Mirrors (A Harry Styles Fanfic)

Last night was the first time I talked about my mum since I was 15; my childhood friend Bella and her family had come over to pay their respects and I had to tell her everything that my father had done and what my mum went through. Our mother's had been friends since high school, she was the only person my mother had contact with once she married my father but they moved when I was 10 to Ireland. Sadly they couldn't come to her funeral because she was about to give birth to their second child. I haven't seen Bella since then but we always send each other holiday cards and birthday messages.

Opening up about my mum has brought such relief, I feel like I can breathe better now. Right after she died I felt so alone and empty, if it wasn't for Mark who was always there for me, I don't know what would've been of me. I've been living with this for years, never bringing it up and wanting to ignore it. It surprised me how easy it was for me to just start telling Harry about it, it made me realize that I've been in need of a true friend and he came right on time.

Harry's on his date with Cara and I hope the best for him. I can tell he likes her but I can also see that he's not sure about them being together; he doesn't want to jeopardize the friendship they have. I'm anxious to know what happens and I remember that he said we'd go out for a bite to eat tonight, we were going to eat for breakfast tomorrow but he decided to leave early to Cheshire and visit his family earlier than he planned. Last night he wouldn't stop talking about Gemma and how she planned on moving here, I could tell he misses her and his mum a lot.

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I'm taking out some black jeans and a black shirt out of my closet when I hear the door of my room open.

"Are you going out?" I hear Mark say, I step out and find him sitting down in my bed with his phone in hand,he never gets off Twitter.

"Yeah, Harry wants to get some dinner. He's going with his family tomorrow early in the morning" I tell him as I take the band off my head and let my hair fall, even though I washed it this morning it's all crazy and tangled. I thought keeping it in a ponytail would help...

"Oh" he's acting weird, I turn to look at him and narrow my eyes

"What are you keeping from me" he looks down at his phone

"Dad wanted us to go to dinner with him.."What?

"Why in the hell does he want that?" I turn to the mirror and start putting my hair in a bun, "I thought he was mad at me"

"Yeah but Nan told him you got a job and once he found out where-"

"He suddenly felt the interest in my life that he never had" I say as I put an old looking burgundy bow on the bun

"Yeah... He probably thinks you can get your celebrity friends to buy his cars" my brother says, I can tell his frustrated at dad for his actions. I know my brother cares deeply about him and is always looking for his approval, it saddens me because I know he'll never get it. Our father couldn't care less for us and he's shown it countless of times. The only reason he payed for my University was because he thought I would become some famous movie maker and make him richer.

"You should go, I don't want to see him" I walk into the bathroom and quickly change into the outfit I picked. When I come out my brother hands me my burgundy sweater and I smile at him

"I doubt he'd want me there... I will just tell him that we will eat with him tomorrow?" he asks

"Mark," I really don't want to see my dad but the hopeful eyes on my brother make me cave in, "fine, but just dinner. No showing of Jane's shoe collection" he laughs and wraps his arms around me

"Have fun" he winks and runs out the door before I can punch him.

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"We're going to a Mexican restaurant" Harry says as soon as I get into his car, I haven't been in this car and wonder why he needs different ones.

"Why Mexican?" I ask with a laugh, he stretches his arms out and I lean in for a hug. He's wearing a white Rolling Stones shirt and black ripped jeans, of course. "And why aren't you wearing a sweater"

"I think I'm becoming alien to all climate" he says and starts the car

"Why is that"

"Been to so many places I don't know what temperature it should be until it starts bothering me" he says with a small curve of his lips

"But it's freezing out!"

"It's always cold here" he got me there. "Also, I haven't had tacos in a while" I laugh of how strange that sentence would be if I didn't remember I asked him why Mexican food.
The car ride is quiet and I think about how it was awkward to be alone in a car once. For some reason I think that it is in our power to make it awkward or not and I'd much rather enjoy my friend's company. We reach the restaurant in about fifteen minutes and are seated immediately. The waitress takes us to one of the corner booths. There's Mexican flag patterns on the bottom of the seats, and there's a photograph of a painting on the wall, I think I've heard of the painter but not completely sure.

