It Haunts Me
Bombshell
“What do you want to talk about?” I, curiously, asked the man I was in love with sixteen years ago. Who also currently stood two feet away from me in my parent’s kitchen.
“Can we talk somewhere more private please?” Zayn asked, as he looked around.
“Uh…I’m not going outside, it’s freezing. We can head upstairs, come on,” I told him as I made my way to the stairs. Zayn quickly passed me and headed up the staircase, by the time I reached the top he was waiting for me in the doorway of my old room. I walked past him and took the seat on the corner of the bed and he shut the door then took the seat at in the chair by the desk. “What’s up?” I, casually, asked him.
“Don’t act like you don’t know what I want to talk about,” Zayn said, a serious tone to his voice. “I know she’s my daughter, Kacey. I’m not blind.”
“Okay. Go on,” I said to him, casually throwing my hand in the air.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, hurt evident in his eyes.
“I don’t know,” I mumbled, hanging my head in embarrassment.
“You do too. Tell me, K,” He requested, using his old nickname for me.
“You really wanna know?” I asked him, as I slowly lifted my head to look at him. He nodded his head in reply to my question. “I didn’t want your career and the boys’ careers to be ruined just when things were picking up. I didn’t want a child to slow you down,” I told him.
“You could have stayed…” Zayn said, trailing off in the end.
“I could have stayed, you’re right Zayn. But I didn’t want to raise a kid with a father who would hide his real girlfriend away from the world. I didn’t want my daughter growing up while I was still dating you and asking why Daddy had another pretend girlfriend. I didn’t want that, and Aaliyah doesn’t deserve that,” I openly told him.
“I would have told management that I would no longer pretend to date Perrie, I would have stood up for you!” He yelled.
“Don’t yell, Aaliyah’s downstairs,” I told him and he nodded his head. “Zayn, the way I see it, you had your chance to stand up for me in the very beginning…and you didn’t.”
“And I regret every second of keeping you hidden from the world, Kace. I do,” Zayn pleaded as he moved to sit next to me on the bed.
“Well, the past is the past and we can’t change it,” I told him as I put space in between us. We sat in silence for a few moments, an awkward silence.
“I wanna be in her life,” Zayn blurted out and I quickly snapped my head in his direction.
“Excuse me?” I asked him.
“I know you heard me. I want to be in Aaliyah’s life. She deserves to have her father in her life,” He said to me, and I couldn’t believe what my ears were hearing.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, she might hate yo—“
“Let her hate me, but she needs her father. She’s lived sixteen years not knowing who I am, it can’t go any further,” he said.
“You have to promise me one thing,” I said to him and he nodded his head for me to continue. “Don’t hide her from everyone. I won’t let you treat her like you treated me.”
“I promise,” Zayn said with a smile on his face.
“Let’s tell her after dinner, okay? Because I just know she’s going to have questions,” I told him, a small smile on my face. His reaction wasn’t too bad, although this wasn’t how I planned on him finding out.
“Okay. Did you get my email I sent you?” He asked, changing the subject.
“Yeah.”
“Can we?” He asked.
“Can we what?” I replied to him, shifting my attention elsewhere.
“Go out to dinner, catch up. Let me explain everything,” He said, and I took a moment to think it through.
“As long as you don’t have any intention of trying to get back together with me, then I don’t see why not,” I told him as I looked at him.
“That ship has sailed! A friendly dinner,” he said, but something told me he was hurt by the words I told him. There was something in his eyes.
“A friendly dinner,” I told him as I stood up and made my way for the door. “Come on, let’s go eat,” I told him and he shot up and ran downstairs but not before mentioning he missed my mum’s cooking as he ran past me.
--Aaliyah—
“Gran, dinner was delicious!” I said as I finished up my plate and scooted it away from me.
“Thank you, dear,” she said, a smile adorning her face.
“So, Zayn, how’s tour going?” My granddad asked Zayn who sat to the left of me. I still can’t believe THE Zayn Malik is sitting next to me.
“It’s going great! I’m getting a lot of great feedback from the crowds,” he said as he finished up his salad.
“You’re touring with Niall Horan, right?” I asked him and nodded his head. “What’s he like? He’s probably my favorite artist. Mum is always playing his music,” I gushed.
