Mistreated
Battle - Part 2
[These are all flashbacks until it says, 'Present Time'.]
Friday October 18th
Harry’s POV:
“Took you long enough,” I rolled my eyes as Riley walked out of the loo. I just wanted to get this over with and she was taking her sweet time.
She glared and gestured for us to sit on the floor, “So what’s this about?”
“Us,” I sighed. “Look, I know we had a falling out.”
“A falling out?” she raised her brows. “You’re joking right?”
I shushed her, “You deserve to know why exactly I broke up with you.”
“I think I deserve to know why you were avoiding me so much!”
I played with my fingers, “I wasn’t avoiding you. I wanted to be with you every day, trust me. I just have a lot on my plate.” She started laughing. “What’s so funny?”
She continued chuckling, “The fact that you just lied to my face.”
“I’m not lying.”
“But you are!” she looked at me in disbelief. “You’ve been with that freak every day after school!”
“I’d watch what you say about her!” I snapped.
She looked a little taken back, chuckling again, “Oh. You have feelings for her.”
“I’m here to talk about you, not her.”
“Well talk Harry!”
“I’ve been trying to!” I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to keep myself calm.
I opened my eyes to find her staring sadly at the floor, “You’re right, I’m sorry.”
I shook my head, “Its fine.”
“No it’s not, I’ve been such a selfish jerk lately.” That’s an understatement. “I’m really sorry.”
I sighed, “You don’t know the whole story, Ry.”
She nodded, “I know. I’m all ears this time, I promise.”
“I was missing school even before I met her. It’s because-“ I was interrupted by my vibrating phone.
“Hello?” I answered it, watching Riley shake her head in frustration.
“Haz! You need to get over here!” Perrie’s voice filled my ear.
I tilted my head in confusion, “Well, now’s not a good time.”
“It’s Iris!”
I stood up, “What? What happened?” Riley followed my movements, shooting me a worried expression.
“She cut herself really badly. My mum’s working on her wrist right now,” she said really fast.
“Okay, just relax, I’ll be there in a few minutes,” I said before hanging up the phone.
“What’s going on?” Riley rubbed my arm.
I began running to my car, “I’ll tell you tomorrow.”
“No, I’m coming with you,” she matched my pace. I didn’t even want to argue with her, I needed to get to Iris fast.
“Why didn’t you take her to the hospital?” I asked Perrie as I walked into her house. I pulled my hand away from Riley’s since she was holding it for some reason.
“I didn’t take her to the hospital because they’d put her in a mental institute!” Perrie yelled to me as I ran up the stairs towards the guest room.
Riley managed to catch up to me before I got to the door, lacing our fingers together. Why does she keep doing that? I let the fingers she was holding go limp and I pushed the bedroom door open. “Mercy!” Riley started rubbing my arm and acting all sympathetic. What kind of show is she putting on?
“Get out,” Iris whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek.
“Mercy, what happened?” I yanked my hand away from Riley’s and inched closer to Iris.
“Please go away,” she cried.
I reached out my hand to wipe her tears away, “Angel…”
“Get away from me,” her lip quivered. Is she scared of me?
“Haz,” Perrie put her hand on my shoulder. “I think you should leave.”
Is she joking? I just got here! I’m not leaving her like this. “You’re the one who called me here!” I yelled at the blonde. I immediately felt bad for being so rude.
She frowned, “That was before I realized why she cut herself.”
“You’re blaming me!?” I can’t believe what I’m hearing.
Riley tugged my jacket, “Harry, we should go.”
“No!” What I really should’ve said was, ‘Why would I go anywhere with you?’ I turned to Iris and mellowed down my anger, “Did I do something?” If I did, I have to hear it from her myself.
“You broke me,” she started sobbing. “Leave me alone!” She’s never spoken to me like that before. I was shocked at her words. I don’t understand what I did. Why’s she suddenly shutting me out? What did I do?
Riley wrapped her arms around one of mine, “Let’s go,” and began dragging me out of the room. The whole way out, I stared at Iris. She was so scared and this time, I couldn’t help her. I didn’t want to leave her, I just wanted to talk it out.
As soon as her face disappeared behind the doorframe, I could hear her sobbing harder than before. What if she didn’t want me to leave? Still, I couldn’t find it in myself to run back up there. I don’t need to make matters worse when I don’t even know what’s going on. I need to get to the bottom of this.
Once Riley and I were in Perrie’s driveway, I pulled out of her embrace and snapped, “Spit it out!”
“What do you mean?” she acted all innocent.
I threw my arms in the air, “Fuck, Ry. You think I’m not on to you? The hand holding shit.”
She tapped her leg with her fingers, “So I wanted to hold your hand. Is that a crime?”
“Oh please,” I scoffed. “You were trying to make her jealous. What the fuck is wrong with you? She just hurt herself!”
“It’s not my fault! I didn’t know she’d do that!” her eyes suddenly widened as she covered her mouth. I knew it. I knew she had something to do with this
I clenched my fists, “What did you do?” I already know she was spying on us since she said earlier that she knows Iris and I have been hanging out everyday. I'm curious as to what else she's been up to.
“Nothing,” she curled her lips and shook her head.
