PIPER’S P.O.V.


The graduation ceremony is nice, I suppose. I don’t think about him too much, and it’s comforting to have Harry on one side and my parents on the other.

It’s sad to say, but I’m glad to be leaving it all behind. Especially now; though, I do feel sorry for my mom and dad. It may be selfish of me, but the only way that I’m going to come out of this okay is if I go to England with Harry. That is why there has been no slowing down in the moving process, despite the recent occurrences. Ever since I agreed to Harry’s arrangement, it has been the small light at the end of the tunnel. The baby, though, has been the big light.

Harry has also been extremely helpful since Cory passed. He’s been with me whenever it was physically possible, and he’s done everything I’ve asked and haven’t asked. If it weren’t for Harry, I don’t know if I would have eaten much in the past month, and my only normal conversations are with him.

Talking to mom and dad is just sad. It’s harder for them to put on a fake happy face than it is for Harry, and maybe that’s why I cry overtime I see them. I’ve petty much just been cooped up in my old bedroom for a month, reading pregnancy books and planning out our new life in England online. I’ve looked at doctor’s offices near Harry’s flat, found the closest grocery stores, and even mapped out some of the places that I’d like to see before I get too pregnant.

After the ceremony, my parents take us all out for a nice dinner before we all went back to our house. We’re gathered around our kitchen table, drinks in front of everyone except for me.

“So, Riley dear,” my mother forces a kind smile, holding my father’s hand on the table, “I just want you to know how proud we are of you. You’ve always been like another child of ours, and I’m so glad that hasn’t changed over the years. We love you like one of our own, and now, more than ever, I’m so immensely happy to have you around.”

Riley blushes, looking down at her lap. I know how she feels about conversations like that. Any time that she’s praised, or audibly loved, she shuts down, not knowing what to say in return.

“Thanks, I love you guys too,” Riley mumbles, Liam’s arm draping over her shoulders.
My parents know better than to push that conversation any farther at the risk of Riley ending up embarrassed.

“What are your plans now, Riles?” My dad asks, taking a sip from his whiskey.
Riley simply shrugs, looking around at each of us. We’re all so uncharacteristically quiet, and it’s eerie to say the least.

She finally responds, “I don’t really know. I’ll go to grad school eventually, but I may just try to find something for work at first. I’d actually,” she glances at me slowly, “I’d really like to help Piper settle in if she’ll have me. I feel like it would be good for both of us; I could help her, and I could also, like- get away?”

I smile to myself, a few tears forming in my eyes. Not tears of sadness, but tears of relief, “I’d love that.”

She grins as Liam quickly kisses her cheek, “I think we’d all love that,” he adds.

Harry smiles, still not the smile that makes his eyes wrinkle, but I can tell that he likes the idea. he takes a sip of his beer and glances at me for approval. I simply roll my eyes jokingly. He’s been doing this ever since I found out I was pregnant. He literally asks me before every time he has a drink. I tell him that I don’t mind, but he doesn’t want to make me feel left out. It’s sweet really, and no matter what I say, he never drinks more than one glass of anything.

After talking for almost an hour, my father stands up, sloshing around the last sip of his whiskey, “Well, I’m off to bed. Tomorrow is my first day back at work, unfortunately.”

He walks around the table and hugs each of us, starting with mom and ending with Riley.

I love the way Harry hugs my dad; he tries to still act manly, patting him on the back, but he really loves him and that’s still obvious. Harry has gotten closer to my parents in the past month than I ever expected. He goes grocery shopping for my mom, and even cooks sometimes when she’ll let hm. It’s quite endearing.

I hate to think that it’s because he blames himself.

“Night dad,” I wave curtly and he smiles back, walking over to place another kiss on the top of my head.

“Goodnight, sweet girl. Love you,” he mutters before walking toward his bedroom.

“I hate to be a party pooper, but I should probably head up as well. I have lots to do tomorrow," Mom stands up, gathering the few empty glasses and dessert plates from the table. I stand up to help, only Harry stops me. He pecks my cheek before swiftly standing and collecting the rest of the dishes.

