Christmas Eve

I refuse to open my eyes when I wake up, feeling tired still after a restless night of sleep. I try to roll onto my side, groaning when I feel something heavy draped across my back. What the...

Harry. Of course it is. Every night since last weekend he asks me to sleep in his room, or if he can sleep with me in mine. Anne has been around a little more, but still not much. She does, however, sleep at home now. So, it would be tricky to do it without her knowing. Despite my protests and what I thought was convincing him it was a bad idea, I usually wake up at some point during the night to find him sneaking in here. Usually he wakes me up before a normal hour, his heavy arm draped across me or a leg wrapped around me prohibiting my movement. If he wasn't so cute when he's sleeping it would be really annoying.

I turn my head to face the other way, smiling at the sight of his sleeping face. His curls are messy and he looks irritated for some reason. This boy is nothing but trouble. I haven't told him this, but Liam has called me at least three times every day since Sunday. Now it's Thursday, also known as Christmas Eve. I haven't answered and I also haven't read any of his text messages. I've been in a kind of bubble with Harry since the weekend, baking Christmas goodies, watching movies, swimming. We've been very lazy with our first week off of school, just spending time together. It's been extremely fun for me. Neither of us have told anyone, since we still haven't decided what to do about this. We aren't together and we haven't talked about what to do since Saturday when he told me that Anne doesn't approve.

I still don't know how I feel about Harry's proposal. Lying to Anne? Does that mean we have to lie to everyone else, too? Or just her. Lying to Anne is one thing, but to lie to all of my friends would make me feel horrible about myself. Plus, Harry makes me really happy. I don't want to have to hide that.

I check my alarm clock, instantly nervous to see that it reads 9 am. That means Anne will be up already...

"Harry," I whisper, putting my hand on his arm. "Harry," I repeat, voice louder this time. I shake his arm and his eyebrows pull together more, scowling with his eyes closed. I giggle at the expression and put my hand against his cheek. He sighs and his face slowly transforms to a lazy smile. His eyes open slowly and incompletely, still tired.

"Can I help you with something?" he asks, voice deep and raspy. His voice is different when he wakes up. Its lower and raspier. I love it.

"How long have you been here? It's 9 already, your mum probably knows you're here."

He chuckles and closes his eyes again. Seriously? I know he's not as concerned about this as me, but he could at least pretend to care if we get caught.

"Don't worry, Ads. I didn't come in until after she left for work."

I breathe a sigh of relief and struggle to get out from under his arm. This is the routine every time he's in here; I refuse to interact with him until I've brushed my teeth. It's my rule. I skip to the bathroom and brush my teeth and rinse my mouth with some minty liquid, making sure all traces of morning breath have vanished. I would fix my hair but...I don't really care about that. I run back into the bedroom and jump onto the bed, landing on his back. He groans.

"What are you doing?"

"It's time to wake up," I chirp, sitting up and straddling his back. I put my hands on either side of his body and shake the bed, bouncing his large body up and down slightly. My weight is nothing compared to his, so it doesn't do much but it's enough to annoy him.

"Adie, it's the holidays. Do you know what that means?"

I stop and sit back, resting my hands on his back and waiting for his explanation. "What does that mean?"

"It means I get to sleep in. You're kind of ruining that."

"You're the one who invaded my bed and broke my rule yet again. That means I get to do what I want and I want you to wake up."

"Someone's a spoiled brat." I whack his back playfully and he just laughs.

"I'm serious. You're being boring." He just keeps his eyes shut and tucks his hands under the pillow he's using. I roll my eyes and lay down on his back, resting my chin on his shoulder and waiting for him to comply with my demands.

"You weigh about as much as a paperclip, Ads. This isn't doing much. Well, that's not completely true. If anything it's turning me on." A smirk creeps onto his face and he opens his eyes to see my reaction. I roll my eyes and roll off of him.

"Pervert." I roll all the way to the far edge of the bed and lay on my back, staring up at the ceiling. Well if he's going to be boring I might as well have my own fun. Teasing would be the way to go.

