Bored and Broken

I've been back at school and living with Harry and Anne for a week now. Friday could not come quickly enough. I'm exhausted from doing homework every waking minute, trying to catch up on the work I missed. I finally finished last night and I'm ready to relax. At least the homework has been a distraction.

Harry and I have barely spoke. We go through the same routine every day; silently driving to school together, not speaking, and sometimes driving home together. If he has practice Car drives me. Then we stay in our separate rooms until dinner, where Anne asks us both questions about school and stuff. We barely speak to each other. We're so...awkward together. Even when we make eye contact it's strange. It feels like theres this uncomfortable thing hanging between us that just won't go away. It's annoying. I feel so uncomfortable around him. And I'm around him quite a bit because I live in his freaking house.

I wait outside the doors leaning against the railing of the steps for him so we can head home. He emerges with Liam and Niall. I wait patiently, but they come over and start talking to me.

"Hey, Adie," Liam says. "Ready for the weekend?" I nod and give him a smile while Harry and Niall talk about something. Liam has been really nice to me this week; I'm not sure if it's just because we're doing the English project together, though. I guess we'll find out. "Me too. Are you going to the party at Louis' tonight?"

Harry snaps his attention to me at Liam's question. "I umm...I didn't know about it. I wasn't invited," I admit shyly.

"Well, I'm inviting you," Liam says. "Bring your friends, it'll be fun. I have to go, I'll see you guys tonight." He walks down the steps to his car and Niall does the same. Harry and I stand there in silence for a minute. I don't look at him, but I can feel his eyes on me.

"Let's go," he says quietly, walking past me down the steps. I follow him to the car and we drive back to the house in silence, as usual. When we get back we both go to our rooms, but before I close my door he surprises me.

"Are you going tonight?" he asks, leaning against his door frame. I set my bag down beside the door and lean my back against the door frame facing the back of the house so I don't have to look at his face.

"I don't know. It's not really my thing." I pick at my nail polish and wait for him to respond.

"Well if you want to go with me that's fine. I'm driving there. You should invite Tyler and...what's the other one? The blond girl?"

"Caroline. I'll umm...I'll let you know." He nods and we both go into our respective rooms. Well I think that's the longest conversation I've had with him. I take out my phone and immediately call Caroline. I know she'll want to go. She answers on the first ring.

"What's up?" she chirps. "Miss me already?"

"Do you want to go to a party tonight?"

"I'm sorry, I don't think I heard that right. Did you just ask me if I want to go to a party? As in you're going too?"

I laugh and roll my eyes. "Yes, Car. Do you want to? It's at Louis Tomlinson's house."

"Holy shit!" she yells, making me wince and hold the phone a little further from my ear. "Yes! We are so there! Okay, you need to look hot. Remember those high-waisted jeans I made you buy? Wear those. And a crop. you have two or three, right?"

I don't usually wear suggestive clothing; Caroline makes me buy it sometimes 'just in case.' Just in case what? "Yeah. Which one?"

"The red one with the long sleeves. Oh and wear heels."

"Do I have to?" I wine.

"Yes. Louis' parties are intense. You need to go all out. Okay, I'll meet you there! I'll probably just walk. How are you getting there?"

"Harry said he would drive me."

"You're talking to him?"

"He offered. Okay, I'll see you later."

"Curl your hair!" she shouts as I hang up the phone. I laugh and shake my head. She's too much sometimes. I call Tyler next as I search for the outfit Car told me to wear.

"Hey there," he says.

"Well hello. Would you believe me if I told you I'm going to a party at Louis' house tonight?"

"Tomlinson?"

"Mhmm."

He lets out a nervous laugh. "Why?"

"Liam invited me. Do you want to go? Car is coming."

"Are you kidding? If you're going I have to go so I can keep an eye on you. Those parties get pretty crazy, Adie. Why are you going? You hate that stuff."

"I don't know. I just feel like it."

He laughs and starts teasing. "You like Liam don't you?"

"Are you coming or not?" I ask, avoiding the question. He agrees and says he'll meet me there. I head to the lay my clothes out and decide to draw for a while; we won't be leaving for a while I think. I have some time. I draw for an hour or two and jump when Harry enters my room suddenly.

"Harry, you scared me," I breathe, putting my hand to my chest. He smiles slightly and opens the door the rest of the way. Wow. That's the first time he's smiled at me. It's so cute.

"Sorry. Mum isn't going to be home for dinner so what do you want? I was going to order Chinese."

"Yeah, that sounds good," I agree.

"What do you want?"

"Umm...orange chicken I guess."