“I shouldn’t have ever left her,” I ran my fingers through my curls. “I’ve tried talking to you for so long! I should’ve known you were up to something when you finally agreed!” I slammed my hands on Perrie’s garage door.
“Harry I-“
I whipped my head towards her, “What?! You didn’t do shit? You were with me? Well fuck you Riley! I shouldn’t have ever tried to tell you what’s been going on with me! You don’t deserve to know!” I stomped over to my car and climbed in, slamming the door shut behind me.
“Harry!” she yelled out to me as I backed out of the driveway. There’s no way I’m talking to her or letting her near me anymore. I’m done with her bullshit. She doesn’t know what’s going on and that’s the way it’s going to stay. She brought it all on herself.
Saturday October 19th
“You alright, Mate?” Niall asked me as we walked up to Louis’s house where a party was being thrown. I went to Perrie’s earlier this morning, but Iris was already gone. Perrie didn’t even know where she went since Iris left before she woke up, but then again Perrie could've been lying to me. She still thinks I have something to do with Iris's suicide attempt.
I ran to the train track afterwards and Iris wasn’t there either. I was really worried about her since I didn’t even know where she lived and if she was even there. What if she hurts herself again? The only thing that could help me with my nerves was alcohol, so I’ve been drinking all day.
“Fuck yeah!” I cheered and took another sip of the vodka I stole from my father.
Niall chuckled, “You can barely stand up straight.”
“Being straight is for pussies!"
He scrunched his nose, "You don't make any sense. I'm pretty sure you just said you're gay."
I shrugged, “Does anything ever make sense?”
“I guess not,” he laughed.
Just then, I noticed a familiar asshole standing in Lou’s lawn: Scott. I noticed him talking to some dude I recognized, but I couldn’t quite figure out who he was. I laid myself on the ground so I could eavesdrop. Something told me I should, or maybe it’s just because I’m drunk as a skunk.
“What are you doing, Haz?” Niall giggled and squatted next to me.
“Shh,” I placed my index finger on his knee. I thought that was his lips until I looked up at his face, then I corrected my gesture. “I’m spying on the rapist.”
“So you really think he did it?”
I nodded aggressively, “I know he did it. Now shush.” Niall pretended to zip his mouth, lock it, and throw away the key. Thank God.
“I don’t know Man, I still feel kind of bad,” the guy said to Scott.
Scott lightly shoved the guy’s shoulder, “Are you seriously getting cold feet now?”
The guy shook his head, “Too late for that. I just feel guilty because no one likes her.”
“Look Andrew, you’re gonna keep your mouth shut, or I’ll shut it for you,” Scott threatened. Andrew…I knew I recognized that kid. He doesn’t hang out with us at school but I always caught him and Riley talking to each other. Wait, that’s also Iris’s ex.
“It’s not like Riley is gonna do anything for us!” Andrew barked. “She’s just using us to get revenge.” And that’s all I needed to hear. I stood to my feet and brushed my pants off.
Niall stood to his feet as well, “Uh Haz, what are you doing?”
“Just go get Perrie,” I smiled. I need her to know it’s not my fault Iris hurt herself. Niall did as I told him to and ran off to find her.
“Hey!” I yelled at Andrew as I walked over to the Knobs.
“Shit,” I heard him mutter and Scott only smirked.
I could tell Andrew was the weakest one. I walked closer to him, drinking sips of vodka along the way. Andrew began backing up, frightened at the thought of what I could do. He backed himself into the wall of the house.
“What did you say to her?!” I screamed in his face, but it sounded more like an angry slur.
He held his hands up as if he were surrendering, “Look Man, I don’t want any trouble.”
I gripped his shirt and repeateded myself, “What did you say to her?!”
“Ask Riley.”
“Harry!” I heard Perrie scream from behind me. I just ignored her, but I was glad she was there.
“No, you’re gonna tell me right now,” I grinded my teeth and held my bottle up.
He flinched, “Okay, okay, okay.” Fucking Wuss. “I told her you were faking, that everything you ever told and did with her was what Riley made you do. It wasn’t my idea though, it was their’s.” He pointed to Scott, “It was his and Riley’s idea.”
“Okay,” I nodded and released the guy. I turned to walk away, but wound up spinning back around to collide my fist into his face. The thing is, I’m really drunk, so I missed and punched the bricks on Lou’s house. I groaned in agony and held my bloody fist.
“Fucking Christ, Harry!” Perrie growled as she ran towards me.
I heard Scott laughing, “Funniest shit I’ve ever seen. Fucking Moron.” I wanted to run over and punch him, but Zayn helped Perrie pull me to their car.
“Thanks Nialler,” Zayn nodded to Niall. “We’ll take it from here. You have fun.” Niall nodded and waved as Perrie and Zayn joined me in the car and drove me to Zayn’s place.
“I can’t believe you did that Haz,” Perrie grumbled as she cleaned up my hand. I was sat on Zayn’s couch in his living room. Luckily, his parents were working late. They won't care if I crash here, but they'd be pissed if they saw me like this right now.
“I’m sorry,” I pouted before wincing in pain.
She sighed, “I’m the one who should be sorry. I didn’t believe you.”
“It’s okay, I get why you wouldn’t.”
Zayn furrowed his brows and sat next to me, “Am I missing something here?”