“Thank you, Harry,” my mom yawns between her sentence, “You don’t have to do that, honey.”

“Go to bed, Marie. I’ve got it,” he leans over to kiss my mom’s cheek next, arms full of plates and cups.

My mom thanks him again and says goodnight to everyone before heading upstairs behind dad.

“You know,” Harry speaks up after my mom has left, “If you girls would like to spend some time together, I can head back to the dorm with Liam and get the rest of your things together, Piper.”

I don’t like being put on the spot like this. After how long this day has been, I want nothing more than to curl up in bed and cuddle with Harry until I cry myself to sleep; not necessarily from sadness, but from being overwhelmed.

However, I know that I need Riley. I’ve started to rely too heavily on Harry, and I don’t want it to affect my relationship with anyone.

“That’d be nice, babe. I hate that you’re packing all my shit by yourself, though,” I admit, because it does make me feel guilty.

“Nonsense,” Liam interrupts, standing up to help Harry load the dishwasher, “He’s got me to help, and there really isn’t much left.”

I nod grimly, feeling even more wrong because his friend is being dragged into it, “Well, thank you. I can help tomorrow, if you’d like.”

“Nah,” Harry grins, rinsing off the last plate, “We’ll get it done tonight. Just worry about resting and preparing for the move.”

I smile thankfully, because I really am glad for his help. The circumstances are just less than ideal, and I hate that he feels the need to stick around when there are a billion other places he should be instead. Like with Andrea.

“Tomorrow we should also check in with Andy,” I suggest, and he nods wholeheartedly. Today has actually been Harry’s best day in a while.

“Yeah, I’d love that. We can call around lunch time,” Liam hands Harry the last dish, and Harry starts the dishwasher.

Riley is still sitting in her seat, silent and pondering. I decide to ignore it until later when we can be alone.

“Well, if that’s it, I think Liam and I will head out,” Harry states as he walks back to the table. I stand up, walking into his outstretched arms naturally.

“I love you, Harry. Thank you for everything,” I realize how vague and useless my thanks is, so I continue, “No one in my family would have made it out of this month with their sanity if it weren’t for you. You’re like our guardian angel,” I kiss him before he can retort with some stupid remark about being nothing special.

We get lost in the kiss for a second, the comfort of holding each other taking over our ability to process full thoughts, but I pull away when Liam clears his throat.

Him and Riley had already said their goodbyes, and I decide not to make this any more painful than it should be, which isn’t painful at all. I really have become to dependent on him being around. That’s dangerous when you’re dating a pop-star.

....


Once the boys are gone, Riley and I wash our faces and climb into bed, not even worrying about changing clothes. I think that we’re both so exhausted, that it’s a miracle we aren’t sleeping already.

“Piper,” Riley’s voice is small and weak, “I just want you to know that I love you, okay? And that I’m sorry.”

I roll over to face her, instantly confronting soaked eyes, and soft sobs.

“Hey, there’s nothing to apologize for,” I reassure her, but I know where this is going.

“Yes,” Riley protests, angry at herself, and maybe even at me, “Maybe if I hadn’t been so indecisive and confusing, he wouldn’t have fallen so deep. Piper, he was getting better. We all knew that! And then, I fucked it all up. It was me, Piper. All me!”

She begins to wail, and all I can do is hug her and cry along, “You can’t think of the what-ifs, Ri. No matter how badly I want to blame someone; anyone, it won’t make it easier. Cory was sick, and it sucks. It fucking sucks so bad, but there was never anything any of us could have done to stop him. We’re all sitting here blaming ourselves, but none of us would ever intentionally hurt Cory. He was so well-loved, and now he’s so well-remembered. That’s all we can ask for.”

Riley sobs into my shoulder, nodding in agreement, but still angered by the situation, “It’s just not fair! It should have been me! It should have never been him. He was always the innocent one; he always meant well, Piper. I don’t understand-“ her words become incomprehensible, and we just hold each other instead.