I slowly stretch my arms over my head, lifting my tshirt to just below my bra in the process. I bend one of my legs slightly, raising it above the other. I turn my head to look at him, biting my cheek to hold back a smile when I see the expression on his face. He looks quite shocked as his eyes travel up my legs, to my exposed stomach, pausing there before slowly going up to my face. I don't act like this very much...I'm kind of shy I guess. Harry brings out a more playful side of me, though. When his eyes finally make their way to my own, I raise my eyebrows, trying to look disappointed. I lift a hand and shake one finger at him.

"It's rude of you to stare," I scold quietly. His expressions changes from surprise to amusement as he lifts his head, resting it on his hand and shifting to lay on his side.

"If you don't want me to stare then you shouldn't be so damn sexy."

I shrug. "Sorry, that's not something I can help."

"I've noticed." He reaches out to my, taking my hand and trying to tug me towards him. "Come here." I pull my hand away and get closer to the edge.

"No, don't let me keep you from sleeping."

"Trust me, I'm wide awake now." He reaches out again but I hold my ground, giggling as he attempts to get me closer to him. "Ads, quit teasing me," he whines.

I laugh and continue to fight against him. Harry huffs in frustration and throws the blanket back, revealing that he's only wearing boxers, as usual. He lifts his body and crawls over to me, leaving me nowhere to escape to. He puts his hands on my hips and lifts me a little, placing me roughly in the middle of my bed. He takes my hands and pins them down over my head with one hand while the other trails lightly down my arm, across my collarbone and slowly down the middle of my chest between my breasts. I bite my lip and try to control my breathing.

"You're being quite the tease this morning, aren't you?"

I shrug and he continues to trace a path down the centre of my abdomen, now raising goosebumps on my stomach. He watches my eyes carefully as he traces the sensitive skin along the top of my boxers. My heart rate continues to rise, my bottom lip still taken between my teeth. He leans his face down closer to mine.

"I know how to be a tease, too."

He gives me a sexy smile and inserts his finger slightly into my shorts, tracing along the top of my panties. I squirm a little in his hold and he leans down to leave wet kisses along my neck, starting under my jawline and slowly moving lower. When he gets to the collar of my shirt he skips my chest, finally releasing his hold on my hands while he kisses slowly down the middle of my stomach. I'm not sure what to do with my hands at this point, but the tension Harry is creating in my lower areas is enough to make me crazy. He continues his teasing, pressing his lips softly against the skin all along the top of my shorts.

I'm not stupid; I know that Harry has been a lot farther than we've gone. Give me a break, it's only been a week. I'm not quite ready for all of that yet. I've debated though...in the heat of the moment, I've almost just told him to take me. He drives me insane sometimes. I didn't really get what the big deal with kissing was; why people get so out of breath and flustered. Now I definitely do. Harry kissing me...any kind of contact between us stirs something inside me that I've never experienced before. It's amazing, but also frustrating. I've basically been horny for a week..it's annoying.

He moves further down and I stiffen, knowing where he wants to go. He lifts his face and slides his body along mine, bringing his face back up to my own. I can feel that he's as turned on as I am, minimal fabric from our sleepwear making it quite obvious.

"You've made you point," I surrender breathlessly. "Now kiss me."

He smiles and quickly attaches his lips to mine, my hands going to his sides. I slowly trail them up his sides, over his chest and to the back of his neck, knotting one set of fingers into his hair and the other cupping his cheek. He presses his body further into mine as his tongue pushes into my mouth. I accept him eagerly and one of his hands slides under my back, pushing me tighter against him. His other hand explores my exposed skin, occasionally venturing to my hip and over my shorts. I lift my right leg and wrap it around one of his, pulling myself closer. I feel desperate for him, like I can never get enough or get close enough.

I can feel Harry feeling as needy as I do, his kissing becoming sloppier with every passing moment. Every touch is more desperate, more aggressive. Doesn't take long for us to get caught up in our kissing, swept away by the passion behind every touch. He abruptly pulls back and leans his forehead against mine. Both of us are breathing heavy and my mind feels fuzzy.

"Everything okay?" I ask, unable to speak above a whisper. He continues to try to catch his breath before answering.

"I think you're gonna kill me," he replies, laughing a little. "Ads I don't...I don't want to push you too far," he continues, lifting his head and gazing down into my eyes. "What do you want me to do?"

