*Olivia Harper*

When I woke up, Harry was still next to me. He was asleep, his arms wrapped tightly around me, our legs tangled together. I was warm and comfortable in his arms and under the blanket, and I didn’t want to move. I turned my head slightly to see the time. It was around four in the evening. I sighed. It was an odd time to sleep, and I knew I’d have trouble falling asleep again later.

I turned my face back to Harry, glad that he was here. I smiled despite myself as I took in his sleeping form. He looked more carefree and younger somehow, and I didn’t even know that was possible. His mouth was slightly open, his sparkling green orbs hidden under his lids. I brushed his curls away from his forehead, my hand lingering to stroke his skin.

Slowly, my hand slid down his jaw, my thumb stroking his smooth skin there. I slid my hand to his chest, placing my palm flat against it. I let it trail across each inch of his smooth skin, feeling the texture under the tips of my fingers. I traced his nipples, all four of them, and chuckled quietly to myself. He was such a freak. Who had four nipples anyway?

My hand skimmed lower, coming in contact with the slight dust of hair below his navel. I felt his well-defined v-lines under my fingers, stroking the area gently. I reached up and buried my face in his neck, breathing deeply. He smelt absolutely amazing; something spicy and strong that couldn’t quite figure out, and like…Harry. His own natural smell was delicious enough to make my head spin. His curls were soft and they tickled my forehead. My hand slid up his torso, and then further up to coil in his hair. I could run my hands through them forever. I puckered my lips slightly and let them brush across the smooth skin of his neck, letting them trace the well-defined vein that popped out of his skin. He was warm, so warm, and I snuggled into him even further, letting my skin press against his. The feeling to lie here with him forever was so strong that it made me dizzy and breathless but most of all, it made me want him more.

Harry was unlike any guy I’d ever met. Maybe initially he only saw me as someone he could run to when he was horny, but I knew that had changed now, like it had for me. He’d made it very clear that it had. We were friends now, just like he’d predicted. But the term ‘friends’ wasn’t nearly enough to describe just how much deeper our bond ran. He understood me, he put up with me, and he didn’t even have to. We’d started off as ‘friends with benefits’, but now Harry meant the world to me. He stayed when no one else had. I was a mess and he was constantly putting me back together every time I broke.

I needed him; way more than I should have. He kept me sane and to be honest, he kept me happy. But how long would he stay for? Not long, I was sure. If everyone was tired, if everyone had given up, it was only a matter of time before Harry would leave too. Sooner or later, he’d get tired of having to put me back together again and again, and he’d leave. And I’d let him, because what would I ever be able to do to stop him? Driving people away was something I was becoming increasingly good at, and with Harry, I’d already done it twice. He came back once, he came back twice, but was there to be a third time, would he come back again?

I moved my head back and looked at him, and my heart squeezed in my chest. The thought of him leaving me made me sadder than I already was. I moved further away, letting my hand slip away from his hair. Right away, his arms tightened around me, holding me in a vice grip. I struggled against him, and his arms tightened further. I pulled myself away and almost fell out bed, waking Harry up.

“Wha—” he mumbled suddenly, looking around. “Harper? God, did I fall asleep?”

I nodded, sitting up. His arms were replaced by a rush of cold air and I just wanted to lie back down and snuggle again. “We both did,” I said instead, looking around for my clothes.

“Mm, so much for not cuddling,” he joked, sitting up too.

He was right. Every rule of ‘just fucking’ and ‘no cuddling’ and promising each other we’d stay out of the other’s lives had all gone out of the window. I cracked a slight smile, but it felt strange after hours of crying.

“Where are you going?” he asked, stretching. “Come back here.”

I shook my head, though I really should have just listened to him. “I…er…I’m no tired anymore. Actually, I’m sort of hungry.”

That wasn’t a complete lie. I hadn’t even eaten breakfast properly, and it was way past lunch time too. My stomach was rumbling and now that I’d mentioned my hunger, I was hungrier than ever.

Harry chuckled. “Put on your clothes,” he told me, “I’ll make you a sandwich.”

He got off the bed and put on his clothes quickly, and I found myself leaning back against the headboard of the bed and watching him do so. The muscles in his arms and back tensed every time he moved and bent to pick up his clothes. His hair was messy from sleep and sex, his eyes slightly droopy. Nonetheless, he looked as good as ever. I watched him take in his plump bottom lip between his teeth as he straightened his t-shirt, reaching up involuntarily to run his hands through his hair after he put it on.