“Hey,” I whisper after a long time, when Riley is only hiccuping, “I have an idea.”

She shrugs as if to ask what it was, and I wipe under her eyes with my thumb, “Let’s go down to the lake where Cory always loved to write. We can have a picnic and say a few things about him, yeah? Just us. We both flaked at the funeral, and it’s not like we could say everything we wanted to there anyway. Let’s go, though. We need the closure.”

Riley sniffles and reaches my gaze, her eyes full of sadness and empty thoughts, “Yeah, let’s go. I have a lot to say, but I’m so tired. I’m so exhausted.”

I nod, pulling the blankets over top of us, “Yeah, me too. Let’s sleep, Riles.”

She turns over in the bed, facing my window, but reaches over for my hand, “Love you, Piper. You’ll always be the sister I never had.”

I squeeze her hand gently, “Love you, too.”


HARRY’S P.O.V.


“No! No, dude. You’ve got to-“ Liam slurs and stands up, balancing the red cup on his head, “You’ve got to like not focus too much.”

I lean back on my elbow, really not interested in his little game, but if he’s happy, then I’m occupied.

“Harry! Try it!” He scolds me, but I just lay completely on the floor, my arms and legs sprawled in the middle of the kitchen.

“I don’t wanna,” I mumble, staring at the ceiling.

I don’t know how I allowed Liam to talk me into drinking so much, but when we got back to the dorm, I had a bit of a meltdown. Acting so strong for so long has been wearing me out, and I needed room to let my emotions go.

“Harry,” Liam lies next to me, staring up at the ceiling as well, “Talk to me, mate. I think you need to talk it out.”

I stare blankly, my words leaving my mouth in monotone, “I’m exhausted, but I’m scared to sleep. I have nightmares every night of my girlfriend’s dead brother jumping off a building. The dreams are so vivid; I can hear the screaming, I can feel the wind. It’s like I’m right back up on that roof. I’m having a baby with the greatest woman in the whole world, but every time I let myself get excited, I feel guilty. I think about how they’ll never know their only uncle, and how one day they’ll hear about how he killed himself, and it’s just a sad thing that’s just casting over the family. Like it feels like this dark cloud that’s never going to pass. I can take Piper to London, I can fucking take her to Japan, and it’s going to follow us. It’s just awful. There’s no better way to put it; it’s terrible.”

Liam’s dead silent for a moment, and all I can hear is both of our breathing.

“I’ll tell you what,” he finally says, sitting up, “Today, I saw Piper and I saw her parents, and they acted like normal human beings. No one cried about him, and no one let it ruin the day. Harry, it’s only been a month, so if that’s possible now, it’ll amaze you what can happen in a year, or two years. Once that baby is born, it will bring so much joy to your life that the dark cloud following you guys around will be a ray of sunshine, with just a tiny bit blocking the light. He’s always going to be there, in your hearts and minds, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. He can be there to keep you grounded, to remind you of how great you’ve got it.”

And the next thing I know, he’s hugging me. We’re laying on the floor of Piper and Riley’s dorm hugging. And that’s when I start crying and laughing at the same time, “When did you get to be such a smart, philosophical drunk?”

He chuckles, “It happened when I became legal in the states. Legal drinking just does something to you, mate. You’ll get there one day, buddy.”

I roll my eyes and sit up, my back already aching from laying on the tile, “We didn’t pack shit, Liam.”

He shrugs, “Let’s sleep it off and wake up early. The girls need some time to themselves, and I think we do, too.”

I smile thankfully, patting him on the back before using his shoulder as leverage to stand up. I reach my hand out, and he takes it, standing up as well.

“Thanks, Li,” I hug him again, “I needed one of your pep-talks.”

He grins proudly, “I’m always good for those.”

Notes

yay! I'm finally getting back on a schedule!!! So, from now on, I should be updating this story every Wednesday! :D xx hope you all are well! Let me know what's going on in all of your lives. School is pretty crazy for me right now, but I'm doing well <3 please comment and vote if you haven't yet! love to you all