Harry's POV

After driving around town for two hours, I finally head back to my house. I was trying to find a way to remember what happened at the party on the weekend, but I just can't. It's a complete black space in my memory somehow. I want to be able to say that Ashlee was lying and I never did something so horrible to Adie, but how can I argue when I have no clue what happened?

I would feel so terrible if it is true. How could I do that to Adie? She's at home distraught over her mother's death and I go out, get drunk and make out with someone who has already screwed her over once. That would make me the biggest asshole on the planet. I don't know what I would do if this is true and Adie breaks up with me for it. We haven't been together long, but I can't picture my life without her. It would kill me if she ended things, I need her more than I realized. Now that I'm scared I might lose her I realize how much I actually love her. How am I supposed to face her now that I know I might have betrayed her?

My anxiety increases exponentially as I walk down the hall towards her bedroom. She'll probably be able to tell right away that something is wrong with me. She always can. When I get into her room I feel really confused when I don't see her lying on her bed like she usually is. After finding her bathroom and closet empty, I'm officially puzzled.

"Harry!"

I turn and peer through my door, smiling when I see her leaning forward and looking through the open doorway. She's on my bed. That's new. I walk over and lay beside her.

"What's that?" I ask, pointing to the magazine in front of her.

"Just this thing for an art institute in London," she says, shrugging.

Art institute? As in school? There? She's leaving?

"Relax, I'm not going anywhere," she says, laughing a little. I smile up at her.

"What did the principal say today?"

She shrugs again. "I can't go back to school now. I missed too much, but I can do the classes online and finish the term. If I finish by august then I can rejoin the class in the fall and graduate with everyone."

"Well that's good news." It's disappointing that she can't come back to school, but I didn't think she would be able to anyway. At least she can come back next year. She nods and bites her lip; I can tell there's something else on her mind. "Ads...what aren't you telling me?"

She sets the brochure down beside her and turns so she's facing me. "Principal Hayes said that Mrs. Campbell sent some of my art work to to the University of the Arts in London. They said that they want me to go there when I'm done high school."

"Wow, that's amazing!"

"I can't believe it. I mean, I never thought that I would be able to use this for a career, you know? They said that with my level of ability I could go into any kind of artistic, fashion, graphic, or interior design and that they would likely accept me into any of those programs. Or I could do a visual arts and design double major and have tons of careers to choose from. I would have my choice of my dream career."

She must be really excited about this, because she hasn't talked this much in the last month combined.

"That's incredible, Ads," I say proudly, putting my hand on hers. "I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks." She smiles and looks down at her lap, her eyes now nervous. There's something else.

"What?" I ask quietly. She sighs and doesn't look at me while she explains, continuing more quietly than before.

"Principal Hayes said they're really eager to have me. They want me to finish the rest of school online so I can get a head start and do some preliminary classes next year starting in January so I know which direction I'd want to go in."

"Hold on." I sit up and shake my head a bit. This is a lot to process. "They want you next year? But you haven't graduated."

"I could finish this year and next year online by december and get my diploma early," she explains. "Then go to London in the January and start taking some classes there to see which area I'd want to be in."

"So you'd be moving to London next year?"

"Maybe?" she says, shrugging. "I don't know, it's a lot to think about. It's just such an amazing opportunity, and they only do this once every few years when they find someone they really want."

Moving to London. Not coming back to school...ever. Moving to London.

"This is a lot to process," I say quietly, running my hands through my hair. I look over at her and she just stares back, waiting for me to say something. Does she want me to say I'm okay with it? That I think she should go? I don't want her moving to fucking London. Obviously I don't want to hold her back if she really wants it, but I'm not going to sit here and be excited about the thought of her leaving me. London is like...three hours from here. That's really far.

"I haven't decided," she says softly. "I don't even know if I'll be able to go. It would be so hard to leave you and Anne. But your mum said she would talk to Gemma and see if maybe her and I could live together or something."

"She thinks you should go?" I ask. Adie nods once.

"She said maybe a change of scenery would be good for me."

"Maybe."

