Mistreated
Deceitful
Iris’s POV:
The last couple of weeks have been nothing short of perfect. I finally moved back home a few days after Harry and I’s date. Harry even helped me pack and chatted with my sisters while he was at it. They were more than pleased to finally have a talk with him. Anyways, there wasn’t much for me to pack, so we were really helping my sisters move back to the house, if anything. My parents acted a little awkward around Harry when we were at the house. I don’t blame them since a teenage boy knew more about their daughter than they did. I can’t say they disapprove of Harry though. They actually seem to like having him around. Although, they haven’t really sat down and talked to him yet.
Harry and I have made Saturday our date night and every date has been super fun. On January 4th, we went to an empty soccer stadium that his sister’s boyfriend had access to. Not only did we play soccer, which I guess is football for him, but we also had a fancy table set up on the sidelines for us to eat at. It truly was a fun date. On January 11th, we went to the movies and saw “Frozen”. I’m surprised it was still in theaters, but it was the cutest movie I’ve ever seen. Definitely in my top five.
Also, guess what? Harry’s mom bought him a new car. Yay, no more borrowing Gemma’s car or walking. I still love walks though, so occasionally Harry and I take some. Especially to the track.
Another cool thing is I’ve started my dance lessons with Eleanor. Let me just tell you, I’m a fast learner. Not that I’m trying to brag or anything, but I think I’ve got it down. Perrie picked out a song for the try-outs and it’s a sad one, so Eleanor definitely had her work cut out for her, teaching me graceful moves. Twirls, leaps, posture, rhythm, kicks, movement, absolute pattern, timing, and muscle memory. There was so much for me to learn in so little time. It helped that Harry let me practice whenever it was just us. He’d even sing for me while I danced. Which brings me to this: Harry wound up joining the boy’s group for the talent show. They even came up with a name for themselves: One Direction. How cute is that?
Throughout the weeks, Harry and I spent a lot of time with his friends. I suppose I can call them my friends now. Except Liam. I’ve noticed Liam has grown more and more irritated with my presence. I keep trying to figure out where I went wrong and how he could hate me so much. What did I ever do? All of Harry’s other friends seemed excited with the idea of Harry and I dating. Niall even spent hours trying to come up with a ship name for us, which he failed at since he came up with nothing.
The thing is, everyone suggested I sit at their table at lunch when we get back to school. This could be the worst idea I’ve ever heard…
Monday January 13th
Well, if I’m going to hang out with Harry’s friends today, I’m going to need to look good. Lucky for me, my mom and I went shopping yesterday, mostly to bond but I got some great clothes out of it. Overall, I think I picked out a pretty great outfit. I decided to wear a plain grey t-shirt, teal skinny jeans, and black boots. Of course, I also had my black backpack and I wound up wearing a black fedora today. (A/N: I’m blind and can’t decide whether the hat is black or green in the link...just pretend it’s black)
I let my hair lay straight and put on a little eye makeup. I chose not to wear lipstick and wear Chap Stick instead. I feel iffy about lipstick. Like what’s the point in wearing it? Sure it makes your lips stand out, but it gets on your teeth and when you kiss your boyfriend, you mark him. Poor Harry. He got made fun of by Perrie for hours.
“Hey Beautiful,” Harry smiled as I walked up to him in front of the school.
“Hey,” I stood on my tiptoes and gave him a quick peck on the lips.
He grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers, “Are you ready for this?” I nodded as I closed my eyes and let out a huge breath. “Hey, I’m right here. Don’t let anyone bother you.”
I was hoping he’d say something along the lines of, ‘We don’t have to do this’, but that’s just wishful thinking. I shot him a half smile before we slowly made our way up to the door. Here we go.
As we walked through the door, my grip tightened around his hand. Today is definitely a day I’ll be needing his comfort. All eyes were on us as we made our way to my locker. Wide eyes, agape mouths, raised eyebrows, and gasps came from everyone: boys, girls, and even teachers. They all saw me walking by with Harry before, but they never knew I could stand a chance with him. They thought I was just another one of his one night stands.
We reached my locker and Harry released my hand so I could unlock it. He kept a hand on my waist so people could see he was serious as he made little conversation about Louis wrestling Niall over a tub of ice cream the other day.
“He really fell for her,” a girl said.
“Her trap,” someone added.
Harry leaned his head over my shoulder, “Just ignore them. Once they see you talking to the group, they’ll shut up.”
I smiled at him to keep up the performance, “I doubt it.” I haven’t been able to put in my combination since my hands were shaking so much. Everyone is staring, watching our every move. I can’t help but feel overwhelmed by all the eyes on the back of my head. I groan and bang my lock onto the locker.
“Hey,” Harry’s face was filled with concern. He grabbed one of my hands and stroked my cheek with his other hand. “It’ll be okay. Who cares about them? You’ve got me, the group, and your family behind you. We’re all here for you.”
His words soothed me. I could slowly feel the nerves fading. “Can you do it?” I pointed at the lock. “My hands won’t stop shaking.”
He nodded, “What’s the combination?” I told him and he opened the locker with no problems. I grabbed the things I needed and gave my boyfriend a thank you kiss before closing and locking it.