I know what he means. We haven't really talked about what I want, how far I want to go with him. He just never tries to take it further than making out. I like that he's respecting my lack of experience, my hesitance towards letting him take this further. I do want more...I'm just insanely nervous. I have no idea what I'm doing.

"Can I ask you something?" He nods and I look down at his tattoos as I continue. "What have you...how far have you gone?" I ask nervously, scared completely for the answer.

He stares at me with a nervous expression, looking between my eyes and then away from me.

"I had a feeling this conversation was coming." He sighs and kisses me softly before rolling off of me, taking me with him so that I'm half laying on him while he lies on his back. I lean my head on my hand so I can look at him. He takes my other one and laces our fingers together over his stomach.

"You don't have to tell me..." I trail. I really do want to know, but I can't force him to talk about it if he doesn't want to. Everything inside of me is pleading that he hasn't slept with Courtney. I think I would actually vomit.

"It's fine." He gives me a reassuring smile before looking down at our hands. "Before I tell you this, you should just know that I'm not proud of it. If I could take it back, I would. I wish I would have waited for you." I nod my head slightly, now knowing that he's definitely had sex before. Great.

"Also, you can't tell Gemma this. She would kill me." I furrow my eyebrows in confusion and he gets a nervous look on his face. "I sort of lost my virginity to one of her friends."

My mouth drops open and I stare at him while he focuses completely on our hands. Gemma..she's three years older than us. How does that even happen? He slowly lifts his eyes to mine and his expression turns pained.

"Please don't freak out, Ads. I know it sounds weird but it just happened."

I swallow and try my best to stay relaxed. I have no right to judge him about his past. We weren't even close to friends and he didn't do anything to me.

"How?" I croak, alarmed by my tone of voice. He sighs and scratches his head.

"Gem had a party here while my mother was gone. I was fifteen at the time. Her friends begged me to join them. I wanted to impress everyone, so I did. I got really drunk and one of her friends had been flirting with me the whole night. She ended up dragging me to my bedroom and she threw herself at me. I had no idea what I was doing, obviously, but she was too drunk to care. She didn't force me or anything, but I definitely wasn't saying no. Before I could think about it she had both of our clothes off and...it just happened."

I stare at his chest for a minute while I process this. Harry lost his virginity to one of his sisters friends, a girl that he wasn't even interested in. And on top of it all he was drunk. I didn't think he would be the kind of person to have a story like that, that he would be the kind of person to lose his virginity to someone that didn't mean anything to him.

"Ads, please say something," he says quietly, releasing my hand and putting his palm against my cheek. When I finally meet his eyes he looks really nervous.

"That umm...I don't really know what to say." I honestly don't. Am I allowed to have an opinion?

"Just tell me what you're thinking."

"Was that the only time?" I ask quietly. He closes his eyes for a few seconds and looks up at the ceiling. I'm going to take that as a no.

"I dated someone for a while. At the end of last year and into the summer."

I remember. She's in our class. I think her name is Carlie. "And you slept with her."

"Yeah." I nod and remove his hand from around my waist, sitting up and ending all contact. If you want to get turned off real fast, ask the person about their past sex life. It really does the trick.

He sits up as well and puts his hand on my leg, but I move it away and stand up. I can't be mad, I know that. I have no right to be upset about this. It's so intimidating, though, knowing that he's gone so far and I've done nothing. He obviously has needs that I haven't been willing to help with with over this last week. I walk silently into my closet, blindly choosing some clothes to change into. I hear him shift on the bed while I go into my bathroom, locking the door so I can change and fix myself up a bit. I don't know what to say to him. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this. I wasn't expecting him to tell me that he's a virgin, but I was at least hoping that he was in some sort relationship or something. The story he told me...it's so meaningless. And I don't understand that. I walk out of the bathroom and take my phone from my bedside table, as well as lifting my purse from the floor.

"Please say something," he begs quietly. I stand in the doorway and meet his eyes briefly. I don't know what to do. I've never been in a situation like this before.

"I have to go," I blurt. His mouth drops open and I quickly turn and walk down the hallway towards the front door. I hear him jogging after me so I pick up my pace as well, pulling a coat quickly from the closet and sliding my feet into some boots.

