A life of Payne
It's been two days.
Two days since I lasted talked to Calum and said the most stupid things.
I feel so bad but he hasn't tried to call me and I'm so scared to call him first.
What if he's mad at me? I mean I know were not together but I still shouldn't have said that. I really like Calum and I want us to work out but I'm almost certain that I've ruined the closet thing I've ever had to love.
I knew I had to call him which is why I'm pacing around my hotel room with my phone in my hand but so far I haven't even worked up the courage to unlock my phone.
Okay deep breathes.
I can do this!
So what if he hates me and takes back his love, at least I called first right?
Okay that's not helping.
Stuff it, I'm going to call him and just get over myself so I can apologize.
My fingers moved against the phone before I was even ready and within seconds it was ringing.
"Hello?" A rough voice called out making me hold my breath because of how nervous I was.
"Katie? Is that you?" He sounded worried as he spoke louder this time making me sigh and unwillingly let out my breath.
"What's the matter baby?" He sounded so caring but I don't understand how he could be.
Wait did he just say baby?!
"I just wanted to call and say sorry for what I said the other day, it wasn't fair of me to say that and I'm really sorry." I blurted out my words before I had the chance to over think what I was doing.
I hate being the bigger person and I hate saying sorry to people but I knew I had to do this.
"Sorry for what? We haven't talked since the first day you left."
What the actual fuck!
I knew he was drunk but I didn't think he was that drunk that he wouldn't remember anything I said or even talking to me at all.
"Oh." I whispered softly and ran my hand through my hair out of habit.
"Did we talk the other day? I was really drunk and I'm sorry if I said something I shouldn't have."
I considered telling him what happened and what I said but that wasn't a very good idea.
"Uh yeah we talked but not about anything important, did you get home safe?" I asked and heard him clear his throat awkwardly.
"Um I went home with a friend but I was okay, don't worry baby."
I was angry with the unbelieving tone laced in his voice but I couldn't really say anything since I had kissed Niall that same day.
"I need to go." I seethed through clenched teeth and hung up before he could say anything else.
I threw my phone onto the couch and was next to where I was pacing and picked up a pillow before shoving my face into it and screaming as loud as I could into it.
Once I felt a bit calmer and chucked the pillow back where it belonged and stomped over to the empty music sheets I had laying on the small kitchen table.
I was trying to get some music done while Liam and the boys were at rehearsal but I couldn't think clearly and I thought talking to Calum would help me but all it did was make me feel numb.
A shaky breath escaped my lips as I grab the pencil off the table and wrote down that one word that resembled my life right now.
I felt like I had been staring at the basically empty sheet for hours before I angrily snatched it off the table and scrunched it up before throwing it mindlessly over my shoulder.
I closed my eyes for a minute and rested my head on the cold wooden table but couldn't fall asleep.
Sleeping alone isn't an option, ever since I left Calum in Australia, Liam would stay with me until I fell asleep.
I knew I was tired so I stood up and walked straight out of my hotel room hoping to see if Liam was back from rehearsal yet.
Waiting patiently after I knocked, he opened the door within a few seconds.
"You're dressed nicely." I noted as I looked over his outfit, was he going somewhere?
"Uh yeah me and the boys are going out for the night, I hope you don't mind." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he looked anywhere but me.
"You're leaving me here alone?" I whispered as I let my shoulders drop slightly in disappointment.
"Well not really, one of us didn't feel like going out because he was tired so if you really don't want to sleep alone then you can always go see him." He gave me a small smile which I didn't return.
I looked blankly at him for a moment before speaking up again.
"Who?" I asked knowing that Liam would understand me.
"If you want to know that then you'll just have to go see him yourself. It's the room right next to mine." He said and gave me a kiss on the cheek as he walked away and towards the elevator.
I honestly didn't know whose room was next to Liam's.
It changes every time we change hotels and I hadn't paid attention this time and I have been in my own room since we got here yesterday.
Who was it and the hell wouldn't Liam tell me?
