Mistreated
Vanished
Wednesday December 4th
Iris’s POV:
Death. Every day I wish death upon me. Now, I’m staring right at it. He looks cold, yet he doesn’t shiver. His skin is pale, but it’s calm. He doesn’t blink, open his eyes, scratch an itch, rub a sore muscle, lick his lips, fix his hair, or walk. He’s left lifeless: no more family, no more friends, nothing. Death looks scary.
Riley’s dad passed away three days ago, shortly before Riley called Harry. He’s apparently been sick in the hospital for months. Kidney failure. He wasn’t getting worse, but he wasn’t getting better. Out of nowhere, he was just gone. Vanished from the world.
Harry didn’t know. Harry hasn’t even seen her dad since they’ve first met. He didn’t go to school so he could be at Riley’s side. Perfectly understandable since Harry is her only sane friend.
Friend. It pains me to say that’s what they are. Yet again, he’s ripped away from me, this time not being Riley’s fault but still being about Riley. It sucks. I wanted that date with him, but it looks like that’s not happening anytime soon.
“You okay?” Harry squeezes my side, noticing I was lost in thought.
“Yeah,” I half smiled.
Not many people showed up to the funeral. Riley, her mom, Harry, me, Perrie, Zayn, a few family members, a few friends…it was such a small gathering. Where was everyone? Was he a bad person? Was he alone? Was he incapable of keeping people he loved in his life?
Love. This gathering is supposed to be filled with it. Tears are streaming down almost everyone’s faces. Tears of love. All these emotions had me in awe.
I’ve obviously never been to a funeral before. I can’t imagine what Riley’s going through. She could even be in more pain than I’ve ever been in. This kind of pain is different. It’s the type of pain I’ve never experienced before. I’ve never lost a family member this way before. I’ve never had someone I cared about taken from me forever. For infinity.
“Are you sure?” Harry’s hand rests in my lap.
I sighed and intertwine our fingers, “I’m fine, Harry.”
It makes me wonder. What if I were to die? Who would show up at my funeral? Would my family come? Would Harry, Perrie and Zayn be there? What about Mrs. Clark? I imagine that’s all who’d show up, that is if my parents even want to come. It’d be another small funeral, just like this one. I don’t want that. I need to open up more, come out of my shell, and make more friends. I need to stop being the intimidated Iris.
What if my parents died? Would I show up? Of course I would, their funerals wouldn’t be another chore to me. Skye and Brielle? Damn right I’d be there. Perrie and Zayn? I’d be right at Harry’s side, crying with him. Harry? I don’t know what I’d do if he died. I don’t think I’d be able to show up at his funeral. In fact, I’d be going crazy.
Crazy. I’d be in a mental hospital trying to figure out how he just disappeared. His dimples, gone. His bright emerald green eyes, gone. His beautiful smile, gone. His silky curls, gone. His muscles, jokes, laugh, kindness, boldness, all gone. My other half would be missing. Without him, the world would mean nothing. Without him, I’d be nothing.
My eyes tear up just thinking about it.
“Come here,” Harry whispers. I obey and crawl from my seat into his lap, letting him hold me tightly. His gentleness, it would be gone. I’d miss this. I’d miss everything about him.
“Promise me you’ll never leave me,” my voice cracks.
He brushes his thumb against my cheek, “Angel, I’d never leave you. As long as you’re here, I’m here.”
I nod and sigh an undeniably relived sigh before placing the top of my head in his neck and listening to the rest of the funeral. It was beautiful. The way they talked about Riley’s dad, when they said their goodbyes, and how they blew him kisses after his casket was closed and they were lowering him into the ground. Once again, the emotions had me in awe. Will this love ever surround me? I envy them.
Monday December 9th
Harry and I haven’t gone home. We’ve been living in Perrie’s house, sleeping in the same bed, and holding each other close every night. We were so close, yet we were so far away.
I’d wake up in the morning, help him down the stairs and to his wheelchair, and then go to school without him. He was with Riley, trying to keep her eating, sleeping, and smiling. I understood he needed to be with Riley and I felt selfish for wanting him all to myself, but is it too much to ask that he kisses me more and calls me beautiful like he used to? I can’t tell what’s going through his mind.
Then there’s me. He only sees me at night and pulls me close like he was never gone. It was almost as if nothing had ever happened between us. Like we never met at the tracks, like we haven’t kissed, like I haven’t collapsed on his naked body, like he hasn’t been there. He was holding me, but the space next to me still felt empty.