"Ads, please talk to me. Don't leave like this." He stands beside the door as I reach for the handle. I pause and look up at him. He looks really scared right now. Does he think this means I'm done with him? It definitely doesn't. I just need to sort through my thoughts for a while.

"I'll be back. I just need to get something." It's not a lie. I do need to get Harry's present from the mall. I also need to clear my head.

"So we're not going to talk about this? You asked me to tell you and I did and now you're just going to leave?"

I open my mouth to answer but am cut off when there's a knock on the door. We exchange a confused look and I open the door slowly, shocked by the person on the other side.

"Liam?" Harry steps towards me and looks outside.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he spits. That would be a lot more intimidating if he wasn't only wearing his boxers.

"You haven't answered any of my calls, Adie. I really need to talk to you," he says, ignoring Harry. I flinch slightly when he announces that he's been trying to reach me. Harry didn't need to know that.

"Well I have nothing to say to you." I try to sound indifferent but I'm actually really nervous. That has nothing to do with Liam, though and everything to do with Harry.

"Please, just let me explain."

"Explain? You stuck your tongue down someone else's throat and she saw, there's really nothing to explain," Harry interjects. "You need to leave, Liam. Now."

He glares at Harry for a minute before slowly looking back at me. "Please just call me, okay? Hear me out." I just stare at him, not sure how to respond. He sighs and turns away, walking back to his car. Harry swings the doors shut in front of me and folds his arms.

"He's been calling you? You didn't think you should tell me that?"

"Why should I? It's not really any of your concern, Harry. I can handle it myself."

"Right, because obviously ignoring him is working pretty well for you." His tone is full of sarcasm and I'm not in the mood to deal with this too. I already had something major unloaded on me, I don't need to deal with Liam as well. My priority is Harry and I need some time out of the house to clear my head.

"I'm going out. I'll be back in an hour or two," I announce, taking my keys out of my bag and walking out the front door. Harry doesn't protest this time, thankfully. Ten in the morning and my day has already had more drama than the last week. Great start to my Christmas Eve.

---

"It looks perfect." I twist the ring in my fingers and hand the jeweller on of Harry's other ones that I stole the other day. "Can you match it to this size?"

He nods. "Would you like it wrapped?"

"Umm...yeah. Sure. Thank you." He nods again and disappears into the back of the store. So much happened this morning it seems and I'm being a coward and hiding out in the mall instead of dealing with it. While I'm waiting I decide to make my daily call to Caroline. She picks up on the first ring.

"Adison Jones you better have a good reason for dropping off the face of the earth."

She sounds annoyed. That's never good. "Sorry, I've been...busy."

"Too busy for your friends? Where the hell are you? We haven't seen you since the formal!"

"I know, I'm sorry." I can practically hear her rolling her eyes. I do feel bad that I haven't talked to them much. That probably wasn't a smart decision. "Do you and Tyler want to come over later? We can exchange gifts."

"Yes! Do you want to call him or should I?"

"I can."

"Okay, I'm excited! What time?"

"I'm not sure. I'll text you." She tells me an excited goodbye and hangs up before I can respond again. Well, she got over that quickly. Caroline couldn't hold a grudge if her life depended on hit. She's not one for dwelling on things. The man I was speaking to earlier reappears and hands me a small bag containing the box with Harry's gift in it. I pay for the item and slowly walk through the mall towards where my car is, dialling Tyler's number on my phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me," I respond shyly. We haven't talked much and I really don't want him to be mad at me.

"Adie? Wow, you're actually alive," he says, laughing. He sounds like he's teasing. I guess he's not mad?

"I am. Are you mad at me?"

"No, of course not. I just assumed you were busy. What's up, how've you been?"

"I've been....pretty good actually." I really want to tell him about Harry, but I'm not sure if Harry would like that. These are my best friends, though. They're like family to me and it has been so hard for me not to tell them everything. I had my freaking first kiss and I couldn't even talk to Caroline about it. That's hard.

"That's good. I feel like I haven't seen you in a year."

"I know," I laugh. "Are you busy today? I just talked to Car and we were thinking we could all exchange gifts later at my house."

"Yeah, that sounds good. I can't wait to see what kind of car you bought for me."

"Ha. Ha. Don't get you're hopes up. I'll text you with the time."