“No it’s just-“ Perrie started to say.
“You should meet Iris,” I grinned at him.
“Harry…” Perrie warned, but I was drunk, and she wasn’t gonna stop my rambling.
“Iris Mercer?” Zayn’s eyes widened.
I nodded, “She’s so pretty.”
“I guess, but Haz, she’s social suicide.”
“She’s not,” Perrie frowned. “She’s nothing like everyone says she is. It’s just that no one gave her a chance.”
Zayn ran his hand down his face, “You’ve been talking to her?”
I nodded and grinned a stupid grin, “We’ve been bringing her lunch.”
“Harry,” Perrie pressed her fingers into my wounds.
I winced, “Just me…Perrie isn’t nice like me.” I glared at her hoping she’d stop, and she finally did.
“You’ve been bringing her lunch?” Zayn’s eyebrows raised. “How did I not notice this?”
She curled her lips, “Harry would get the tray and I’d ‘go to the bathroom’.”
“I-I-I’m speechless,” Zayn stuttered.
“You know Clarissa?” I poked his cheek.
He swatted my hand away, “Yeah? She’s cool.”
“That’s Iris,” I laid my head onto the back of the couch. “She’s so pretty.”
Zayn smiled, “You already said she’s pretty.”
“Well, I’m a smart drunk,” my eyes started drifting closed.
“Yeah, smart. Cause smart drunks punch walls,” I heard Perrie say sarcastically and Zayn followed her words with a chuckle. I love my friends.
Sunday October 20th
I woke up with a massive headache. I was sprawled across Zayn’s couch with a blanket laying on my cold body.
“Morning Mate,” Zayn walked in and handed me a glass of water and aspirin. “You’re gonna need this.”
“Thanks,” I half smiled and took the pill before chugging the water down.
He sat down next to me, “So I’ve been thinking about what you said last night.”
I groaned, “Oh shit, that’s right. I shouldn’t have told you.”
He smiled, “No it’s fine. I won’t tell anyone. Perrie and I talked about it after you drifted off. Clarissa is really cool, and it’s interesting to know that she was Iris all along. I feel bad for all the girl is going through.”
“You don’t even know the half of it,” I rubbed my temples.
“Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that what you’re doing is cool and that if you really like this girl, I’m not judging.”
I patted his shoulder, “Thanks.”
He gripped my neck and shook me slightly, “Well, what are you waiting for? Go get her.”
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
He laughed, “With that attitude, you’re never going to win her over.”
“Oh, I meant I should take a shower first,” I smirked.
“That’d be a good idea,” he sniffed the air around me and pretended to be disgusted by my scent.
“Areshole,” I laughed while punching his shoulder.
Truth is, I wasn’t planning to see her today. I just wanted time to think about what I’m going to say to her. How do I tell her that my lunatic ex-girlfriend got her ex to lie to her? God, it sounds crazy just thinking about it. I can’t believe this is all because of me…
Monday October 21st
I decided to get up early today and head to the florist shop. I need to tell Iris everything, but first I want to show her how much I don’t care about what other people say. I’m giving her flowers in front of people at school whether they approve or not. I don’t need their permission on who I can and cannot date. Iris is mine. I decided to pick irises, as cheesy as that sounds. Who knows? Maybe she’ll appreciate it.
Judging by people’s uplifting moods, I figure Iris isn’t here yet. I noticed I was receiving weird looks and that’s all probably from my drunken performance the other night. God, I’m such an embarrassment. At least Iris won’t know about it. I stood by her locker and awaited her arrival. Of course, I got more dirty looks since everyone knows whose locker this is. They can all go fuck themselves though, I don’t give a shit.
Then I saw her. She looked so beautiful with her hair up in a bun and her light makeup. She looks beautiful no matter what. I watched as her blue-green eyes widened when she realized I was waiting for her.
“Hey,” I smiled to her. She continued staring, not saying one word. Who can blame her? She thinks I don’t like her at all, but that’s going to change. “These are for you,” I held out the flowers to her. “They’re irises.” She probably already knows that, Harry.
It’s when she pushed the flowers away from me and ignored me that I was taken by surprise. I could tell she didn’t even want to look at me. This is killing her. I’m not sure it’s a good idea to talk to her about it here though. Especially since she doesn’t like the attention she already gets.
I reached over her and placed the flowers in her locker “Have a good day,” I whispered. Have a good day? You’re a fucking wally, Styles. I noticed Louis and Liam were on the other end of the hall so I walked over to chill with them until class started. I kept wondering if Iris looked back at me. It took every ounce of me not to look over at her, but I knew she’d be more comfortable if I didn’t.
“You’re taking her lunch?” Zayn asked as I put together a tray in the cafeteria. I nodded. “I take it things went well yesterday then?”
“I didn’t go yesterday.”
He looked shocked, “Why not?”
“Can we just talk about this later?” I raised a brow at him.
He sighed, “Fine, but you better not screw this up.”
I glared, “Gee thanks.” I got Iris some salad, some grapes, and a water because I know she loves eating healthy food; well for lunch anyways. Then I made my way over to Mrs. Clark’s room because I knew she’d be in there.
“Hey Mrs. Clark,” I greeted her as I walked into the room.