I turned back to my room and considered just trying to fall asleep by myself but I really didn't like the sound of that.
Huffing out a breath, I quietly walked over to the next door and knocked softly this time.
I haven't been shy around these boys for months now but the idea of asking one of them who isn't my biological brother to cuddle with me so I can fall asleep is sort of awkward.
The door opened quietly and I continued to look down at my feet as I fumbled with my fingers.
Whoever it was didn't say anything so I decided to speak up.
"Um Liam said I could come ask you if it's okay if I stay here for the night, I mean you don't have to say yes, like it's totally fine if you say no."
Oh god I feel stupid.
A finger lightly traced my cheek bone before he tilted my chin up so I was met with the pretty blue eyes of Niall.
I haven't talked to him since we kissed two days ago.
Being the giant coward I am, I ran out of his hotel room that day and now I'm standing within touching distance of him.
"It would be my pleasure to keep you company for the night." He spoke softly and grabbed my hand to lead me further into the hotel room before closing the door behind us.
I let go of his hand and walked to the couch since it was a little to much to be in his bedroom.
He sat down next to me and moved some of his stuff off the couch, I caught site of one of the books he was reading and giggled slightly.
"You're reading The fault in our stars?" I asked and he blushed while nudging my shoulder softly.
"It's a good book."
"And a good movie, I wish someone would be my Augustus Waters." I said dreamily as I recalled the prefect man that was Augustus.
"Oh god, who took you to see that? Now you're going to compare everybody to him."
I swallowed the lump in my throat before speaking again.
"Calum took me to see it." I mumbled and looked away from him.
"Hey, is everything okay?" He asked warningly as he tilted my head to look at him again.
It grew awkward so he suggested we watch a movie and he turned on netflix and was scrolling through the endless choices.
I must of moved my neck the wrong way because it was really sore so I reached up and tried to rub the side of my neck but it didn't seem to do anything.
"Sore?" Niall asked me while turning his attention away from the television, I weakly nodded and he put down the remote and grabbed my hand.
"Come here." He puled me to straddle his lap and I hesitated but did it anyway.
He softly pushed my head to rest on his shoulder before he pulled my hair over one of my shoulders so it was out of his way.
I closed my eyes as I felt him place one of his hands on my neck, he started off soft as he rubbed circles into my neck before he added more pressure.
"Woah." I whispered and heard him chuckle.
It felt amazing and suddenly I forgot my neck was sore to begin with, the warmth his hands left on me was incredible.
I felt a knot in my chest as I grew guilty because of what we were doing but it vanished just as fast when I focused back on his patterns he was rubbing into my neck.
"Feeling better?" He whispered and I nodded not trusting my voice.
Soon his hands slowly retreated and I felt a warm kiss being placed where his hands once were.
He slowly trailed his kisses down my neck and onto my shoulder, I was so comfortable that I snuggled into him more making his chest rumble with a quiet laugh.
"Are you tired?" He asked and I nodded preparing to move back to my original spot on the couch but he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed the top of my head.
"Go to sleep." He whispered as he picked up the remote again and put some movie on as background noise so it wasn't as quiet.
"O-okay" I replied tiredly as I was on the verge of sleep.
"I've got you, princess"
And with that I let sleep overtake me.
I feel so bad about lying to Katie.
Well technically I didn't lie I just told her that I was going out which isn't a lie.
Harry, Louis and Zayn are going to the club I'm just not going with them. But if I told her where I was really going then she'd probably hate me.
I feel like a freaking traitor choosing Sophia over my own sister.
But we're in Brazil now and for some unknown reason Sophia came all the way out here to see me so the least I could do was go and see her for one night, but I am definitely not sleeping with her again like when Katie was on tour with Calum.
I still feel disgusted with myself for that after the way she treated Katie.
My thoughts were cut off when the car stopped outside the club where I was meeting Sophia, I wanted to see her somewhere that was public so she couldn't attempt to many moves.
