It Takes Patience III: Stripped
Chapter 50: For What It's worth
I stepped out of the shower wrapping a towel around my waist before wiping off the condensation that appeared on the mirror and pushing my hair out of my face. When the steam finally seemed to settle out of the bathroom, I could finally get a clear look at myself in the mirror. Who I really was, what I really was. No matter where I go or what I do, what I did years ago will always be a part of me and though it’s not anything that I want to accept, it appears to be the grim fate that I’ve created for myself. I almost felt as if I was having an out of body experience because after I’d brushed my teeth and caught a glimpse of myself, there was nothing more there than a boy with dead green eyes staring at me with small specks of blood on his jeans that only I could see.
I rubbed my hands over my eyes and frowned before splashing my face with water, making the image disappear, hoping that I would never have to see it again in broad daylight when I heard it. Complete silence. The sound of muffled conversation had ended in the background and I know that she'd done what I asked her to. When I emerged from the bathroom, she was sat at the edge of the hotel bed with her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking as she silently sobbed. I stood at the doorway, frozen before I moved for my bag, pulling on a pair of sweats.
She stood up, running her hands through her hair before taking a deep breath to calm herself.
"I told. I told them. Everything."
I sat silently, waiting for her to continue and get everything that she needed to off of her chest, but she looked to me for some type of reaction that I'm not sure that I could give at the moment.
"What did they say?" I spoke while raising an eyebrow somewhat eager for the answer.
"They want me to stay here, stay at home." Reagan paused and for a moment my heart fell into my stomach. I would support her in whatever decision she makes. I'm angry at her for allowing this to happen, furious, but deep down, the selfish part of me still wants her to stay by my side. "My mom broke down and my dad wants me to tell him where we are," she paused again to shake her head, "but I can't."
My eyes met with her puffy red ones from my position on the bed before I felt myself internally rejoice.
"My mom was more understanding than my dad was, but...That was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life."
I stood from the bed and grabbed her, hugging her to me as I rubbed her back. Whether Reagan knows it or not, she's sacrificed so much to be with me. The opportunity of her dreams, some of her innocents, and to a certain degree a level of her sanity. The last thing I want her to sacrifice is a relationship with her parents. Especially because I would give anything in the world, except for her, to have that relationship with mine.
"Do you want to stay?" Reagan pulled her head away from my chest as she looked at me, a look of shock covering her features. "I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you to do anything that you don't want to do. Your parents love you and are only looking out for you. If I had a daughter and she was with someone like me, I would do the same as they are Reagan. They love you so much. If you're not ready for England, then–"
"No. It was one of the hardest things that I've had to do, but so was leaving you. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me. I'm happy that I told even though it wasn't easy. But I wouldn't' be able to bear leaving you again. I can't. And I'm so sorry that I put you through this. It's all my fault Harry."
I kissed the top of Reagan's head again while looking at the wall behind her. I don't one hundred percent agree with her, but I don't disagree with her either. If Dr. Koch thinks that he's gotten off without any harm done he's got another thing coming. He can kiss his doctorate goodbye.
"All of it isn't your fault. Just the lying bit." I scoffed while shaking my head remembering how much she pisses me off and drives me more insane all the while making me love her even more because even in her deceit, I know that she thought that she was protecting me.
"Don't say the words again, please. I know you're sorry. It doesn't make me any less annoyed or pissed at you, but it's good to know."
Reagan pulled away from me while rubbing her nose and then wiping her eyes. She looked at me closely, the way that therapists do when analyzing something, and I couldn't help but want to shy away from her. I really fucking hate it when she does that.
"How are you doing?" She asked me softly.
I didn't reply. Only shook my head, not wanting to explain to her what was going on right now. I've had enough for the day and by the looks of her, she has too.
"I'm gonna go order us something to eat from the restaurant downstairs.You should go shower and maybe get into bed afterwards. We've got to get up early tomorrow and you look kind of tired." I spoke avoiding her question.
"So do you." Reagan said as she began to strip off her clothes before heading into the restroom and turning on the large overhead faucet.
I made my way to the elevator once I knew that Reagan was in the shower but before I left, I went through her phone, pulling out a number and saving it in my own device before I placed it back where she left it. My mind continued to race as I took the short ride down to the main floor, trying to think of the right words to say, but at the moment I could think of none.
Passing the bar was a difficult thing to do, especially when I really could go for a drink right now and in America I'm stripped of the rights that I have in England. I put in an order for some simple take away pizza and wait for it to be finished rather than delivered to our door before I go back up to the room, opting for some alone time, allowing the words that I heard only a few hours ago and photo's that I hadn't seen in years burn into my memory.
"You alright, sweetie?" A fake blonde with a cigarette in between her fingers asks me as I lean against the bar. I furrow my eyebrows at her, instantly becoming annoyed with the question. Is there a stamp on my head that says otherwise or have I really just become shit at hiding the way I feel when it comes to things that have to deal with me and Reagan.
