Mistreated
Lifeless
Sunday November 24th
Harry’s POV:
“You feel so good,” I smirk as she adjusts to my dick. I slowly start thrusting into her, sending moans from her lips. “Fuck, Mercy. You’re so good,” I began quickening my pace, thrusting harder and harder into her. She screams my name as she reaches her high. She’s seriously that easy?
“Why’d you stop?” the girl pouted. I don’t even know her name. Ashley? Lauren? Emily? I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure this is only like her second time. I pulled my dick out and removed the condom from it. “You’re not even finished. Do you want me to pleasure you?” she bit her lip. She’s not even remotely close to being seductive.
I tossed the condom in her trashcan, “No, it’s fine. I’ve got to get going.” I grabbed my clothes from her bedroom floor and began placing them on.
“You weren’t even…” she started to say as she took one last look at my dick. Gee thanks for pointing out that I can’t keep an erection.
I glared, “I was, but not anymore.”
“Harry-“
“Look, Monica-“
“Paula,” she corrected me.
I sighed, “Paula. I have shit to do, so I’m just gonna go. Okay?” She nodded. “Thanks and uh, don’t call me.” And with that, I left.
I called all the girls I’ve fucked ‘Mercy’. I got away with it because they didn’t realize I was talking about Iris; they thought I was using the word as a swear word. I haven’t had trouble staying erect until today and I was ashamed. It’s humiliating knowing I can’t perform. I usually have no problems if the girl is easy or if she’s not very seductive. I’m off my game because of what Iris said yesterday.
She’s right, I’m not me. I haven’t been myself for a long time. I find myself getting drunk in my backyard at night and getting abused by my father in the morning. I barely leave the house unless I’m with a girl or at school. I stay home because I actually want to get hurt. I just want to feel numb. The punches and kicks that are thrown at me numb me for the time being. The thing is, when my dad stops, so does the numbness. I’m just emotional Harry again.
Once I reached the tracks, memories of Iris and I played. The day I met her here, she was trying to kill herself. A few days later, we became friends. A day after that, I gave her my music and watched movies with her. Everything just replayed like a cinema in my head, landing lastly on yesterday’s memory. She told me she was falling for the guy I used to be; the guy I wish I was.
Anger boiled through my body as I began stomping on the ground, screaming curse words on the top of my lungs. If I wasn’t such an idiot, I could be with her now. I’ve been so caught up on blaming myself that I didn’t even think about what she wanted. I just didn’t want to hurt her…
I looked around to be sure no one was around. I sat on the ground with one leg propped up and I began doing something I haven’t in a while. I sang.
Hello world
Hope you're listening
Forgive me if I’m young
For speaking out of turn
There’s someone I’ve been missing
I think that they could be
The better half of me
They’re in the wrong place trying to make it right
But I’m tired of justifying
So I say to you…
Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
Right now there's a war between the vanities
But all I see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
So come home
I just want her back.
Thanksgiving: November 28th
“Hey,” Perrie opened her front door to see me.
“Hi,” I half smiled. “Can we talk?”
She brought her hand to her chest, “Are you breaking up with me?”
I chuckled, “Shut up. Can I please come in?”
“Sure,” she stepped out of the way, allowing me to enter the room.
As I walked in, I noticed Zayn was on her couch watching telly. I lightly waved to him and sat down on the cushion beside him.
“I didn’t think you’d be here,” I told him. “But I’m glad you are since I need to talk to both of you.”
Perrie joined us on the couch, sitting herself on Zayn’s lap. “Okay, go ahead,” she smiled.
I twiddled my thumbs, “I’ve been going through a lot of stuff lately, and I think it’s about time I told you what’s going on.”
“Oh, like how you’re not really getting in fights?” Perrie raised her brows. I nodded to her.
“Wait, you haven’t?” Zayn tilted his head to the side.
I shook my head, “No.”
“Then where do all those bruises come from?” Zayn pointed at my torso. He’s seen how fucked up it looks, no thanks to gym class.