He laughs and agrees before we say our goodbyes and hang up. If they're coming over, I need food. I stop at the grocery store on the way home and get some frozen pizzas and some other snacks for us. Harry and I made a ton of Christmas cookies this week and the ones we made yesterday still need to have icing put on them.

When I pull into the driveway I start to feel a little nervous about talking with Harry. I'm not mad at all, I decided. Me leaving and feeling weird had everything to do with my own insecurities and nothing to do with Harry. I feel bad for leaving the way I did. He's probably freaking out about the way I reacted to what he told me. I can't be upset about what he told me, and he even said that he's not proud of it. I need to focus on right now, on my relationship or whatever I have with him, not on the past. I put the small bag containing Harry's gift in my purse before getting out of the car and carrying the grocery bags inside. I walk through the empty living space to the kitchen to start putting everything away. I leave out the ingredients for the frosting and take out the mixer and a bowl.

"Adie?" I look up to see Harry rounding the corner, bare-chested and only wearing some low hanging sweatpants. My heart flutters at the sight and I tear my eyes away so he doesn't catch me staring.

"Hey," I reply nonchalantly, taking out a measuring cup. I start measuring out the icing sugar, but Harry walks straight up to me and takes everything out of my hands. I'm about to ask what he's doing, but the thought is replaced by a small scream when he lifts me up and throws me over his shoulder.

"Harry, what are you doing. Put me down!"

He doesn't respond, just carries me to the couch and throws me onto it, proceeding to climb on top of me and sit on my waist, straddling me and pinning my wrists on either side of my head.

"What in the world are you doing?" I ask, sort of out of breath.

"We need to talk and this time you can't run away," he explains coolly.

"This is a little...excessive." I look to the side at his hand over my wrist and back to him. He doesn't seem bothered.

"Why did you leave like that? I've been sitting around here freaking out about the way you reacted to my little story. Are you done with me?"

"What? No, of course not." He closes his eyes briefly and sighs, relaxing a little. "Harry, I'm not mad or anything. I wanted to know and I'm glad that I do. I didn't leave because of you."

"Then why?"

I take a deep breath. "Can you let go of me?" He smiles slightly and releases my wrists, proceeding to lay down on top of me so I'm still trapped underneath him. "I'm not planning on running away, you weirdo."

"Too bad," he replies, smirking and propping himself up on his elbows, which are on either side of me. I roll my eyes and continue.

"It wasn't really about you. I just felt weird I guess."

"Why?"

I sigh and look away from his eyes. "Because, Harry. I'm not even close to being as experienced as you. It's intimidating."

"Why does that matter?"

"Can you please get off of me?" I'm starting to feel quite uncomfortable talking about this in this position. I feel like I can't look anywhere but him and in these moments, my go-to would be to avoid eye contact. That's hard to do when the person is hovering three inches above your face.

"No. Why do you care if I've gone farther than you?"

"I really don't want to have this discussion like this, Harry."

"Answer the question and I'll move," he reasons.

"Move and I'll answer the questions." He narrows his eyes and me and shakes his head.

"No deal. Looks like you're stuck." He flashes me an adorable crooked smile and I do my best not to smile back at him. Damn that dimple. "Just talk to me, Adie. What's the big deal if I've gone farther than you? I don't think that matters."

"It does matter."

"Why, though?"

"Because." He raises his eyebrows, silently asking me to explain. "Are you really going to make me talk about this right now?"

"Yup. Spill."

"Fine. I'm scared about this, okay? I feel like some naive innocent little girl that has no idea what she's doing and could never measure up. I don't know how to do any of this."

His look softens and turns sympathetic. "Aren't you comfortable with me?" he asks, trailing his knuckles along the cheekbone. I nod. "Do you seriously think that every time we're together I'm comparing you to someone else? Ads, whether I'm with you or not you're all I can think about. It's quite pathetic, really."

I laugh and relax a little as well. "I just feel like I'm bad at this. I don't know what I'm doing and I feel bad that you have to like...match my pace I guess."

"You're a lot better at this than you think you are, love. Trust me. I don't expect you to want to go further than we have. Don't feel like you have to push yourself for me. I just want you to feel comfortable with me and I need you to be able to talk to me about this stuff."