Her face lit up and she walked over to give me a hug, “Hey Harry, what are you up to?”
“Just bringing Iris some food.”
“That’s sweet of you,” she rubbed my arm and walked back to her desk.
I took a deep breath before making my way towards Iris. I know this is going to be difficult. I placed the tray onto her desk, “Here.”
She set her book into her lap and pushed the tray away, “I don’t want this, Harry.”
“Well I paid for it, so eat up.” She just stared down at the book in her lap. Once again, she was ignoring my eyes. “Iris, please eat it.”
“I’m not hungry,” she looked at me with teary eyes. I can tell it’s hard for her to even speak to me.
I pushed the tray closer to her, “I’m not leaving until you start eating.” All I can do is pray she’s not starving herself as well.
She looked at the ground, “Please go.”
“Is taking a bite out of something too much to ask?” I sighed.
“Fine,” she mumbled and began nibbling at her salad.
I nodded in appreciation, “Thank you.” Then, I left. I knew I was bothering her, and I felt bad for doing it. I just wanted to know she’s okay. I just wanted to help her and let her know I still care. It’s just that she’s so upset and it’s all my fault. This sucks.
After school I slowly walked to the train track. I knew she wouldn’t be there, so why rush? Yet again, I was shocked. Iris was laying on the track staring up at the sky. Why is she here? She knew I’d come. She doesn’t want to see me, does she?
“I didn’t think I’d ever see you here again,” I sat down next to her. “You look nice today.”
She sat up with anger burning in her eyes, “Look, I know you found this place before I did so I’m not going to ask you to leave. After all, it is your hideout. But do me a favor and don’t talk.”
“Okay,” I shrugged. I have to say, I felt very offended. Part of me thinks I deserved that, but she doesn’t even realize that I never lied to her. I’ve never lied to her since the day we met. She’s the first person I’ve ever been completely honest with.
I sat there quietly for the longest time. Then, she broke the silence, “What happened to your hand?”
I shook my head, “I’m not allowed to speak.” Okay, so I’m still offended by what she said.
“Harry...”
“Don’t worry about me,” I sort of snapped but I managed to sound disappointed as well. I don’t want to tell her why my hand looks so fucked up; I'm humiliated. I also realized I can’t tell her what happened. She’s confused, I can tell. She wants to be mad at me, but she can’t help but worry. I don’t need her sympathy, not after what she’s going through. “I don’t deserve your pity.”
A tear rolled down her cheek that she quickly swatted away, “You’re right, I don’t.”
“I’m so sorry. I know that won’t change anything, but I am.” I buried my face in my hands, “I don’t deserve you.”
“What?” I knew she didn’t hear me and in a way, I was glad she didn’t.
I lifted my head and signed, ‘smile’ to her. “Don’t lose your smile Mercy.” Then, I stood up and walked away. I couldn’t sit there and look at the mess I’ve made. If there is such thing as fate, she’ll find out the truth on her own.
Tuesday October 29th
“Get back here, Asshole! I’m not done with you!” Riley shouted as she chased me out of the cafeteria. I had just fought Scott and my fist was ruined, yet again. I really need to stop this.
I whipped my body towards her, “You are the worst bloody spy!”
“Really?! And why’s that?!”
“You failed to find out that my father beats the shit out of me!" I yelled in her face. Her anger suddenly changed to horror. “You hurt her! You did to her what my dad does to me! That’s why I don’t want to be with you! Because to me, you’re just another fucking monster! So leave her alone!”
I walked away from her and headed to the nurse’s office. I was done. I’ve been stealing alcohol out of my father’s medicine cabinet every day and getting drunk every night. I couldn’t live with what I’ve done to Iris. I just wanted to numb the pain and forget about it all, even if it was only for a couple of hours. I’ve been distancing myself from everyone, including my mum and my friends. What if I hurt them too? People have been talking about me around the school and how I’ve become so anti-social. I didn’t care at first, but now I just wish they knew what I was going through. Now, I know exactly how Iris felt and it pains me. I get why she never wanted me to feel this way, but I’m glad I know exactly what she went through. Now, I understand the depth of her situation even more.
Present Time
“Harry I-I don’t know what to say,” Iris stuttered.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” I sighed. “Maybe you would’ve believed me. I was just worried I’d be making you more miserable.”
She began twisting her hair, “No, don’t be sorry. I understand now. I’m sorry I considered what Andrew said truthful.”
I traced the wrap on my hand, “It’s okay.” Nothing was okay. This whole situation was just messed up.
“I um…” she paused and stood up. “I need some time to think.” Then, she ran away.
Why didn’t I yell after her or chase her? Because I don’t deserve her. It’s true, I don’t. Look what being with me did to her. She wanted to kill herself. What if I hurt her again? What if she’s successful next time? I believe God brought us together to help each other, not break each other more. If that means I can’t be with her, then so be it. It’s not what I want, but maybe it’s for the best.
Iris’s POV:
It’s just so much to take in. He didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve been snapping at him and thinking so many horrible things about him and it’s all been wrong. Andrew, Riley, and Scott were the ones who were deceiving me this whole time. Why did I allow myself to trust that asshole? Why did I do that to Harry? He’s becoming me because of me. I don’t deserve him.