I sighed, contemplating whether I should tell them or not. I came here to do that, I just need to man up and do it. I gulped, “My father.”
“I’m so sorry, Haz,” Perrie’s eyes filled with sorrow as she pat my leg.
“I’m sure you already figured,” I slightly smiled to her and she nodded, telling me I’m right.
“Why didn’t you ever tell us?” Zayn furrowed his brows.
I sighed, “I didn’t want to think about it, I just wanted to let loose and have fun. Bottling it up didn’t exactly help though, and I realized that when I met Iris. It felt good that someone finally knew. I’m sorry I never told you. I’m also sorry I’ve been avoiding you because of this and because I was trying to deal with my feelings.”
“Don’t apologize, Mate,” Zayn gripped my shoulder and lightly shook me. “To be honest, I don’t even know what to say.”
I smiled, “You don’t have to say a word. I just thought you should know.”
“Do you need us to keep quiet about this?” Perrie asked.
“Tell the group if you want, but I’d prefer it if the whole school didn’t know. And please, don’t treat me any differently. I don’t want sympathy.”
Zayn nodded, “Okay, Haz. Mum’s the word.”
“Thanks,” I grinned before standing up. “I should get going.”
“Where?” Perrie mirrored my movements.
I shrugged, “Just out.”
“But it’s Thanksgiving. You should stay and eat with us,” Perrie gripped my wrist.
“Yeah Mate, come on,” Zayn agreed.
I shook my head, “Maybe I’ll come back later. I’ll think about it.”
“Okay,” Perrie pouted. I laughed and kissed her head. Yeah I kissed her head, so what? She’s like a sister, nothing more. Zayn even knows I wouldn’t dare have feelings for her. Not only would that be nasty, but Zayn would also kill me.
I walked over to the front door and turned to face them one last time, “I love you guys.” Shock was written all over their faces. I don’t usually say shit like that, but I do. I love them. I always said it wouldn’t matter if I died, but that’s not true. I know it’d kill them to know I’m gone. I’m not saying I’m that great of a friend and all that shit. I just mean, they care, more than I ever thought. They worry about me, and they have every right to.
I smiled at their reactions and walked out of the house. I’m proud of myself, I actually told someone. Two people, in fact. I’m glad I don’t have to lie to them anymore and it’s great to know they’re there for me. I’ve never been alone, and I finally get that. This was just the first step to being me again. I'm going to win Iris back.
I’ve been sitting in my room for hours, playing my guitar. I haven’t played it or even sung since Gemma left. I forgot how much I loved music. How did I forget such a powerful thing? Music is my passion and my sanity. I crave it almost as much as I crave Iris. Iris…she’ll be back on Saturday. I can’t wait to show her the real meaning of that necklace. I know she thinks it was a dumb gift, I could see it in her face, but just wait.
“Sounds good, Baby Bro,” a female voice filled my room.
I shot up out of my bed, “Gemma?” She grinned and squealed, running over to hug me. I stayed limp as she hugged me; confusion was overriding my brain.
“Aren’t you glad to see me?” she teased and pat my chest.
“Yeah, I am…” I stared her down. Is it really her?
“You don’t look happy,” she laughed. “What’s wrong?”
I shook my head, “You really don’t know?” She just tilted her head to the side and furrowed her brows. I put my guitar back on it's stand and lifted my shirt to show her my bruises. “You left me with that thing.”
“Harry,” her eyes widened. She stepped closer to examine my wounds. “I’m sorry Dad did that.”
“How do you know it’s Dad?” She sighed and sat on my bed, patting the space next to her for me to sit on. “Why did you leave?”
“I didn’t want to, I was just scared,” she softly stared at her lap.
“He went crazy after you left,” I whispered. “Mum and I are nothing but punching bags to him.”
She grabbed my hands and rubbed them, “I’m so sorry, Harry.” Her eyes began flooding with tears.
“What are you not telling me, Gem?”
She looked into my eyes and sniffled, “Dad molested me.”
I squeezed her hands, “What?”