"Okay." With that he walks back out, but he leaves my door open. Maybe going to this party with him will break the ice between us a little bit. I don't know why he's so weird around me; I've seen him at school, he's like the least socially awkward person I've ever seen. Except with me apparently. When I hear the a knock on the front door I assume it's the chinese food, so I make my way to the kitchen, Harry is sitting on the couch with all the food on the coffee table. He hears me walking and turns his head.

"Hey, foods here. Come sit." He pats the couch next to him and I walk over slowly, confused by his sudden friendliness. He hasn't been unpleasant to me, but he hasn't been friendly either. I sit about a foot away from him and open the container with my chicken in it. I scoop some of the rice into the same one and sit back with it so I can eat. We sit in silence for a minute or two.

"So, you and Liam?" Harry asks, putting more food in his mouth. I look over at him with a confused expression. He raises his eyebrows expectantly.

"What do you mean?"

"You guys spend a lot of time together."

"Yeah, we're partners for that assignment," I remind him yet again. He nods and smirks as he looks away from me. "What?"

"Nothing. Just seems like you're more friendly than just partners. He talks about you a lot."

My face goes slightly red when he says that. I'm not sure what to say. "Does he?"

"Yep. He keeps telling us how nice you are." He sits forward and exchanges his pork for chicken. "I think he forgets that I already know you."

"He knows we live together."

"That's not what I meant." Oh.

"Right. That was...a long time ago," I say carefully. He nods.

"Yeah. I haven't changed very much, though. Doesn't seem like you have either."

So now he's acknowledging our childhood friendship? I don't understand this conversation. I put a bunch of food in my mouth so I don't have to say anything. He chuckles to himself and sets his food on the coffee table, then gets up and sits down right next to me with about an inch separating us.

"We had fun when we were kids," he says, arm against the back of the couch and body turned slightly in my direction. He leans the side of his head against his hand and stares intently at me face. "Do you remember?"

"Yes." Of course I remember. We were inseparable. "You had straight hair back then."

He laughs softly. "Yeah, it got curly when I got older. Weird, right?" I nod and my heart starts to beat a little fast from a combination of his proximity and the way he's staring at me. "Your hair is the same," he comments. My hair has always been long and it's always been wavy. It's boring.

"Yeah. I guess I didn't change much." I take my chances and look up at his face, holding my breath when I realize how close he actually is. His eyes are a startling shade of green and he's smirking at me. It's adorable. He's...kind of beautiful.

"I thought maybe you forgot about me," he says quietly. "You've been acting like you don't know me at all."

"I umm..it was a long time ago. We have different friends now."

"Well, not anymore," he says. "Besides, you probably know me better than they do."

I blink a few times at his comment. How could I know him better? It's been eight years since we last spoke. He spends all of his time with them.

"I'm sure you've changed a bit," I say quietly. He shakes his head slightly.

"Not really. Have you?"

I shrug my shoulders and try to look away from his eyes, but I can't. They're mesmerizing. "I don't know."

"I don't think you have," he says.

"How would you know that?"

"You don't think I've noticed you? We may not have spoken much since we started high school, but I always noticed you. Tyler also talks about you quite a bit. You're the same as the little girl that used to run around my house in her underwear."

My face burns red and I finally look away from him. He laughs at his own joke and picks up a container of food again. We eat in silence for a few minutes.

"Does it bother you that I live here now?" I ask bravely. I turn to see him smiling warmly at me.

"Not at all."

I nod and return his smile before going back to my food. Well, that's a good sign I guess. So I guess we're talking now? Actually talking? Not just the necessary food and driving conversations that go with being in the same house. It's nice. After we finish eating I offer to clean up. Harry tells me he's going to get ready and That we'll leave here at around 9:30. It's a bit early, but he says whenever Louis has parties he gets there early. To help set up? How much preparation could a part take? I go to my bedroom and grimace at the outfit on my bed, heading for the bathroom to curl my hair just as Caroline ordered. I curl it into big loose curls. I have a lot of hair and it's quite long, so that takes a while. Then I start on my makeup, deciding to go for a bolder look tonight. I put a line of black eyeliner completely around my eyes instead of just a thin line along the top like usually do. I put on my mascara and make my eyelashes thicker than usual.

I take a step back and look at my appearance. It's not often when I spend this much time on my hair and make up. I actually like the way I look. I smile to myself and walk back out to my room to check my phone. Car sent me a picture of her outfit, of course. Ty texted to make sure I was still planning on going. Why is he being so weird about this!

After my actual conversation with Harry I'm feeling a bit more confident about myself. Maybe I could have fun at one of these things. I put on my clothes and decide to wear some boots with a lower heel; still abiding by Car's rules but my feet wouldn't hurt as much in these ones. I take a satisfied look at myself in the mirror and knock on Harry's door. I open it slowly when he answers and my face goes red when I see him sitting on the edge of his bed without a shirt on.