Friday October 18th
Harry’s POV:
“Took you long enough,” I rolled my eyes as Riley walked out of the loo. I just wanted to get this over with and she was taking her sweet time.
She glared and gestured for us to sit on the floor, “So what’s this about?”
“Us,” I sighed. “Look, I know we had a falling out.”
“A falling out?” she raised her brows. “You’re joking right?”
I shushed her, “You deserve to know why exactly I broke up with you.”
“I think I deserve to know why you were avoiding me so much!”
I played with my fingers, “I wasn’t avoiding you. I wanted to be with you every day, trust me. I just have a lot on my plate.” She started laughing. “What’s so funny?”
She continued chuckling, “The fact that you just lied to my face.”
“I’m not lying.”
“But you are!” she looked at me in disbelief. “You’ve been with that freak every day after school!”
“I’d watch what you say about her!” I snapped.
She looked a little taken back, chuckling again, “Oh. You have feelings for her.”
“I’m here to talk about you, not her.”
“Well talk Harry!”
“I’ve been trying to!” I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to keep myself calm.
I opened my eyes to find her staring sadly at the floor, “You’re right, I’m sorry.”
I shook my head, “Its fine.”
“No it’s not, I’ve been such a selfish jerk lately.” That’s an understatement. “I’m really sorry.”
I sighed, “You don’t know the whole story, Ry.”
She nodded, “I know. I’m all ears this time, I promise.”
“I was missing school even before I met her. It’s because-“ I was interrupted by my vibrating phone.
“Hello?” I answered it, watching Riley shake her head in frustration.
“Haz! You need to get over here!” Perrie’s voice filled my ear.
I tilted my head in confusion, “Well, now’s not a good time.”
“It’s Iris!”
I stood up, “What? What happened?” Riley followed my movements, shooting me a worried expression.
“She cut herself really badly. My mum’s working on her wrist right now,” she said really fast.
“Okay, just relax, I’ll be there in a few minutes,” I said before hanging up the phone.
“What’s going on?” Riley rubbed my arm.
I began running to my car, “I’ll tell you tomorrow.”
“No, I’m coming with you,” she matched my pace. I didn’t even want to argue with her, I needed to get to Iris fast.
“Why didn’t you take her to the hospital?” I asked Perrie as I walked into her house. I pulled my hand away from Riley’s since she was holding it for some reason.
“I didn’t take her to the hospital because they’d put her in a mental institute!” Perrie yelled to me as I ran up the stairs towards the guest room.
Riley managed to catch up to me before I got to the door, lacing our fingers together. Why does she keep doing that? I let the fingers she was holding go limp and I pushed the bedroom door open. “Mercy!” Riley started rubbing my arm and acting all sympathetic. What kind of show is she putting on?
“Get out,” Iris whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek.
“Mercy, what happened?” I yanked my hand away from Riley’s and inched closer to Iris.
“Please go away,” she cried.
I reached out my hand to wipe her tears away, “Angel…”
“Get away from me,” her lip quivered. Is she scared of me?
“Haz,” Perrie put her hand on my shoulder. “I think you should leave.”
Is she joking? I just got here! I’m not leaving her like this. “You’re the one who called me here!” I yelled at the blonde. I immediately felt bad for being so rude.
She frowned, “That was before I realized why she cut herself.”
“You’re blaming me!?” I can’t believe what I’m hearing.
Riley tugged my jacket, “Harry, we should go.”
“No!” What I really should’ve said was, ‘Why would I go anywhere with you?’ I turned to Iris and mellowed down my anger, “Did I do something?” If I did, I have to hear it from her myself.
“You broke me,” she started sobbing. “Leave me alone!” She’s never spoken to me like that before. I was shocked at her words. I don’t understand what I did. Why’s she suddenly shutting me out? What did I do?
Riley wrapped her arms around one of mine, “Let’s go,” and began dragging me out of the room. The whole way out, I stared at Iris. She was so scared and this time, I couldn’t help her. I didn’t want to leave her, I just wanted to talk it out.
As soon as her face disappeared behind the doorframe, I could hear her sobbing harder than before. What if she didn’t want me to leave? Still, I couldn’t find it in myself to run back up there. I don’t need to make matters worse when I don’t even know what’s going on. I need to get to the bottom of this.
Once Riley and I were in Perrie’s driveway, I pulled out of her embrace and snapped, “Spit it out!”
“What do you mean?” she acted all innocent.
I threw my arms in the air, “Fuck, Ry. You think I’m not on to you? The hand holding shit.”
She tapped her leg with her fingers, “So I wanted to hold your hand. Is that a crime?”
“Oh please,” I scoffed. “You were trying to make her jealous. What the fuck is wrong with you? She just hurt herself!”
“It’s not my fault! I didn’t know she’d do that!” her eyes suddenly widened as she covered her mouth. I knew it. I knew she had something to do with this
I clenched my fists, “What did you do?” I already know she was spying on us since she said earlier that she knows Iris and I have been hanging out everyday. I'm curious as to what else she's been up to.
“Nothing,” she curled her lips and shook her head.
“I shouldn’t have ever left her,” I ran my fingers through my curls. “I’ve tried talking to you for so long! I should’ve known you were up to something when you finally agreed!” I slammed my hands on Perrie’s garage door.