I wanted to hug him, wrap my small arms around his toned, strong body and have him hold me tight and keep me in his arms because that was what I needed right now. He could tuck me under his arms and hide me from the rest of the world so effortlessly that it seemed even more tempting. I wanted his arms to be wrapped so tightly around me that I couldn’t breathe, I wanted his head buried in the crook of my neck so I could feel his hot breath on my skin and his curls tickling my cheek, I wanted to skim my hands all over his smooth back and feel the muscles move under them, wanted to hide my face in his chest and never have to face the world again.

“Are you done staring at me?”

His question snapped me out of my reverie and I jumped slightly, surprised.

“I think you’re drooling, a little bit,” he joked, the corners of his mouth twitching. “Something on my face, baby?”

I realized I’d been staring at him like an idiot, and I hurriedly shut my mouth and shook my head. “Wha…no—I, I just—” I stammered like an idiot.

Harry laughed. “Harper, you’re an idiot, you know that?” he shook his head, his curls bouncing around his face. “Get dressed and come downstairs, alright?” He turned around and reached for the door.

“Harry,” I spoke before I could think better.

He turned around slightly. “Yeah?”

“I…” I what? Why had I even stopped him? “Nothing.”

He turned around fully, looking both amused as well as curious. “Harper, what is it?” he asked me.

I shook my head. Can you put Nutella in it?” I asked stupidly. “I, uh, I like chocolate.”

He laughed. “Yes, ma’am,” he said softly. “Anything else?”

I opened my mouth to speak, my mind buzzing. There was so much I needed to ask and so much I was confused about.

“No, nothing else.” I said. “Nothing at all.”
---

A blur. That’s what the crowd was to me right now. I tried to find Lexi, but I couldn’t figure out one face from the other. My mind was buzzing and everything seemed like a dream as I staggered through the crowd, pushing past people and going in no particular direction.

I felt arms wrap around my waist, but was too wasted to show the surprise I felt. I turned clumsily and looked up; blinking furiously to focus on whomever was in front of me.

“Hi, there,” a deep, unfamiliar voice whispered in my ear. “What’s a hottie like you doing here all alone?”

I giggled, able to recognize the cheesiness of the line even in my drunken state. “That’s stupid,” I commented.

“Silly, silly, silly.”

“How about I take you upstairs and show a real good time?” he murmured, his hands travelling down to my bum.

“It’ll be more fun than this party.”

“But what about…Lexi?” I slurred, looking around. “She’s…I…”

“I’m sure Lexi will find you later,” he cooed. “What do you think, hot stuff?”

“How much fun?” I asked stupidly. “Lots?”

“Lots,” he promised, taking my hand. “Come on.”

---

The first thing I was aware of when I woke up was an intolerable headache. My mouth was dry and I had the horrible taste of vomit in my mouth. It was a while before I could focus on my surroundings, which with a jolt I realized, were not familiar at all.

The second thing I noticed was that I was naked. Absolutely naked, with a thin blanket draped clumsily over me. I sat up quickly, and the sudden gesture made my head spin. I groaned and pressed the heel of palm to my forehead, as I realized just why I was in this condition.

This was not how I wanted my first time to be. I definitely didn’t want to be drunk and unaware of anything that was going on with and around me. I wanted to be sober and in my senses to experience something that was supposed to be so wonderful and unforgettable. But most of all, I wanted it to be with someone I was really in love with, not with a stranger whose face I didn’t remember.

The bathroom door opened and a boy who I’d near seen before stepped out. He looked at me, his face blank but for a tiny hint of disgust.

“Why’re you still here?” he asked me.

“I…”

“Look, my parents are about to come back, okay?” he said, picking up my dress and my bra and tossing it towards me. “Just put on your clothes and leave before they get here.”

He left the room, shutting it loudly behind him.
---

In my head, I compared my first time with what Harry had described his to be. Mine had been at a party, in some small, dingy room with someone I didn’t know. Instead of making me happy, my first time had left me feeling dirty and contaminated, and disgusted with myself. His had been with someone he was really in love with, and even if they weren’t together now, it was still a memorable experience for him.