"So, how are things with Cara?" I ask my best friend as my enchiladas are placed in front of me. I don't think I've ever had a best friend, not even Mark. I open up to my brother but I also try not worry him, I'm the oldest and I shouldn't stress him out.

"We decided to stay as friends... Sort of" he says with a half-smile, he takes his fork and plays around with the ingredients in his tacos. It's strange to see him eat something so simple and small; his large hands trying to find a way to grab the taco. He's too cute! "She said she couldn't be in a relationship with me, and I told her I couldn't either because she's too... jealous" he looks at me, I'd expect him to have sad eyes but they're neutral; he's just fine.

"What do you mean she's jealous?"

"She said she wouldn't stand it if I had friends that are girls if we were together which I don't quite understand" he says and furrows his brows.

"Well I'm glad it didn't go any further before one of you got hurt, I'm sorry though" I half smile to try and cheer him up and finally eat some of my food, "I get where she's coming from though" I say and clean my mouth with the green napkin next to my plate, "I get why she would be jealous, every girl gets jealous and if they tell you otherwise then they are lying. The problem here is that she doesn't trust you" I say. I hate telling him this but it's true,why wouldn't anyone trust this man, I trust him with my life and Cara has known him way longer.

"Yeah, I figured" he said and took a bite of his taco; I can't help but smile at the way he eats his food,actual man child."How are you in the love department" he says with a cheeky smile making me giggle

"I'm alright, like I actually like being single. It gives me time to do all things work related and enjoy it, have time for my family and friends. I even think I might stay like this forever" I say with a sincere smile.It wouldn't be bad would it?The last time and first time I was in a relationship it didn't go so well, it gave me a bad vibe about relationships. I look up from my plate to find Harry scrunching his eyebrows together, the way he does when he's confused

"Why you say that Pipes?"he's never called me that

"Well if I committed to a relationship my life would change completely and I don't think I would be ready, nor like it" I say, his expression softens and he smiles a little, not showing me his dimples which I've very much missed.

"Then you should date someone who won't do just that. Someone who is your friend first, so when you finally decide to start dating, the only thing that changes is what he is introduced as and, somewhat, the way you two spend your time together"There are my dimples! I smile at him.

"That sounds lovely and not at all complicated. Are you sure that's a relationship?" I say and he laughs, I can't help but join in, he starts pointing at me

"You my friend could not be more right" he says.

As the waiter takes our empty plates Harry takes his phone out and snaps a picture of the painting in the wall. "So what are we doing now?" He asks, turning his eyes and attention to me

"Well I was thinking we could just be at home, watch some movies and stuff our faces" I say and smile widely, he starts laughing that beautiful laugh,actual man child I swear!"But we could eat healthy you know! Some strawberries...Covered with chocolate" I whisper the last part, only making him laugh louder; I join him, not finding my joke funny at all. That laugh is contagious. He stops laughing but he still has that dimpled smile showing his white straight teeth, and the crinkles by his eyes only making me giggle

"We should go home because I really want to do something that will only make Harry Girls angry Ponyboy" I say and step out of the booth. His smile has faded and he has that confused look, then quickly phases to a cheeky smile. We've never been like this, I definitely feel like our friendship has blossomed and I feel lucky to call him my friend.

"Do you want to go over to my place?" he asks once we're in his car.

"Sure, you've been to mine. I think it's time I met yours"

"Yeah, me too" he sights and I laugh remembering how he always says he never stays at home "I didn't think you'd understand the joke" he says with a smile

"You forget I'm a Directioner" I smile widely and he laughs.
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He opens the door and we're immediately introduced to a large living room; black leather couches, a flat screen in modern furniture. Right across the front door is a glass door to the backyard, to the left far side after the living room is a large kitchen. A flight of stairs blocks half of the entrance to the kitchen, leading upstairs.

"Welcome to my home sweet home" Harry says and spreads his arms dramatically

"Do you actually call it home?" I say

"Actually no" he half smiles.

I walk over to the far back of the living room where there's picture frames. The first is of a little boy with a slightly older girl, both with familiar smiles. Gemma and Harry. The next looks recent, both are there but I also recognize Anne and who I guess is his step father. I'd only seen a couple pictures of him but the Christmas tree in the back makes them look like family and I can only put one and two together. The last picture frame has four pictures in it; Harry, Gemma and another boy in one, Anne and his step dad, who I guess is Harry's dad, and Gemma and him in front of what seems to be their house. I wonder of his childhood and wonder if he was a happy child considering his parents' divorce.