We sit in silence for a few minutes and I just stare at the wall ahead of me, trying to wrap my brain around everything. All this shit with Ashlee and now Adie is telling me she might be leaving in less than a year. My brain is going into overdrive.

"Don't look so panicked," she says lightly, putting her hand on my arm. I close my eyes and lay down on my back. When I open them again I put my arm out so she can lay down beside me, which she does.

"I'm happy for you," I whisper, kissing the top of her head.

"Really?" she asks nervously.

"Of course. I'm really proud of you. It's amazing that someone recognizes how talented you are."

"I don't know what I should do," she says, playing with the string of my hoodie. "I have to let them know in two weeks before they give the spot to this other girl they've had their eye on."

"Two weeks?" I croak. She nods. Damn, this sucks. The selfish part of me wants to tell her it's a bad idea and she shouldn't rush this, but I know that would be wrong. I haven't seen her excited like this in almost two months, so this is clearly huge for her. What kind of person would I be if I didn't encourage her to chase her dreams? If someone handed mine to me, I would take it in a heartbeat.

"Your mum said we should go visit this weekend," she continues. "She wants to visit Gemma and take a tour of the campus so I can get a feel for it. She thinks it would help to see the city and the school and stuff. If I can't see myself living there, then I won't go."

"That makes sense. This weekend?"

"Yeah." She looks up at me. "Will you come with?"

"Of course," I agree, smiling down at her. She smiles and brings her hand up to brush through my hair. Damn, I want to kiss her. I haven't kissed her in what feels like years.

"What are you thinking about?" she asks quietly. My face flushes slightly.

"Nothing."

"You're lying."

"No," I argue, smiling. She laughs lightly and my heart races at the sound, one that I don't get to hear anymore.

"Tell me," she requests. I sigh and turn onto my side, keeping my one arm under her head while my fee hand reaches for hers. I lace our fingers together and move my face slightly closer.

"Can I kiss you?" I whisper. Her eyes go wide for a second before she smiles at me. After an impossibly long minute she nods her head once. I smile as well and move closer slowly. When my lips meet hers I feel all of my stress fade away. It's a soft kiss, short, sweet, gently. But it's perfect.

"I missed that," I whisper, wrapping my arm around her.

"Me too."

---

We decided we'd leave for London early Friday morning so we'd have a good amount of time there to do all the things my mum has planned. She basically wants Adie to experience as much of London as possible in about three days time. We left this morning at 5 am, so I was obviously hoping to sleep for most of the drive. That hasn't exactly happened.

We're an hour away from London and my mind is racing. My body is turned so my right leg is up on the seat, Adie is in the seat beside me with her head resting on my leg while she sleeps soundly. I gently smooth my hand over hair and watch her sleep. I'm so excited for her, that she has this incredible opportunity. At the same time, I don't want her to go. I always assumed that we would graduate together, that we'd end up both moving to London or somewhere else to go to university and we'd just always be together. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that that would work out. Being there for Adie over the last few weeks has just solidified for me how much I want and need to be with her. Most people don't find the person they're going to be with forever when they're in high school, but I know that I did.

My mum thinks this is an amazing opportunity, of course, and that she'd be foolish to pass it up. She didn't say that to Adie, but she's been very encouraging about everything. She definitely wants her to get away. The problem is, I'm not sure if she wants Adie to get away from Holmes Chapel or away from me.

"Harry, aren't you going to sleep at all?" Mum asks quietly. She has always been a morning person, so driving a long way this early isn't a problem for her.

"I tried," I respond, not looking up from Adie's face. "I couldn't."

I hear her sigh but she doesn't say anything else. She knows exactly why I couldn't sleep, but apparently she doesn't want to address it. She thinks Adie should go. I want her to stay. We'll never agree.

I don't want to be this selfish. I want to be able to be a big enough person to say that Adie's success and happiness is the most important thing to me, no matter what happens to our relationship or to me. Her happiness should be the only thing that matters because I love her. But I'm selfish. I want to be with her. I want to be the reason she's happy. Does that make me a bad person? I want to be with the girl that I love. Is that so bad?

"I can practically hear you thinking," mum says suddenly. I look at her in the rearview mirror. "This is a good thing for her, Harry. You know that, right?"