“He started touching me in places…” she paused to swallow. “I was scared. I didn’t know what to do.”
“Why didn't you tell me?"
She shook her head, “I didn't even tell mum. I wasn't sure you guys would believe me.”
“That fucking areshole is going to pay!” I stood up and stormed to the door.
“No, Harry!” Gemma yelled over to me. I ignored her and ran down the stairs to find my father sitting on the couch with a shot of whiskey.
“What’s wrong with you?!” my father growled after I slapped the shot out of his hand.
“You fucking touched her!?” I pointed to Gemma who was now worriedly standing in the room.
“What?” My mum was sat on the other couch in denial.
Gemma’s voice quivered, “Harry, please don’t.” That’s when my father pushed me to the edge by shooting me a smug look. The Bastard actually did it. I had enough of him.
My foot plowed into his dick. Before he could even groan in pain, he gripped my ankle and twisted my leg around. I could hear the crack of my bones and feel the fierce pain run throughout my whole body. I screamed in agony before gaining enough composure to punch him in the jaw. He released my leg and allowed it drop to the floor, causing me to lose my balance and fall. He stood up and towered over me with a grin on his face. Then, he kicked me and punched me harder than he ever had before. I’ve never experienced so much pain in my life. I couldn't stop him, he was too strong.
“Stop!” my mum cried.
“You Bastard! Leave him alone!” Gemma joined my mum’s screams.
I noticed my dad’s face turn to shock. He turned to charge after my sister, but I raised my unwounded leg up and tripped him, causing him to fall face first onto the coffee table. I could hear the coffee table collapse under his weight. Gemma and my mum stood in shock. I felt lifeless, lying there covered in blood and unable to move. My leg was searing with pain and my head hurt from the fall. The last thing I saw was Gemma running to my side before I knocked out.
“Is he waking up?” I heard a voice ask as my eyelids fluttered open.
“Hello Mr. Styles. My name is Dr. Barnett. Can you see okay?” he asked as he shined a light in my eyes.
“Not with that light in my eyes,” I joked.
He chuckled, “Well, you’re jokes are a good sign.”
I scanned the room. It doesn’t look familiar. “Where am I?”
I felt a hand grip mine and I turned to see my mum holding my hand, “You’re in the hospital.”
“Where’s Gem?”
“She’s talking to the police,” she curled her lips. “I’m so sorry, Harry.”
“Do you feel any pain?” the doctor asked.
I shook my head, “No.”
“So the drugs appear to be working. If you need any more, let us know.” I nodded. “So Harry, it appears your leg is broken in two places. I would give you the option to use crutches, but the cast is going to be from your foot to your groin, so it may be too heavy for you.”
I sighed, “It won’t be heavy, I can handle it.”
“Harry…” my mum warned.
“So we’re planning to put the cast on in about an hour. We just needed you to wake up first,” he smiled. “Everything else is just bruised up. You’re going to need lots of rest."
“How long do I have to be here for?”
“Three days at the latest. I’d recommend you stay all three days.”
Iris comes back in two days though. “We’ll see,” I smirked.
“Harry…” my mum glared again.
“I’ll be back in an hour to get you in that cast,” the doctor smiled and walked out of the room.
“How’s Dad?” I asked my mum. I didn’t want to know, really, but I was hoping he isn’t able to walk or anything.
She sighed and stood to her feet, “I’m going to go get a coffee. Do you want anything?”
So she doesn’t want to talk about him. Good. I’m definitely not going to push her on the subject anyways. “No, I'm good."
“Okay,” she nodded and then she walked out, leaving me alone in the room.
And then I was alone again. I would've had her call Zayn and Perrie, but it's Thanksgiving and I don't want to ruin it for them. I'll call them tomorrow.
Tears filled my eyes. I just want Iris. I need her here. She knows how to make everything better. I miss her so damn much. Happy fucking Thanksgiving.
Harry’s POV:
“You feel so good,” I smirk as she adjusts to my dick. I slowly start thrusting into her, sending moans from her lips. “Fuck, Mercy. You’re so good,” I began quickening my pace, thrusting harder and harder into her. She screams my name as she reaches her high. She’s seriously that easy?