“Are you okay now?” he asked as we made our way over to Lou and Eleanor.
I nodded, “Yeah, I’m fine.” I’m lying. I’m not fine. I don’t want to do this. I don’t even want to be here.
No, Iris stop. You are no longer running from your problems. It’s time to face them and show no fear. No more letting them get to you.
“Hey you,” Eleanor smiled and hugged me. “How’s it going so far?”
“Just trapped Harry, that’s all,” I shrugged and she laughed.
“People are so stupid.” Ain’t that the truth?
“Flower!” Louis pushed his own girlfriend out of the way and pulled me into a bone-crushing, twirling hug. He calls me Flower like Niall because my name is a flower. I don’t mind since everyone in the group has a nickname.
I giggled, “Hey Lou.”
“Don’t crush my girlfriend,” Harry laughed as Louis set me onto the ground. I swear I heard everyone’s jaws hit the floor.
“Girlfriend?” a familiar face smiled at me. Riley.
Harry scratched his head, “Uh, yeah. Iris is my girlfriend.”
“Congratulations,” Riley walked over and hugged me. Okay…now I’m just as surprised as everyone else in the room is. Riley…my enemy…is hugging me…and I just stayed limp, unable to know how to react.
“Uh, what is happening?” I asked. That kind of just slid out, honestly.
Riley chuckled and pulled me away at arm’s length, “Ouch. I earned that one.”
“I’m kind of confused too,” Harry joined in.
Riley sighed, “I owe you an apology. Both of you. Actually, all of you.” She stepped back a little so she was facing all four of us. “I was going through a lot because of my dad and I started being Bitchy here. I took out most of my anger on Iris because I didn’t know her. I’ll admit I treated Iris badly even before my dad, and I honestly have no excuse for that one. I’m deeply sorry for everything. If I could take back every bad thing I did or said, I would. The fact is, I can’t and I definitely don’t expect any of you to forgive me. I just wanted you to know that I’m happy you guys are happy.”
All of us stood dumbfounded. I honestly don’t know what to say, or let alone, know how to feel.
She chuckled, “I didn’t expect you guys to know what to say either. I just wanted to be direct with you. So I’ll uh, see you around.”
She started to walk away but Eleanor shouted after her, “Wait!” Riley faced the girl. “Why don’t you sit with us at lunch?” I watched as Louis tensed up and furrowed his brows at his girlfriend. “You know, so you can apologize to everyone else?” Eleanor said, to help relax her nervous boyfriend.
“Maybe for a minute,” Riley half smiled. “Bye guys.”
“Well, that was weird,” I said before making a popping noise with my lips.
“Riley hugged her,” someone whispered from behind me.
I snapped my head towards the voice, finding two blondes staring wide-eyed at me. “Yeah, she did. Got a problem with that?” I snapped. They shook their heads and quickly walked away. Did I just scare them? I was just mad. I didn’t mean to freak them out. I just have a lot on my mind and I don't appreciate their rudeness.
“Calm down there, Tiger,” Harry chuckled as he snaked his arms around my waist.
I pouted, “I didn’t mean to be so rude.”
He shrugged, “They had it coming anyways.”
Ring! Ring! Time for class. Oh joy.
“Come on, I’ll walk you to class,” Harry took my hand to lead me there.
“No, no, no!” Niall ran over to us and grabbed the wrist of my free arm. “She’s my photography buddy!” I laughed as he dragged me away from a pouting Harry. I blew Harry a kiss, which made him smile, and linked arms with my best bud as we headed to the classroom.
“Have I mentioned how much I hated this class?” I shivered as I clung to Niall. We were assigned into groups of three to four to take pictures of each other around the campus for us to edit later. Guess who’s in our group? Just take a wild guess.
“Are you guys just gonna stand there?” a scratchy voice growled. “You’re supposed to be taking pictures of me.”
“I can’t even stand the sight of you,” Niall rolled his eyes. “Why would I want to take a picture of you?”
Scott chuckled, “Maybe so Miss Goody-Two-Shoes won’t fail her project.”
“I don’t care,” I shrugged. It’s not like I’m passing the class anyways. Although, I should work on getting good grades this semester so I can graduate. Oh well, missing one project won’t kill me.
Scott raised his brows, “Why don’t you model for me then?” I watched as he slowly licked his bottom lip as he eyed me.
“How about you get lost?” Niall glared at the dirty boy.
“Well, I’m not moving. What are you going to do about it?” Scott towered over Niall. Harry’s taller than Scott, but sadly, Niall isn’t. It didn’t seem to faze Niall though.
“Maybe I’ll break your fucking dick so you can’t rape anymore girls,” Niall spat.
“Okay,” I nervously chuckled and pushed Niall back. “Why don’t we just go somewhere else?” Part of me just fears Niall will do something stupid enough to get caught and suspended, even if it is highly impossible at this school.
I grabbed Niall’s hand and pulled him across the campus until Scott was finally no longer in our range of site. I sat him on a table and sat beside him, holding my knees against my chest. To lighten up the mood, he took my hat and started doing tricks with it before giving up and placing it on his head.
“So you know…” my voice trailed off.
