Katie's POV

"Come on girls, lets start heading to the car." Liam said while he was looking around the airport to see how many girls have noticed him.

Unlucky for us the amount of girls that had seen Liam was quite a lot.

The fans started to circle around Liam, making it hard for me and Ashley to even see him.
It was just like this earlier today when I was getting my licence.

But the only thing good about the fans today is that some of them actually bothered to say happy birthday to me.

Liam continued to take countless amounts of pictures with fans and sign random objects for them while Ash and I stood off to the side.

It's not that I don't like interacting with the fans but every time I try I cant help the memories in the back of my head, the memories of that girl ruining my face on the day I first arrived to London.

Well she didn't really ruin my face, it's actually starting to fade now so I can cover it perfectly with some concealer. Unlike the marks that Sophia left on my wrist, they haven't faded at all so I've been wearing long sleeves to cover the bandage. Thank heavens that it is winter over here so no one will question it.

I hate that I had to go through winter in New Zealand and now London straight after.

All these thoughts about my long sleeves and nails marks on my face and wrist just downed my mood majorly. The next thing I knew I could feel the tears starting to form behind my eyes. Jesus! Not on my birthday!

"Hey Katie? Are you okay?" Ash asked while rubbing my back. I'm not even crying yet and she already knows I'm upset. God I love this girl so much.

"Uh sure, I just uh want to wait in the car." I managed to croak out while walking towards Liam who was talking to a small group of girls.

"Hey Liam. Were just going to wait in the car okay?" I asked him making him and the group of girls turn to look at me.

Every girl in the group gasped when they saw me. That is one reaction I haven't seen yet, until now.

"Oh my gosh! Your Katie Payne! Wow your really pretty. There's not many photos of you on the internet yet so it was hard to tell what you looked like until now!" One of the girls rambled on while they others just stared at me. It's good to know that not all the fans hate me.

"Thank you." I smiled not really sure what else to say.

"It's actually Katie's birthday today so we should get going. These two lovely ladies have to get dressed for the party." Liam grinned at me as he talked. He didn't mention a party this morning!

"Oh wow! Happy birthday!" The main girl of the group hugged me. Not a big fan of hugging strangers but I guess I should be happy that I found a fan that doesn't hate me for no reason.

"Well it was nice meeting you but we should get going." Liam smiled politely to them and linked his arm with mine, then linked his other arm with Ashley's.

"I'm driving!" I said pulling the keys out of my pocket and swinging them around in my hand.

"But I actually want to live!" Ash whined making me put a hand over my heart and dramatically pretend to be hurt by her words.

"Well I drove to the airport and me and Liam are still alive, so you can just suck it up and get in the car."

_

"Oh my god! This place is amazing!" Ash squealed once we entered our house. I couldn't help but laugh at how amazed she was because it made me realise that just over a week ago that was me with my mouth wide open at the site before us.



"What this old place?" Liam laughed at her as he carried her suitcase away to my room.

I insisted that Ash was to stay in my room with me like when we use to have sleepovers back in New Zealand. My room was so tiny back then that we just shared my single bed, we never had a problem with it because we were best friends and didn't mind cuddling. Now that my room was huge and I had a very large bed, I felt lonely and tiny so I wanted to share my room with Ash.

"Why do you need such a large place for just the two of you?" Ash asked as she came and sat next to me on the couch.

I shrugged my shoulders and laughed again because her eyes kept scanning the room. Like honestly she couldn't keep her eyes still for more than three seconds.

"Liam lived here by himself before I was in the picture, could you imagine living in such a huge place by yourself?" I asked her while unlocking my phone and checking my twitter feed, I was always good at multi tasking so she knew that I was still paying attention.

"Honestly the things I could do here if I lived alone! My god there is no limits to what I would do." She leaned back against the couch as she daydreamed about all the crazy things she would do, and trust me a lot of it would be extremely crazy and embarrassing if someone found out but that's just Ashley.

"Come on! I'll show you my room." I laughed while dragging her down the hall where our room was.



"Oh my god this is so cute! And a lot better coloured than the lounge." I laughed at her choice of words because that's exactly what I was thinking the first time I saw this room.

"It's a lot of pink but I did tell Katie that we can change it if she wants" Liam shrugged as he leaned against the door frame.

"I like it how it is." I shrugged mimicking Liam.

"Well Liam it's time for us to gossip about girly stuff so you might want to leave." Ash giggled which made me realise what she meant by girly stuff, what she meant was it's time for us to discuss what boy I find attractive so she can try and make a plan for me to some how get with him and act like she had nothing to do with it.

"Alright, alright I'm leaving but I might accidently over hear so keep your voices down." He winked while he closed my bedroom door.

As soon has he had closed the door Ash tackled me into another tight hug like I had done to her at the airport.

"So? What's the gossip? I saw the fan attack you on E news! God what a bitch. Are you okay now? I cant really see the marks anymore which is good." She rambled on while she walked around my room and looked at all my new stuff.

