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(A/N: Anything that is just italicized and bolded in this chapter is a memory...besides the POV)



Thursday December 26th

Iris’s POV:

We had a quiet Christmas, sitting at Perrie’s and watching movies all day. We decided on not giving each other gifts which works for me because I have all I could ever want with him. He’s truly a miracle, turning my life around and being there when I need him.

He doesn’t know that every night I hear the voices and see the disgusted faces of my bullies in my head. I’ve been keeping it to myself. I feel like I’m going crazy and I don’t want him to know that. So I hide it, and I hide it well. It’s strange though because whenever I’m with Harry, the voices fade. It’s just me and him. That’s why I don’t tell him, because I’d rather just enjoy the peace within my mind.

“Time to face our demons,” Harry sighed from the other side of the phone. We’ve been talking for a couple of hours, trying to avoid seeing our parents, but we know we have to.

“Good luck,” I smiled and twirled my hair.

“You’re gonna need it too. Meet me at the track afterwards?”

I giggled, “Well duh.”

He chuckled and most likely rolled his eyes, “See you then, Angel.”

“Bye,” I said obnoxiously before hanging up the phone. I’m such an idiot, but he likes it for some reason.

I got up from the air mattress and went to the bathroom to change. I decided to wear an oversized sweater so my parents can’t see my scars and tattoos. Luckily, it’s cold outside anyways. I threw my hair up in a messy bun since I was too lazy to do anything to it; it’s bad enough that I even have to leave the house. Lastly, I put on some light make-up to look somewhat good for Harry. I usually don’t wear make-up at all, but Brielle got me into it and I actually enjoy putting it on. It’s like art.

“Iris, are you in there?” Skye knocked on the door.

“Yeah, just a minute,” I said in a loud enough voice for her to hear me through the door. After I finished adding the last bit of make-up I opened the door. “Bathroom’s free.”

Skye smiled, “Actually, I don’t need to go in. I was just looking for you.”

I furrowed my brows, “Why?”

“Mom and Dad called,” Brielle said as she walked over to us. “They want us to go see them.”

“Well that’s weird,” I chuckled. “I was just about to go there.”

“Well now you can go with us and I’ll drop you wherever you want later,” Skye grinned. “Let’s go.”

---

The whole car ride I kept thinking about what they have to say to us. Maybe they want us to move back in. Maybe they fixed things. Maybe they’ll actually talk to me and pay more attention to me now. They’re finally coming around. These thoughts had me smiling because now I can actually call that house my home.

Nerves took over me as we pulled into the driveway. What if it’s different? It’s always been that way. No one ever cares, no one ever listens, and no one loves me. Lately, I’ve been cared for but I still remain feeling unwanted. The things that have been said to me at school…they tear me apart slowly. Not even Harry knows what I’ve heard. He’s only heard the nicer rumors.

“You okay?” Brielle asked, shaking me out of my thoughts.

I nodded, “Yeah, just a little nervous.” And scared.

We got out of the car and started walking to the door that my dad was already standing at with a smile.

“My girls!” He grinned and held his arms wide open. Brielle and Skye immediately ran into his arms. I stood in the lawn from afar and watched as my father held them tight and told them how much he missed them. I wish I had that with him.

He lifted his head up and looked over at me. He smiled at my sisters and released them before making his way towards me. Wait. He’s coming over here? What do I do?

“Iris,” he smiled and wrapped his arms around me. “I missed you.” What is he doing? He doesn’t hug me…

“Y-y-you d-did?” Why the fuck am I stuttering? Oh right, because this is fucking unusual.

I felt him nod, “Of course I did. I’m very sorry for everything, Baby Girl.” Baby Girl? Everything?


“Thank you, for everything,” I smiled at Harry.


I felt tears roll down my cheeks as I finally brought myself to hug my father back. Does he really mean that? Does he finally understand?

He pulled away and held me at arm’s length, “It’s going to get better, I promise.” I nodded and hugged him again. After a few minutes of holding me he rubbed my shoulder, “We should go in. We have things to discuss.”

I feel more at ease as I follow him into the house and to the living room. For once, I feel like everything’s going to be okay. I notice my sisters are already sitting on the couch so I joined them, sitting in between them. Janice came in the room with two chairs, sitting them in front of the couch and planting herself on one of them, while my dad sat on the other. Yes, I still refer to her as Janice.

“Okay, so we’re just going to cut to the chase,” Janice rolled her eyes. Fuck. Anxiety rushed through me yet again. She doesn’t look happy. “Your father and I have been fighting constantly, non-stop,” she said while glaring at me. What did I do?

“I realized I’m not happy anymore,” my father sighed. Oh no. “And we decided it’s best if we get a divorce.”

