going to say, but I REALLY wanted to hear him say why. Harry took a deep sigh before scrambling on the bed and sitting in a different manner as he took my small hands in his. He gazed up at me with pleading eyes as he spoke. "Karla didn't really tell me to come over, I just came by myself, having absolutely no idea about the Louis situation," he spoke with a laugh. "And I came to apologize. I know I did such a horrible thing to you... You know... On the night of the performance at the flat," he admitted, looking extremely embarrassed. I felt bad for the guy. I knew he was never like that, but still, I didn't know for a fact. I was still pissed that he took advantage of me. "But I am so sorry, I didn't mean to take advantage of you, I know that is just horribly wrong, and I am quite embarrassed to say so myself," Harry said almost as if he was reading my mind. I sighed deeply and let the air go. I needed to learn to stop holding grudges against people, especially special people. Especially special people who call me their girlfriend. Eh... yeah.

"Fine," I stated, taking my hands from his. "Fine, I forgive you," I ended, looking up at his eyes. His eyes switched from pleading to overly-excited and he smashed me into him into a hug. "Oh thank you thank you. I never meant to you don't understand! I seriously, I never wanted to, but I couldn't hold it back, I will never drink again! Oh I love you!" he yelled and I pulled away as soon as he finished. He looked rather confused at my actions. "What did you just say?" I asked, not in anger, but in wonder. "I... erm... love you?" he said, messing with the back of his sleeve. I smiled really big, but then frowned once more. "How do you love me?" I asked, and he seemed uncomfortable with the subject. "I just do," "Harry, you barely know me," I replied quickly before I noticed that Val was staring at me from the chair she was sitting in. She was staring in complete shock. "Cat, I didn't mean to say it like that, I was just excited, and -" "Harry, no. I can't do this," I interrupted flopping back down on the bed again. Harry was silent for a few moments before he spoke. "Cat, I didn't mean it. Please Cat, don't be mad," Harry said, reaching for my hand again. "No," I said, this time getting up and brushing and pulling my shirt down as I walked over to Val. "Hey Val, how are you today?" I asked her, trying to ignore that Harry was still here. I don't want to be in my position anymore with him and I just want to go back to the states, even if I don't have a family.

"Cat, stop it," Harry said, stepping in my direction. I pretended I didn't hear him and I continued to talk to Val, who was just staring at Harry this whole time. She was completely ignoring me. She was probably just star struck again.

"Cat, please," Harry begged, tugging on my shoulder. I shook my head and spun on my heels to look at him. I felt a ball rise up in the back of my throat and I gulped. "Harry, I need you to understand. We just aren't meant to be," I almost whispered. His frustrated expression turned into a depressed expression. "Wh.. What?" he mumbled. I took a deep breath and stood straight up. "We aren't meant to be. I don't think being with a celebrity is my thing," I said boldly. Harry's face turned crimson and I have never seen him that angry before. "Does this have to deal with fucking Louis?!!" he screamed, flying his arms in the air in anger. I ducked down a bit. He was extremely scary when he was mad. "No," I whimpered. "And is that all you think of me?!" he yelled, and his voice cracked. "You just think of me as just a celebrity? Not Harry? Just Harry Styles from One Direction? I knew it," he said, turning around, his voice becoming quieter. I then heard a small sob come from him. "No, I think of you as Harry! Harry as in um... Harry!" I said, trying to make him feel better, but I knew I hadn't been a Directioner for long, and I didn't know anything about Harry, other than the fact that he likes cats (ironic), he has 4 nipples, and he auditioned into the X-Factor with the song "Isn't She Lovely". I knew nothing about Harry. And I was embarrassed because he is right. "You know absolutely nothing about me do you?" he asked, not turning back to me. I didn't answer. I didn't want to admit the truth. I mean, the only reason I was here was because of Karla, she showed me One Direction, she had the brilliant idea of dragging me here, and she thought of everything. I would have hated One Direction if it wasn't for Karla. And now I'm breaking the heart of one of those perfect boys that any girl would kill over. "I thought you cared. I knew I should have NEVER dated a fan. And I will NEVER do it again! You can go with Louis! I don't care!" Harry exclaimed as he turned around. His face was red and puffy and he was crying... hard. "It's not about Louis!" I said slapping the table Val was sitting at, and she jumped. I knew seeing him cry would start the chain reaction of me crying. "I'm sorry!" I yelled, but he was out the door before he heard me.

I knew I made the right decision. I knew I had. I'm out of the drama of the press. The drama of the rest of the boys. The drama of being here.

Or was I making the right decision?... And Christmas is tomorrow. Why did I do this.... Why... I probably did make the wrong decision.

Notes