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Demented ➳ h.s [Editing Starting Soon]

The Darkness Holds The Best Secrets

CELIA’S POV
NEW YEARS DAY
JANUARY 1ST

A bottle tumbled across the kitchen floor and banged against the refridgerator. Charlotte’s head was on my stomach; she was sleeping. Her hair was messy from her coat hood and probably from combing her fingers through it a million times. Probably out of nervousness because that’s all she does. She stresses everything. She stresses being stressed. Thinking too hard made my brain pound harder. I could feel a possibility of last night’s alcohol in the back of my throat clawing its way back up but I ignored it with the best of my ability.

Getting Charlotte off of my stomach was a difficult task since she isn't exactly a heavy sleeper. I managed and threw her cup into the sink and the vodka bottle down the trash bin. It was incredible that she managed to drink more than I had since Charlotte barely drinks. She'll occasionally take a sip or two but not recently, as far as I know.

All I have been hearing going on is Charlotte's World is death and depression. I know for a fact that Charlotte is depressed, she knows it too. But I just can't find it within myself to ask her if she's okay, if everything's okay. Charlotte has never been the type of person to be open about her emotions since no one honestly care anyway other than Frankie, Nonna, Grandpa Frank, and I.

Sure, there was also Liz, but Charlotte always took more of a liking to Liz than anyone else had. She seemed to see some sparking star in the eyes of this secluded, dark teenager with below average boobs. Liz seemed okay once I'd met her but I learned quickly that she was a bitch that had nothing better to do than to be a bitch. Charlotte took a few years to realize that obviously. Honestly, I think she may find some good in her.

Liz only had one intention, to mess up everything she could; the homewrecker. Ever since we were teenagers, she seeked to get Charlotte in any trouble she could. Hell, they both nearly got arrested for drug possession in tenth grade. Luckily the cop was a family friend and knew that Charlotte wouldn’t do drugs, and so he arrested Liz. I was forced by Charlotte to bail her out since her parents didn’t give a shit and Charlotte needed the money for some lame field trip.

If anything, I’d explain Liz as milk. She seemed cool and nice when you first meet her, then she turns into a cold, lumpy, and spoiled jug. All she is is an expiration date and her date is nearing. It won’t be long before another drug overdose comes along and she just won’t make it. Honestly, I think that’d be the best thing for her. Death.

CHARLOTTE’S POV

Mouth tasting of vodka and morning breath, I swallowed to get some source of lubricant down my dry throat. I noticed Celia wasn’t on the floor and the kitchen was cleaned as if last night was just a dream. But I knew it wasn’t since my mouth tasted horrid and my head hurt badly. In a way, last night was the best of my life. And in a way, it was still the worst.

I remembered my journal left on the table and the events leading up to the midnight kiss with Harry. Sometimes I try not to write about certain people in case someone does find my forbidden journal because I don’t want anyone to know whether or not that person has made me laugh or cry. Happy or sad, feeling depressed or in complete and utter bliss. A sigh came from inside and it caused my stomach to turn upside down. Not going to help when I go to work today.

Getting up, I went to my room to peel off last nights clothing and laid in bed using the extra time I honestly didn’t have. It felt nice to feel my own sheets again. This time, they were clean and soft. Not filled with hairs of suspicious mammals etcetera, but actually comfortable. They were washable every week or so and not every month to save money for the bills because with Celia’s large paycheck plus my average one, we’d be better than good. We’re great.

I miss living with Liz. Late nights watching cartoons that were popular when we were kids, and just adoring life as two broke girls; as best friends. Of course, I now realize that the girl that would eat ice cream and junk food with me at midnight and watch scary movies was probably just getting over a high or getting the munchies. It’s sad; the fact that the person you’ve known forever is not really the person you’ve known forever.

It’s like she was hidden this whole time. The only Liz I’ve ever known is Drugged Liz, High Liz, Hungry Liz. Occasionally Reading Liz. Never just Elizabeth. Yes, I’ve wanted to get to know Elizabeth, but I’ve been getting to know Liz, her other half. The half that should have been hidden in the shadows. I thought about a lot of things while spread my body out to fit the whole mattress, I felt like an angel. “You having fun there?” Celia’s voice was drenched in tiredness and sickness but somehow still maintained the same amount of sarcasm.

“Maybe just a little,” my voice was muffled once I’d landed my face in the pillow. Celia walked beside my bed and went over to the dresser where she squirted some perfume. It made me nauseous and I can tell it didn’t do her a favor either.