"Fine thanks." I speak quickly, hoping that she gets the point.
"You don't look fine. Would you like a drink?"
Was that readable too?
"I'm not old enough here."
She winks at me before taking a slow drag of her stale ass cigarette and it oddly makes me think of Zayn, Liam, and Louis. I really don't get why they like to smoke the damn things.
"That's alright. What'll you have?" She leaned over the bar waving down the bartender before she looked back over at me.
"Bourbon on the rocks."
Her eyes widen and a smirk appears on her lips before she places the order for me. The bartender nods and walks away from us to get the drink .
"I'm surprised that you don't have hair on your chest from drinking that. You're really cute and I hope the lucky lady who has you is treating you right." She speaks before smiling at me and pulling up one of the straps on her complicated shirt. I could hear the suggestive undertone to the way that she said treating but chose to ignore it to save myself any further headache from the shit storm that has been today.
The bartender brings her the dark liquor and she hands him ten dollars before she slides the glass down to me. I nod my head at her as a gesture of thanks and she only holds up her own mixed drink to me as her gesture of you're welcome. My phone vibrates in my pocket and when I take it out, there are three messages there, two from my mum and one from the love of my life who annoys me to no end.
Left you a voice message, but I guess you didn't get it? See you tomorrow?
I drank the bourbon, coughing a bit from the burn as it went down before I replied.
We'll see you tomorrow. Reagan is coming back with me. Hope that's still fine...but even if it's not... ;) xx
You know I have no problem with Reagan. I'm actually glad she'll be with you and glad she's doing better. You deserve to be happy, love. look forward to talking to you when you get back. I've got a bit of news. xx
I close my mum's notifications and go over to Reagan's, finishing my drink while standing against the bar and wishing that I had another.
Still getting food?
My order was called out just as I was going to reply, so I locked my phone instead, showing her that I'd read her message without bothering to give her an answer. I took the pizza after I'd paid for it, but before I could leave to go upstairs, I caught the attention of the natural brunette again.
"Yes?" She turned around smiling at me before putting out her cigarette in her ashtray.
"If I gave you cash, would you buy me a bottle of that bourbon?"
"I'd love to take something else from you, but if you have cash I won't turn it down."
I'm almost one-hundred percent certain that she doesn't turn down a lot of things. I hand her the money and she purposely brushes her hand against mine, causing me to smirk and after she purchases a bottle from the bar, handing it to me along with my change, I open it and start to drink before I get back to the elevator.
Taking large gulps of the drink straight from the bottle, I finally figure out the wording for the message that I wanted to send out earlier. I put the bottle between my legs before I try to juggle both my phone and a hot box of pizza on the elevator, rereading what I typed before I hit send.
When I get to our floor and knock on the door, Reagan opens it with a frown on her face once she see's the one fourth empty bourbon bottle.
"Where did you get that?" She asked me stepping to the side to let me in the room after she took the pizza box.
"Creepy stranger at the bar. She thought I was cute. I think it's because I'm British."
I closed the door behind me before trying to hand Reagan the bottle.
"I can't finish it all by myself. I mean I probably could, but...Want some?"
Reagan looked at the bottle and then back at me while she set the pizza box in the middle of one of the double beds. She gestured for me to sit down before she took the bottle from my hands, taking a small swig of it herself.
"That's my girl. Give it back now."
"No. You're not going to deal with whatever it is you're feeling that way."
I furrowed my eyebrows before I took a slice of pizza biting into it and then talking with my mouth full.
"I don't feel anything."
"You're lying." Reagan spoke after swallowing her first bite of the greasy but delicious sausage pizza, licking her lip to rid it of tomato sauce.
"I'm not lying I'm withholding information. Something you should be familiar with." Reagan stopped chewing and put her pizza slice down while breathing out exasperatedly. "Sorry. I'm sorry. But I'm still kind of pissed at you and can't help it." She nods her head, always too understanding when I take low blows.
"Talk to me, Harry. Tell me what's wrong." She takes another swig of the whiskey, wincing as it goes down. A bit of it rolls down her chin, detracting my gaze before she wipes it away. I immediately picture my lips catching it and then kissing her to drown away my thoughts, but she breaks my focus when she tilts her head to the side, silently demanding my answer.
"It's just– I won't, I won't be able to sleep tonight." I finish the last half of my sentence quietly before I put my head down and grab another slice. Reagan cups the side of my cheek, looking at me knowingly before she takes another swig from the bottle and hands it to me.
I take a final gulp of the liquor, finally feeling its effects take hold as my body overheats and my movements become impaired. Reagan grabs the bottle from me and sets it on the desk by the television, before she grabs my hand and pulls me along with her to the other bed, turning on the television in the background.
