Breathe

“Harry” I moan through kisses as his lips attack my neck. We make our way through the front door and then down the hall, his hands quickly unzipping my dress. He attacks my mouth and my small fingers fiddle with his pants. I get them down to his knees and he helps the rest of the way. I turn around as he slides my dress down my shoulders gently kissing the cold fare skin on my back. I step out of the delicate gown and turn to look face to face with the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. He takes me in his strong arms and we fall back onto the bed. His mouth trails from collarbone to collar bone. I lose my hands in his long brown hair. I feel him carefully push my legs apart to which I allow. I take a deep breath as he sinks into me slowly. He groans into my neck and starts moving forward and back steadily.

“Nina” He whispers through breaths. I tilt my head back as he moves faster.

“Harry please” I beg for him, he grasps the sides of me with his warm hands and moves quicker. I feel his body tense up and my heart starts racing.

He attaches his lips to mine as his body releases. “I love you” He says quietly against my lips.

--
I can’t stop staring at my hand; Harry has his body draped over mine, his head on my chest sleeping soundly. I can’t sleep, and I can’t stop looking at my hand. The ring is beyond enormous, I would have been happy with something simple but this is beautiful. It looks huge when attached to my frail, small, and skinny finger.

“Why are you awake” Harry moves slightly and asks very sleepily. I smile at how cute he sounds while half asleep

“I’m not sure,” I whisper

“Is everything okay?” He keeps his eyes closed, not moving his head from my chest.

“Everything’s perfect” I smile and he’s fallen back asleep again.

---

I wake to the hot sun against my eyelids. I throw my arm out and notice no one beside me. I sit up and scan the room and Harry is nowhere to be found. I stand out of bed and drape Harry’s dress shirt around me cautiously walking out into the hallway.

“Harry” I call out

“I’m in here love,” He says back

“What are you doing?” I question when I see him behind the fridge door.

“Cooking!” He replies like a small child, it makes me smile. A weight brings down my ring finger, I stare down and I almost forgot what is placed there.

“The media is blowing up” He announces and snatches the remote off the marble counter top, with a click the huge flat screen over top of the fireplace turns on, he skips to the news channel and a reporter is on sight at big ben, reporting about our engagement.

"How cute" I gawk at the preppy reporter and slide up onto the barstool. Harry places a huge platter of food in front of me and another in front of the stool next to me.

"You basically cooked the whole kitchen hey?" I look at him sarcastically he pours the syrup on his pancakes in anyway less than sparingly.

"I thought we'd be hungry after all the" He pauses and clears his throat "activity we went through"

I roll my eyes and stab my fork into a hash brown. Today is the first real day of us just being alone and engaged together and I can't hide my excitement. We just get to relax and hangout together in the house and not have to go or be anywhere.

"Someone just pulled into the driveway" Harry interrupts my thoughts

"Really" I can't hide the disappointment in my voice, he hops up and strides to the door.

"Go put something more than my shirt on love" He points demandingly at the bedroom down the hall. I shrug and throw up hands up in the air.

"Fine" I sulk down the hardwood as Harry answers the door.

"Hey" I hear him before I shut the door. I feel everything hitting me way too fast. I'm getting married,

"I'm getting married" I say it out loud to myself. I feel my body getting hot, did I rush into all this, and I’ve only known Harry for what two years? Not even? And we weren't even dating that whole time. Oh jeez. I pull my hands up to my head and feel my skin burn. I can't go out and deal with more people. I've seen enough people in the last three days to last a lifetime.

I walk to the bathroom at the other end of the bedroom and start the water, I slip some bubble bath into it and start undressing. As I climb into the tub the warm feeling from the water moves up my leg. I sink in and close my eyes. I throw my hand out and turn on the radio that sits beside the tub, classical starts playing and I have no desire to change it.

"May I ask what you are doing?" I hear Harry's voice in the doorway, it startles me and I snap my neck up to meet his confusing gaze.