He smiles adoringly and my heart just melts. "Really? I'm not driving you crazy with not going further than kissing?"

"What do you think I am? Some horny kid that can't control himself?" he jokes. I shrug and laugh nervously. "Don't worry about me, okay? Don't tell anyone this, but you have me wrapped around your finger. I'll do whatever you want."

"I want you to get off of me."

"Except that."

I laugh and he smiles as he leans down to kiss me, pressing our lips together and hugging my body close to his.I put my hands on either side of his face and pull him back gently. He kisses the tip of my nose.

"I wanted to decorate those cookies. Will you help me?"

He nods and lifts himself off of me, extending a hand and helping me stand. He leads me to the kitchen.

"Are you making the icing?" he asks, picking up the open bag of icing sugar. "Can't you just buy it?"

"This tastes way better, trust me. Can you get me some mild and butter. Oh and the vanilla." I instruct Harry on measurements and basically watch him o this for me. He's better at cooking, but my baking skills surpass his by a long shot. He dumps everything in a bowl and I try not to laugh while he attempts to mix it by hand. He's struggling a lot.

"Okay, give me the bowl," I laugh, giving in. "See that thing over there?" I point to the mixer sitting on the other counter. "That's a blender thingy. It'll mix it for you."

"Well why didn't you say that before you big meanie." He follows me over to it and I place the bowl under the prongs. Harry suddenly puts it on high, sending the mixture flying everywhere. I squeal and try to shield myself, but it's no use. Harry starts laughing and I reach over to shut it off completely.

"Oh my goodness, Harry! Seriously?" We both have icing sugar, butter and milk splattered all over our faces, his chest and my shirt, as well as it being all over the counter and cupboards around us. It's quite the mess. He just laughs.

"You have some butter on your nose," he says, pointing to my face. I swat his hand away and wipe my hand over my nose. He was right. I reach forward and put it on his nose instead.

"That was uncalled for."

"Don't even think about starting a food fight, Styles. We need to clean this up, Car and Tyler are going to be here in an hour and I want to get these cookies ready. And now I have to shower."

"You're no fun," he whines, walking to the sink and getting a rag. He starts wiping and I adjust the speed of the mixer before starting it up again. Once the icing is ready Harry has cleaned the kitchen and we're ready to decorate the cookies we made.

"So, why are Tyler and Caroline coming over? Are you sick of me?" He bumps his hip playfully against mine.

"Maybe a little." I laugh and he pretends to be crying. "I haven't seen them at all since school ended. We're exchanging gifts."

"I thought we were doing fine just the two of us," he says, acting quite hurt by my actions.

"We were. But we both of friends that we haven't talked to in almost a week. Time to interact with the real world."

"This icing is amazing," he compliments, putting some in his mouth and ignoring my attempt at reality. "We should do this more often."

"I don't know about that. You create quite the mess there, Harry." There's icing covering his knife and he's somehow gotten it all over the counter in front of him. It's like baking with a child.

When they're finished I announce to Harry that I need to shower. He gets a mischievous look in his eye and nods his head. I feel a little confused but...whatever. I head to my bedroom and start to pull up my t-shirt, jumping about ten feet in the air when I feel hands on my hips. I spin around and Harry locks his arms around my waist, under my shirt against my bare skin.

"What are you doing?" I squeal, cheeks burning. I did not hear him follow me at all.

"I got just as dirty as you did. I just thought we'd save water," he says simply, smirking down at me. He presses his lips against mine before I can protest, holding me tight against him. I wrap my arms around his neck and he lifts me off the ground, butterflies erupting in my stomach. The things this boy can do to me.

I separate my lips from his and he rubs our noses together. He knows that I won't say yes to this.

"Well now my shower is definitely doing to be cold," he informs me, voice low. I scrunch my face up and he just laughs. "Just saying. You have that effect on me."

"You're gross."

"You're mean."

"Okay, put me down. I need to shower." He sets me slowly back on the ground and kisses me once more before walking out of my room, winking at me as he pulls the door shut.

Notes

im going to try to update again tonight! sorry this one took so long :(
thanks for all the comments :) i didnt get as many votes/subscribers as I was hoping, but I got some and i really appreciate it :) LOVE YOU GUYS

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