“Everyone knows,” he frowned.
I sigh, “Not everyone believes me though.”
“I’ll be honest, I thought it was a little ridiculous at first,” he admitted. “But I saw you around campus: sad and crying or even running away. I realized a girl like you would never lie about something like that. I trust you and Harry more than I trust those stupid rumors.”
I scooted closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder, “Thanks Porky.”
“No problem, Flower,” he chuckled at his name. I felt his head rest on mine and sudden thoughts ran through my mind. The constant thoughts that leave me frustrated everyday.
Niall is protective of me, almost as protective as Harry is. Harry has been kind of ridiculous about it, making me promise him I won’t cut before every shower. He even tried to throw away my razor, but that’s before I reminded him I need it for my legs and armpits, like badly.
He cuts my meat and fruit for me too, like I’m a damn child. If a restaurant doesn’t give me already cut food, he makes them take it back and cut it for me. Not only is that humiliating for me, but the poor employees have to take a few minutes of their working time to cut my food up for me. It’s so stupid. I won’t cut anymore, I don’t have a reason to. Harry doesn’t see that though. He still sees the same broken girl that I refuse to be anymore.
I know I’ve said it before, but he has every right not to have confidence in leaving me alone with a sharp object. To be honest, I’d probably be the same way if I was in his position, but definitely with a little less babying. It makes me wonder how he treated Riley when he was trying to help her. Was he this suffocating? I know he means well, and that’s the only reason why I choose to keep quiet about what he’s doing.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Niall chuckled.
I shook my head under his, “Nah, you don’t want to know. What about you? What are you thinking about?”
“Lunch.”
I giggled, “Of course you are. Too bad this is only our first class.”
He groaned, “Uhg, don’t remind me.” I chuckled again and removed my head from his shoulder. I observed his concentrated features. His squinted eyes from the sun, crinkled forehead, furrowed brows, and his upper lip slightly lifted to show off a few of his pretty teeth. He didn’t look like the same happy Nialler. He’s always happy though.
“Are you sure you’re not thinking of anything else?” I ask.
He sighed and stared at his lap, “Yeah, I’m sure.”
“Well, I can tell you’re lying. Spit it out.”
“It’s stupid,” he shook his head.
“I, of all people, know that everyone’s problems aren’t stupid. So spill,” I demanded.
He scratched his arm, continuing to stare down at his lap. “Look, it’s just that all of my mates have love lives and I don’t. I just can’t help but feel…”
“Left out? Lonely?”
“Yeah.”
I sprawled my legs across Niall’s lap and forced his head up with my hands, but his eyes still looked away from me. “Believe me, I get it. But what are you waiting for? Pretty much all the girls at this school want to date you. Just grab one and date her,” I giggled.
He shook his head and chuckled as he placed his arms in my lap, “I wish it were that simple, but I do like someone.”
“Then, I don’t see the problem,” I shrugged.
His eyes finally met mine, “She’s taken.”
“Oh,” is all I could say. What can I say?
“I don’t mind being single, really,” he says after a while of silence. “It just sucks knowing I never had a chance.”
Poor Nialler. I placed my head back on his shoulder and hugged his torso, “Shall I give you the ‘there’s other fish in the sea’ speech?”
He chuckled, “No, its fine. I’ll get over it. Eventually.”
“I’m sorry, Porky,” I pouted. “I wish there was something I could do. Oh, I know. I could talk to this girl. What’s her name?”
“Uh,” he froze. “Not such a good idea.”
“Well, why not?” I scrunched my brows.
He patted my legs in a rhythm, “It’s just that I don’t want to ruin a relationship.”
I face palmed, “Oh, duh.” He can’t just go after a girl who’s taken. That would mean breaking up a potentially good relationship. “Well, can you at least tell me what she’s like?”
I looked up at him to see a smile creep on his face. “Well, you see…” he paused and looked down at me. “She’s so full of life. She likes to goof off, dance around, and go on adventures. I like everything about her: her personality, her smile, her pretty eyes, her hair, and her goofy laugh. There’s just something about her.”
“She sounds perfect for you,” I smiled.
“She is,” his smile flattens.
“Ready?” Harry grips my hand as we stand before the cafeteria doors.
I sighed, “No, but I don’t think you’re giving me much of a choice.”
He chuckled, “Nope, not really.” He bent down and gave me a passionate kiss on the lips before we walked into the roaring cafeteria. Luckily, I brought my own lunch so I didn’t have to stand in that gruesome lunch line. People practically lean over my shoulder to glare at me over there.
Then there was silence. Something I’m very familiar with happening to the cafeteria when I walk in. People stood in shock at Harry and I’s hand holding as we walked over to his table. I even watched someone drop their lunch tray all over the ground. Oops?
I awkwardly sat at Harry’s table and fake smiled at all of his friends. Why am I doing this? Wait, shut up. Suck it up. You can do this.
“So…” I stared wide-eyed at the table. I feel so out of place. I don’t even feel like I belong in here.
“I love your pants,” Perrie gushed. “They’re so cute. I’ve been wanting to buy some colored pants for the longest time.”
“Thanks,” I smiled. “I bought a few colors. I even got some floral ones that you can borrow. I know how much you like flowers.”