"Yeah that was a bit scary but not as bad as my brothers girlfriend screaming at me and scraping my wrist with her nails." I said and watched her full attention turn to me as soon as I had finished my sentence.

"WHAT! That bitch! Can I see what she did?" She asked looking really sad.

I pulled up my sleeve and unwrapped the bandage from my wrist so she could she the deep nail marks that were left by that devil.

"So any new guys in your life?" I asked her not really wanting to carry on the conversation about my different attacks since I got here.

She laughed at my attempt to change the subject.

"It's been a week so no there's not. But what about you! Which boy do you fancy?"

And there it was. The question I was dreading. To be honest I knew I liked Niall but at the same time I wasn't quite sure if I liked him more than Louis. Louis was pretty great.

"Well I have always liked Niall but at the same time Louis is really great." I said quietly in case Liam was listening.

"I had a feeling that Louis' name would be mentioned in that sentence." She smirked like she knew something I didn't.

"What do you mean?" I'm so confused right now.

"Well I was watching E news before I got on the plane and there was a story about his birthday party, apparently their was a source at the party that told the media that you and Louis were glued together a lot of the night." She smirked again and wriggled her eyebrows up and down.

"He was pretty drunk though. He pretty much clung to me so I could help him up when he fell over." I laughed at the memory.

"The story said you left the party by yourself looking upset? Did something happen?" She asked while starting to unzip her suitcase.

"I was fine just really tired and bored. I hadn't been drinking at all so I was like the only sober one there. Karen and Geoff came and picked me up so I could get some sleep." I told her what happened then flung myself back onto my bed so I could look up at the ceiling.

"Get your lazy bum up! We have to start getting ready!" I groaned at how bossy she was being and sat up preparing for this amazing party Liam had talked about on our way home.
_

As me and Ash were getting ready I heard my phone off. I unlocked it to see a text from Louis.

From Louis:
Don't forget our little deal! I except you to fan girl like never before when you see me xx

That goofball. I laughed before replying to him.

To Louis:
Oh I didn't forget. Get ready to be impressed by my acting skills! xo

"You are so cute!" Ash giggled as she read my text over my shoulder.

"He got all cut up that I was more excited to meet 5 seconds of summer on his birthday then I was when I met these boys. He told me I had to fan girl when I saw him next. He is going to be impressed." I smirked at the thought of how I was going to act when he arrived.

"ASH! KATIE! The boys are here!" I heard Liam call from the lounge room.

"Show time" I laughed as we made our way down the hallway. Checking my outfit one last time in the mirror that was attached to the wall in the hallway to make sure I looked alright. I made my way into the lounge.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" They all shouted once we were fully in the lounge. I couldn't help but smile like a idiot at how awesome these guys were.

"Oh my gosh! It's Louis Tomlinson! I'm like your biggest fan." I squealed as I ran up and hugged him. He laughed and spun us around.

Once he let go I pretended to be shy and looked at the ground before talking.

"Do you think I could get a picture with you? I just really want to remember this." I said while trying really hard not to giggle.

"Anything for a fan." He winked and took a selfie with me on my phone.

I smiled at him being quiet impressed with my own acting.

"An actor at heart. But I still like to believe that you meant it." He winked at me before I went and said hi to the other boys.

"Hey Ashley! How you been?" Harry asked while pulling her into a huge hug.

The hug last a bit longer then it should have making the rest of us look at them weirdly.

Just then some other people started to show up and say happy birthday to me. Some of them I had already meet and others were just introducing themselves to me today.

Just as I was hugging Perrie, I noticed someone who looked a lot like Eleanor Calder walk through the door and go straight up to Louis.

They hugged each other before walking towards me.

"Katie this is Eleanor! Eleanor this is the birthday girl!" He introduced us and we talked for a few minutes before Eleanor walked away to go get herself a drink.

"I thought you two weren't together?" I asked Louis and tried my hardest to hard the sadness in my voice.

"We weren't but she came by on Christmas day and we decided to give us another shot and see if we can make it work this time." He said while looking down at the ground.

"Well that's great. As long as you're happy." I lied smoothly as I walked away.

"But what if I'm not" I heard Louis whisper but I don't think I was meant to hear him say that so I kept walking until I found Ashley and joined in her conversation she was having with Calum Hood.

"Hey there Katie! Happy birthday" He said happily and hugged me tight but I really couldn't care much right now.

"Excuse us I need some fresh air" Ash said before pulling me out the sliding doors and onto the balcony.

"The party only just started. What's got your panties in a bunch this fast?" Ash said while closing the door slightly so no one could come out here.

"Did you know that Louis and Eleanor got back together?" I asked looking out at the beautiful London view that the balcony has.

"Aw Katie, I get you liked him but it's your birthday! Don't let that stuck up snob and her desire to get whatever she wants from Louis ruin your night okay?" She spoke softly while rubbing my back.