“He’s one of my best mates. Niall and I used to be in a boy band called One Direction together. He’s still acts as if he’s eighteen, although he has to slow down on what he eats because he just doesn’t have the same metabolism anymore,” Zayn said with laughter.
“So are you still friends with Harry, Liam and Louis?” I asked, and he nodded in response.
“Of course. I wouldn’t be where I am today without them!” He said
“Mum, how do you know Zayn again?” I asked, turning my attention to my mother who sat across from me.
“Childhood friends, love,” she said, a small smile on her face. Something felt off with her, but I wasn’t fixing to question it.
“So do you know the rest of One Direction too?” I asked her.
“Yeah, I do. Why do you think I always go to each of their concerts when they’re in town?” She said with a smile on her face.
“That’s so cool. Who’s your favorite?” I asked her.
“Niall. Still talk to the lad, one of my best mates,” she said as she brought the empty dishes to the sink to be washed later on.
“That’s so cool!” I gushed and I turned to look at Zayn who just widened his eyes in excitement at me.
“Love, are you ready to ask more about your father?” My mum asked me as she came to sit back down at the kitchen table. My grandparents got up to leave the room, which was weird, and Zayn got up to put his dish away and came back and took the seat next to my mum.
“Uh, yeah, sure!” I said to her.
“Okay. Would you like to know who he is?” She slowly asked me, and I anxiously bobbed my head up and down.
“It’s me,” Zayn said from beside my mum. It took me a while to process what he meant by that and when I did, my eyes about bulged out of my head.
“What?!” I yelled in shock.
“Zayn is your dad,” my mum calmly said.
“You’re fucking kidding?!” I screeched, and immediately regretted the words I chose.
“Watch your language, Aaliyah Rose Peterson!” My mum yelled at me with a stern look on her face.
“Sorry, I just. Okay. I’m going to walk out of this room and walk back in and he won’t be here because there is no way he’s my dad,” I said to them and slowly got up and left the room. Once I stood in the foyer I counted to twenty and turned around and slowly opened my eyes, Zayn wasn’t there. So I WAS dreaming.
“I knew this was too good to be true,” I said as I walked back in.
“Zayn! Cut it out, and sit up!” Mum said and Zayn popped up with a smirk on his face. Okay, so I wasn’t dreaming.
“If you’re my dad, then where have you been all my life?” I asked him as I sat back down.
“Not knowing you existed,” he simply said. Well, that was easy.
“Wait, so my mum didn’t tell you about me?” I asked him.
“We had a falling out which led us to break up and, well, never speak to each other again,” Zayn said and I could see a look of regret on my mum’s face.
“Why didn’t you tell him mum?” I asked.
“Things were complicated between us. It was just at the peak of One Direction’s success and well Zayn and I weren’t doing too well at the moment.”
“How come?” I pressed.
“Just things management made me do,” Zayn, my FATHER, said.
“So, if you’re telling me you’re my dad…does that mean you’re going to be in my life now?” I asked him.
“If you’ll let me,” he responded.
“Of course!” I yelled with a smile on my face. “Do I get to call you dad?” I asked him.
“I don’t see why not, it may be weird at first but it’ll take some getting used to,” he said with a firm nod.
“Is my first name Aaliyah in honor of his heritage?” I asked my mum and she nodded her head.
“He always said if he had a daughter he’d name her Aaliyah,” my mum said and she smiled at my DAD.
“Am I going to get my last name changed?” I asked my mum.
“Maybe further down the road, dear. It’s up to your father,” my mum said.
“Wow, this is so cool. I never thought I was going to meet my dad.”
“I never thought I’d have a daughter, but I do,” Zayn, my dad, said with a smile on his face. “Now, if it’s okay with your mum, I was wondering if you’d like to go to dinner tomorrow and do some shopping. As our first father-daughter activity?” He pondered aloud.
“Please, mum! Can I, can I, can I?!” I begged her.
“Well, tomorrow’s a school night…”
“Please! I’ll get all my homework done, I promise!” I pleaded with my hands clasped together.
“Oh come on, Kace. Let her,” Dad begged too.
“Alright! I don’t see why not!” My mum finally said while throwing her hands in the air.
“Yes!” Me and my dad both said as we jumped up. Once we looked at each other we both laughed, he really is my dad.
