Thursday, January 16

I walk hastily to Harry's apartment from Kylie's house, tugging my jacket tighter to my body. It's a rare cold day in San Francisco and I'm definitely not used to it. When I finally get to the building I shiver slightly as the warmth creeps into my extremities, slowly warming my body as I climb the steps up to Harry's floor. When I get to his place I don't even bother knocking and he's already in the kitchen scooping chinese food onto plates.

"Hey," I greet sadly. I swing the door shut and walk over to him, resting my head against his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" he asks softly.

"I'm getting my wisdom teeth out," I whine. I was really hoping to avoid this.

"Aww," he laughs, putting his arm around me. He kisses the top of my head and continues laughing softly at me.

"Harry, it's not funny! It's going to hurt and I have a really low pain tolerance."

"They give you drugs for that," he says, trying to comfort me. I just frown even more. "You'll be fine. I had mine out and it wasn't that bad."

"Really?" I ask slowly. I look up at his face and he bites his lip to keep from smiling. He's lying.

"I'll take care of you, you'll be fine. When is your appointment?"

"Tomorrow," I groan.

"That's really soon," he says skeptically.

"Well apparently they need to come out 'right away'," I explains, using air quotes. "I don't get what the big deal is. Tomorrow or a few weeks from now isn't going to make a difference."

"Wouldn't you rather just get it done and over with?" he asks, setting out the rest of the food on the table.

"I guess so..." I trail. I bite my lip and lean back against the counter, picking at my nails. Going to the dentist scares the hell out of me, nevermind actually having surgery on my mouth. The thought of it makes me feel like having a panic attack. Harry steps in front of me and puts his finger under my chin, tilting my face back up to his.

"Seriously, are you okay?" he asks gently. I shrug. He sighs and the look of sympathy and love in his eyes is almost too much. "You'll be fine, love. I promise."

I had told Harry yesterday about my fear of the dentist with my looming appointment. I had a bad experience when I was younger and ever since then I have panic attacks beforehand. The only good thing about this appointment tomorrow is that I get to miss school.

"Are you hungry?"

"I can't eat anything," I whine. "They said I couldn't before my surgery."

"Oh." He smiles sympathetically and turns around to pack up some of the food.

"Harry, it's fine. You have to eat."

"Yeah, but I don't have to have it all sitting out for you to drool over," he says, dropping his eye in a wink. I walk sadly over to the couch and flop down on it. This is so depressing. "Do you want me to pick you up from it?"

"Mason said he would, but maybe he can take me here instead of to my house," I suggest. Harry tenses slightly. "He knows anyway and he's seen me come here."

"Wouldn't that be weird?" he asks, taking his plate over. I sit up so he can sit beside me as he starts eating.

"Maybe, but he doesn't want to take care of me anyway. Would you be okay with that? I'm going to be all high and stuff, so it's probably good that he already knows," I say, laughing a little. He smiles and scoops some rice into his mouth with a nod.

"True." He swallows his food before continuing. "Okay, have him bring you here. I'll make sure I'm home on time. What time is your appointment?"

"I'm going there around noon and they said it could take up to two hours. You don't teach last period, though, right?" He nods in agreement.

"Yeah, I can just come back after my last class. I'll be home around 1:30 then. Hold on." He sets his plate down and disappears upstairs and when he comes back down he holds a key out to me. "If I'm not back on time you can get in with this."

A key...to his home. I slowly and hesitantly take the metal out of his hands. He doesn't seem fazed by this but...it seems like a big deal to me. He continues eating and I just stare at him, unsure of how to take this. Am I supposed to give it back to him tomorrow? Did he just causally give me a key to his apartment?

"What?" he asks, his mouth full of food. He looks at the key and then back at what must be my frightened expression as his mouth pulls up into a small smile. "Did I scare you with that?" he teases.

"It's a key..." I say slowly. He laughs and nods.

"Nothing gets past you."

"Harry," I laugh, smacking his arm lightly. He laughs as well and shrugs.

"It's not a big deal. It makes sense for you to have it anyway. I feel so guilty whenever I come home to see you sitting in the hallway beside my door. My neighbours are probably going to get creeped out."

"Wait, so you're actually giving this to me?" I clarify. "Like...to keep? Forever?"

"Well I don't plan on living here forever but yeah, I had it made for you," he says simply. He slowly puts some pork in his mouth and I just stare at the key. This is a big deal, right? He apparently doesn't think so, but it is. It's one of those steps that people take in real adult relationships. That's real stuff right there. He sighs and sits forward to set his plate down again, taking the key from my fingers and setting it on the coffee table as well. He turns his body towards mind and places his hand on my leg.