"Having a bath" I reply sharply and stupidly

"Couldn't tell, Dani, El, Perrie, Jessica and Tia are here, waiting for you, in the living room" He states

I groan and slip deeper into the water

"I just want to stay here alone, all these people are overwhelming and I just want to escape them all" I complain and stand up out of the tub. Bubbles dripping down my body Harry greedily run his eyes along me.

"Hand me that towel baby" I say seductively hoping that maybe I can have a few minutes alone with him before I have to deal with all the girls. Harry smiles and shakes his mop of a head, it moves from side to side.

“No way” He throws the towel in my direction. I shrug in defeat.

“You’re seriously no fun” I drape the towel around me and walk past him. He leans against the doorpost laughing. I throw my damp hair up in a ponytail and slip on joggers and a baggy shirt. I don’t even put underwear or a bra on. Harry sits on the bed behind me. I sigh

“I’ll come out Harry I promise, you don’t need to babysit me”

“You forgot this by the bed” He stands and hands me my engagement ring with a slight frown. I take it and secure it to my ring finger.

My eyes widen “I didn’t want to get it wet” I’m quick to defend myself.

He smiles tightly “It’s fine” he exits the room and I bend my head back taking three deep breaths.

I walk out 10 seconds after him.

“Nina!” Tia runs up to me and embraces me; she hugs me so hard it almost knocks the wind out of me. I see Harry playing with something in the kitchen drawer, his eyes diverted down and never once coming up.

“We have planning to do” Tia holds me at arms length and a Cheshire cat smile works its way across her face.

“Planning? I just got en- engaged” as I speak the words Harry slams the kitchen drawer shut. All eyes attach onto him.

He shrugs “Sorry drawer was stuck” and with that he retreats to the study, closing the door behind him. I can feel the tension growing between us.

“Is he okay?” Jessica asks, bouncing Mallory on her leg as she giggles.

“He’s fine” I realize now what his problem is, he thinks I don’t want to get married, he thinks I’m not into all this. Truth is I’m not, not into the whole planning thing. I’m totally into getting married I love Harry and with everything we’ve been through it’s a miracle we are still together. Harry wants me to be into this, I’ll be into it alright! I smile

“He’s fine, lets start planning!” I sit down and say almost too enthused. Dani raises an eyebrow

“I think first order of business is the venue!” She speaks while tossing bridal magazines my way.

“Shouldn’t Harry be in on this too?” I turn around to look at the study

“We can talk about it, make a plan and then you guys can decide together” Perrie flips the pages.

“I know I want to get married outside, I don’t know what Harry wants though we haven’t talked about it” I look down at my hands and the huge engagement ring on my finger.

“I feel like before we start planning that you should talk to Harry” Tia suggest, I nod my head agreeing with her.

“Shit” Dani exclaims while looking at her phone “Liam said Ella woke up and she has a fever, I have to go ladies I’m sorry”

“Maybe we should re-gather another day, we’ll call you and plan it next time, not just show up” Dani laughs and slowly makes her way out the door.

One by one they all gradually leave, we all realized that Harry and I really need to talk. Tia eventually gets a call from who I presume is Niall and she too leaves the house.

I creep up to the study door and knock gently.

“Come in” his voice, sounds wary. I frown when I hear it.

He’s sitting on his black office chair behind his large oak desk, papers and random things scattered around the mac desktop.

“Done with the girls already?” he avoids my eye contact.

“Harry I can be that girl” I start but he cuts me off

“What girl?”

“The girl that’s interested in weddings and venues and dresses and cakes and food and décor and who’s going to be the maid and honor and all that marriage stuff”

His eyebrows furrow and a crease forms between the bridge of his nose.

“You…. Aren’t interested in getting married?” He leans back in his chair, staring at me. His eyes burning holes in me, there like a pushing force I swear they could send me flying out of this room.

“No Harry, I’m completely interested in marrying you, I don’t care how we do it, or where or what I wear or who comes, you’re all that matters. I don’t care about all that stuff but I know you do so I’ll try my best” I feel and hear my voice trail off and suddenly I feel very childish, like I’m in grade one and I’ve been sent to the principles office and he’s making me confess what I did wrong.
Harry stands and takes three strides over to me, he grabs my waist quickly and brings me against his chest, his arms wrapping around me gently.