I took a few deep breathes and gathered myself but just as we were about to go back inside Louis came out with a very determined look on his face, like he was looking for us and not just stumbling out here and seeing us. He asked to speak to me alone and before I had a chance to protest Ash was already walking inside.

I turned and looked at the view again trying to block out Louis but it wasn't really working.

"Please talk to me Katie." He said softly as he came and stood next to me.

"I don't have anything to say to you." I said trying my best to sound flat and careless but we both know that my voice had betrayed me.

"I know you like me. And believe me I like you too, god damn I like you so much but me and Eleanor getting back together looks good in the media and could you imagine how Liam would react if we got together? It's just a lot of work and you already go through enough being related to Liam, I don't want to put you through more crap that you don't deserve."

I stayed silent. Not really sure what to say back. Until tonight I denied that I liked him but it's hard to deny it after this.

"Please say something!" Louis begged as he reached out and tried to hold my hand but just before he did I pulled my hand away from him and took a few steps away.

He sighed realising that there was no way I would let him get that close to me again.

"I don't think your girlfriend would like you holding hands with a kid who literally just turned eighteen. Now if you don't mind I'm going to go and find someone closer to my age and pretend that I like them since I'm obviously wasting my time with you." And with that I turned and walked back inside.

_

It's like 11 now and I'm beyond drunk right now. All I wanted to do was get a bit tipsy to help me forget about that stupid Louis Tomlinson buuuuuut no! I had to get way to drunk but on the plus side I haven't done anything lame or idiotic yet.

Louis has been trying to come over and talk to me again all night but doesn't even get one word in before I run off.

"HEY!" I plopped down on the couch right next to Niall who was talking to Ashton or should I say Mr sexy drummer guy. Gosh I'm such a funny drunk! to bad no one else can hear what I'm saying in my head.

Niall's laughed knocked me back into reality. I saw Ashton and Niall both looking at me like they were waiting for an answer, shit did they ask me a question?

"Uh what?" I said then giggled because I had no clue what was going on.

"I said how much have you had to drink?" Niall repeated his question as he laced his fingers with mine. That's right I have Niall, Louis who? Louis nobody that's who! What does that make sense? God I'm drunk.

"Oh! um I don't know? Not that much?" I said but it sounded more like a question rather than a statement

Ashton got up to get another drink but before he was out of ear shot I yelled out to him.

"Can you get me another drink?" I shouted out to him hoping he would be kind enough to say yes.

"The only drink I'm getting you is water!" He laughed as he walked away leaving me and Niall sitting alone on the couch holding hands.

It was nice just sitting here with him so I didn't move but leaned my head on his shoulder as I started to get tired from all the different kinds of alcohol that I have had tonight.

"Are you okay Katie? You've looked a bit down all night." Niall looked right into my eyes as he talked. God he had such pretty eyes compared to my plain brown ones.

Before I had a chance to reply or even kiss the crap out of the gorgeous boy in front of me Louis walked over and had a very pissed look on his face once he saw mine and Nialls' intertwined fingers.

"Katie I still need to talk to you. You can't avoid me forever." He said rather sternly. What a buzz kill. I don't want to think about it right now!

I let go of Nialls' hand and used both of my hands to try and hide my face. Maybe if I can't see him then he won't be able to see me.

"I can still see you Katie." Louis sighed after talking and I could tell that he was running his hand through his hair right now.

"I said all I need to say to you already!"

I ran off to my bedroom because I really don't want to be around him right now. I mean who does he think he is saying that it would be a lot of 'work' being with me! I'm not that hard to handle am I? Maybe he thought I wasn't worth the work he would have to go through which is why he gladly took back that stupid Eleanor bitch.

Whatever the fucking reason, he ruined my mood as soon as the party started!

I very difficultly typed in my password for my laptop and signed into Skype.

I looked through my contacts until I found the Dobbs family's Skype. I googled what time it would be in New Zealand and it said it was thirteen hours ahead which means that it was my birthday yesterday for them and they didn't even try and contact me.

I pressed the call button on Skype knowing that my old dad would still be awake at this time. It didn't even ring once before it was declined meaning that they knew it was me and didn't want to pick up.

I walked over to the end of my bed and sat down letting my tears run freely down my cheeks.


First Louis didn't want me and now my family that raised me are trying to pretend that I don't exist.

What a fucked up night it's been. If this is what being an adult is like then I wish I never turned eighteen

Notes

I'm baaaaaaaack!
It's been five days since I put this book on hold and in that time I managed to get my hair cut to my shoulders, got piss ass drunk because I'm eighteen and can if I want, I got my first tattoo and got my boyfriend back in the most extremely cute way (and in that order lol)

Over these past few days I have realised that I'm a very insecure person but I always had Shane to make me feel good about myself, so having a big fight with him and not talking to him is what made me doubt that I'm actually good at anything. Pretty much I just felt worthless and incapable without him.

Anywho! Now that everything is sorted out I'm happier then ever before (:

And if anyone has a problem with my new found happiness then that's your problem for not being as happy as me! Nothing can bring me down right now xoxo