Tattooed Heart **ON HOLD**

*5 Days Later*

Rosie's POV
Light slipped through the crack of the door. For the most part, the darkness of the room engulfed me. I shivered under the plush covers.

Laughing traveled down the halls and into my room. My room. Not much of it. I don't have much of anything now a days.

I couldn't help but think of what El is going through. Torture, pain, happiness, joy? I have no idea. Uneasiness swept through my body. It hurts to know that El is out there probably sacred, crying, miserable and here I am. Moping around like a fucking baby cause she's gone.

Gone.... I can't bare to think about that. Unfortunately my mind keeps wondering back to it. What if she does die? Die. I cringe at the word. It's a horrible word. It's short, and straight to the point. Die meaning you never come back. You either rest in peace or go to hell. Is El really ready for that? She's young, kind, caring...she's not ready to leave. Either that or I'm not ready for her to leave...forever.

No tears come out. As much as I want too...I...can't. I swallow before sitting up, my back facing the door, and glanced out the window.

Everything seemed at peace. There were barely any cars driving up and down the streets, buildings and lampposts illuminated with bright light, the sidewalk wasn't crowded at all. Does this mean El's at peace? Is she in so much pain that she's numb?

It took all my strength to pull myself up and standing. After realization hit that she's...taken I feel weak. Like a chunk of me has been ripped out and torn to a million pieces.

All I can think about is her laugh, her smile, her voice, her jokes, her amazing cooking, her endless amount of makeup and clothes. My head was flooded with images of El and I...and it's making me worse.

I feel distraught, weak, foolish, torn, broken. Every horrible emotion I'd never thought I experience. Even when I was worse, I'd never felt this....horrible.

I sat back down and wiped the nonexistent tears I thought should be there away. Soon enough, I grabbed the pillow next to me and shoved my head in it..letting out an ear piercing scream before soaking it with my tears.

It feels like all the tears I held in suddenly came burst out, like an endless river. I threw the pillow across the room, and screamed again, and again, and again. I screamed till my throat hurt. I screamed till everyone was banging on my door wondering what was wrong.

I tried to stand up, but my legs thought otherwise, making me fall with a loud bang. I pushed myself against the bed, and tilted my up to face the ceiling. Tears glided down the sides of my face, my hair was sprawled out behind me, and on the bed.

The pounding on the door became louder, and my breathing became panting. My eyes widened and my entire body stopped any movement. I held my breath, my hands stop shaking, I pursed my lips. Everything stopped as I picked up the white piece of paper lying a couple feet away from me in a large envelope.

You have a week. It's either them or you love. Your choice :) ~C

At the bottom was newly printed pictures. I pulled them out one by one, and examined them. Shit.

I threw all of it...the note, the pictures, the envelope...everything across the room. My anger and fear and sadness overcame me. How could I do this? How could I let El and Dani and Perrie become that? Become bloody, and beaten and bruised? This is all my fault.

I feel helpless. I feel responsible for all of this. I can't take this.

This was all too much, so I screamed, once again. Why? It felt good to realease all of my emotions like that..even though El probably would've flipped out if she were here.

If she were here...she's not. I'm alone. All alone without El. She's my second half even though were like total opposites..but that's how we get along. We teach each other new things, new jokes, new styles. We always make each other laugh. I remember all the times we cried watching sad movies, screamed during horror movies,laughed during comedies. I remember all the times we did each other's hair and nails, helped for a interview or date. Totally pigged out and ate as much as we could while watching thousands of movies.

El's been gone for almost a week..and these last five days have been torturous for both of us.

I wiped my tears away harshly, feeling more warm liquids down my cheeks. I grabbed a mirror of the nightstand, and painfully turned the small lamp on, only scarce light in the room now.

I hesitantly looked at the mirror in my hands and winced at my bare legs layed out next to it. They were bruised and scratched from my constant thrashing around at night from my nightmares at night. I held up the mirror to my horrid face and gasped.

Blood dripped down from newly formed cuts right below my eyes. It all felt numb. Everything. It didn't surprise me that I can't feel any pain inflicted upon myself.

I looked up and saw the picture of El crying with blood dripping from her scalp and cuts on her cheeks, probably from a knife. She only wore a bra and underwear, and her stomach had small burnt spots from a cigarette and her mouth was open and her eyes were squeezed shut in pain as a cigertte was held to her neck. The lighting was dim, and there was a small steel table next to her with tools covered in blood.

This is all my fault..all mine. El's in pain because of me. My best friend, my roommate, my other half, my sister.

I screamed the loudest I possibly could as I dragged my long, sharp fingernails up and down my left arm. My arm began to burn, but soon became numb. Tears stung my cuts on my face as they slipped down, and made my new scratches on my arm burn and tingle.

I can't help but feel responsible for this..knowing all El is going through.

I feel horrible.

I feel like shit.

I feel worn out and tired.

I feel like the worst best friend ever.

I feel like the worst sister ever.

I feel like I'm the worst human in the world.

The door burst open, and Niall and Harry ran in with Zayn and Liam behind. I guess they didn't notice me...I guess I really am worthless.

"Shit. Lou!" Liam called. Louis burst through the door mumbling a string of curses under his breath.

"What!" He snapped. Everyone glared at his outburst and Liam handed him the picture. "What the fuck is this!" He yelled.

"What the hell does it fucking look like!" Zayn yelled back. He bent over and mumbled, "Fuck" as he handed Liam another.

Liam stood there, speechless. All the color drained from his face as he crumbled up the picture and shoved it into his pocket, running out into the living room yelling curses here and there.

"Zayn..." Niall trailed off handing him the last picture. He hesitantly flipped it over and widened his eyes.

"No, no ,no NO!" He said eventually yelling. "I'm going to kill that mother fucker!" He shouted.

I held my hand over my mouth to try and seclude my sobs. I looked down at the floor and tried to blink back my pool of hot tears pouring out.

"Rosie..." I looked up to see Harry kneeling down next to me, nothing but comfort in his green eyes. He opened his arms and wrapped them around me.

"I-I t-thought you were trying!" I said in between sobs. He shushed me and kissed the top of my head ever so gently.

"I am, I am.." He replied softly. I pulled out of his grip and looked into his eyes...deciding if I should tell him. Tell him my answer.

"T-They want me..." I whispered. He nodded and pursed his lips.

"I know" he admitted. I couldn't look at him with what I was going to say. It pained me too, but I have to.

"It's either me or them. T-They'll kill El! They'll kill all of them!" I said. He only nodded and sighed, looking down. I shut my eyes shut for a second before opening them again. I tilted his face up to look at me. "If it's me they want...it's me they'll get"

Notes

Hey guys!!


Soo...what's up? I don't really know what to say...umm...hi?! OMG did you see the Brits?! I died! They won best British video and I was soooo happy!! Umm...

Anyways...let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!!

Thanks! Bye!! :3