"Sorry, I was just wondering when you wanted to go?" I ask, trying desperately not to stare. He lifts his eyes from his phone and does a double take when he sees me. I start feeling slightly insecure about the section of my stomach that's exposed. He looks surprised.

"Umm...sorry, what did you say?" he asks, cheeks slightly flushed.

"When did you want to leave?" I ask again. He stands and runs his hand through his hair as he walks to his closet.

"Soon. Are you umm...you ready?" he asks, looking me up and down as he pulls a shirt out. He's dressed in black skinny jeans with a rip on one knee. As he slides his arms into his sleeves on I get sight of a bunch of tattoos on his chest and left arm. I nod and he does up the buttons on his shirt. It's a darker red plaid shirt that I see him wear quite a bit. He leaves the top few buttons undone, revealing some of his ink. I never noticed it before. His body is incredible.

I snap out of it when I realize I'm staring at him and he asked me a question. He smirks at me and walks to his bed to get his phone.

"Uh yeah. I'm ready," I answer finally, mentally face-palming myself.

"Then let's go," he says, walking towards me. We both put coats on and go to his car. I text Car to tell her I'm on my way there, to which she frantically responds saying she's not ready yet. Ty said he'd be there at around ten, so I'll just wait for him to get there. We pull up to Louis' house just after 9:30. There's a few other cars here, but it's clear the party hasn't started yet. When we get inside We're immediately greeted by Niall.

"You came!" he says, hugging me. I'm a little shocked by the action since Niall hasn't really talked to me before. Why would he care if I'm here. "Haz, nice date," he says, punching his arm. Harry swats him away.

"If she's anyone's date she's Liam's." It could just be me, but he sounds a little annoyed. As if on cue, Liam appears from somewhere, smiling when he sees me. He also hugs me and does another classic guy handshake with Harry. Do all guys just automatically know how to do that?

"Glad you guys are here," he says, smiling at me. I blush and give him a shy smile. "Come on, we're in the kitchen. Everything's ready so we're just hanging out before people start showing up." I look at Harry and he gives me a slight smile before following the boys through the house. I follow as well, suddenly wondering why I agreed to this. I don't know these people. When we get to the kitchen Louis greets us, winking at me. He's kind of weird. Zayn is sitting at the table with a girl, who they introduce as Perrie. I don't think she goes to our school; I've never seen her before. I decide to sit with them.

"So you're Adison, right?" Zayn asks.

"Adie," I say, smiling at both of them. Perrie smiles and points to my chest.

"I love your top, Adie. You look amazing."

"Thanks." I blush and look around nervously. Zayn's right arm is covered in tattoos. It's sort of off-putting, but he looks nice enough. He's not as rowdy as the others. "Are you two dating?" I ask, pointing between them. Zayn smiles and puts his arm around Perrie.

"Six months now."

"Wow." I'm not sure what else to say.

"Liam told me you like to draw," Zayn continues.

"Yeah, I mostly sketch but I like to paint as well."

"What do you draw?"

I shrug. "Anything, really. Do you like to draw?"

He nods. "Art is my favourite class. I don't think Ms. Walsh likes me very much, though."

I laugh. "She doesn't like too many people."

"What are we talking about?" Liam asks, sitting next to me and putting his arm on the back of my chair. My eyes scan the room as I look at him and stop on Harry, who's staring at Liam. His eyes move to me and he quickly looks away and takes a drink from a red plastic cup. Zayn, Perrie and Liam talk casually while I just listen. It's clear to me that these people spend a lot of time together. They're so comfortable; it reminds me of my friends. After a while people start to show up. The music gets ten times louder and everyone disperses among the crowd.

"Do you want a drink?" Liam shouts to me. I shake my head, no and he smiles and takes my hand. "Come on, one won't hurt," he says, smiling and leading me to the kitchen.

"I guess just one," I agree. He mixes something for me and my face crinkles when I taste it. I don't like alcohol. He laughs and stands a little closer to me.

"You don't drink much do you?" I shake my head and he laughs again. "That's cool. If you don't want to, that's fine."

"I'm okay," I smile, taking another sip.

"Adie!" I turn and see Tyler pushing his way through the crowd holding Caroline's hand. Liam puts some more distance between us as they get closer, but leans against the counter next to me still quite close. "There you are. This place is insane." He looks at the red cup in my hands and frowns. "What is that?"

"A drink."

He takes it from me and takes a sip. "There's alcohol in this. You're drinking?" I shrug and he hesitantly gives it back to me. Caroline makes herself a drink and downs half os it. She likes going to this kind of stuff and she's quite a bit more experienced than I am.