This is probably the best day of my life. I never thought in a million years I’d meet my dad and never did I think Zayn Malik, the celebrity, would be my dad.
“Can we talk somewhere more private please?” Zayn asked, as he looked around.
“Uh…I’m not going outside, it’s freezing. We can head upstairs, come on,” I told him as I made my way to the stairs. Zayn quickly passed me and headed up the staircase, by the time I reached the top he was waiting for me in the doorway of my old room. I walked past him and took the seat on the corner of the bed and he shut the door then took the seat at in the chair by the desk. “What’s up?” I, casually, asked him.
“Don’t act like you don’t know what I want to talk about,” Zayn said, a serious tone to his voice. “I know she’s my daughter, Kacey. I’m not blind.”
“Okay. Go on,” I said to him, casually throwing my hand in the air.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, hurt evident in his eyes.
“I don’t know,” I mumbled, hanging my head in embarrassment.
“You do too. Tell me, K,” He requested, using his old nickname for me.
“You really wanna know?” I asked him, as I slowly lifted my head to look at him. He nodded his head in reply to my question. “I didn’t want your career and the boys’ careers to be ruined just when things were picking up. I didn’t want a child to slow you down,” I told him.
“You could have stayed…” Zayn said, trailing off in the end.
“I could have stayed, you’re right Zayn. But I didn’t want to raise a kid with a father who would hide his real girlfriend away from the world. I didn’t want my daughter growing up while I was still dating you and asking why Daddy had another pretend girlfriend. I didn’t want that, and Aaliyah doesn’t deserve that,” I openly told him.
“I would have told management that I would no longer pretend to date Perrie, I would have stood up for you!” He yelled.
“Don’t yell, Aaliyah’s downstairs,” I told him and he nodded his head. “Zayn, the way I see it, you had your chance to stand up for me in the very beginning…and you didn’t.”
“And I regret every second of keeping you hidden from the world, Kace. I do,” Zayn pleaded as he moved to sit next to me on the bed.
“Well, the past is the past and we can’t change it,” I told him as I put space in between us. We sat in silence for a few moments, an awkward silence.
“I wanna be in her life,” Zayn blurted out and I quickly snapped my head in his direction.
“Excuse me?” I asked him.
“I know you heard me. I want to be in Aaliyah’s life. She deserves to have her father in her life,” He said to me, and I couldn’t believe what my ears were hearing.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, she might hate yo—“
“Let her hate me, but she needs her father. She’s lived sixteen years not knowing who I am, it can’t go any further,” he said.
“You have to promise me one thing,” I said to him and he nodded his head for me to continue. “Don’t hide her from everyone. I won’t let you treat her like you treated me.”
“I promise,” Zayn said with a smile on his face.
“Let’s tell her after dinner, okay? Because I just know she’s going to have questions,” I told him, a small smile on my face. His reaction wasn’t too bad, although this wasn’t how I planned on him finding out.
“Okay. Did you get my email I sent you?” He asked, changing the subject.
“Yeah.”
“Can we?” He asked.
“Can we what?” I replied to him, shifting my attention elsewhere.
“Go out to dinner, catch up. Let me explain everything,” He said, and I took a moment to think it through.
“As long as you don’t have any intention of trying to get back together with me, then I don’t see why not,” I told him as I looked at him.
“That ship has sailed! A friendly dinner,” he said, but something told me he was hurt by the words I told him. There was something in his eyes.
“A friendly dinner,” I told him as I stood up and made my way for the door. “Come on, let’s go eat,” I told him and he shot up and ran downstairs but not before mentioning he missed my mum’s cooking as he ran past me.
--Aaliyah—
“Gran, dinner was delicious!” I said as I finished up my plate and scooted it away from me.
“Thank you, dear,” she said, a smile adorning her face.
“So, Zayn, how’s tour going?” My granddad asked Zayn who sat to the left of me. I still can’t believe THE Zayn Malik is sitting next to me.
“It’s going great! I’m getting a lot of great feedback from the crowds,” he said as he finished up his salad.
“You’re touring with Niall Horan, right?” I asked him and nodded his head. “What’s he like? He’s probably my favorite artist. Mum is always playing his music,” I gushed.
“He’s one of my best mates. Niall and I used to be in a boy band called One Direction together. He’s still acts as if he’s eighteen, although he has to slow down on what he eats because he just doesn’t have the same metabolism anymore,” Zayn said with laughter.
