May 22nd

Adie's POV

As I drive back to my house from Louis, I feel extremely nervous. When I left yesterday I went back to his house; I knew Harry wouldn't look for me there and I wasn't really sure where else to go. I have no idea what's about to happen, but I know that either way I'm not prepared for it. I haven't seen Harry since yesterday. There's a part of me that's completely terrified, because I know that once I see him and those emerald green eyes of his I'll melt. The other part of me is still so angry about all of this. I can't help but wonder if this could happen again. He didn't tell me until I basically found out and forced it out of him. What would stop him from keeping things from me again when I'm no where to be found?

As I get closer my body feels the spike in my nerves. My heart is racing, my palms are sweaty and I feel like there's butterflies the size of elephants fluttering around in my stomach. I miss him so much, but I"m so upset still. It's a scary combination.

Once I'm back at the house I feel slightly disappointed to see Harry's car in the driveway. Part of me was hoping he would be gone so I could postpone this a little longer, although I know this conversation needs to happen. I get my bag and slowly walk up to the door, repeating in my mind the little speech I came up with on the way over here. I can do this.

As I climb the front steps the front door swings open. My eyes go wide and my whole body freezes when I see Harry standing in the front door, keys in hand and his jacket pulled onto one arm. He stops as well and we just stare at each other for what feels like an eternity.

"Ads," he whispers. He swallows hard and I just stare, my mind completely wiped blank. Wasn't I going to say something? If I was I don't remember it now. He finally moves and tosses his keys inside, taking his jacket off and throwing it towards the closet. He comes outside and walks straight for me. For some reason I find this threatening and I take an involuntary step backwards, my foot slipping off the step. I tumble backwards and land on my back with a thud.

"Shit, are you okay?" Harry asks, bending down beside me. He helps me sit up and I put my hand on the back of my head where it hit the ground. I didn't hit hard, thank goodness, but it definitely hurts. Harry watches me carefully and I become extremely aware of his hand on my leg. It feels wrong somehow.

"Your hand." He takes it and I wince, not realizing the pain until he pointed out the wound. He gently brushes the debris from it and blood starts appearing above a few scrapes, but it's nothing major. He helps me to my feet and holds my wrist, since that's not harmed. I follow silently and we go into the bathroom. This feels familiar.

Harry turns on the water and gently leads my hand under it, leaning down close and making sure to get it clean. It hurts, but it doesn't bother me. The only thing I notice right now is him. I was hoping the sight of him would make want to throw a truck at him so I could just be done and move to London and not worry about any of this. But I missed him so much. The only thing I can think about now is hugging him.

"Does it hurt?" he asks quietly. His eyes find mine and I quickly look away, embarrassed that he caught me staring. I just shrug, unable to use my voice for some reason. Harry's stare seems to hold a weight on me, one that I immediately feel lifting when he looks back at my hand. He pulls it out of the water and I look at it as well.

"Maybe I should wrap it," he says, reaching for the medicine cabinet. I shake my head and take my hand back from him.

"I'm fine," I say as loudly as I can manage. He nods and we just stand there in silence, the weight of his stare on me once again as I look down at the floor. All of my confidence has diminished and whatever speech I had prepared for this moment has vanished completely. Maybe I should just forgive him.

I slowly look up at his face, our eyes locking for less than a second before I completely chicken out. I turn and walk as quickly as I can towards my bedroom. Harry follows.

"Adie." He puts his hand on my arm and I spin around to look at him. He looks scared and sad and hopeful all at the same time. "Please talk to me."

"I...I don't...." I close my eyes and take a deep breath. He kissed Ashlee. He lied. Then I found out and left. Now we need to talk about it. Pull yourself together. I nod my head a few times and open my eyes to see a very relieved looking Harry. He pulls me into his bedroom and we sit on the edge of his bed.

"Where were you?" he asks quietly. "I went to Tyler and Caroline's houses and you weren't there."

"Louis," I say simply. He looks confused for a moment as his gaze leaves mine. I knew he wouldn't look for me there.

"That's...it's not important. Look, I know you're pissed at me and you have every right to be, but you need to understand something. That night, what I did...it didn't mean anything. I was so drunk that I don't even remember it happening and you know me better than anyone. I would never do that to you, you have to believe me. I'm so sorry that I hurt you Ads, you have no idea how sorry I am."

