Keeping Hope

Harry was watching Emma carefully as she let her fingers trace the painting. He felt like a dick keeping it from her for so long, though he didn't know how to tell her.. What was he supposed to do? Go up and say 'Hey! My dead sister has one of your mum's paintings?'
He knew the story of how Hope got a hold of it, though he only made the connection after seeing the paintings at Emma's and then going back to Hope's room and looking at the painting there again.
Harry didn't know that this same painting was one of Emma's favorites and how sad she was when she found her mum gave it away.
So seeing it again, was a shock for her especially hanging up in Harry's house, in his dead sister's room.

Emma's POV

"How is it that from all the people in the world, it is your sister who ends up with my mum's painting?" I ask Harry after a long silence, wiping the tears from my cheek. It had took me by surprise seeing the painting here, I heard Anne talk about a painting though I thought she was getting confused since I was at their home before and never came across one of my mum's art pieces.
"It's a long story," Harry exhales, which makes me angry. I don't care how long the story is! This is the painting! The painting that I loved! The painting I sat by her side while she painted, the painting that was given away when I wasn't looking.
"Did you know my mum painted this from the get go? Did you know who I was from the beginning?" I have different scenarios running through my head.
"No! God Emma! I swear to God! I had no idea your mum painted this until I entered your house," Harry takes a step towards me, touching my shoulders. I recoil, having a hard time believing him.
"But you knew for a while my mum painted this! So why did you wait until now to show me?" I accuse him. I know I am being harsh and I shouldn't be getting upset, but I just couldn't help it. Anything that has to do with my mum is sore to me.
"Emma, please, just listen to me for a moment I will tell you everything," Harry is begging me.
I watch his face, the way his brows are coming together pleading with me. He wasn't reaching out for me anymore respecting my wishes to remain untouched.
"There is a whole entry in the diary about your mum and the painting, take it home and read it! I didn't mean to withdraw information from you Em, I promise!"
Harry gave me one last glance before heading out of the room leaving me alone with the painting. I turn to face it once more.
I remember the day she started painting it. I was mesmerized by the colours and the quickness of her hand.. falling more and more in love with every stroke of the brush.
I also remember the day she gave it away.
Harry was back with the diary, handing it over, searching for understandment in my eyes.
After a long pause I start my way to the door, Harry following close by, walking me to the front door of his house.
"Please call me," He says quietly.
I nod my head, eager to find out how Hope got her hands on my mum's painting.

I set myself on my bed, lying down on my tummy, the diary opened in front of me. I skim through the pages, trying to remember about when the painting was given away, it was right before my mum found out she got better from her first round of cancer, about two weeks before…
When I find the entry of it I hold my breath, starting to drink the words, one after the other, finally getting long lost answers I have waited to find for a long time.

July 12th 2011

Hope's POV

I know I am in loads of trouble. Leaving home like that without letting anyone know, on a game night. Eleanor and Perrie will kill me for missing the cheering.. Maybe I'll make it back in time, it is still morning after all…
I had to get away, I couldn't take it anymore..
It's funny because I am such a confident person but I hate myself. Everything about myself. What I look like, my personality, my past, my present, my future...
If I'll bring it up with El or Perrie they will just wave me off, saying I am crazy! I am on the cheerleading team, dating one of the hottest boys in school, that I have nothing to complain about.
But you see, all of this- it's so materialistic.
Sometimes I think, I have no future. Everyone goes on about how life isn't about money or jobs or experiences, it's about love. And sometimes I feel I've never had it. To be honest, I feel like I never will. I mean, true, I have Harry and my mum and the girls, they love me truly for who I am, and I can count on them, but Tyler? He likes me for my looks, I know it- not letting me go out with him in sweat pants, wanting me to put on a dress or tight jeans, kind of a trophy girlfriend. I am sick of feeling like a prize to be won.
I'm sick of being the cheerleader. I am sick of being Harry's sister or Tyler's girlfriend!
I am me! Hope! I am more than those things!

Sitting on this patch of beach, looking out into the ocean, I couldn't help but feel sorry for myself.
Letting the tears run freely, without someone wiping them, or telling me to hold them in, so no one should see..
I want to feel like me again, and I don't know how.
My phone keeps beeping and ringing. Harry and Eleanor are looking for me.
I stand up and chuck it into the water, letting out a frustrated scream.