“Harry I-“
I whipped my head towards her, “What?! You didn’t do shit? You were with me? Well fuck you Riley! I shouldn’t have ever tried to tell you what’s been going on with me! You don’t deserve to know!” I stomped over to my car and climbed in, slamming the door shut behind me.
“Harry!” she yelled out to me as I backed out of the driveway. There’s no way I’m talking to her or letting her near me anymore. I’m done with her bullshit. She doesn’t know what’s going on and that’s the way it’s going to stay. She brought it all on herself.
Saturday October 19th
“You alright, Mate?” Niall asked me as we walked up to Louis’s house where a party was being thrown. I went to Perrie’s earlier this morning, but Iris was already gone. Perrie didn’t even know where she went since Iris left before she woke up, but then again Perrie could've been lying to me. She still thinks I have something to do with Iris's suicide attempt.
I ran to the train track afterwards and Iris wasn’t there either. I was really worried about her since I didn’t even know where she lived and if she was even there. What if she hurts herself again? The only thing that could help me with my nerves was alcohol, so I’ve been drinking all day.
“Fuck yeah!” I cheered and took another sip of the vodka I stole from my father.
Niall chuckled, “You can barely stand up straight.”
“Being straight is for pussies!"
He scrunched his nose, "You don't make any sense. I'm pretty sure you just said you're gay."
I shrugged, “Does anything ever make sense?”
“I guess not,” he laughed.
Just then, I noticed a familiar asshole standing in Lou’s lawn: Scott. I noticed him talking to some dude I recognized, but I couldn’t quite figure out who he was. I laid myself on the ground so I could eavesdrop. Something told me I should, or maybe it’s just because I’m drunk as a skunk.
“What are you doing, Haz?” Niall giggled and squatted next to me.
“Shh,” I placed my index finger on his knee. I thought that was his lips until I looked up at his face, then I corrected my gesture. “I’m spying on the rapist.”
“So you really think he did it?”
I nodded aggressively, “I know he did it. Now shush.” Niall pretended to zip his mouth, lock it, and throw away the key. Thank God.
“I don’t know Man, I still feel kind of bad,” the guy said to Scott.
Scott lightly shoved the guy’s shoulder, “Are you seriously getting cold feet now?”
The guy shook his head, “Too late for that. I just feel guilty because no one likes her.”
“Look Andrew, you’re gonna keep your mouth shut, or I’ll shut it for you,” Scott threatened. Andrew…I knew I recognized that kid. He doesn’t hang out with us at school but I always caught him and Riley talking to each other. Wait, that’s also Iris’s ex.
“It’s not like Riley is gonna do anything for us!” Andrew barked. “She’s just using us to get revenge.” And that’s all I needed to hear. I stood to my feet and brushed my pants off.
Niall stood to his feet as well, “Uh Haz, what are you doing?”
“Just go get Perrie,” I smiled. I need her to know it’s not my fault Iris hurt herself. Niall did as I told him to and ran off to find her.
“Hey!” I yelled at Andrew as I walked over to the Knobs.
“Shit,” I heard him mutter and Scott only smirked.
I could tell Andrew was the weakest one. I walked closer to him, drinking sips of vodka along the way. Andrew began backing up, frightened at the thought of what I could do. He backed himself into the wall of the house.
“What did you say to her?!” I screamed in his face, but it sounded more like an angry slur.
He held his hands up as if he were surrendering, “Look Man, I don’t want any trouble.”
I gripped his shirt and repeateded myself, “What did you say to her?!”
“Ask Riley.”
“Harry!” I heard Perrie scream from behind me. I just ignored her, but I was glad she was there.
“No, you’re gonna tell me right now,” I grinded my teeth and held my bottle up.
He flinched, “Okay, okay, okay.” Fucking Wuss. “I told her you were faking, that everything you ever told and did with her was what Riley made you do. It wasn’t my idea though, it was their’s.” He pointed to Scott, “It was his and Riley’s idea.”
“Okay,” I nodded and released the guy. I turned to walk away, but wound up spinning back around to collide my fist into his face. The thing is, I’m really drunk, so I missed and punched the bricks on Lou’s house. I groaned in agony and held my bloody fist.
“Fucking Christ, Harry!” Perrie growled as she ran towards me.
I heard Scott laughing, “Funniest shit I’ve ever seen. Fucking Moron.” I wanted to run over and punch him, but Zayn helped Perrie pull me to their car.
“Thanks Nialler,” Zayn nodded to Niall. “We’ll take it from here. You have fun.” Niall nodded and waved as Perrie and Zayn joined me in the car and drove me to Zayn’s place.
“I can’t believe you did that Haz,” Perrie grumbled as she cleaned up my hand. I was sat on Zayn’s couch in his living room. Luckily, his parents were working late. They won't care if I crash here, but they'd be pissed if they saw me like this right now.
“I’m sorry,” I pouted before wincing in pain.
She sighed, “I’m the one who should be sorry. I didn’t believe you.”
“It’s okay, I get why you wouldn’t.”
Zayn furrowed his brows and sat next to me, “Am I missing something here?”
“No it’s just-“ Perrie started to say.
“You should meet Iris,” I grinned at him.
“Harry…” Perrie warned, but I was drunk, and she wasn’t gonna stop my rambling.