"Of course I do," I bite back, trying not to get angry. I'm not fucking stupid, I'm aware that this is amazing for her.

"She needs to get away from everything. She needs to figure out who she is away from the life her mother left for her."

"Mum, I get it. I know that. It still sucks."

"It would be strange not having her around anymore. She hasn't been living with us that long, but she feels like part of the family."

"She'd be seventeen and moving to London alone, Mum. Is that okay with you?"

"She'd be living with Gemma, Harry. I'm not insane, I wouldn't let her live here all by herself."

"Does Gem want Adie to live with her?"

"She was actually really excited about it," mum says, a smile on her face. Damn it. That was my out. "She was going to live with a few friends, but she said there would be a lo of drama and all that, so she'd rather live with Adison. Plus, she doesn't want Adie living alone either, she wants to help her out."

"Of course she does," I mutter under my breath, my eyes floating back down to Adie's face. Her hair is in a braid, like it normally is. She's wearing black leggings with a light blue t-shirt, the same clothes she was wearing the day I found her on the beach. I love how...simple she is. In terms of the clothes she wears and stuff like that. She doesn't put an hour every morning into making herself look like a different person. She's just Adie and she's perfect.

I wonder what she would do if I told her that I love her. Would it freak her out? Would she get scared and end things? Would she be happy and say it back? The thought of hearing those words leave her mouth makes my heart race. But she probably hasn't been thinking about all of that a lot lately, so she probably isn't in the same place that I am. I can't expect her to be, either. But I want to tell her.

She starts to stir on my lap, rubbing her eye gently with her one hand. I rub the top of her back gently and she blinks a few times before looking up at me.

"Hi," she says softly, shuffling up on the seat she her head is higher on my lap.

"How did you sleep?" I ask quietly, running my fingers lightly across the top of her back. She reaches for my free hand.

"My neck hurts."

I laugh softly. "I believe it."

"How close are we?"

"About twenty minutes from the hotel," mum says. Adie breathes deeply once before slowly sitting upright, rubbing her neck with her hand.

"Did you sleep?" she asks me. I shrug.

"A little."

I feel my mum look at me in the mirror. She knows I'm lying, but I don't want Adie to know how much all of this is worrying me. There are so many reasons and my mind is going in circles, but I just need to keep that from her for a while. After a few minutes of stretching Adie lays her head back down on my lap, laying on her back so she can look up at me. I'm surprised she's being this way around my mum. Maybe she doesn't care anymore. Maybe they talked about it without me.

"Are you okay?" she asks. Of course she can tell that I'm not.

"Yeah," I lie. She furrows her eyebrows at me. "What?"

"You're not a good liar."

I laugh and shake my head. "I'm fine."

"Okay well, when you're ready to tell me you just let me know."

"Someone's sassy today." I laugh a little and poke her stomach. She giggles and bats my hand away. "Are you excited to see the school?"

"I'm excited to see everything. I've never been to London before."

"Really?"

"My mum was always too busy to take me," she says, looking down at her hands. Shit. Shit shit shit shi- "I never really wanted to go before, anyway. Now it seems really exciting. I never really pictured myself in a big city, but now it feels like it would be so much fun."

She's okay with talking about her mother?

"Are you excited to see Gemma?" she asks me when I don't respond. I shake myself out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, it's been a while."

"She texted me last night, she really wants to see you. I think she might have some big news but she didn't say what."

"We're here," mum says suddenly. Adie sits up from my lap and looks out the windshield between the front seats. "Welcome to London, Adie."

Notes

omggggg so much shit happeneing

THANKS for all the comments and stuff last time :) lovin that you guys are so dedicated ;) seriously it makes my day.
also, for hte comments...from now on just saying 'update!' isnt going to count :P you have to actually say something about the story!!!

so we're at 49 votes and 164 comments. for the next update:
5 votes or 8 comments.

thank you so much for reading guys :) im not sure, but when this story ends there will probably be a sequel. i might have a way to do it now

keep voting and subscribing!!!

and question time
should harry tell adie he loves her?
should adie move to london?
what does anne think about them now?
how is harry going to address his little issue?

some prompts for your comments ;)