“Why’d you stop?” the girl pouted. I don’t even know her name. Ashley? Lauren? Emily? I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure this is only like her second time. I pulled my dick out and removed the condom from it. “You’re not even finished. Do you want me to pleasure you?” she bit her lip. She’s not even remotely close to being seductive.
I tossed the condom in her trashcan, “No, it’s fine. I’ve got to get going.” I grabbed my clothes from her bedroom floor and began placing them on.
“You weren’t even…” she started to say as she took one last look at my dick. Gee thanks for pointing out that I can’t keep an erection.
I glared, “I was, but not anymore.”
“Harry-“
“Look, Monica-“
“Paula,” she corrected me.
I sighed, “Paula. I have shit to do, so I’m just gonna go. Okay?” She nodded. “Thanks and uh, don’t call me.” And with that, I left.
I called all the girls I’ve fucked ‘Mercy’. I got away with it because they didn’t realize I was talking about Iris; they thought I was using the word as a swear word. I haven’t had trouble staying erect until today and I was ashamed. It’s humiliating knowing I can’t perform. I usually have no problems if the girl is easy or if she’s not very seductive. I’m off my game because of what Iris said yesterday.
She’s right, I’m not me. I haven’t been myself for a long time. I find myself getting drunk in my backyard at night and getting abused by my father in the morning. I barely leave the house unless I’m with a girl or at school. I stay home because I actually want to get hurt. I just want to feel numb. The punches and kicks that are thrown at me numb me for the time being. The thing is, when my dad stops, so does the numbness. I’m just emotional Harry again.
Once I reached the tracks, memories of Iris and I played. The day I met her here, she was trying to kill herself. A few days later, we became friends. A day after that, I gave her my music and watched movies with her. Everything just replayed like a cinema in my head, landing lastly on yesterday’s memory. She told me she was falling for the guy I used to be; the guy I wish I was.
Anger boiled through my body as I began stomping on the ground, screaming curse words on the top of my lungs. If I wasn’t such an idiot, I could be with her now. I’ve been so caught up on blaming myself that I didn’t even think about what she wanted. I just didn’t want to hurt her…
I looked around to be sure no one was around. I sat on the ground with one leg propped up and I began doing something I haven’t in a while. I sang.
Hello world
Hope you're listening
Forgive me if I’m young
For speaking out of turn
There’s someone I’ve been missing
I think that they could be
The better half of me
They’re in the wrong place trying to make it right
But I’m tired of justifying
So I say to you…
Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
Right now there's a war between the vanities
But all I see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
So come home
I just want her back.
Thanksgiving: November 28th
“Hey,” Perrie opened her front door to see me.
“Hi,” I half smiled. “Can we talk?”
She brought her hand to her chest, “Are you breaking up with me?”
I chuckled, “Shut up. Can I please come in?”
“Sure,” she stepped out of the way, allowing me to enter the room.
As I walked in, I noticed Zayn was on her couch watching telly. I lightly waved to him and sat down on the cushion beside him.
“I didn’t think you’d be here,” I told him. “But I’m glad you are since I need to talk to both of you.”
Perrie joined us on the couch, sitting herself on Zayn’s lap. “Okay, go ahead,” she smiled.
I twiddled my thumbs, “I’ve been going through a lot of stuff lately, and I think it’s about time I told you what’s going on.”
“Oh, like how you’re not really getting in fights?” Perrie raised her brows. I nodded to her.
“Wait, you haven’t?” Zayn tilted his head to the side.
I shook my head, “No.”
“Then where do all those bruises come from?” Zayn pointed at my torso. He’s seen how fucked up it looks, no thanks to gym class.
I sighed, contemplating whether I should tell them or not. I came here to do that, I just need to man up and do it. I gulped, “My father.”
“I’m so sorry, Haz,” Perrie’s eyes filled with sorrow as she pat my leg.