Everything started over, like the healed wounds suddenly surfaced again. I miss him…but I almost want to go home. I miss Brielle and Skye. Why should I be here if I feel like Harry’s not with me? I could be at home in the comfort of my sisters’ arms. Regardless of how my parents would feel, I wanted to go back.
Today, Perrie convinced him to go to school. She told him she’d go to Riley’s today for him. Her mom actually allowed this, worried about Harry possibly getting dropped from the school. When I woke up, I helped him get ready before I got ready. No words were exchanged between us these days. It wasn’t our usual silence, it was just weird. Things felt awkward.
After we got ready we headed to the dreadful school.
“I’m gonna eat lunch with you today,” Harry whispers as we approach the school. I was a little taken back; those are the first words to come out of his mouth in days. He only spoke to Perrie, I didn’t get it.
“Okay,” I nod. I held the door open for him, but he didn’t budge. “Harry, come on.”
His head drops. He’s scared. Harry, scared? I know, right? People are going to see him in that chair and pity him. I wouldn’t look forward to it either.
“Don’t fear,” I smile. “At least they don’t know about your other tits.” I expect him to laugh, but he doesn’t. He just fake smiles and frowns back at his lap. “Please Harry. If you don’t come, you’ll only be as bad as me.”
He furrows his brows, “There’s nothing wrong with that.”
I sigh, “Fine. Don’t come. Leave me alone again.” Well fuck. I sound like a whining Bitch now.
“What?” he looks worried.
“Nothing,” I mutter. “Just come on.” He finally did as he was told, rolling himself into the school. I didn’t even bother saying ‘goodbye’ or ‘later’ to him. I just walked over to my locker, grabbed my shit, and went to my first class early. I sigh and try not to cry about our fading relationship. I try so hard to keep a grasp on it, but it’s like he’s given up. Did he stop liking me? Does he not care for me anymore? I’m I alone again?
I tap my pencil hard against the desk as I tried shaking my thoughts. He still cares, he’s just going through something. Stop being so paranoid, Iris. I’ve been becoming more and more paranoid these days. I suppose I have a right to, now that my worst nightmare is coming true. Harry could possibly be done with me.
My pencil hits the desk hard and goes flying to the floor. Idiot. I reach down to grab it, my hand touching another as they grip my pencil first.
“Here,” a blonde boy with blue eyes speaks. “You dropped this.” Is that an Irish accent?
“Thanks,” I half smile and grab it from him.
He points to me, “Hey, you’re the girl from the bowling alley.” I furrow my brows in confusion. “When Harry broke up with Riley?”
“Oh,” I smile. He’s one of Harry’s friends. “Yeah, I was there.” How could I forget? I met him when I was Clarissa. He was one of the sweetest guys in the group.
“Yeah, you were pretty beaten up. What happened?” he sat backwards in the chair next to me, draping his arms over the top of it and resting his head on them.
“Just a car accident,” I lied. “It was nothing too major.”
He frowns, “Wow. Well, I’m glad you’re okay.” Does he even know who I am? Iris Mercer? Deaf Freak?
“Thanks,” I say again.
“Well I’m Niall,” he held his hand out to me. “You are?”
I nervously shake his hand. Should I tell him? How will he react? “Iris Mercer.”
“Iris, that’s a pretty name,” he grins. That brought back memories to when Harry first told me that.
I grin, “Niall is an interesting name.”
“Good interesting or bad?” he chuckles and tilts his head.
“Good,” I nod.
“Well Iris, I hope I’ll be seeing more of you,” he stands up and pushes the chair back into the desk. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Wait,” I stopped him from walking away. Step out of your box, Iris. Make friends. “Do you even know who I am?” Not exactly what I had in mind, but okay.
He squats down next to me with a grin on his face, “Iris Mercer A.K.A. Deaf Freak. The girl no one seems to give a chance.” I curl my lips and nod. “Well I’m not no one. We should hang out some time, okay?”
I smile, “I’d like that.”
“Good,” he pokes my nose. “I’m not easy to push away.” He made a clicking noise with his tongue and walked over to his seat. I didn’t even know he had this class. I didn’t even think anyone in Harry’s group would show up to class early. This day is strange.
“Hey,” I smile at Harry as he hands me a tray of food. He got Zayn to bring his tray into the room for him before Zayn went back to his friends.
He nods me hello. Okay…
I pick at my grapes, “I met Niall today.”
“Oh?” his eyebrows raise as he picks up his slice of pizza to eat.
“He’s really nice. He wants to hang out with me soon,” I add.
Harry sets his pizza down and rubs his greasy hands onto his black pants, “Really?”