"Do you feel any better?"
I turn to see a woman standing behind me, a canvas in her arms and a big bag.
I turn from her, looking back on the blue waters, annoyed I had to share this piece of beach with someone.

"What's your story?" She asks me. I don't answer her, keeping my back turned, maybe if I ignore her, I would forget she is behind me, and imagine I am once more alone on the beach.

"It gets better you know…" She speaks up again.
I exhale before finally turning, understanding this woman is not going to go away.
When I finally look at her properly I notice her short grayish hair, held in place with a scarf.

"It's called 'the side effects of cancer my dear," The woman smiled.
I shuffle my feet uncomfortable I got caught staring.
"Hey, don't be shy, I feel so much better today, I will be alright, come sit by my side," She waves me over.
When I look up at her smiling face I notice her blue sparkling eyes.
Harry and I always get compliments about are green eyes, but this woman's puts ours to shame.
I pace over and sit next to her.
I look at the painting she was holding and I am amazed of the way she caught the beauty of the waters, the colours, the waves.
"My daughter loves this painting, she always says it's as if she could jump straight in and start swimming," The woman giggled.
"I wish I could jump in and start swimming," I sigh.
"How come you look so unhappy child? and on a beautiful day like this?"
"I hate myself today," I blurt out, feeling safe with this nice stranger.
"Why is that?" Is her next question and I'm relieved, relieved she did not say I have no reason to hate myself, that I am a cheerleader, and Harry's sister and Tyler's girlfriend.
She just asked why.
"I miss being me," I whisper, the tears back at the back of my eyes.
"And who might that be?" She asked a brush in her hand as she looked out at the ocean.
"I don't know anymore," Is my answer.
I really don't know. So used to hearing I am a cheerleader, a sister, a girlfriend, I have lost myself.
"I want you to remember something, you are who you are, not what people make you out to be, and as long as you remember that you won't lose yourself,"

For some reason it made sense to me, and it made me feel better.
I was a cheerleader and a sister and a girlfriend- but those things don't define me, they are side effects of me- of who I am.
"I will pray for you, you should live a healthy long life," I turn to this wonderful woman.
"I hope your daughter knows how lucky she is to have you," I add.
The woman turns her head to me, tears in her eyes.
"Dear child, I want you to have this," She writes something on the side of the canvas and hands it over to me.
"Watch the paint till it dries.. Whenever you feel down or lost, you look at the painting and you will remember, remember how special and smart and beautiful you truly are! And remember I believe in you! You will grow to do wonderful things,"
Then she got up and walked slowly away.
I looked down at the painting and read what she wrote: K. Hope.
Hope. I am Hope!
I look after the woman walking away from me. I haven't learnt her name, but furthermore, she never asked for mine.


Emma closed the Diary wiping the tears streaming down her face. For so long she was upset with her mum for giving the painting away, not getting an answer as in to who it was given to and why.
Knowing now it was given to Hope, and the state she was in when her mum came across her on the beach that same day, made her happy and proud.
Her mum forever the caring and understanding woman, cared for a stranger, a young girl she came across on the beach, helped her, bringing her up from the low she was in, never asking her name, or anything to make her feel as if she is prying into her life. Her mum never learnt Hope died, never growing up to do the wonderful things she wished for her to grow and do.
Emma pushed off the bed and ran down, diary in hand.
When she opened the door she found Harry sitting on the front steps of her house. He shot to his feet turning to her, and Emma, she fell into his arms, crying on his chest, missing her mum more than she ever did, and missing a girl she had never met, but came to know pretty well.

Notes

First of I want to start with how amazing you guys are!
I keep saying it over and over again, but I just can't get over the fact people are finding this story interesting!

Thank you for all your lovely comments it makes my day so much better when I get to read them!

I am not sure how many have you read my other story- The Mentally Brave, anyway, that story came to an end last week and I have understood some were really upset by my ending.
So first of I have to explain- I really didn't want to have the same type of ending you get in all the other stories, I had to make it different! and that was the best way I found how. So PLEASE don't be upset with me!
Thank you all for reading it! It means a lot!

Thank you again to all who are reading Keeping Hope, and subscribing and voting! It means the world! Thank you!

It makes me so happy to watch the number of subscribers and voters go up every time!
I wonder how much it will go up by the next update!?!
xxx