Zayn chuckled, “So does everyone else on the planet.”
Perrie rolled her eyes and lightly shoved him, “Jerk.”
“You love me,” he smirked. Perrie nodded and gave her boyfriend a quick kiss.
“You guys are so cute, it’s gross,” Sophia shivered, making us all laugh.
"Oh no, please stop," Niall said sarcastically. "You'll make me lose my appetite."
Harry rolled his eyes, “Do you ever lose your appetite?”
“Hey Iris?” Eleanor shifted her attention to me. “When’s the next time you want to practice?”
I thought about it for a minute, “Maybe tomorrow? Try-outs are this Friday, so I’ve got to have it down.”
She shrugged, “Works for me. It gets me out of my house and away from my mother.” I watched as Louis rubbed her back like he was comforting her. I wonder what’s up with that.
“WHY ARE YOU ALL SO DAMN QUIET?!” Perrie stood up and screamed at everyone in the cafeteria. “DON’T YOU HAVE LIVES?!”
I looked around the cafeteria at people who barely seemed to move since I’ve walked in. Are they not gonna eat? Are they all seriously this ridiculous? They all gulped, blinked and shrugged in response to Perrie's outburst. Finally, one-by-one, they started going back to talking and eating their lunch.
A figure made their way towards us and stopped dead in his tracks once he reached us. Liam. He groaned when he saw me sitting at the table.
“Hey guys,” Riley walked over with a smile.
“Why are you over here?” Perrie growled.
I ignored Riley and watched Liam whisper something into Sophia’s ear. Sophia looked pissed. I watched as he tried to walk away and she yanked him back by the shirt. She was fuming. What did he say?
“I wanted to apologize,” I heard Riley say.
Liam and Sophia both glanced in my direction before continuing their quiet conversation. Sophia finally pushed him away, done with what he had to say.
“I don’t think I heard you right,” Niall coughed at Riley.
Liam shot me a glare before leaving the cafeteria. I’m so done with his bullshit. If he’s going to hate me, can’t I at least know the reason why?
“I have to go to the bathroom,” I whispered to Harry. “I’ll be right back.” He nodded and kissed my cheek before I left the table.
I entered the hallway to find Liam walking away. I noticed no one else was around, so I knew I could be as loud as I wanted. “What is your problem?” I growled.
He stopped in his tracks and turned around, a scowl plastered to his face, “My problem?” He stomped towards me. “You want to know my problem? My problem is that you are deceitful!”
I scoffed, “That’s what this is about? You hate me because you believe all of those stupid rumors?”
“Rumors?” he laughed. “Bullshit. Andrew was my best friend and you treated him like a toy: your own personal sex slave.”
“Some friend you have,” I glared. “I thought friends didn’t lie to each other.”
“You’re right, they don’t. That’s why you and I could never be friends,” he spat. “You may have all of them fooled, but you don’t fool me.”
I rolled my eyes, “Are you done?” He nodded and started to walk away, but I ran around him and shot him a frown. “It’s sad you believe all of that.”
“Can I go?” he groaned.
“No,” I shook my head. “I listened to what you had to say, so now it’s your turn.” He exhaled deeply but gestured me to continue. “I dated Andrew, for a month. A month and two weeks to be exact. We had this extremely dorky relationship. I mean, I gave him a key and told him it was the key to my heart,” I giggled. “I really liked him, but he ruined me. He cheated on me with Riley.”
Liam shook his head, “Andrew would never do something so low.”
“That’s what I thought,” I bit my lip. “He’s a big softy. He’d never hurt a fly. I guess he just wasn’t feeling it with me anymore. So yeah, he cheated on me. Also, we never had sex. I wanted to save myself till marriage, and he understood that.”
“Wanted to?” he raised his brows.
I sighed, “I’m sure you believe that I lied about being raped, but the truth is that I was. Scott raped me here, in the janitor’s closet. If I had any proof, I’d show it to you in a heartbeat. The only proof I had healed up.”
“I still don’t believe this shit,” he stared hard at the ground.
“Fine!” I yelled. “Don’t believe me! Pretend like the scars on my wrist are fake!” I held the wrist up for him to examine. “Pretend like I didn’t cut myself to rid myself of all the pain I’ve ever been caused! Pretend like my boyfriend actually trusts me around a knife! Pretend like I was never broken! Be an asshole! I don’t care! You’re just like the rest of them! All your friends, they’re the only ones who get it! If you listened, maybe I’d tell you the whole fucking story! You’d know how alone I felt! You’d know how fucking rude you sound right now! So go ahead! Act like you’re the victim! See if I care!”
I left him standing with his jaw to the floor. I didn’t expect to yell all those things but I guess I have a lot of frustration built up in side of me. It felt good to rant to someone, even if they didn’t listen to every word I said.
I walked into the cafeteria and stomped over to the table before plopping down in between Riley and Harry. I guess Riley made up with everyone because they didn’t seem to mind her presence anymore.
“You okay?” Harry asked, noticing me glaring at my lunch.
“Just peachy,” I fake smiled.
I hate school.