"I know." I do. I know that he's sorry and that he would never try to hurt me. Harry isn't that kind of person, not at all.

"Okay..." he says slowly. He sounds confused, and the way he made that speech made it sound like he was expecting a huge argument. I was too, to be honest, but I don't feel angry at all anymore. Maybe going away was the right thing to do.

"You still hurt me though," I continue. "You lied to me. You should have told me."

"I know, you're right. I should have. I just wanted to believe that it wasn't true," he explains. He nervously twists his ring on his finger and I just stare at him.

In that moment I realize something. Harry would never intentionally hurt me. He has done everything for me and has more than proven that he cares about me, so why am I doing this to him? It's not the kiss that I'm upset about and it's not the lie. I know that I can trust him. I got so upset because I wanted to believe that we could make this work. I want to believe in what we have, that it can survive me being in London while Harry is here. Now I'm not so sure I believe that and it's honestly heartbreaking. I never imagined Harry and I breaking up. It's inevitable, though, and I don't want to fight with him.

"I forgive you."

His eyes snap back to mine and I try to smile. I do forgive him. It's one kiss, one time while I was basically unresponsive. I'm surprised Harry stayed at all; most seventeen year old boys wouldn't do that.

"You do?" he asks, a smile forming on his lips. I nod and put my hand over his. "Seriously? Just like that? You...you were so angry yesterday."

"I had time to think about it. I over reacted." I did over react but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt me. It kills me to think of Harry kissing another girl, literally makes my stomach turn. But I need to forget about that.

Harry looks at me quizzically. I'm not really sure what to do from here..I've never broken up with someone before.

"There's something I need to tell you," I begin quietly. He nods and turns so he has one leg up on the bed, his body facing mine. Without realizing I start twisting my ring around on my finger. "I haven't been honest with you about something."

"You didn't kiss someone too, did you?"

"What? No, of course not!" He exhales and nods his head, relaxing a little.

"Then what is it?"

He looks at me so tenderly, with so much concern and curiosity. He's hanging on my every word. I've never had someone pay such close attention to me before. When I'm speaking with Harry I feel like he's examining every inch of me, taking in every sound that leaves my mouth with such concentration you would think I was the president or something. Now that intensity is working against me. I don't want him to hear what comes next.

"I'm moving earlier to London than I originally planned," I tell him. He frowns.

"How much earlier? Are you leaving when I start school in the fall?"

I shake my head. "Earlier than that."

"What..." he looks away from me and combs his fingers through his hair. "When?"

"Two weeks," I whisper. His gaze comes back to mine and I can instantly see the shock, anger and sadness that I've caused.

"Two weeks? Like, from today?" he bellows, standing from the bed. I don't respond, just look down at my hands in my lap. I was such a coward for not telling him before. "Since when? Why didn't you tell me?"

"When we were in London I spoke to Gemma and we looked at places available in June and...your mum agrees it would be good for me to get away sooner than later."

"She agreed to this?" he asks loudly. I wince slightly and he starts pacing back and forth, shaking his head and muttering under his breath. After a few minutes I stand and out my hand on his arm. He stops abruptly and spins to face me.

"I...I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner," I apologize. My hand drops and he just stares at me. I have no idea what to do now.

"We were supposed to have a lot more time than this," he says quietly. I nod and bite my lip. It doesn't matter, anyway. "Why are you going for the summer? Gemma won't be there, anyway, what's the point? You can't go, Ads, just stay here with me."

"She's going to stay with me," I explain. He shake his head. "I can do my schoolwork from there and get used to being in the city. I just need to get away from here, Harry. You need to understand that. There's nothing left for me here."

"What about me?"

I feel my heart break in two. I love Harry, I really love him. It's scary and amazing and frustrating and exhilarating all at the same time. I'm not sure if I'll ever find someone like him again, actually I know I won't, but at this point I feel like we're holding each other back. I need to find myself and Harry needs to start being young and reckless again. I'm just tying him down and holding him back.

His green eyes bore into mine and we just stand there in silence. I don't want to do this but it's the right thing. I think.

"Maybe...maybe it'd be better for us to just..." I look down at his chest and try to figure out the words. I notice Harry start to shake his head.