“Iris Mercer?” Zayn’s eyes widened.
I nodded, “She’s so pretty.”
“I guess, but Haz, she’s social suicide.”
“She’s not,” Perrie frowned. “She’s nothing like everyone says she is. It’s just that no one gave her a chance.”
Zayn ran his hand down his face, “You’ve been talking to her?”
I nodded and grinned a stupid grin, “We’ve been bringing her lunch.”
“Harry,” Perrie pressed her fingers into my wounds.
I winced, “Just me…Perrie isn’t nice like me.” I glared at her hoping she’d stop, and she finally did.
“You’ve been bringing her lunch?” Zayn’s eyebrows raised. “How did I not notice this?”
She curled her lips, “Harry would get the tray and I’d ‘go to the bathroom’.”
“I-I-I’m speechless,” Zayn stuttered.
“You know Clarissa?” I poked his cheek.
He swatted my hand away, “Yeah? She’s cool.”
“That’s Iris,” I laid my head onto the back of the couch. “She’s so pretty.”
Zayn smiled, “You already said she’s pretty.”
“Well, I’m a smart drunk,” my eyes started drifting closed.
“Yeah, smart. Cause smart drunks punch walls,” I heard Perrie say sarcastically and Zayn followed her words with a chuckle. I love my friends.
Sunday October 20th
I woke up with a massive headache. I was sprawled across Zayn’s couch with a blanket laying on my cold body.
“Morning Mate,” Zayn walked in and handed me a glass of water and aspirin. “You’re gonna need this.”
“Thanks,” I half smiled and took the pill before chugging the water down.
He sat down next to me, “So I’ve been thinking about what you said last night.”
I groaned, “Oh shit, that’s right. I shouldn’t have told you.”
He smiled, “No it’s fine. I won’t tell anyone. Perrie and I talked about it after you drifted off. Clarissa is really cool, and it’s interesting to know that she was Iris all along. I feel bad for all the girl is going through.”
“You don’t even know the half of it,” I rubbed my temples.
“Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that what you’re doing is cool and that if you really like this girl, I’m not judging.”
I patted his shoulder, “Thanks.”
He gripped my neck and shook me slightly, “Well, what are you waiting for? Go get her.”
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
He laughed, “With that attitude, you’re never going to win her over.”
“Oh, I meant I should take a shower first,” I smirked.
“That’d be a good idea,” he sniffed the air around me and pretended to be disgusted by my scent.
“Areshole,” I laughed while punching his shoulder.
Truth is, I wasn’t planning to see her today. I just wanted time to think about what I’m going to say to her. How do I tell her that my lunatic ex-girlfriend got her ex to lie to her? God, it sounds crazy just thinking about it. I can’t believe this is all because of me…
Monday October 21st
I decided to get up early today and head to the florist shop. I need to tell Iris everything, but first I want to show her how much I don’t care about what other people say. I’m giving her flowers in front of people at school whether they approve or not. I don’t need their permission on who I can and cannot date. Iris is mine. I decided to pick irises, as cheesy as that sounds. Who knows? Maybe she’ll appreciate it.
Judging by people’s uplifting moods, I figure Iris isn’t here yet. I noticed I was receiving weird looks and that’s all probably from my drunken performance the other night. God, I’m such an embarrassment. At least Iris won’t know about it. I stood by her locker and awaited her arrival. Of course, I got more dirty looks since everyone knows whose locker this is. They can all go fuck themselves though, I don’t give a shit.
Then I saw her. She looked so beautiful with her hair up in a bun and her light makeup. She looks beautiful no matter what. I watched as her blue-green eyes widened when she realized I was waiting for her.
“Hey,” I smiled to her. She continued staring, not saying one word. Who can blame her? She thinks I don’t like her at all, but that’s going to change. “These are for you,” I held out the flowers to her. “They’re irises.” She probably already knows that, Harry.
It’s when she pushed the flowers away from me and ignored me that I was taken by surprise. I could tell she didn’t even want to look at me. This is killing her. I’m not sure it’s a good idea to talk to her about it here though. Especially since she doesn’t like the attention she already gets.
I reached over her and placed the flowers in her locker “Have a good day,” I whispered. Have a good day? You’re a fucking wally, Styles. I noticed Louis and Liam were on the other end of the hall so I walked over to chill with them until class started. I kept wondering if Iris looked back at me. It took every ounce of me not to look over at her, but I knew she’d be more comfortable if I didn’t.
“You’re taking her lunch?” Zayn asked as I put together a tray in the cafeteria. I nodded. “I take it things went well yesterday then?”
“I didn’t go yesterday.”
He looked shocked, “Why not?”
“Can we just talk about this later?” I raised a brow at him.
He sighed, “Fine, but you better not screw this up.”
I glared, “Gee thanks.” I got Iris some salad, some grapes, and a water because I know she loves eating healthy food; well for lunch anyways. Then I made my way over to Mrs. Clark’s room because I knew she’d be in there.
“Hey Mrs. Clark,” I greeted her as I walked into the room.
Her face lit up and she walked over to give me a hug, “Hey Harry, what are you up to?”
“Just bringing Iris some food.”
“That’s sweet of you,” she rubbed my arm and walked back to her desk.