The last couple of weeks have been nothing short of perfect. I finally moved back home a few days after Harry and I’s date. Harry even helped me pack and chatted with my sisters while he was at it. They were more than pleased to finally have a talk with him. Anyways, there wasn’t much for me to pack, so we were really helping my sisters move back to the house, if anything. My parents acted a little awkward around Harry when we were at the house. I don’t blame them since a teenage boy knew more about their daughter than they did. I can’t say they disapprove of Harry though. They actually seem to like having him around. Although, they haven’t really sat down and talked to him yet.
Harry and I have made Saturday our date night and every date has been super fun. On January 4th, we went to an empty soccer stadium that his sister’s boyfriend had access to. Not only did we play soccer, which I guess is football for him, but we also had a fancy table set up on the sidelines for us to eat at. It truly was a fun date. On January 11th, we went to the movies and saw “Frozen”. I’m surprised it was still in theaters, but it was the cutest movie I’ve ever seen. Definitely in my top five.
Also, guess what? Harry’s mom bought him a new car. Yay, no more borrowing Gemma’s car or walking. I still love walks though, so occasionally Harry and I take some. Especially to the track.
Another cool thing is I’ve started my dance lessons with Eleanor. Let me just tell you, I’m a fast learner. Not that I’m trying to brag or anything, but I think I’ve got it down. Perrie picked out a song for the try-outs and it’s a sad one, so Eleanor definitely had her work cut out for her, teaching me graceful moves. Twirls, leaps, posture, rhythm, kicks, movement, absolute pattern, timing, and muscle memory. There was so much for me to learn in so little time. It helped that Harry let me practice whenever it was just us. He’d even sing for me while I danced. Which brings me to this: Harry wound up joining the boy’s group for the talent show. They even came up with a name for themselves: One Direction. How cute is that?
Throughout the weeks, Harry and I spent a lot of time with his friends. I suppose I can call them my friends now. Except Liam. I’ve noticed Liam has grown more and more irritated with my presence. I keep trying to figure out where I went wrong and how he could hate me so much. What did I ever do? All of Harry’s other friends seemed excited with the idea of Harry and I dating. Niall even spent hours trying to come up with a ship name for us, which he failed at since he came up with nothing.
The thing is, everyone suggested I sit at their table at lunch when we get back to school. This could be the worst idea I’ve ever heard…
Monday January 13th
Well, if I’m going to hang out with Harry’s friends today, I’m going to need to look good. Lucky for me, my mom and I went shopping yesterday, mostly to bond but I got some great clothes out of it. Overall, I think I picked out a pretty great outfit. I decided to wear a plain grey t-shirt, teal skinny jeans, and black boots. Of course, I also had my black backpack and I wound up wearing a black fedora today. (A/N: I’m blind and can’t decide whether the hat is black or green in the link...just pretend it’s black)
I let my hair lay straight and put on a little eye makeup. I chose not to wear lipstick and wear Chap Stick instead. I feel iffy about lipstick. Like what’s the point in wearing it? Sure it makes your lips stand out, but it gets on your teeth and when you kiss your boyfriend, you mark him. Poor Harry. He got made fun of by Perrie for hours.
“Hey Beautiful,” Harry smiled as I walked up to him in front of the school.
“Hey,” I stood on my tiptoes and gave him a quick peck on the lips.
He grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers, “Are you ready for this?” I nodded as I closed my eyes and let out a huge breath. “Hey, I’m right here. Don’t let anyone bother you.”
I was hoping he’d say something along the lines of, ‘We don’t have to do this’, but that’s just wishful thinking. I shot him a half smile before we slowly made our way up to the door. Here we go.
As we walked through the door, my grip tightened around his hand. Today is definitely a day I’ll be needing his comfort. All eyes were on us as we made our way to my locker. Wide eyes, agape mouths, raised eyebrows, and gasps came from everyone: boys, girls, and even teachers. They all saw me walking by with Harry before, but they never knew I could stand a chance with him. They thought I was just another one of his one night stands.
We reached my locker and Harry released my hand so I could unlock it. He kept a hand on my waist so people could see he was serious as he made little conversation about Louis wrestling Niall over a tub of ice cream the other day.
“He really fell for her,” a girl said.
“Her trap,” someone added.
Harry leaned his head over my shoulder, “Just ignore them. Once they see you talking to the group, they’ll shut up.”
I smiled at him to keep up the performance, “I doubt it.” I haven’t been able to put in my combination since my hands were shaking so much. Everyone is staring, watching our every move. I can’t help but feel overwhelmed by all the eyes on the back of my head. I groan and bang my lock onto the locker.
“Hey,” Harry’s face was filled with concern. He grabbed one of my hands and stroked my cheek with his other hand. “It’ll be okay. Who cares about them? You’ve got me, the group, and your family behind you. We’re all here for you.”
His words soothed me. I could slowly feel the nerves fading. “Can you do it?” I pointed at the lock. “My hands won’t stop shaking.”
He nodded, “What’s the combination?” I told him and he opened the locker with no problems. I grabbed the things I needed and gave my boyfriend a thank you kiss before closing and locking it.
“Are you okay now?” he asked as we made our way over to Lou and Eleanor.