“Yeah,” I nod. “I’ll have to take him up on his offer.”
He shakes his head, “Why?”
“What do you mean why?” I partly laugh.
“Why would you want to hang out with him?”
I twirl the leaves of my salad around with my plastic spork, “It’s just be nice to make a friend.”
“No, Harry shakes his head.
“I’m not asking your permission,” I shoot him a look of shock.
“Well I won’t allow you,” he shrugs.
“Excuse me?” I widen my eyes. “You honestly think you can control me?” He just stares blankly at me. “You’ve practically been ignoring me for days. We barely speak and barely touch. You’re not you and I get it. You need to be there for her. Meanwhile, I’m alone. I need a friend, so yeah, I’m hanging out with Niall.”
He sighs, “I don’t want to fight with you right now.”
“Then don’t,” I scrunch my face. “I’m doing what I want, and that’s final.”
“Okay, Mum,” he rolls his eyes.
“Holy fuck,” I mutter. “Are you being serious right now? You’re seriously gonna be this way? Be hostile Harry again? Start treating me with disrespect like everyone else?”
His face suddenly softens, “Mercy…”
“You don’t get to do that,” I shake my head. “You don’t get to push away everything I’ve been trying to hold together. I’m hanging by a thread Harry.” I notice I’m not crying. That’s new. I guess it's because I already felt like this would happen sooner or later. It seems I mentally prepared myself for this moment.
I sigh, “I’m going home.” I grab my backpack off the floor and start walking away.
“We’ll talk about this when I get there,” he says.
“Not that home Harry,” I turn to him. His face suddenly floods with hurt. “I’m going back to my house to sleep in my bed and talk to my sisters. I feel like I’m stuck in a box with you, Harry, and you’re just waiting for me to do something. I don’t know what to do. I tried everything. When are you going to try?”
I watched as his eyes frowned. He knew I was right. He knew what he was doing. Guilt is washed over his face and clearly visible. That’s what I thought.
I walked over to the boy and kissed him on the cheek, "I'll see you around, Styles."
Then I walked out, walked out of the school, and headed to Perrie's to get the rest of my things. I'm ready to go home.
I was alone in this fight and I’m honestly just so exhausted. My bed sounds really nice right now. So do those Christmas lights.
Iris’s POV:
Death. Every day I wish death upon me. Now, I’m staring right at it. He looks cold, yet he doesn’t shiver. His skin is pale, but it’s calm. He doesn’t blink, open his eyes, scratch an itch, rub a sore muscle, lick his lips, fix his hair, or walk. He’s left lifeless: no more family, no more friends, nothing. Death looks scary.
Riley’s dad passed away three days ago, shortly before Riley called Harry. He’s apparently been sick in the hospital for months. Kidney failure. He wasn’t getting worse, but he wasn’t getting better. Out of nowhere, he was just gone. Vanished from the world.
Harry didn’t know. Harry hasn’t even seen her dad since they’ve first met. He didn’t go to school so he could be at Riley’s side. Perfectly understandable since Harry is her only sane friend.
Friend. It pains me to say that’s what they are. Yet again, he’s ripped away from me, this time not being Riley’s fault but still being about Riley. It sucks. I wanted that date with him, but it looks like that’s not happening anytime soon.
“You okay?” Harry squeezes my side, noticing I was lost in thought.
“Yeah,” I half smiled.
Not many people showed up to the funeral. Riley, her mom, Harry, me, Perrie, Zayn, a few family members, a few friends…it was such a small gathering. Where was everyone? Was he a bad person? Was he alone? Was he incapable of keeping people he loved in his life?
Love. This gathering is supposed to be filled with it. Tears are streaming down almost everyone’s faces. Tears of love. All these emotions had me in awe.
I’ve obviously never been to a funeral before. I can’t imagine what Riley’s going through. She could even be in more pain than I’ve ever been in. This kind of pain is different. It’s the type of pain I’ve never experienced before. I’ve never lost a family member this way before. I’ve never had someone I cared about taken from me forever. For infinity.
“Are you sure?” Harry’s hand rests in my lap.
I sighed and intertwine our fingers, “I’m fine, Harry.”
It makes me wonder. What if I were to die? Who would show up at my funeral? Would my family come? Would Harry, Perrie and Zayn be there? What about Mrs. Clark? I imagine that’s all who’d show up, that is if my parents even want to come. It’d be another small funeral, just like this one. I don’t want that. I need to open up more, come out of my shell, and make more friends. I need to stop being the intimidated Iris.
