Skye

I was breathing heavily as I continued to perfect the new dance routine I had created. I could feel Harry’s eyes on me as I moved around the dance floor. Grumbling to myself, after I stumbled, I restarted the music and started the routine again. The moment I got to the second spin halfway through the song I stumbled again.

Sighing I walked over to grab my water bottle that sat by Harry and took a drink before starting again. Harry’s eyes constantly watched me, never once leaving my body. I shot him a small smile before landing my first flip perfectly and moved to the left for the second spin. I completed it and continued on to a jete and then paused with the song in an attitude stance before balancing myself and adding a back flip.

I stumbled after the back flip. I groaned in frustration before walking over to the stereo again.

“Maybe you should finish for the night.” Harry’s voice piped up surprising me.

“I want to perfect this.” I told him, reaching for the remote.

“It’s getting late though. You can practice tomorrow.” He said standing up and walking over to me. I waved him off.

“I’m fine, you can go to bed though. I’ll be in later.” I told him, as I wrapped my hands around the remote. I heard Harry’s sigh.

“Please, can you just come to bed?” Harry pleaded from behind me. I heard the catch in his voice. I closed my eyes for a moment as I felt his voice tear at my heart. I placed the remote back down before spinning around to look at him.

“Okay,” I said softly. His face instantly relaxed into relief and he grabbed my hand, leading me out of the room. I jumped into the shower first, rubbing the sweat off my body before I walked into our bedroom to see Harry already in bed, waiting.

I crawled in next to him and pecked his lips softly. His eyes fluttered slightly as I pulled back, I could tell he was really tired.

“Go to sleep Harry.” I said softly. He nodded and pulled me down to a laying position next to him.

“I can only sleep when I’m hugging you.” He said softly before pressing a kiss to my hair and closing his eyes. I reached a hand up and gently ran it through his hair. It wasn’t long before his breathing got deeper and I knew he had fallen asleep.

I stayed where I was staring into the face of the beautiful person in front of me. I always forgot that millions of girls all over the world were pining for him. He was my Harry, I was used to him.

Yet he still managed to take my breath away and I loved him for that. I reached forward and pressed a light kiss on his nose. I watched as he twitched his nose and mumbled something I couldn’t understand before burying his face in my neck. I smiled and continued to stroke his hair. I watched him sleep soundly as I slowly waited for sleep to over take me, a rarity as of late.

-

“What time did you get up?” Harry asked tiredly when he walked into my dance room the next morning. I watched him as he rubbed his eyes tiredly before taking his usual seat against the wall. I shrugged at him.

“About an hour ago.”

“But it’s only 6:30 now.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” I mumbled, pulling my leg upwards as I stretched. I heard Harry’s sigh, I chose to ignore it. He stayed silent while I stretched, so silent that I thought for a moment he was asleep but when I glanced over he was only deep in thought. He glanced up at me when he noticed my staring.

“I want to talk to you about something, but I don’t want you to freak out.” Harry said standing up and walking towards me. I eyed him suspiciously.

“What is it?” I asked confused.

“Promise to hear me out?” He asked.

“Harry,” I whined at him. He sighed and run a hand through his hair.

“I want you to talk to someone.”

“What?” I asked confused.

“I want you to talk to a psychiatrist.” Harry said looking me right in the eye. My mouth fell open in shock.

“Um, why?”

“About our baby Skye. I think you need to talk to someone about our baby.” My body froze and I felt my blood run cold. My heart stopped and my stomach dropped, I turned away from Harry and focused on the mirrors on the wall as I began to stretch again.

“I told you I was fine Harry. I’m moving on.” I said brightly.

“No you’re not fine Skye.” Harry said. I continued to stretch. “Can you at least look at me?”

I sighed and turned to him, placing my hands on my hips.

“I’m not a psycho Harry. I don’t need to speak to anyone. I lost a baby, that’s all. I’m moving on.” I said annoyed before walking past Harry and out of the room.