I nodded, “Yeah, I’m fine.” I’m lying. I’m not fine. I don’t want to do this. I don’t even want to be here.
No, Iris stop. You are no longer running from your problems. It’s time to face them and show no fear. No more letting them get to you.
“Hey you,” Eleanor smiled and hugged me. “How’s it going so far?”
“Just trapped Harry, that’s all,” I shrugged and she laughed.
“People are so stupid.” Ain’t that the truth?
“Flower!” Louis pushed his own girlfriend out of the way and pulled me into a bone-crushing, twirling hug. He calls me Flower like Niall because my name is a flower. I don’t mind since everyone in the group has a nickname.
I giggled, “Hey Lou.”
“Don’t crush my girlfriend,” Harry laughed as Louis set me onto the ground. I swear I heard everyone’s jaws hit the floor.
“Girlfriend?” a familiar face smiled at me. Riley.
Harry scratched his head, “Uh, yeah. Iris is my girlfriend.”
“Congratulations,” Riley walked over and hugged me. Okay…now I’m just as surprised as everyone else in the room is. Riley…my enemy…is hugging me…and I just stayed limp, unable to know how to react.
“Uh, what is happening?” I asked. That kind of just slid out, honestly.
Riley chuckled and pulled me away at arm’s length, “Ouch. I earned that one.”
“I’m kind of confused too,” Harry joined in.
Riley sighed, “I owe you an apology. Both of you. Actually, all of you.” She stepped back a little so she was facing all four of us. “I was going through a lot because of my dad and I started being Bitchy here. I took out most of my anger on Iris because I didn’t know her. I’ll admit I treated Iris badly even before my dad, and I honestly have no excuse for that one. I’m deeply sorry for everything. If I could take back every bad thing I did or said, I would. The fact is, I can’t and I definitely don’t expect any of you to forgive me. I just wanted you to know that I’m happy you guys are happy.”
All of us stood dumbfounded. I honestly don’t know what to say, or let alone, know how to feel.
She chuckled, “I didn’t expect you guys to know what to say either. I just wanted to be direct with you. So I’ll uh, see you around.”
She started to walk away but Eleanor shouted after her, “Wait!” Riley faced the girl. “Why don’t you sit with us at lunch?” I watched as Louis tensed up and furrowed his brows at his girlfriend. “You know, so you can apologize to everyone else?” Eleanor said, to help relax her nervous boyfriend.
“Maybe for a minute,” Riley half smiled. “Bye guys.”
“Well, that was weird,” I said before making a popping noise with my lips.
“Riley hugged her,” someone whispered from behind me.
I snapped my head towards the voice, finding two blondes staring wide-eyed at me. “Yeah, she did. Got a problem with that?” I snapped. They shook their heads and quickly walked away. Did I just scare them? I was just mad. I didn’t mean to freak them out. I just have a lot on my mind and I don't appreciate their rudeness.
“Calm down there, Tiger,” Harry chuckled as he snaked his arms around my waist.
I pouted, “I didn’t mean to be so rude.”
He shrugged, “They had it coming anyways.”
Ring! Ring! Time for class. Oh joy.
“Come on, I’ll walk you to class,” Harry took my hand to lead me there.
“No, no, no!” Niall ran over to us and grabbed the wrist of my free arm. “She’s my photography buddy!” I laughed as he dragged me away from a pouting Harry. I blew Harry a kiss, which made him smile, and linked arms with my best bud as we headed to the classroom.
“Have I mentioned how much I hated this class?” I shivered as I clung to Niall. We were assigned into groups of three to four to take pictures of each other around the campus for us to edit later. Guess who’s in our group? Just take a wild guess.
“Are you guys just gonna stand there?” a scratchy voice growled. “You’re supposed to be taking pictures of me.”
“I can’t even stand the sight of you,” Niall rolled his eyes. “Why would I want to take a picture of you?”
Scott chuckled, “Maybe so Miss Goody-Two-Shoes won’t fail her project.”
“I don’t care,” I shrugged. It’s not like I’m passing the class anyways. Although, I should work on getting good grades this semester so I can graduate. Oh well, missing one project won’t kill me.
Scott raised his brows, “Why don’t you model for me then?” I watched as he slowly licked his bottom lip as he eyed me.
“How about you get lost?” Niall glared at the dirty boy.
“Well, I’m not moving. What are you going to do about it?” Scott towered over Niall. Harry’s taller than Scott, but sadly, Niall isn’t. It didn’t seem to faze Niall though.
“Maybe I’ll break your fucking dick so you can’t rape anymore girls,” Niall spat.
“Okay,” I nervously chuckled and pushed Niall back. “Why don’t we just go somewhere else?” Part of me just fears Niall will do something stupid enough to get caught and suspended, even if it is highly impossible at this school.
I grabbed Niall’s hand and pulled him across the campus until Scott was finally no longer in our range of site. I sat him on a table and sat beside him, holding my knees against my chest. To lighten up the mood, he took my hat and started doing tricks with it before giving up and placing it on his head.
“So you know…” my voice trailed off.
“Everyone knows,” he frowned.
I sigh, “Not everyone believes me though.”