"No. No, you can't do this. We'll make it work, you promised that we would try. You said the..that the distance would be good for us," he says frantically. I close my eyes to try and stop the tears before they form.

"I know I just..."

"No, you promised!" he yells. I flinch and open my eyes, an unwelcome tear rolling down my cheek. "You promised that this wouldn't mean that we would break up. Do you remember all the things we said on that balcony in London? You said we wouldn't break up, that we would make this work for us. And do you remember what I told you?"

"Please don't...don't do this," I whisper, stepping backwards. He follows me and puts his hands on either side of my face.

"I said that I would never let you go. I almost lost you once, I'm not going through that again. I'm not strong enough, Adie."

"You are," I disagree, more tears falling. He shakes his head.

"Not without you. I'm never letting you go again, do you hear me? I'm never going to stop loving you, I can't, please."

"What?" I whisper. My eyes widen and he steps closer to me, his eyes turning much softer. Did he just say love?

"Yeah. I love you," he says firmly. I shake my head but he holds it still. "Yes, I do. I love you. So much. I know I've been stupid and I know I don't deserve you, but I can't let you go. I don't care if you're here in this house with me or in London or on the other side of the world, I won't stop loving you and I'll do whatever it takes to be with you. We can make it work just please don't leave me."

"Okay," I lie. He sighs and leans his forehead against mine. I have to leave him, but he doesn't need to know that yet. I can't stand hurting him. I can't bear to watch it. "Harry?"

"Yeah," he breathes. I take a deep breath.

"I love you too," I whisper. He wipes my tears and lets out a shaky laugh. The weight of this moment sinks in while Harry holds my face between his hands, his breath against my lips. We're in love. I love him. And now I have to leave him. I don't even want to think about how hard it's going to be to say goodbye, but I know that I have to do it.

Harry's lips slowly fit to mine and I tilt my face up towards his. My hands hold his forearms, his hands still on either side of my face. It's a perfectly imperfect moment, broken but beautiful all at the same time.

---

"I got a job, did I tell you that?"

I shake my head and he smiles slightly, my hand tracing light patterns on the bare skin of his back. It's after two in the morning and we've been lying here in my bed for hours just talking. I know it's unfair to act like everything is fine, but I need this time with him. Maybe that's selfish, but I can't help it.

"Where?"

"The bakery," he says happily. I smile and laugh a little.

"The bakery? Like, the one we used to go to as kids?"

"With the amazing brownies? Yes, that bakery," he confirms with a proud smile.

"That's amazing, Harry. Those old ladies adore you," I say, laughing a little. They used to just go crazy for him, I'm sure they still do. He's always been so charming.

"Yeah, it means I won't be able to visit as much as I'd like to though," he says sadly. I nod and look at my hand, paying attention to what I'm drawing on Harry's back instead of his face. He won't need to visit me, so it doesn't really matter.

"I should probably tell everyone that I'm leaving soon. You and Louis are the only ones that know."

"Have you still not spoken to Caroline?" I shake my head. "Shit Ads, I'm sorry. That sucks."

"Yeah. It's fine, I guess you find out who your real friends are, right? Tyler is finally coming around on everything, so at least there's that." Plus, once we break up I'm sure he'll be fine again.

"The boys are going to miss you," he says, turning onto his side. He takes my hand and laces our fingers together, shifting his body closer to mine. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you, too." I smile sadly at him and he sighs, letting my hand drop onto his waist while his wraps around me. He pulls my body closer and I melt against him. I'm going to have to take advantage of these next two weeks and get as much of him as I possibly can. I'm such a coward.

"We'll make it work," he whispers, kissing he top of my head. I just nod once, not really agreeing. I don't want to lie, so whenever Harry says stuff like that I stay quiet. Horrible solution, I know.

"Goodnight, Harry," I whisper back. I hear him mumble something, but before it registers my mind drifts off into blackness.

Notes

:(
that's all.


so, im only going to do three of four more chapters in this story. its comin to an end. i dont feel like i have enough readers to make it worth it to do a sequel. writing these stories is a lot of work and i just dont have time for it. i want to focus on against all odds for the next while, so this one will be wrapping up.
i know thats not what you guys want to hear since many of you have said to do a sequel, so im really sorry :( i love this story and i love how much you guys love the story and your support has been amazing. this is just the way i feel this one should go.



please comment :) dont be too upset with me please :(