“I don’t really want you to be another girl, kind of why I chose to marry you” He rolls his eyes and says very matter of factly and if I weren’t in the wrong with this argument I would’ve gave him a word or two.

“We can plan everything together, I’ll help too. I wont be one of those lame fiancée’s who doesn’t help out or anything, everything’s from the cutlery and flowers, to the venue and guest list” He pulls me closer and I fall into those green eyes.

“Okay” I whisper and look down at the floor; he grasps my chin gently and turns it up towards him. His face as soft as silk.

He kisses me slowly “I love you okay?” He breathes inches away from my mouth

I swallow down the rising butterflies “I love you too” and with that I lunge at his mouth again, jumping wrapping my legs around his waist, he cradles his arms around my backside. I’m quick to move from his mouth down his neck and across his collarbones.

“Right now?” He takes a deep breath and I know exactly what he’s referring too.

I scoff and crawl down him to my knees as he leans against his oak desk.

He furrows his eyebrows as I undo his pants slipping them down slightly; I hold his hard shaft in my hand.

“Jesus Nina” He throws his head back as I slip my mouth along in. I haven’t done this in a long time, I move my mouth up and down his length as he runs his hands through his brown curls, I can see each strand pull up as if hes gripping them as hard as he can. I move faster and faster and his legs stiffen. Abruptly he bends over and picks me up from under my shoulders and sets me on my feet, he slides down my joggers and I kick them off my feet, he slips his hand under my shirt and pulls it off my head. He spins us around so I’m against the oak desk, he sits me on the edge of it and pins apart my legs, and agonizingly he enters me at his slowest speed.

“Harry” I moan and my hair tosses back, cascading around my back and shoulders. He picks up speed, and gradually he’s at his fastest speed. I wrap my arms around his shoulders as he kisses under my chin, trailing up to meet my mouth.

-

“Nina” he finally says after we both come down from our intense climax. His tone isn’t a I just got laid tone either, its worried, something’s wrong.

“Harry?” I raise an eyebrow

“The last few time’s we’ve had sex I haven’t been wearing anything, have you been taking your pill” His face goes white

“No, but don’t worry, the doctor said that if I could get pregnant again after the injuries it would be a miracle” I start confident but the end of the sentence trails off and gets quiet. He creases his forehead.

“Come here” He opens his arms and I crawl into them. He lifts me up from under my legs and walks me back to the bedroom; he tosses me carelessly onto the bed. I curl up into the white duvet, for only being 5 o’clock in the afternoon I’ve never been so tired.

“Wanna watch a movie?” He asks while propping the pillows up behind him I nod, but truthfully I’m probably going to fall asleep.

“I want to get married outside” I change the subject

“And I want it to be a smallish wedding, romantic, I don’t have much family or friends so the guest list will be basically your contacts, I don’t want any fancy colors, black and white, or black white and grey, nothing too flashy. I love flowers and lace” I stop to think and notice he’s staring at me wide eyed

I give him a questionable face

“You’re so sexy when you talk about our wedding” He kisses my forehead.

“If it were up to me I’d marry you tomorrow” He brings the blankets up to his chest

“You want to get married soon? How soon?” I start to worry

“You don’t?”

“I do, I just don’t know the time limit on venues and dresses and suits and all that stuff”

“Don’t worry, we can get everything we need”

“So how long Harry, we both need to agree?”

“A month?”

“You’re crazy, at least three months”

“Two months, we’ll meet in the middle” He gives out his hand as if asking me to shake on a deal I grasp it, its huge compared to my little frail hand.

“Deal, in two months exactly from today I will be Mrs. Styles” his eyes gleam like a little boy on Christmas but I can settle the unnerving feeling in my stomach.

Notes

IM BACCCKKK

so I will try to update every weekend, if not sooner, I will develop a schedule when I figure it out.

lots of works coming up so stay tuned