“I’ll be honest, I thought it was a little ridiculous at first,” he admitted. “But I saw you around campus: sad and crying or even running away. I realized a girl like you would never lie about something like that. I trust you and Harry more than I trust those stupid rumors.”
I scooted closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder, “Thanks Porky.”
“No problem, Flower,” he chuckled at his name. I felt his head rest on mine and sudden thoughts ran through my mind. The constant thoughts that leave me frustrated everyday.
Niall is protective of me, almost as protective as Harry is. Harry has been kind of ridiculous about it, making me promise him I won’t cut before every shower. He even tried to throw away my razor, but that’s before I reminded him I need it for my legs and armpits, like badly.
He cuts my meat and fruit for me too, like I’m a damn child. If a restaurant doesn’t give me already cut food, he makes them take it back and cut it for me. Not only is that humiliating for me, but the poor employees have to take a few minutes of their working time to cut my food up for me. It’s so stupid. I won’t cut anymore, I don’t have a reason to. Harry doesn’t see that though. He still sees the same broken girl that I refuse to be anymore.
I know I’ve said it before, but he has every right not to have confidence in leaving me alone with a sharp object. To be honest, I’d probably be the same way if I was in his position, but definitely with a little less babying. It makes me wonder how he treated Riley when he was trying to help her. Was he this suffocating? I know he means well, and that’s the only reason why I choose to keep quiet about what he’s doing.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Niall chuckled.
I shook my head under his, “Nah, you don’t want to know. What about you? What are you thinking about?”
“Lunch.”
I giggled, “Of course you are. Too bad this is only our first class.”
He groaned, “Uhg, don’t remind me.” I chuckled again and removed my head from his shoulder. I observed his concentrated features. His squinted eyes from the sun, crinkled forehead, furrowed brows, and his upper lip slightly lifted to show off a few of his pretty teeth. He didn’t look like the same happy Nialler. He’s always happy though.
“Are you sure you’re not thinking of anything else?” I ask.
He sighed and stared at his lap, “Yeah, I’m sure.”
“Well, I can tell you’re lying. Spit it out.”
“It’s stupid,” he shook his head.
“I, of all people, know that everyone’s problems aren’t stupid. So spill,” I demanded.
He scratched his arm, continuing to stare down at his lap. “Look, it’s just that all of my mates have love lives and I don’t. I just can’t help but feel…”
“Left out? Lonely?”
“Yeah.”
I sprawled my legs across Niall’s lap and forced his head up with my hands, but his eyes still looked away from me. “Believe me, I get it. But what are you waiting for? Pretty much all the girls at this school want to date you. Just grab one and date her,” I giggled.
He shook his head and chuckled as he placed his arms in my lap, “I wish it were that simple, but I do like someone.”
“Then, I don’t see the problem,” I shrugged.
His eyes finally met mine, “She’s taken.”
“Oh,” is all I could say. What can I say?
“I don’t mind being single, really,” he says after a while of silence. “It just sucks knowing I never had a chance.”
Poor Nialler. I placed my head back on his shoulder and hugged his torso, “Shall I give you the ‘there’s other fish in the sea’ speech?”
He chuckled, “No, its fine. I’ll get over it. Eventually.”
“I’m sorry, Porky,” I pouted. “I wish there was something I could do. Oh, I know. I could talk to this girl. What’s her name?”
“Uh,” he froze. “Not such a good idea.”
“Well, why not?” I scrunched my brows.
He patted my legs in a rhythm, “It’s just that I don’t want to ruin a relationship.”
I face palmed, “Oh, duh.” He can’t just go after a girl who’s taken. That would mean breaking up a potentially good relationship. “Well, can you at least tell me what she’s like?”
I looked up at him to see a smile creep on his face. “Well, you see…” he paused and looked down at me. “She’s so full of life. She likes to goof off, dance around, and go on adventures. I like everything about her: her personality, her smile, her pretty eyes, her hair, and her goofy laugh. There’s just something about her.”
“She sounds perfect for you,” I smiled.
“She is,” his smile flattens.
“Ready?” Harry grips my hand as we stand before the cafeteria doors.
I sighed, “No, but I don’t think you’re giving me much of a choice.”
He chuckled, “Nope, not really.” He bent down and gave me a passionate kiss on the lips before we walked into the roaring cafeteria. Luckily, I brought my own lunch so I didn’t have to stand in that gruesome lunch line. People practically lean over my shoulder to glare at me over there.
Then there was silence. Something I’m very familiar with happening to the cafeteria when I walk in. People stood in shock at Harry and I’s hand holding as we walked over to his table. I even watched someone drop their lunch tray all over the ground. Oops?
I awkwardly sat at Harry’s table and fake smiled at all of his friends. Why am I doing this? Wait, shut up. Suck it up. You can do this.
“So…” I stared wide-eyed at the table. I feel so out of place. I don’t even feel like I belong in here.
“I love your pants,” Perrie gushed. “They’re so cute. I’ve been wanting to buy some colored pants for the longest time.”
“Thanks,” I smiled. “I bought a few colors. I even got some floral ones that you can borrow. I know how much you like flowers.”
Zayn chuckled, “So does everyone else on the planet.”