"I loved that house" I jump; his voice startled me, I didn't notice him standing behind me. He takes the frame form my hands and he looks at it with a smile. "We moved there after mum and dad got divorced"

"How did you take it?" he puts the frame down and I turned to look at him, he's still looking at the frame.

"My sister and I knew it was coming, I didn't want it to happen but Gemma got me through it. She always knew what to say" he points to the couch and we walk over to sit, "she would tell me that mum would be mum and dad would be dad just happier. That's how I knew that people sometimes say goodbye to each other even when they thought they wouldn't"

Hearing him say that makes me wonder if mother would've been happier if she divorced dad, if I would've had her longer..

"I was happy in that house, I got to see dad and mum get along. In that house is where I dreamed my dreams" he smiles, his eyes far away, probably back in that house where he sang around and made silly jokes to make his sister and mum laugh.

"It's crazy to say that those dreams came true, and things that I never thought of happened" his green eyes come back and find my brown ones. "I mean, in a couple of days I'm going to my own movie premiere!" he says excitedly

"Movie premiere!" I knew their movie was coming out this month but I never concluded they would actually have a premiere. Which is stupid because they're the biggest boy band and it will probably be the biggest premiere, "That's amazing Harry, I'm actually really proud of you guys" images of the boys wining their first BRIT come to mind and I smile, they've come so far and now I sit here with my best friend and feel an urge to support him more than I ever felt the need to before I met him.

"Thank you" he smiles warmly, "would you like to come to the premiere with me Piper?"

"Me? At a movie premiere?" I've never been in a situation with Harry where he is mobbed, he's taken pictures with groups of fans before, like today outside the restaurant, but I've never seen this part of his life. Even at the concert I wasn't sitting with the rest of the fans, "Would I need to walk down the carpet and talk to people?"

"No of course not" he laughs, "You can be with Gemma and my mum, I'm inviting them too" relief washes over me and I smile. I would love to be there when something this big happens.

"Are you sure about it?" I say, I think about the fans and about Cara

"Yeah, the fans know you're my friend" he smiles widely at me, like he knows something I don't know

"What?"

"You don't know hu? They have like accounts dedicated to you" he says with a short laugh

"Really?" I've seen them for Gemma but not for me, I find it strange but I also feel a little better about being around them.

"How do you deal with it?"

"The 'fame'" he says as he raises a brow

"Yeah"

"I don't know, I just take it day by day and appreciate all the things we get to do because of the support of these people. Sometimes it does get overwhelming and even tiring but nonetheless I love what I do and I would never take it back" he smiles.

"I know that sometimes you're kind of the one in the spotlight the most, yet you don't call yourself famous" he scowls at the word.

"I don't like that word, if I start calling myself that I feel like I will start acting like it. I try to stay grounded and I hate it when people describe me as 'famous'. It becomes this thing they call me and they will probably use it after we don't do this anymore. I'm the same person I was before the X Factor" he says with an exasperated smile.

I think about my words wisely because i don't want to anger him, I can tell it's a touchy subject, "You might be trying to not change Harry, but do you truly believe you're the same person? Don't you think you're a lot more mature, wiser, you're probably more protective and careful of yourself. You've lived so much and experienced so much" his eyebrows are furrowed and I can see the shield he's building, "I'm not saying it is right for people to describe you as 'famous' but I also don't think you should say you haven't changed. I know some of the incredible things you've done and I know that you're a good man. That's what you are a good man."

"I just don't want to hear later people say 'Oh he was famous 10 years ago, now he's a bum' you know? I guess I've changed and grown a little" he says looking away, deep in thought again.

"People always change" I smile at him to let him know that it's a positive thing... Sometimes. He smiles back and I see the shield fall.

"Want to watch a movie?" he says out of nowhere, he can be so random, I can picture him starting to eat a banana in the middle of the movie.

"Sure" I laugh and try to find a comfortable position in his couch.

Notes

Sorry if the spacing is all weird, my laptop is being a little shit.