“What?” Brielle and Skye shouted in unison. I sat there with my jaw to the floor. Are they really going to do this?

My father exhaled and dropped his shoulders, “It wasn’t an easy decision, believe me.”

“Bull,” Janice growled.

“Janice, I love you and I may always love you, but I can’t stand another second of being in this house with you,” my dad snapped. Whoa. What the fuck?

“You’re doing this because of that Little Brat!” she pointed to me. Huh?

“Let’s not do this in front of the girls,” he sighed.

Brielle wrapped her arm around me, “Yeah Mom, chill.” I guess she could sense my discomfort.

“Chill?” Janice stood up from her seat and stomped over so she was towering over us with fire in her eyes. “How can I chill when this thing is tearing our family apart?” she emphasized the word thing. Thing? Am I really tearing us apart? Is this all really my fault?

“She didn’t do anything!” Skye yelled in Janice’s face.

“Let’s not fight,” my father frowned.

“You know why I ignored you so much, Iris?” Janice smirked. “You were a mistake.”

“Janice!” my father shouted.

Janice rolled her eyes before staring hard at me, “I never wanted you. You just happened and you changed my life for the worst. I had to give up so much for you and it was all for nothing because yet again, you’re ruining everything.”

“MOM!” Brielle jumped up and screamed at her. “You are being such a Bitch!”

Tears were streaming down my face at this point. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. “It’s okay,” I said in a whisper. Everyone closed their mouths and looked at me with wide eyes.


“It’s okay,” I said in a whisper, standing up from my seat as I did so. The last thing I need is for Mrs. Clark to get fired. She seems to now be the one person that cares. My voice cracked, “Thanks.”


“Thanks,” I cracked the tiniest smile at Janice. I don't want them to fight anymore. I've done enough.

I found myself running out of the house, not before grabbing something off the kitchen counter. Something I’ll need.

“Iris!” my father called after me but I kept running. I bawled as I ran and ran and ran.



“Go kill yourself," someone said.


“You’re a waste of space," a girl scoffed.


“Why do you even exist?” her face was filled with such repulsion.



Why do I even exist? Why do I even allow myself to live? Why am I still here? God, why are you letting me go through this? Why are you letting me hurt so much?



“Hey it’s the STD Bitch," a boy laughed.


Another girl rolled her eyes, “What a whore.”


"Lesbian," someone smirked.


"Either she's fat or she's pregnant," a girl eyed me.


Liam’s eyes widened, “Wait, you’re Deaf Freak, aren’t you?” I nodded. “Oh.”



“Stop,” I cried. “Please stop.” No one loves me. No one cares. No one wants me. No one understands.



“I cheated on you,” Andrew frowned.


“You’ve been a naughty girl. It’s time for your punishment,” Scott smirked, grabbing duct tape from one of the shelves.


“Would you like some help, Sweet Cheeks?” Scott shot me an evil grin.



“SHUT UP!” I scream to myself. “Get out of my head!” No one gets loneliness like I do. I'm alone, being swamped by the monsters in my head. The monsters that make me want to end myself right here, right now. Harry thinks our parents are the demons, but the real villains are the ones that are driving me insane, tormenting me in the safety of my own mind.



“Raped? How dare you play such a cruel joke on your school!” Janice scolded me. “That is the stupidest thing you could’ve ever done! They could’ve gotten the police involved!”


Riley slapped me across the face and brought her fist in contact with my eye. I was spitting blood from my bleeding cheeks. My nose was bloody as well, and most likely broken. I was weak and unable to do a thing.


“She deserved it!” Riley shouted at Harry.



"No more," I whispered between my sobs. "No more pain." Why do I deserve all this misery? It gets worse everytime something bad happens to me. I just want to vanish in thin air and become invisible. I'd rather be invisible than be worthless.



I took the knife and began to cut again but someone grabbed it from me. “No!” I screamed and reached for it. Someone else ran over and held me to the ground as I kicked and screamed. “Just let me die! Let me die!”


“That’s it! I’m tired of making excuses for you! I’m done with you! I’m locking you in here until dinner!” Janice stomped out of the room and slammed the door. “No!” I screamed while running to the door and grabbing the doorknob. I got there just after she clicked the lock. “No, please!”


“I missed you Baby,” a scratchy voice sounded in my ear. I felt Scott's warm breath on my neck as he pressed me to his chest. “Did you miss me?”


“You were a mistake. I never wanted you,” Janice smirked.





Next thing I knew, I was knelt in the gravel next to the track, holding the knife I stole from the kitchen...

Notes

I decided to give you guys a cliffhanger and post the other half tomorrow. Love you, haha<3

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Question Time:

Will she do it?