“I’m sure you already figured,” I slightly smiled to her and she nodded, telling me I’m right.
“Why didn’t you ever tell us?” Zayn furrowed his brows.
I sighed, “I didn’t want to think about it, I just wanted to let loose and have fun. Bottling it up didn’t exactly help though, and I realized that when I met Iris. It felt good that someone finally knew. I’m sorry I never told you. I’m also sorry I’ve been avoiding you because of this and because I was trying to deal with my feelings.”
“Don’t apologize, Mate,” Zayn gripped my shoulder and lightly shook me. “To be honest, I don’t even know what to say.”
I smiled, “You don’t have to say a word. I just thought you should know.”
“Do you need us to keep quiet about this?” Perrie asked.
“Tell the group if you want, but I’d prefer it if the whole school didn’t know. And please, don’t treat me any differently. I don’t want sympathy.”
Zayn nodded, “Okay, Haz. Mum’s the word.”
“Thanks,” I grinned before standing up. “I should get going.”
“Where?” Perrie mirrored my movements.
I shrugged, “Just out.”
“But it’s Thanksgiving. You should stay and eat with us,” Perrie gripped my wrist.
“Yeah Mate, come on,” Zayn agreed.
I shook my head, “Maybe I’ll come back later. I’ll think about it.”
“Okay,” Perrie pouted. I laughed and kissed her head. Yeah I kissed her head, so what? She’s like a sister, nothing more. Zayn even knows I wouldn’t dare have feelings for her. Not only would that be nasty, but Zayn would also kill me.
I walked over to the front door and turned to face them one last time, “I love you guys.” Shock was written all over their faces. I don’t usually say shit like that, but I do. I love them. I always said it wouldn’t matter if I died, but that’s not true. I know it’d kill them to know I’m gone. I’m not saying I’m that great of a friend and all that shit. I just mean, they care, more than I ever thought. They worry about me, and they have every right to.
I smiled at their reactions and walked out of the house. I’m proud of myself, I actually told someone. Two people, in fact. I’m glad I don’t have to lie to them anymore and it’s great to know they’re there for me. I’ve never been alone, and I finally get that. This was just the first step to being me again. I'm going to win Iris back.
I’ve been sitting in my room for hours, playing my guitar. I haven’t played it or even sung since Gemma left. I forgot how much I loved music. How did I forget such a powerful thing? Music is my passion and my sanity. I crave it almost as much as I crave Iris. Iris…she’ll be back on Saturday. I can’t wait to show her the real meaning of that necklace. I know she thinks it was a dumb gift, I could see it in her face, but just wait.
“Sounds good, Baby Bro,” a female voice filled my room.
I shot up out of my bed, “Gemma?” She grinned and squealed, running over to hug me. I stayed limp as she hugged me; confusion was overriding my brain.
“Aren’t you glad to see me?” she teased and pat my chest.
“Yeah, I am…” I stared her down. Is it really her?
“You don’t look happy,” she laughed. “What’s wrong?”
I shook my head, “You really don’t know?” She just tilted her head to the side and furrowed her brows. I put my guitar back on it's stand and lifted my shirt to show her my bruises. “You left me with that thing.”
“Harry,” her eyes widened. She stepped closer to examine my wounds. “I’m sorry Dad did that.”
“How do you know it’s Dad?” She sighed and sat on my bed, patting the space next to her for me to sit on. “Why did you leave?”
“I didn’t want to, I was just scared,” she softly stared at her lap.
“He went crazy after you left,” I whispered. “Mum and I are nothing but punching bags to him.”
She grabbed my hands and rubbed them, “I’m so sorry, Harry.” Her eyes began flooding with tears.
“What are you not telling me, Gem?”
She looked into my eyes and sniffled, “Dad molested me.”
I squeezed her hands, “What?”
“He started touching me in places…” she paused to swallow. “I was scared. I didn’t know what to do.”
“Why didn't you tell me?"
She shook her head, “I didn't even tell mum. I wasn't sure you guys would believe me.”
“That fucking areshole is going to pay!” I stood up and stormed to the door.