What if my parents died? Would I show up? Of course I would, their funerals wouldn’t be another chore to me. Skye and Brielle? Damn right I’d be there. Perrie and Zayn? I’d be right at Harry’s side, crying with him. Harry? I don’t know what I’d do if he died. I don’t think I’d be able to show up at his funeral. In fact, I’d be going crazy.
Crazy. I’d be in a mental hospital trying to figure out how he just disappeared. His dimples, gone. His bright emerald green eyes, gone. His beautiful smile, gone. His silky curls, gone. His muscles, jokes, laugh, kindness, boldness, all gone. My other half would be missing. Without him, the world would mean nothing. Without him, I’d be nothing.
My eyes tear up just thinking about it.
“Come here,” Harry whispers. I obey and crawl from my seat into his lap, letting him hold me tightly. His gentleness, it would be gone. I’d miss this. I’d miss everything about him.
“Promise me you’ll never leave me,” my voice cracks.
He brushes his thumb against my cheek, “Angel, I’d never leave you. As long as you’re here, I’m here.”
I nod and sigh an undeniably relived sigh before placing the top of my head in his neck and listening to the rest of the funeral. It was beautiful. The way they talked about Riley’s dad, when they said their goodbyes, and how they blew him kisses after his casket was closed and they were lowering him into the ground. Once again, the emotions had me in awe. Will this love ever surround me? I envy them.
Monday December 9th
Harry and I haven’t gone home. We’ve been living in Perrie’s house, sleeping in the same bed, and holding each other close every night. We were so close, yet we were so far away.
I’d wake up in the morning, help him down the stairs and to his wheelchair, and then go to school without him. He was with Riley, trying to keep her eating, sleeping, and smiling. I understood he needed to be with Riley and I felt selfish for wanting him all to myself, but is it too much to ask that he kisses me more and calls me beautiful like he used to? I can’t tell what’s going through his mind.
Then there’s me. He only sees me at night and pulls me close like he was never gone. It was almost as if nothing had ever happened between us. Like we never met at the tracks, like we haven’t kissed, like I haven’t collapsed on his naked body, like he hasn’t been there. He was holding me, but the space next to me still felt empty.
Everything started over, like the healed wounds suddenly surfaced again. I miss him…but I almost want to go home. I miss Brielle and Skye. Why should I be here if I feel like Harry’s not with me? I could be at home in the comfort of my sisters’ arms. Regardless of how my parents would feel, I wanted to go back.
Today, Perrie convinced him to go to school. She told him she’d go to Riley’s today for him. Her mom actually allowed this, worried about Harry possibly getting dropped from the school. When I woke up, I helped him get ready before I got ready. No words were exchanged between us these days. It wasn’t our usual silence, it was just weird. Things felt awkward.
After we got ready we headed to the dreadful school.
“I’m gonna eat lunch with you today,” Harry whispers as we approach the school. I was a little taken back; those are the first words to come out of his mouth in days. He only spoke to Perrie, I didn’t get it.
“Okay,” I nod. I held the door open for him, but he didn’t budge. “Harry, come on.”
His head drops. He’s scared. Harry, scared? I know, right? People are going to see him in that chair and pity him. I wouldn’t look forward to it either.
“Don’t fear,” I smile. “At least they don’t know about your other tits.” I expect him to laugh, but he doesn’t. He just fake smiles and frowns back at his lap. “Please Harry. If you don’t come, you’ll only be as bad as me.”
He furrows his brows, “There’s nothing wrong with that.”
I sigh, “Fine. Don’t come. Leave me alone again.” Well fuck. I sound like a whining Bitch now.
“What?” he looks worried.
“Nothing,” I mutter. “Just come on.” He finally did as he was told, rolling himself into the school. I didn’t even bother saying ‘goodbye’ or ‘later’ to him. I just walked over to my locker, grabbed my shit, and went to my first class early. I sigh and try not to cry about our fading relationship. I try so hard to keep a grasp on it, but it’s like he’s given up. Did he stop liking me? Does he not care for me anymore? I’m I alone again?
I tap my pencil hard against the desk as I tried shaking my thoughts. He still cares, he’s just going through something. Stop being so paranoid, Iris. I’ve been becoming more and more paranoid these days. I suppose I have a right to, now that my worst nightmare is coming true. Harry could possibly be done with me.
My pencil hits the desk hard and goes flying to the floor. Idiot. I reach down to grab it, my hand touching another as they grip my pencil first.
“Here,” a blonde boy with blue eyes speaks. “You dropped this.” Is that an Irish accent?
“Thanks,” I half smile and grab it from him.