“No you’re not okay. You’re not the usual you.” Harry’s voice carried from behind me as I heard his footsteps echo mine. I rolled my eyes and continued towards the stairs before he grabbed my arm and pulled me back around to him. I yelped in surprise and pulled my arm out of his grip.

“Stop walking away from me.” He hissed. “Stop ignoring this!”

“I’m not ignoring anything! Just because I’m not sitting in my room in a blubbering mess doesn’t mean I’m ignoring this. I’m moving on Harry. I have to move on! The baby wasn’t even alive okay!” I screamed at him automatically regretting the words as the pain flashed across Harry’s face.

“This isn’t you,” he said softly.

“Well I’m sorry Harry! But people change, so I’m sorry if I’m not the girl you fell in love with!” I yelled at him angrily. We stayed frozen, staring at each other for a moment. I could see the doors to the spare rooms open.

“I’m so sorry that I can’t carry a child for you!” I hissed at him. “But I’m trying to get over it!”

“That’s why I want you to talk to someone. Throwing yourself into dancing and barely eating isn’t going to help. Acting happy and okay with it isn’t going to help. We lost a baby Skye and instead of talking about it, you’re shutting me out. You won’t talk to me about it!” Harry yelled at me. I watched him shocked as the tears fell down his face.

“Can’t you see that I want to talk about it? That I need to talk about it!” Harry cried out. I watched him as he stood there staring at me hopelessly. I felt the tears fill my eyes as I really looked at Harry for the first time in days. He had bags under his eyes and his skin had paled slightly. I could see the slight loss of weight from exhaustion and lack of eating already. His hair was even limp. I stared at my boyfriend completely stunned. How had I not noticed that he was broken? How had I missed this so easily?

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered softly, tears falling from my eyes as I moved towards him. His body shook violently before he fell to his knees in front of me and placed his head against my stomach. His body shook from crying. I quickly dropped to my knees and cradled his head against me as he continued to cry.

“I’m sorry Harry. I’m sorry.” I kept whispering to him.

“I need you,” He whispered into my shoulder.

“I know and you have me okay? I’m right here, I’m never going anywhere.” I whispered into his ear.

“I wanted a baby with you so much.” He whispered, reaching his hand out to touch my stomach.

“I know, I know.” I said softly bending down to look into his eyes.

“Tell me you love me.” He whispered brokenly. Tears immediately flew down my face.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” I continued to repeat to him as I pressed my lips to his over and over again. “I love you.”

Harry arms wrapped around me and squished my body against his as tightly as possible.

“If you want me to go talk to someone, I will.” I told him softly. His head flew back so his eyes could meet mine.

“Thank you,” he whispered softly, pressing his lips to mine.

“Let’s go to bed yeah?” I asked softly. He nodded and slowly we both stood up and l lead him into the bedroom before helping him into bed, wrapping the blankets around him before crawling in next to him.

“You are the most amazing person in the world and I’m sorry for not noticing you these last few days. I’m sorry for being self-centred, for not noticing how much this was hurting you two. I’m so sorry for blocking you out.” I whispered softly into his ear.

“I’m sorry for not being able to help you and our baby.” Harry replied softly as I stared down at his sleepy form. I wasn’t the only one blaming myself for the miscarriage.

“This isn’t your fault Harry. It isn’t either of ours.” I said softly. “Go to sleep, I won’t leave again.”

As I promised him, his eyes slowly began to shut as my fingers found their way back through his hair. I kissed his lips softly before snuggling into his chest. His arms tightened around my waist and after a while his heartbeat got slower and his breathing got deeper.

I held the tears in as best I could as I stayed connected with Harry in every way I could, wanting to give as much comfort to him as possible.

How could I have not noticed how broken he was? How could I have been so selfish and only care about myself? I was going to make this up to Harry. He had been there for me through so much and I had taken that for granted. But now it was my turn to protect him.

I pulled him even closer against me, allowing his warmth to warm my body before I eventually fell asleep too.

Notes

There starting to heal guys!! :)