“No, Harry!” Gemma yelled over to me. I ignored her and ran down the stairs to find my father sitting on the couch with a shot of whiskey.
“What’s wrong with you?!” my father growled after I slapped the shot out of his hand.
“You fucking touched her!?” I pointed to Gemma who was now worriedly standing in the room.
“What?” My mum was sat on the other couch in denial.
Gemma’s voice quivered, “Harry, please don’t.” That’s when my father pushed me to the edge by shooting me a smug look. The Bastard actually did it. I had enough of him.
My foot plowed into his dick. Before he could even groan in pain, he gripped my ankle and twisted my leg around. I could hear the crack of my bones and feel the fierce pain run throughout my whole body. I screamed in agony before gaining enough composure to punch him in the jaw. He released my leg and allowed it drop to the floor, causing me to lose my balance and fall. He stood up and towered over me with a grin on his face. Then, he kicked me and punched me harder than he ever had before. I’ve never experienced so much pain in my life. I couldn't stop him, he was too strong.
“Stop!” my mum cried.
“You Bastard! Leave him alone!” Gemma joined my mum’s screams.
I noticed my dad’s face turn to shock. He turned to charge after my sister, but I raised my unwounded leg up and tripped him, causing him to fall face first onto the coffee table. I could hear the coffee table collapse under his weight. Gemma and my mum stood in shock. I felt lifeless, lying there covered in blood and unable to move. My leg was searing with pain and my head hurt from the fall. The last thing I saw was Gemma running to my side before I knocked out.
“Is he waking up?” I heard a voice ask as my eyelids fluttered open.
“Hello Mr. Styles. My name is Dr. Barnett. Can you see okay?” he asked as he shined a light in my eyes.
“Not with that light in my eyes,” I joked.
He chuckled, “Well, you’re jokes are a good sign.”
I scanned the room. It doesn’t look familiar. “Where am I?”
I felt a hand grip mine and I turned to see my mum holding my hand, “You’re in the hospital.”
“Where’s Gem?”
“She’s talking to the police,” she curled her lips. “I’m so sorry, Harry.”
“Do you feel any pain?” the doctor asked.
I shook my head, “No.”
“So the drugs appear to be working. If you need any more, let us know.” I nodded. “So Harry, it appears your leg is broken in two places. I would give you the option to use crutches, but the cast is going to be from your foot to your groin, so it may be too heavy for you.”
I sighed, “It won’t be heavy, I can handle it.”
“Harry…” my mum warned.
“So we’re planning to put the cast on in about an hour. We just needed you to wake up first,” he smiled. “Everything else is just bruised up. You’re going to need lots of rest."
“How long do I have to be here for?”
“Three days at the latest. I’d recommend you stay all three days.”
Iris comes back in two days though. “We’ll see,” I smirked.
“Harry…” my mum glared again.
“I’ll be back in an hour to get you in that cast,” the doctor smiled and walked out of the room.
“How’s Dad?” I asked my mum. I didn’t want to know, really, but I was hoping he isn’t able to walk or anything.
She sighed and stood to her feet, “I’m going to go get a coffee. Do you want anything?”
So she doesn’t want to talk about him. Good. I’m definitely not going to push her on the subject anyways. “No, I'm good."
“Okay,” she nodded and then she walked out, leaving me alone in the room.
And then I was alone again. I would've had her call Zayn and Perrie, but it's Thanksgiving and I don't want to ruin it for them. I'll call them tomorrow.
Tears filled my eyes. I just want Iris. I need her here. She knows how to make everything better. I miss her so damn much. Happy fucking Thanksgiving.
Notes
Forgive me if the sex scene was off or anything. I'm not good at that type of stuff so give me a break haha.
The song Harry sung was "Come Home" by OneRepublic (just in case you were curious).
Sad chapter. I teared up writing the Gemma and fighting scene. Gah, poor Harry.
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Question Time:
What's the secret with the necklace? (I see someone already has a comment on that haha)
I love this story so much!!!
11/18/17