I wondered what it would be like to lose your virginity to a boy like Harry. He was sweet and gentle when you needed him to be, but he knew just how to make someone feel good. I wondered if the girl who lost it to him remembered him the way he remembered her. It wouldn’t be fair at all if she didn’t. Someone like Harry deserved to be remembered for all the right reasons, if anyone was ever lucky to find him.

Thinking of Harry being with someone in that way made me feel uncomfortable. I didn’t even want to think of anyone else who could own his body in ways I’d come to know so well, but moreover, I didn’t like the idea of someone sharing with him what I had, so many times. I wanted him all to myself.

“Here you go,” he said, placing a plate with my sandwich and a steaming hot mug of hot chocolate before me.

“Thank you, Harry.” I said, lifting the bread.

He smiled at me, shooting a quick wink in my direction. He lifted his mug and brought it to his lips, taking a small sip. He gasped and spluttered, setting his mug down.

“Gah, this is hot,” he breathed.

“Obviously,” I chuckled.

“Oh, shut it,” he said teasingly.

“You shut it,” I retaliated playfully.

He stuck his tongue out and reached across the table to flick my nose. I brought my hand up to it, swatting his away.

“Oi,” I scolded.

“Oi,” he mocked in a girly voice, followed by a deep chuckle.

“I’ll pour this down your pants,” I warned, gesturing at his mug.

He playfully pulled strands of my hair. “I’d like to see you try.”

“Ow!” I yelped. “Harry!”

“Ow, Harry it hurts!” he squealed in his best impression of my voice. “Stop, stop!”

“That doesn’t even sound like me,” I laughed loudly, throwing my head back.

“Yes it does,” he laughed. “You sound just like that.”

“My voice isn’t that weird,” I said.

“Actually, it is.” He ribbed.

I reached across and gripped his hair tightly in my fist. He yelped painfully, trying to wriggle away. “It’s not!” I
laughed, tugging at it more. “Say it’s not.”

“Yes it is.” He said loudly, trying to push my hand away. In an annoyingly high pitched voice, he said, “Oh my God, let me gooooo!”

“Harry Styles!” I yelled, but I was laughing.

“Olivia Harper!” he mocked, still doing his lame ass impression of me.

I let go of his hair to quickly run to his side. He stepped away just in time, laughing. I lunged at him and he side stepped, running to the other end of the table. I flailed my arms around like an idiot, trying to reach him, but he was too far away and my arms were too damn small. He laughed and grabbed the jar of Nutella, scooping some onto his finger.

“You put that down!” I told him.

“Or what?” he challenged.

“Your chocolate is still hot,” I reminded him.

“Oh, you’re going to have to get in my pants for that first, baby,” he said.

“I did that already,” I teased, and he laughed loudly, throwing his head back and letting his curls bounce around.
He looked like a child as he did so, relaxed and adorable. His green eyes sparkled with humour and his dimples were prominent as he grinned at me widely.

He was inching towards me, and now it was me who was running away from him. I backed away, shaking my head.

“Don’t you dare,” I told him, raising my hands. “Harry—”

“Oh come on, baby.” He said, his tone soft and teasing. “You said you like chocolate.”

“Uh, to eat,” I told him.

“I’ve heard it’s good for your skin,” he winked at me, dangerously close to me. He’d blocked any way for me to run
away to the other end of the table, trapping me between him and the kitchen wall.

“Try it on your skin first,” I told him, stepping as far away as I could.

“Ladies first,” he laughed, and suddenly I was in his arms and he was smearing chocolate down my forehead, from the length of my cheek, right down to my neck. I squealed and pushed at him, thwacking his head.

“Harry!” I roared, using the back of my hand to wipe away the thick, gooey and sticky substance.

Harry was laughing so hard that his eyes were brimming with tears. He set the jar down and buried his face in his hands, letting out peals of laughter as I stood there, glaring at him with a mixture of shock, annoyance and absolute amusement. I reached for the jar myself, thinking I’d be quick, but Harry was quicker. He saw what I was about to do, grabbed both my wrists and slammed me against the kitchen wall, trapping me completely.

“Oh, no you don’t,” he warned, still laughing.

“Let me go,” I instructed as I struggled to control my laughter. “You’re pissing me off.”

“Am I?” I asked. “You look like you’re enjoying yourself.”

“You are so annoying!” I huffed, but I was grinning.