I take off my shirt and sweat pants before I lie down in the bed facing her and it's not until she lies down beside me that I notice what little she has on. My hand runs up her leg, stopping as soon as I hit her panty line at the top of her thigh. I can feel her shudder against me and goosebumps raise at the simplest touch.
"That's exactly what I didn't want to happen." She speaks after a few minutes making me confused.
"I didn't ever want you to have to see those pictures again." Reagan ran her hand over her mouth and then dropped her head, blaming herself for what I did, what I am.
"Every once in a while, it's a good thing to be reminded of the monsters that you have in your closet. It humbles you in a way, and makes you accept what you are. I've wanted to see and read what's been in those files for years. Now that I know about half of it, I'm slowly learning to accept it."
"You shouldn't have to accept any of that, because that's not who you are anymore. You'e not the same person you were then."
"No one ever wants to accept or see what's right in front of them." I chuckled while tracing the skin right beneath her panty line back and forth.
Reagan rolls her eyes in defeat while comfortingly running a hand through my hair. She's at a loss of words, only repeating what she's said before.
"I'm so sorry for what my dad did. I wish you never saw those pictures."
I grab Reagan's hips with both hands and pull her from her side onto my lap, causing her to straddle me as my thumbs continue to explore the skin just above the waistband of her knickers.
"Make me forget that I saw them then." My voice comes out at barely a whisper, and Reagan's chest rises and falls at a quicker pace than it was before. Our lips connect and I can taste the sweet mixture of tomato sauce and bourbon on her lips as I link my thumbs into the top of her panties, quickly adjusting her in order to move them down her legs.
Reagan grinds herself on top of me making us both gasp at the contact before she begins to pull my boxers off of my legs, firmly pumping my dick in her hand once they were all the way off. I groaned as I look at her, knowing that she loves to do this to me and that I don't deserve her.
She bends, putting her little ass in the air before she tries to suck me off, but I stop her, pulling her back up to me by her shoulders. She kisses me and a mix of pineapple and strawberry fills my senses when her damp hair lands around my face like a curtain. I break the kiss in order to speak, wanting her to do what I ask.
"Get on all fours." Reagan licks her lips and then bites her lower one, but moves off of me and does as I ask, sticking her bum in the air as if we've done this before.
I almost enter her forgetting the condom and the whole reason that we were at the doctors for hours on end. I move to grab my sweatpants and get my wallet out, but Reagan stops me, telling me that it's okay before I push into her. She takes in a sharp breath of air due to the new angle and position as her hand searches for mine. I link our fingers together as I continue to move in and out of her, temporarily losing myself with every thrust I take, drowning in her and knowing that the feeling of complete freedom won't last the way that I wish it would.
I reach my hand around and begin to play with her clit while I wrap the other hand in her hair, pulling it, causing her to moan loudly before she comes undone beneath me. I release inside of her shortly after, kissing her back and telling her how much I love her even though she pisses me off.
Harry covered us after slowly turning us onto our sides, with my back to his front. I could feel him kiss my shoulder before he exhaled deeply.
"Did that hurt?"
"A little, but only because it was different. We've never done that before and I'm not used to it, but it was so good."
I yawned, feeling completely sore and relaxed, overall tired from today's events.
"Go to sleep."
"I will when you do." I turned to face him only for him to knot his eyebrows together.
"Then we're going to lie here awake."
I ignored Harry before I sat up in bed, grabbing the covers with me as I went to clean myself off in the bathroom, feeling the essence of both of us spill down my leg. When I returned, I couldn't believe my eyes as I saw his chest rise and fall evenly and his eyelashes fan against his cheeks. He was sleeping, much to his own dismay and I was happy to lay and watch him as I did this morning, hoping that his dreams would grant him the peace that the day refused.
As my eyes began to flutter shut, I was disrupted by the sound of my phone. I quickly grabbed it and opened the text message from my mother. It was a screenshot of a message that my father received from an unknown number.
For what it's worth, I'm truly sorry for any pain or frailties that I've caused within your family, but please know that your daughter is my entire world and I would never do anything to hurt her, only to protect what I know is most precious to us all. Thank you for creating my counterpart, though I know I'm not deserving of her. She is my heart, my soul, my everything and I wouldn't be so lucky to have her without the both of you.~ Harry
Hi loves! How are you all? I've missed you all loads! So sorry for the extremely late update, but I hope you all enjoyed it anyway. What did you think? Is H, being too hard on himself? What news do you think Anne has for him? And are you ready for London ;} Leave me tons of comments below please? Just because its been a while doesn't mean that I cherish your comments any less! I still very much live for them and can't wait to see what you all have to say so that I can read and reply.So please comment and if you haven't done so yet, vote and subscribe if you've enjoyed my little trilogy. Not much more left now :( as always I LOVE YOU ALL TO DEATH FOR READING and if your back at school, good luck and do well xx