Thankfully this club was on the other side of town to our hotel and to the club where the other boys had gone so I was completely safe.
I got into the club with ease and had to spend about ten minutes looking before I found her in the VIP section.
"LIAM!" She slurred an stumbled over to me.
My eyebrows scrunched together in confusion as I took in her jacket.
"Isn't that Katie's coat?" I asked her and she giggled before bobbing her head up and down.
"I'm surprised I can fit the chubby kids clothes but doesn't it look good on me?" She twirled around and nearly tripped over her own feet but right now I was too angry to help her.
That was Katie's favourite coat.
It was also the only piece of clothing that she kept from her old life, she got rid of the rest saying she didn't want to remember anything because of them but she couldn't part with this one jacket. It was a yellow blazer and she wore it quite a lot and I almost feel as sentimental over it as she does.
"How the fuck did you get that?" I spat at Sophia and watched as she smirked at me.
"You're not as observant as I thought you were." She stared me down like she knew I was going to snap soon and eventually I did.
"Give that to me." I yelled and she bitterly laughed and handed me that coat without a fight.
I glared at her as she smugly took a sip of her stupid girly drink.
"Nice seeing you Liam." She said rather clear for her drunk state just as I opened my mouth to tell her I was leaving, It was almost as if she knew I was going.
I knocked softly on Niall's door to his hotel room.
After what happened tonight I decided it would be best if I started keeping a closer eye on Katie again so I'm going to take her back to my room.
I heard a faint 'come in' so I slowly opened the door to the room and found Katie and Niall on the couch. Katie was straddling Niall but it took me a second to realize that she was actually asleep and nothing was going on.
Katie had her arms wrapped around Niall's neck while he rested his head on top of hers.
It was rather cute.
"I see she fell asleep. Good job." I chuckled as I walked closer to them and Niall smiled proudly.
"Why is she so afraid to sleep alone?" He asked and I sighed knowing that I had to find a way of explaining it without making myself out to be a huge dick head.
"Ever since she moved out here and became a Payne she's had trouble believing that we won't leave her alone like her old family did, they just cut her off as soon as she found out the truth. She doesn't like feeling alone even when she's asleep then when she started getting involved with boys and the university drama she just kind of broke. After that she started sneaking into my room every night and depended on me, when she went to america with Calum she depended on him." I paused to look at him an he had a look of guilt like he knew he had caused a lot of Katie's stress.
"Self happiness isn't something she's good at, she needs someone she can count on to pick her up when she falls and to hold her when she has nightmares." I finished and turned my gaze to Katie as I watched her sleep peacefully.
"Why would she have nightmares?" Niall asked as he carefully smoothed down Katie's hair.
"She's never told me what there about." I shrugged and looked around the room.
I noticed a yellow fluffy blanket folded neatly on the table and lightly laughed.
"Is that your blanket?" I asked and Niall blushed slightly.
"I brought it for Katie yesterday, I was going to give it to her but she fell asleep before I got the chance."
"God that's adorable. Stop that." He laughed at my words before I walked over to the fluffy material and unfolded it before placing it around Katie as I lifted her into my arms.
"Hope you enjoyed your time with her." I winked and he laughed.
I turned around to leave his hotel room when he called out to me from his spot on the couch and I turned to look at him again.
"Why are you helping me with Katie? I mean you helped Calum get her and now you're doing the exact same with me, why?" He asked as he stood up and walked slightly closer to us.
"Because I'm a nice person?" I said but it came out more like a question.
He gave me that 'I don't believe that bullshit answer' kind of look making me cough lightly and adjust Katie in my arms so she wouldn't wake up.
"Really Liam. Why are you helping me?"
"Because I want Katie to be happy and I really don't care who it's with. I'm a pretty shitty ass big brother so if someone else can make her happy then I'm happy."
Okay I know my updating skills utterly SUCK!
But honestly guys, if you commented and voted as mush as you did with last chapter but for all chapters then maybe I would find my motivation for this story again.