"Want a beer?" Liam offers Tyler. "They're in the fridge, help yourself."

"Nah, I'm good. I'm driving." Tyler gives me a weird look and I take another sip of my drink. Liam puts his hand on my back and leans down to speak into my ear.

"I'm going to go see if beer pong is free now." I nod okay and he makes his way through the crowd. Car grabs my hand and jumps excitedly.

"He's so into you!" she squeals. "He's so hot! You're so lucky!"

I smile and she starts gushing about how cute it would be if I dated him. I zone out and start to wonder what my mom would think of all this. I never showed interest in it before so it was never an issue, but I wonder if she would let me come to a party like this. Would she be mad if she knew I was drinking? The thought makes me feel guilty and a little sick, so I set my cup down behind me. Car continues to babble about Liam and then moves on to Collin, her English partner. Apparently he's her new obsession. After a while she sees him and says she's going to talk to him. Tyler finally speaks.

"Are you okay?" he asks. "You look pale."

"I'm okay." I think. I suddenly feel weird about being here and that I didn't think about my mom when I agreed to come. I should have. She wouldn't want this. "I'm going to go find a bathroom." He nods and I make my way through the house. when I find a bathroom I wait for a minute for the person to finish, then go in and lock the door. What am I doing here? I stare at myself in the mirror and give myself a silent pep talk to help make it through the rest of the night. After a minute someone pounds on the door. I take a deep breath and walk out.

"Take long enough," an annoying voice shouts. "Oh my god! You're orphan girl!"

Ouch. "What do you wantt?" I ask rudely. She rolls her eyes and leans against the wall to support her drunk self.

"You don't belong here," she says, backing into the bathroom. She slams the door shut and I wince a little. Well thanks for that. I make my through the crowd and jump when Car finds me and pulls me to the area where people are dancing. I start moving my body to the music, trying to have a good time. When I actually get thirsty I go back to the kitchen. Ty is still there, talking so some girl.

"There you are!" he shouts when he sees me. "I was getting worried. What happened?"

"Nothing I was dancing," I inform him. The girl glares at me and I our myself a drink without adding alcohol. "I'm going to go find Caroline!" I shout to him. He nods and I go back in to the sea of people. Car isn't where I left her, so after a few minutes of searching I sit on the stairway to get away from all the people. After a minute one of the seniors sits on the step below me.

"Well you're new to these parties," he says, alcohol strong on his breath. I nod and he takes a sip of his drink. "I'm Drew. What's your name, beautiful?"

I try not to roll my eyes at his lame attempt. "Adison."

"Adison. I like that." He moves up to sit on the step beside me and leans in closer to me. I lean away but stop against the wall. "You're cute," he says, smiling and leaning in closer. I put my hands on his chest to push him back.

"Don't." I push him away, but he keeps trying. "Stop it, I said no." He just laughs and keeps trying.

"Adison?" I turn my head to see a very angry looking Harry. He storms up in front of us and pulls Drew up by his shirt. "Back off, asshole," he says in his face.

"Lighten up, Styles. You can have your turn when I'm done with her."

"You're disgusting," he spits, shoving him down the steps. Drew stumbles a bit and walks off. "Are you okay?" he asks, sitting beside me. I nod and take a shaky breath. I don't want to be here anymore.

"I think I might get Ty to bring me home." I pull out my phone but he puts his hand over mine.

"Don't be ridiculous. This party sucks, anyway. I'll take you home."

"You don't have to, Harry. It's fine."

"I want to." He stands and holds his hand out to me, pulling me strongly through the crowd towards the front door. When we're almost there a girl throws her arms around his neck.

"Where you going baby?" she slurs. It's the same girl from the bathroom. She looks at me and instantly scowls, then her mouth drops open when she sees Harry holding my hand. I try to pull it away but Harry just holds on tighter.

"Get off, Courtney," Harry says, clearly annoyed.

"You're leaving? With her?" She glares at me then turns back to Harry with lust in her eyes. Oh. "I was hoping we could umm..hang out."

"Not happening, Courtney," he says forcefully, using his free hand to untangle herself from him. "Good bye."

"She probably hasn't even kissed anyone. I can do much more for you," she says seductively, running her finger along his jawline. My stomach twists. He gently brings her hand away from his face.

"Not happening," he reiterates. Then he tugs me the rest of the way to the door. We're silent until we get home. I practically run to my bedroom. Harry stops me right before I get there.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, Harry. Thanks for taking me home. Sorry you had to leave."

"Don't worry about it." He gives me a small smile.

"Goodnight, Harry." I shut my door and collapse in tears on my bed. What was I thinking?

Notes

so i wanted to post this really qucik before i leave, sorry if theres mistakes!!! let me know what you think please:)

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