Hearts Like Ours
I sighed as I went around Harry’s apartment, picking up all of his discarded clothes. It was fashion week and he had been going to shows every night, stopping off at home only to change and head back out. I knew this was his thing and as much as I wanted to go, watching his friends walk the runway from the back row did not seem like a fun idea.
Harry tried to get me a pass for the front row, but I wasn’t anyone to talk about, so his request was denied. Of course, he would send me updates, let me know what looked great or horrendous, but that was all. Once the drinking started, I hadn’t heard from him again.
Part of me wondered why he hadn’t invited me to at least party with him, but I was afraid to ask. We were still stuck in this limbo and he wasn’t obligated to take me anywhere. He could go out dancing until the morning came and I would be left cleaning up his mess.
I could’ve just left his apartment looking like a tornado hit, but I had nothing else to do. I didn’t know my way around London, and even though I did do a bit of exploring, I was too nervous to venture out too far on my own. The last thing I needed was to be picked up by some stranger on the street.
As I grabbed Harry’s briefs from the lampshade next to the couch, I frowned, trying to imagine just how this could have happened. It was as though Harry came in and tossed everything as far as it could go before passing out in bed, sans clothes. These past few days, he had gotten home so early in the morning that it was nearly time for me to wake up. We had only seen each other in passing and I had missed having him around.
Is this what dating him was going to be like? I know he was busy and he had to keep up appearances. Harry was huge in the London fashion scene, but I would hope that I could be apart of that.
With a sigh, I dumped all of his clothes into the washing machine, setting it on the gentle cycle. Now that I had finished that, I wasn’t sure what to do. I figured taking a shower would pass the time until I heard from Harry next, so I did just that, opting to make it a long one. Everything had seemed so perfect when it was the two of us, but now that his friends were around, I hardly saw him.
After what seemed like a long time in the shower, I stepped out, wrapping a towel around my head and made my way to the living room. My phone showed no signs of life, not even an email from my parents to respond too. It was hard not to get down on myself, after days of being alone in his apartment. And of course, I found myself wondering if he hadn’t invite me out because Kendall was also in town.
Kendall shouldn’t have even been a matter of discussion, I knew, but of course, that was easier said than done. I kept my eyes glued to the gossip magazines I spotted at the coffee shops, on the lookout for any headlines reading “Hendall reunites”. Thankfully, nothing like that came yet, but I couldn’t let my guard down.
By the time I dried my hair and dressed for the day, the dryer had finished and I dropped Harry’s clothes off into the dryer. I had given up on waiting around for him to text me, or want to do anything with me. I figured today I would go a bit further than the coffee shop, With my phone fully charged, I should have been fine.
I opened the front door and adjusted the buttons on the peacoat Harry bought for me before walking out, only to be stopped by the curly haired boy himself.
“Harry, oh, um, I wasn’t expecting you home,” I said quickly and backed against the door. He seemed confused to see me leaving at this time of the day and I almost felt bad.
“Are you heading somewhere? I didn’t get any texts,” he started and quickly backtracked, realizing how bad that sounded, “not that I need you to tell me where you’re going to be at all times. I just was going to see if you wanted to go to dinner because I’ve missed you.”
And just like that, any shred of doubt I had about Harry’s feelings for me washed away in an instant. I didn’t understand this control he had over me. How could I go from being so incredibly emotional to overjoyed in a matter of seconds? This wasn’t normal.
I wasn’t even sure if this was even healthy.
I quickly regained my composure, not wanting to give into his charm without a fight. I was upset and I needed him to know that. “Oh, did your party get cancelled?” I shot back, folding my arms over my chest. It was quite hard to do so in this coat, but I did as best as I could, putting on a good bitchface for good measure.
Harry sighed and shook his head, his curls flopping wildly. I realized this was the first time in a long time I had seen Harry without that headrag of his. “I told Nick I was skipping the party tonight because I wanted to spend some time with you. I was just going to come home without telling you to surprise you. But if you are busy, I understand. I haven’t been the best to you lately and I’m sorry.”
My features softened and I rest my arms at my sides, wanting to forgive him. He did seem really apologetic for leaving me alone every day and he was trying to make things up to me. I rubbed my right arm shyly and locked eyes with his, biting my lip slightly. “I was just going for a walk. What did you have planned?”