“So are you still friends with Harry, Liam and Louis?” I asked, and he nodded in response.
“Of course. I wouldn’t be where I am today without them!” He said
“Mum, how do you know Zayn again?” I asked, turning my attention to my mother who sat across from me.
“Childhood friends, love,” she said, a small smile on her face. Something felt off with her, but I wasn’t fixing to question it.
“So do you know the rest of One Direction too?” I asked her.
“Yeah, I do. Why do you think I always go to each of their concerts when they’re in town?” She said with a smile on her face.
“That’s so cool. Who’s your favorite?” I asked her.
“Niall. Still talk to the lad, one of my best mates,” she said as she brought the empty dishes to the sink to be washed later on.
“That’s so cool!” I gushed and I turned to look at Zayn who just widened his eyes in excitement at me.
“Love, are you ready to ask more about your father?” My mum asked me as she came to sit back down at the kitchen table. My grandparents got up to leave the room, which was weird, and Zayn got up to put his dish away and came back and took the seat next to my mum.
“Uh, yeah, sure!” I said to her.
“Okay. Would you like to know who he is?” She slowly asked me, and I anxiously bobbed my head up and down.
“It’s me,” Zayn said from beside my mum. It took me a while to process what he meant by that and when I did, my eyes about bulged out of my head.
“What?!” I yelled in shock.
“Zayn is your dad,” my mum calmly said.
“You’re fucking kidding?!” I screeched, and immediately regretted the words I chose.
“Watch your language, Aaliyah Rose Peterson!” My mum yelled at me with a stern look on her face.
“Sorry, I just. Okay. I’m going to walk out of this room and walk back in and he won’t be here because there is no way he’s my dad,” I said to them and slowly got up and left the room. Once I stood in the foyer I counted to twenty and turned around and slowly opened my eyes, Zayn wasn’t there. So I WAS dreaming.
“I knew this was too good to be true,” I said as I walked back in.
“Zayn! Cut it out, and sit up!” Mum said and Zayn popped up with a smirk on his face. Okay, so I wasn’t dreaming.
“If you’re my dad, then where have you been all my life?” I asked him as I sat back down.
“Not knowing you existed,” he simply said. Well, that was easy.
“Wait, so my mum didn’t tell you about me?” I asked him.
“We had a falling out which led us to break up and, well, never speak to each other again,” Zayn said and I could see a look of regret on my mum’s face.
“Why didn’t you tell him mum?” I asked.
“Things were complicated between us. It was just at the peak of One Direction’s success and well Zayn and I weren’t doing too well at the moment.”
“How come?” I pressed.
“Just things management made me do,” Zayn, my FATHER, said.
“So, if you’re telling me you’re my dad…does that mean you’re going to be in my life now?” I asked him.
“If you’ll let me,” he responded.
“Of course!” I yelled with a smile on my face. “Do I get to call you dad?” I asked him.
“I don’t see why not, it may be weird at first but it’ll take some getting used to,” he said with a firm nod.
“Is my first name Aaliyah in honor of his heritage?” I asked my mum and she nodded her head.
“He always said if he had a daughter he’d name her Aaliyah,” my mum said and she smiled at my DAD.
“Am I going to get my last name changed?” I asked my mum.
“Maybe further down the road, dear. It’s up to your father,” my mum said.
“Wow, this is so cool. I never thought I was going to meet my dad.”
“I never thought I’d have a daughter, but I do,” Zayn, my dad, said with a smile on his face. “Now, if it’s okay with your mum, I was wondering if you’d like to go to dinner tomorrow and do some shopping. As our first father-daughter activity?” He pondered aloud.
“Please, mum! Can I, can I, can I?!” I begged her.
“Well, tomorrow’s a school night…”
“Please! I’ll get all my homework done, I promise!” I pleaded with my hands clasped together.
“Oh come on, Kace. Let her,” Dad begged too.
“Alright! I don’t see why not!” My mum finally said while throwing her hands in the air.
“Yes!” Me and my dad both said as we jumped up. Once we looked at each other we both laughed, he really is my dad.
This is probably the best day of my life. I never thought in a million years I’d meet my dad and never did I think Zayn Malik, the celebrity, would be my dad.
11/30/13