"Savannah, it's just a key," he says softly. My eyes find his and he smiles warmly at me.

"I know I just...you surprised me," I explain quietly. I take a deep breath and try to relax. Don't make a big deal, it's nothing. I try to smile at him but he laughs at my attempt.

"Alright, if you don't want to take the key you don't have to," he says lightly. "If I knew you were going to treat it like I just gave you a vile of smallpox I would have waited."

I roll my eyes and he laughs at his own joke. It's so adorable when he does that; he finds himself so amusing. Even when his jokes aren't funny I can't help but laugh since he usually is as well. It's infectious.

"I'll take the key. You caught me off guard, that's all."

"No," he shakes his head and leans forward to take it off the table. "Now you can't have it."

"What?"

"Yep," he says simply. "You lost your chance. I'll just have to give it to someone else."

I raise my eyebrows and he sits back against the couch, a smug smile on his face. I throw one leg over his lap and take the hand holding the key in mine, slowly prying his fingers away from it. He watches my face carefully and I take the metal from him and raise myself on my knees, my exposed stomach lined up with his chin as I slide it into the pocket of my jeans. I sit back down and place my hands on his shoulders.

"You won't be giving anything to anyone else," I scold quietly. The crooked smile I adore appears on his face and he leans his head back, his hands finding my hips. "Got it?"

"Yes ma'am," he says curtly, saluting me.

I roll my eyes and he reaches up to cup the back of my neck, pulling my face down to his. The time I've spent with Harry since we arrived home from our small vacation to New York has been different somehow. We stay up far too late talking about silly things, our touches are far more gentle and intimate, and I find myself wishing I never had to go home. I still haven't told him that I love him, but it feels like we're newlyweds or something, revelling in a new chapter and growing closer by the second.

I'm so distracted by Harry's lips that I don't notice his hand sliding up the back of my shirt until he has slyly unhooked the back clasp of my bra.

"Harry!" I reach behind me and he just chuckles.

"What?" he asks innocently. I try not to smile as I shake my head disapprovingly.

"If I can't eat then you can't have sex," I bargain. His smile disappears and he drops his head back against the couch.

"That's not fair," he says, whining a little. "You're the one having surgery, why do I have to suffer?"

"Wow."

He laughs and takes my hands, lacing our fingers together on either side of us.

"I'm just kidding, baby. Are you staying here tonight?"

"I'm not sure." I sigh. "They said it would be best for me to get a good sleep in tonight. I don't really see that happening if I'm here."

"I'll behave, I promise," he bargains. The smirk that pulls at the corners of his mouth tell me otherwise. My eyebrows raises in question, catching him in his fib. "Yeah, maybe you shouldn't sleep here."

---

The next day (after the surgery)

"Ow," I groan, putting my fingers gingerly to my jaw. The splitting pain has spread all over my head. Harry's hand leaves my shoulder after he has successfully woken me up. Weird. I don't remember getting here.

"How are you feeling?" he asks softly, rubbing his hand on my back. I groan again and he takes the bottle of pills off the counter. "I'll take that as not so good. Take these and come with me. We should change your gauze."

"Ew, you are not doing that," I mumble as clearly as possible. No way he's looking into my bloody mouth.

"I've already done it once," he says simply. No! He hands me the glass of water and I take the pills as carefully as possible. When I'm finished he takes my hand and pulls be up from the couch, proceeding to gently lift me into his arms bridal style.

"What..."

"You're not supposed to exert yourself," he explains. I look up at him tiredly and he smiles adoringly at me. "Stairs are on the list. By the way, you're cute when you're all drugged up."

I smile lazily and his deep chuckle rumbles through his chest. I'm sure it was amusing as ever for him and Mason to see me like that.

Harry helps me change the gauze in my mouth, much to my distaste. I don't want him seeing me like this, I have no idea what I was thinking coming here. He continues to care for me the rest of the night while I go back and forth between restless sleep and painful waking. Damn wisdom teeth. Eventually he carries me up the stairs to his bedroom. I start to drift off as he goes back down to get the things I'll need for the night.

"Open up," he says, sitting beside me on the bed. I frown with my eyes closed. "You can take the gauze out now, love. You can't sleep light that."

I reluctantly open my mouth again. I will definitely be leaving soon since the doctor said I won't be able to brush my teeth properly on account of my stitches. Harry pulls the uncomfortable white sticks out of my mouth and I smack my lips a few times to spread the moisture to the extremely dry areas.