“But you love me anyway,” he pointed out.

“No, I only use you for your penis,” I joked.

He laughed. “We both know what isn’t true,” he said, his laughter dying down ever so slightly.

My eyes travelled down to his pink lips, and I was reminded suddenly of their soft texture and the feel against my own. He was so close to me right now, his body pressed up against mine. I could just reach up slightly and kiss him…

“You’re so self-centred, you know that?” I said. “You think everyone loves you.”

“But they do,” Harry insisted. “These curls get the girls, baby.”

At that I burst out laughing once again, shaking my head at the stupidity of the line. “That’s the shittiest thing I’ve ever heard.”

He grinned his signature crooked grin. “Is it?” he asked. “I just wanted to try it out. Louis said that once, so I thought…”

“It’s dumb,” I laughed.

“It’s also very true,” he argued. “You have to agree.”

“I’m the only girl you’ve got,” I pointed out.

“Well, that’s because I politely decline the numerous women who want to bed me every day,” he said. “It’s a bit tiresome and I feel quite bad, but I do it anyway. Not everyone gets a piece of this, you know.”

“Mm, am I the only one you want, then?” I asked softly, smiling up at him. “Will no one else do?”

Harry’s smirk reduced to a sincere smile, and he leaned in, pressing his forehead to mine. His hot, sweet smelling
breath washed over my face and I felt my eyes fall shut.

“Yeah,” he whispered, a smile in his voice. “I only want you.”

For a reason I didn’t quite know, his words sent butterflies fluttering in my stomach and my heart clenched in my chest. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. The humour was gone from his face, only a trace of it left behind in his green orbs.

“Well, that’s good,” I mumbled softly, not paying attention to what I was saying. There was a buzz in my ears and my brain seemed muddled. Nothing made sense anymore, just the fact that slowly and steadily, Harry was leaning in.

I was expecting to feel his lips on mine but they never even touched. Instead, Harry’s lips went to my neck, and he let his tongue flick across my skin that was covered in chocolate. I bit my lip as his teeth grazed the wet skin and he lightly sucked the chocolate. He moved further up, right under my jaw and repeated this action and I whimpered slightly. God, he made me feel so good. The tiniest of touches sent me whimpering and shivering under him, like right now. Harry’s hands were tight around my wrist, holding me in place as his mouth placed kisses all over my chocolate covered skin, occasionally licking and sucking.

He reached up and took my earlobe between his teeth, tugging on it gently and growling softly in my ear. His lips slid across my skin, back to my neck and then further down again, just below my collarbone. There wasn’t any chocolate there but Harry sucked on my skin there anyway. I gasped, my eyes fluttering as he took the skin between his teeth and sucked harshly, ignoring my whimpers of slight discomfort. I sighed his name and he pulled away to inspect the newly formed bruise on my skin. He bent forward again and placed a wet kiss on it, and I arched into him.

My hands freed themselves from his grip and tugged at his curls and I forced him to look at me. His eyes were blazing and all the playfulness and humour was completely gone. What was left between us was something red hot and fiery just waiting to be unleashed, but I didn’t know why we were holding it in.
So I reached up and took his face in my hands, and kissed him hungrily. I couldn’t hold it in; I was desperate to feel Harry’s lips against mine. I ignored the fact that my cheek was still sticky and I ought to wash my face and neck.
Right now, the only thing that mattered was Harry’s lips moving hungrily against mine, his hands on either side of me, flat against the wall as his body pressed against mine. His lips tasted sweet, like the Nutella he’d just sucked off my skin, and I could even taste it on his tongue. I was pulling him in into me, as much as I could, wanting to feel him against me completely. Harry tugged at my lower lip with his teeth before pulling away.

My heart was racing wildly in my chest and my breathing was unsteady. I’d kissed Harry before, but none of the kisses we’d shared had made me feel as giddy as this one. I would have collapsed if I weren’t still holding in to Harry.

I moved further into him and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him as tightly as I could. “Thank you, Harry.”

“For smearing chocolate all over you?” he asked, chuckling and hugging me back. “Anytime.”

I shook my head against his chest, feeling his warmth radiating through his shirt and reach me. “For coming over today. I needed you.”

He rested his cheek atop my head. “Of course I came,” he said gently, stroking my back. “Are you okay, baby?”

“No,” I told him. “But I will be.”
---