He points to me, “Hey, you’re the girl from the bowling alley.” I furrow my brows in confusion. “When Harry broke up with Riley?”
“Oh,” I smile. He’s one of Harry’s friends. “Yeah, I was there.” How could I forget? I met him when I was Clarissa. He was one of the sweetest guys in the group.
“Yeah, you were pretty beaten up. What happened?” he sat backwards in the chair next to me, draping his arms over the top of it and resting his head on them.
“Just a car accident,” I lied. “It was nothing too major.”
He frowns, “Wow. Well, I’m glad you’re okay.” Does he even know who I am? Iris Mercer? Deaf Freak?
“Thanks,” I say again.
“Well I’m Niall,” he held his hand out to me. “You are?”
I nervously shake his hand. Should I tell him? How will he react? “Iris Mercer.”
“Iris, that’s a pretty name,” he grins. That brought back memories to when Harry first told me that.
I grin, “Niall is an interesting name.”
“Good interesting or bad?” he chuckles and tilts his head.
“Good,” I nod.
“Well Iris, I hope I’ll be seeing more of you,” he stands up and pushes the chair back into the desk. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Wait,” I stopped him from walking away. Step out of your box, Iris. Make friends. “Do you even know who I am?” Not exactly what I had in mind, but okay.
He squats down next to me with a grin on his face, “Iris Mercer A.K.A. Deaf Freak. The girl no one seems to give a chance.” I curl my lips and nod. “Well I’m not no one. We should hang out some time, okay?”
I smile, “I’d like that.”
“Good,” he pokes my nose. “I’m not easy to push away.” He made a clicking noise with his tongue and walked over to his seat. I didn’t even know he had this class. I didn’t even think anyone in Harry’s group would show up to class early. This day is strange.
“Hey,” I smile at Harry as he hands me a tray of food. He got Zayn to bring his tray into the room for him before Zayn went back to his friends.
He nods me hello. Okay…
I pick at my grapes, “I met Niall today.”
“Oh?” his eyebrows raise as he picks up his slice of pizza to eat.
“He’s really nice. He wants to hang out with me soon,” I add.
Harry sets his pizza down and rubs his greasy hands onto his black pants, “Really?”
“Yeah,” I nod. “I’ll have to take him up on his offer.”
He shakes his head, “Why?”
“What do you mean why?” I partly laugh.
“Why would you want to hang out with him?”
I twirl the leaves of my salad around with my plastic spork, “It’s just be nice to make a friend.”
“No, Harry shakes his head.
“I’m not asking your permission,” I shoot him a look of shock.
“Well I won’t allow you,” he shrugs.
“Excuse me?” I widen my eyes. “You honestly think you can control me?” He just stares blankly at me. “You’ve practically been ignoring me for days. We barely speak and barely touch. You’re not you and I get it. You need to be there for her. Meanwhile, I’m alone. I need a friend, so yeah, I’m hanging out with Niall.”
He sighs, “I don’t want to fight with you right now.”
“Then don’t,” I scrunch my face. “I’m doing what I want, and that’s final.”
“Okay, Mum,” he rolls his eyes.
“Holy fuck,” I mutter. “Are you being serious right now? You’re seriously gonna be this way? Be hostile Harry again? Start treating me with disrespect like everyone else?”
His face suddenly softens, “Mercy…”
“You don’t get to do that,” I shake my head. “You don’t get to push away everything I’ve been trying to hold together. I’m hanging by a thread Harry.” I notice I’m not crying. That’s new. I guess it's because I already felt like this would happen sooner or later. It seems I mentally prepared myself for this moment.
I sigh, “I’m going home.” I grab my backpack off the floor and start walking away.
“We’ll talk about this when I get there,” he says.
“Not that home Harry,” I turn to him. His face suddenly floods with hurt. “I’m going back to my house to sleep in my bed and talk to my sisters. I feel like I’m stuck in a box with you, Harry, and you’re just waiting for me to do something. I don’t know what to do. I tried everything. When are you going to try?”
I watched as his eyes frowned. He knew I was right. He knew what he was doing. Guilt is washed over his face and clearly visible. That’s what I thought.
I walked over to the boy and kissed him on the cheek, "I'll see you around, Styles."
Then I walked out, walked out of the school, and headed to Perrie's to get the rest of my things. I'm ready to go home.
I was alone in this fight and I’m honestly just so exhausted. My bed sounds really nice right now. So do those Christmas lights.
Notes
Double update today, I'm feeling nice. Or maybe it's because I'm single on this fine Valentine's day haha.
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Question Time:
Why is Harry so distant?
I love this story so much!!!
11/18/17