Harry burst into a huge grin and planted a sloppy kiss on my lips. I could tell he was giddy from my forgiveness and I didn’t blame him. Between his constant partying these past few nights and dashing out to the next fashion show, I had barely even gotten a kiss out of him.
“I feel like this is always my thing, I do something wrong, but as long as you’ll always give me a chance to make things up to you, I’ll never stop trying,” he whispered as he opened the door behind us and led me inside. I know it wasn’t good for us to fight, but it didn’t seem as though it happened too often and we always made up before things got bad. That had to be the healthy way to look at it. We always talked things out in the end.
Harry gently laid me against the couch, pressing his lips to my neck as he unbuttoned my coat. I realized he hadn’t answered my question, but it was hard to focus on anything when he was kissing me like this. “Where?” I gasped, repeating my question, though I wasn’t too concerned about the answer.
My hands moved to his chest and I brushed his coat off of his shoulders, feeling his muscles through his thin shirt. I could feel him flexing through his shirt and wanted it off, I needed to see his tattoos I loved so much.
“Cheshire. Home.” He spoke between kisses, pulling my shirt over my head. I wasn’t sure why things were progressing so quickly, but I didn’t want to stop him. I wanted to see all of him, but I didn’t want to regret anything afterwards. As I sat before Harry shirtless, I opened my mouth to speak, praying I didn’t say anything dumb.
“I love you.”
Harry pulled away from me, his eyes wide, and he put his hand over his mouth in disbelief. I don’t know what came over me, all I had wanted to say was that I wanted to wait, that we were moving too fast, and instead, I told him I loved him.
That wasn’t even something I had fully dealt with myself. I knew I liked Harry, more than I had liked anyone in such a short period of time. But I also knew there were a few things about him that I could do without.
But did I love him? It seemed as though I did, subconsciously, though I was sure I screwed up everything by my confession. Harry still hadn’t said a word and his silence frightened me more than his rejection probably would have.
I didn’t give him a chance to say anything, quickly grabbing my shirt and rushed off to the bathroom. I hadn’t realized he was right behind me until his hand slammed into the bathroom door, stopping me from shutting it.
“No, I’m not letting you run from me, Scarlett, not this time,” he grunted, using his body to keep the door from shutting. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes and I just wanted to get this over with, I had made a fool out of myself and I didn’t need some speech about how he didn’t love me, but he might be able to in the future.
“Your silence said enough, Harry,” I mumbled, staring down at my feet. I blinked a few times and watched as a few tears fell from my eyes. I couldn’t look up, I didn’t want him to see that I was crying.
“I was only silent because I didn’t think I’d hear you say those words for a long time. You always play it safe, Scar. I didn’t want to tell you that I love you because I was so afraid of not hearing them back, but I do. I realized it some time ago. I mean, I really realized it when I was on holiday and I didn’t want to spend my birthday with anyone but you. I love you Scarlett. As crazy as all of this is, I don’t think it’s crazy to be in love with you.” Harry took a few steps towards me and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close.
I cried into his arms, not because I was upset, but because I was relieved. I had done something so incredibly reckless, opening my heart to someone without being entirely certain of what the outcome was going to be. He was right, I did always play it safe, because I was afraid to get my heart broken.
“I know we’re not together, and I know we can’t be together yet, but it doesn’t change that I love you,” he added, kissing the top of my forehead. I stood on my toes, kissing him softly and sighed. “I love you too,” I whispered.
I liked that Harry always emphasized the yet when it came to talking about our future, as though he saw one for us, even if it meant he had to wait a while. He lifted me up into his arms and I wrapped my legs around his waist, resting my head on his shoulder. I never felt in love like this in my other relationships. Maybe because it was new, or maybe it was just because it was with him, but I wanted to hold on to this feeling.
“Come on, love, let’s get you packed. I want to take you everywhere,” he said as he set me down on the bed and grabbed our suitcases from the closet. I was excited to see where Harry grew up, and even more excited that he wanted to share this with me. I couldn’t wait to get there.
Hi hi, love me. I was on vacation, then it was my birthday, and I'm back, but I go on vacation again this weekend. I hope you didn't miss me too much and I hope this update had enough Harlett to make you happy. <33