Perrie rolled her eyes and lightly shoved him, “Jerk.”
“You love me,” he smirked. Perrie nodded and gave her boyfriend a quick kiss.
“You guys are so cute, it’s gross,” Sophia shivered, making us all laugh.
"Oh no, please stop," Niall said sarcastically. "You'll make me lose my appetite."
Harry rolled his eyes, “Do you ever lose your appetite?”
“Hey Iris?” Eleanor shifted her attention to me. “When’s the next time you want to practice?”
I thought about it for a minute, “Maybe tomorrow? Try-outs are this Friday, so I’ve got to have it down.”
She shrugged, “Works for me. It gets me out of my house and away from my mother.” I watched as Louis rubbed her back like he was comforting her. I wonder what’s up with that.
“WHY ARE YOU ALL SO DAMN QUIET?!” Perrie stood up and screamed at everyone in the cafeteria. “DON’T YOU HAVE LIVES?!”
I looked around the cafeteria at people who barely seemed to move since I’ve walked in. Are they not gonna eat? Are they all seriously this ridiculous? They all gulped, blinked and shrugged in response to Perrie's outburst. Finally, one-by-one, they started going back to talking and eating their lunch.
A figure made their way towards us and stopped dead in his tracks once he reached us. Liam. He groaned when he saw me sitting at the table.
“Hey guys,” Riley walked over with a smile.
“Why are you over here?” Perrie growled.
I ignored Riley and watched Liam whisper something into Sophia’s ear. Sophia looked pissed. I watched as he tried to walk away and she yanked him back by the shirt. She was fuming. What did he say?
“I wanted to apologize,” I heard Riley say.
Liam and Sophia both glanced in my direction before continuing their quiet conversation. Sophia finally pushed him away, done with what he had to say.
“I don’t think I heard you right,” Niall coughed at Riley.
Liam shot me a glare before leaving the cafeteria. I’m so done with his bullshit. If he’s going to hate me, can’t I at least know the reason why?
“I have to go to the bathroom,” I whispered to Harry. “I’ll be right back.” He nodded and kissed my cheek before I left the table.
I entered the hallway to find Liam walking away. I noticed no one else was around, so I knew I could be as loud as I wanted. “What is your problem?” I growled.
He stopped in his tracks and turned around, a scowl plastered to his face, “My problem?” He stomped towards me. “You want to know my problem? My problem is that you are deceitful!”
I scoffed, “That’s what this is about? You hate me because you believe all of those stupid rumors?”
“Rumors?” he laughed. “Bullshit. Andrew was my best friend and you treated him like a toy: your own personal sex slave.”
“Some friend you have,” I glared. “I thought friends didn’t lie to each other.”
“You’re right, they don’t. That’s why you and I could never be friends,” he spat. “You may have all of them fooled, but you don’t fool me.”
I rolled my eyes, “Are you done?” He nodded and started to walk away, but I ran around him and shot him a frown. “It’s sad you believe all of that.”
“Can I go?” he groaned.
“No,” I shook my head. “I listened to what you had to say, so now it’s your turn.” He exhaled deeply but gestured me to continue. “I dated Andrew, for a month. A month and two weeks to be exact. We had this extremely dorky relationship. I mean, I gave him a key and told him it was the key to my heart,” I giggled. “I really liked him, but he ruined me. He cheated on me with Riley.”
Liam shook his head, “Andrew would never do something so low.”
“That’s what I thought,” I bit my lip. “He’s a big softy. He’d never hurt a fly. I guess he just wasn’t feeling it with me anymore. So yeah, he cheated on me. Also, we never had sex. I wanted to save myself till marriage, and he understood that.”
“Wanted to?” he raised his brows.
I sighed, “I’m sure you believe that I lied about being raped, but the truth is that I was. Scott raped me here, in the janitor’s closet. If I had any proof, I’d show it to you in a heartbeat. The only proof I had healed up.”
“I still don’t believe this shit,” he stared hard at the ground.
“Fine!” I yelled. “Don’t believe me! Pretend like the scars on my wrist are fake!” I held the wrist up for him to examine. “Pretend like I didn’t cut myself to rid myself of all the pain I’ve ever been caused! Pretend like my boyfriend actually trusts me around a knife! Pretend like I was never broken! Be an asshole! I don’t care! You’re just like the rest of them! All your friends, they’re the only ones who get it! If you listened, maybe I’d tell you the whole fucking story! You’d know how alone I felt! You’d know how fucking rude you sound right now! So go ahead! Act like you’re the victim! See if I care!”
I left him standing with his jaw to the floor. I didn’t expect to yell all those things but I guess I have a lot of frustration built up in side of me. It felt good to rant to someone, even if they didn’t listen to every word I said.
I walked into the cafeteria and stomped over to the table before plopping down in between Riley and Harry. I guess Riley made up with everyone because they didn’t seem to mind her presence anymore.
“You okay?” Harry asked, noticing me glaring at my lunch.
“Just peachy,” I fake smiled.
I hate school.
Notes
Sorry I didn't update yesterday and I updated so late today. I haven't been feeling good...still. I should have an update for you tomorrow, as long as I'm feeling up to it.
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11/18/17