"I'm so gross," I groan, turning away from him, not too far, though since my jaw hurts so much. He just laughs and kisses my forehead before heading to the bathroom for the garbage. Once he's ready for bed he strips down to his boxers and climbs in beside me.

"Wake me up if you need anything," he says, leaning on his elbow above me. I nod, closing my eyes but extremely aware of his gaze locked on me. His hand slides across my stomach and his head rests beside mine.

"Thank you," I whisper, sleep tugging at my consciousness. He says something else but I'm asleep before it can register.

---

Sunday, Jan. 19

"Harry?"

"Yeah, babe." He doesn't look at me from where he stands in the kitchen making himself breakfast

"What did my brother say to you when he dropped me off here?"

He smiles nervously and looks up at me. "Not a lot. He told me what the doctors said about aftercare and we both laughed at how ridiculous you were." His smile grows and I shake my head at him. "What? I thought it was cute."

I'm surprised Mason actually went along with my request and brought me to Harry's apartment. He was probably happy to unload the burden when I think about it. I wouldn't want to take care of him after this. He's a baby, though, so it's different. I think I'm a little easier to handle.

"Did I say anything embarrassing in front of him?"

"Ummm....no," he says quietly. He turns back to his breakfast and I narrow my eyes at him. I must have said something.

"Harry," I prompt. He scoops his eggs onto a plate and takes his coffee into the living room, sitting beside my bundled mess of blankets and pillows to eat. I try to unravel my cocoon and he begins eating.

"It was nothing," he continues. I raise my eyebrows at him and he sighs. "Alright, you did say something. When I opened the door you pretty much jumped on me you were so happy to see me. Not that I blame you," he adds playfully, winking at me. I roll my eyes.

"Okay, that's not so bad," I conclude. He nods and his eyes roam the room as a distraction. "Harry, just tell me what I said!"

"I don't think you really want to know," he says carefully. What? He reaches up to attempt to calm my insanely unkempt hair. "You were pretty loopy from the drugs. It wasn't a big deal."

"You're sort of making it a big deal by not coming out with it," I say, trying not to be annoyed. I'm hungry and I'm in pain and that is just not a good combination. "Just tell me."

"Alright fine, but don't make it a big deal, alright?" I roll my eyes and nod in agreement. He's being so dramatic right now. "You sort of...you said..."

"Harry," I snap.

"Okay!" He runs his hand through his hair and I realize that he's actually nervous to tell me whatever I said to him while on drugs. He takes a deep breath and extends his arm along the back of the couch beside my head.

"You said you love me," he says finally. The words come out quick and as soon as he says it his brow creases in worry.

My mouth drops open slightly and I just stare at him. I said what?! We sit in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes while I mull over what he just told me. I haven't said that to him while sober yet, I can't imagine the surprise on his face- and my brother's- when I said it on Friday. That is not the way I intended for him to hear me say it. I knew it was true, but he was probably feeling confused. Unsure if it was a result of my drug-filled stupor or a result of feelings he didn't know I had already expressed to him in his sleep. I can't exactly deny the feelings, because they're true, but this isn't the way I wanted him to figure that out.

"Umm..." I begin, trying to fill the silence. He stares at me, waiting.

"You don't have to explain," he says quietly. He stares at me a little longer, silently pleading for me to say that it was said out of truth. I know that's what he wants to hear, but I don't feel right confirming it for some reason.

"I'm going to have a shower." My voice is shaky and his eyes grow slightly sad when he nods his head. I quickly escape up the stairs to his bedroom and lean against the door of the bathroom for a moment to collect myself. Why can't I just say it? I love Harry and he loves me. So why is it so hard for me to tell him that?

Notes

opportunity missed? frikken savannah.
i was going to unclude her being all drugged up but it just added unnecessary length the the chapter and i dont know how to write in the perspective of someone thats high :P

keep voting guys!! im really busy right now, so im not going to update unless i get responses, which means both voting and commenting.

there are a lot of subscribers that haven't voted, so please do that!!

also, over 100 subscribers!?!?!?! thats literally AMAZING and i love you guys so muchhhh im so happy that you guys like my story :)

thanks so much for reading. let me know what you think :) things are going to start gettin crazy again so hold on to your hats.

also i know this wasnt the best chapter ive written. im wrapping up my other story so my head is kind of wrapped up in that one. unless i get tons of responses for this one im not sure how much ill be updating it in the next little while :S