I took a deep breath before making my way towards Iris. I know this is going to be difficult. I placed the tray onto her desk, “Here.”
She set her book into her lap and pushed the tray away, “I don’t want this, Harry.”
“Well I paid for it, so eat up.” She just stared down at the book in her lap. Once again, she was ignoring my eyes. “Iris, please eat it.”
“I’m not hungry,” she looked at me with teary eyes. I can tell it’s hard for her to even speak to me.
I pushed the tray closer to her, “I’m not leaving until you start eating.” All I can do is pray she’s not starving herself as well.
She looked at the ground, “Please go.”
“Is taking a bite out of something too much to ask?” I sighed.
“Fine,” she mumbled and began nibbling at her salad.
I nodded in appreciation, “Thank you.” Then, I left. I knew I was bothering her, and I felt bad for doing it. I just wanted to know she’s okay. I just wanted to help her and let her know I still care. It’s just that she’s so upset and it’s all my fault. This sucks.
After school I slowly walked to the train track. I knew she wouldn’t be there, so why rush? Yet again, I was shocked. Iris was laying on the track staring up at the sky. Why is she here? She knew I’d come. She doesn’t want to see me, does she?
“I didn’t think I’d ever see you here again,” I sat down next to her. “You look nice today.”
She sat up with anger burning in her eyes, “Look, I know you found this place before I did so I’m not going to ask you to leave. After all, it is your hideout. But do me a favor and don’t talk.”
“Okay,” I shrugged. I have to say, I felt very offended. Part of me thinks I deserved that, but she doesn’t even realize that I never lied to her. I’ve never lied to her since the day we met. She’s the first person I’ve ever been completely honest with.
I sat there quietly for the longest time. Then, she broke the silence, “What happened to your hand?”
I shook my head, “I’m not allowed to speak.” Okay, so I’m still offended by what she said.
“Harry...”
“Don’t worry about me,” I sort of snapped but I managed to sound disappointed as well. I don’t want to tell her why my hand looks so fucked up; I'm humiliated. I also realized I can’t tell her what happened. She’s confused, I can tell. She wants to be mad at me, but she can’t help but worry. I don’t need her sympathy, not after what she’s going through. “I don’t deserve your pity.”
A tear rolled down her cheek that she quickly swatted away, “You’re right, I don’t.”
“I’m so sorry. I know that won’t change anything, but I am.” I buried my face in my hands, “I don’t deserve you.”
“What?” I knew she didn’t hear me and in a way, I was glad she didn’t.
I lifted my head and signed, ‘smile’ to her. “Don’t lose your smile Mercy.” Then, I stood up and walked away. I couldn’t sit there and look at the mess I’ve made. If there is such thing as fate, she’ll find out the truth on her own.
Tuesday October 29th
“Get back here, Asshole! I’m not done with you!” Riley shouted as she chased me out of the cafeteria. I had just fought Scott and my fist was ruined, yet again. I really need to stop this.
I whipped my body towards her, “You are the worst bloody spy!”
“Really?! And why’s that?!”
“You failed to find out that my father beats the shit out of me!" I yelled in her face. Her anger suddenly changed to horror. “You hurt her! You did to her what my dad does to me! That’s why I don’t want to be with you! Because to me, you’re just another fucking monster! So leave her alone!”
I walked away from her and headed to the nurse’s office. I was done. I’ve been stealing alcohol out of my father’s medicine cabinet every day and getting drunk every night. I couldn’t live with what I’ve done to Iris. I just wanted to numb the pain and forget about it all, even if it was only for a couple of hours. I’ve been distancing myself from everyone, including my mum and my friends. What if I hurt them too? People have been talking about me around the school and how I’ve become so anti-social. I didn’t care at first, but now I just wish they knew what I was going through. Now, I know exactly how Iris felt and it pains me. I get why she never wanted me to feel this way, but I’m glad I know exactly what she went through. Now, I understand the depth of her situation even more.
Present Time
“Harry I-I don’t know what to say,” Iris stuttered.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” I sighed. “Maybe you would’ve believed me. I was just worried I’d be making you more miserable.”
She began twisting her hair, “No, don’t be sorry. I understand now. I’m sorry I considered what Andrew said truthful.”
I traced the wrap on my hand, “It’s okay.” Nothing was okay. This whole situation was just messed up.
“I um…” she paused and stood up. “I need some time to think.” Then, she ran away.
Why didn’t I yell after her or chase her? Because I don’t deserve her. It’s true, I don’t. Look what being with me did to her. She wanted to kill herself. What if I hurt her again? What if she’s successful next time? I believe God brought us together to help each other, not break each other more. If that means I can’t be with her, then so be it. It’s not what I want, but maybe it’s for the best.
Iris’s POV:
It’s just so much to take in. He didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve been snapping at him and thinking so many horrible things about him and it’s all been wrong. Andrew, Riley, and Scott were the ones who were deceiving me this whole time. Why did I allow myself to trust that asshole? Why did I do that to Harry? He’s becoming me because of me. I don’t deserve him.
Notes
Long chapter, yay! Hopefully that makes up for me not updating yesterday. Hope you loved it!
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Question Time:
Does everything make sense now? Is anyone still confused? I'm just curious.
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11/18/17