She playfully slapped my back before speaking again, “Get up, you have work in,” she checked the black, decorative clock on the wall, “ten minutes. And the drive is half an hour so call Ms. Hannigan and tell her you’ll be late. That’s an order.” She disappeared for a little bit before coming back. My face was still in the pillow with occasional breaths of fresh air and I could hear her pulling on her coat, “Alright, I’m gone. Get ready. Now.”

Her demand caused a groan to come from me and I went over to the bathroom to brush my teeth but not before calling Ms. Hannigan and taking a tardy. It felt like school all over again. While brushing my teeth, I thought more about Liz. She had so much ambition before drugs came along. Or at least before they got too serious. Honestly, Liz had more ambition as a juvenile than an adult. She’s supposed to be back to work in a few weeks. Apparently she made a mistake so it’s being overlooked by Ms. Hannigan as if it never happened.

Maybe that’s what’s best for her. For it to be overlooked as if it never happened. I think Ms. Hannigan pities her. It’s almost like she knows that she has some shitty living conditions and sex sounds echoing throughout the neighborhood causing lack of sleep and clumped on makeup. Ms. Hannigan knows more than she should, I believe. After brushing my teeth, I pulled on a pair of blue jeans rather than leggings or a skirt because A) it’s hard to run from Harry in leggings or a skirt and B) because it’s hard to run from Harry in leggings or a skirt. Those are pretty good reasons.

The drive was dangerous yet again but different since I was no longer thinking about Harry.
My leg was hazardly bouncing up and down… due to Harry. So, I guess I was thinking of the curly devil. Because that’s exactly what he was. The devil; with evil green eyes and locks of pure fire. He was born and raised in Hell to torment me until I would eventually lose it. Lose it as in my mind. I’ll eventually lose my mind if I’m already nearly killing myself and tens of other people on the road with the continuation of whatever it is Harry and I feel for each other.

I arrived at the circle at the front of the building and parked. Pulling my card from the inside of my shirt, I swiped it to let myself in. I was heavily late and lunch was already over. So I put my coat behind the desk and grabbed everything I’d need for session with Harry. He sat there playing with the stress ball I had placed on the desk. From playing with it with his hands, he went to throwing it at the wall. “You’re late again, Charlotte.” I don’t think it was the first time he’d called me by my first name but it seemed weird.

“I know, I woke up late.” I took my seat in the usual black chair.

“Well, aren’t you going to ask how my New Years Eve went?” His question confused the hell out of me since I knew what his New Years Eve was like. But, I played along and grabbed my notepad.

With a sigh, I responded, “Okay, how was your New Years Eve, Harry?” He sat forward and caught the ball after throwing it at the wall again, putting it down.

“It was terrible. The food was and is still shit and damn near all the employees are irritating,” he spoke as if it wouldn’t hurt my feelings. I guess last night didn’t matter. He almost let me believe his words, “But then, I saw this therapist and this employee talking and I thought it was… interesting. So I talked to her after scaring him away and midnight wasn’t the worst I’ve had.” His comment was his own way of saying last night was nice.

“I guess midnight wasn’t the worst for me either,” I smiled and wrote down some things. He picked the ball back up and started throwing it in the air, catching it repeatedly. And session wasn’t at all awkward. Harry strangely didn’t bring up last night again and left the conversation to ride and fall along with the ball he was throwing in the air. He was frustrated. “Are you okay, Harry?”

“Yes, why do you say that?” He looked at me, letting the ball drop behind him.

“You seem distracted. Anxious-like, are you nervous about som-”

“No,” he cut me off, “nothing. Have you seen Louis lately?”

His question was pretty vague in the sense that I didn’t exactly know what lately meant but I answered anyway, “No. Is everything okay?” I asked again.

“Everything is fine,” he went to get up after looking at the time but I ran to the door. Harry grabbed the handle and went to turn it but I put my back against the door.

“Sit.” I demanded and he took his seat. “Now why are you so jumpy?”

He sighed and combed his hair with his long fingers. The nails were short and a pinkie had a stain of blood from what I could see, “I told you before, just be careful around him. H-He’s something else. I don’t know how to explain it to you but he’s not as good as he seems.” My heart raced with his explanation.

“What happened with you two?” Harry didn’t answer my question but instead made it out the door, only because I didn’t make an attempt to stop him. I wrote more things down and sighed heavily. He’s hiding something from me, and I hate that for some reason. It’s not the normal therapist hate when your patient is hiding something. No, it’s the personal hate that you feel that someone close is keeping a large secret from you.

What kept me from following him to his cell was the importance. Harry obviously cares for me in a sense that he doesn’t want me to get hurt, but that hurt must be emotionally otherwise he’d tell me what happened, right? Right. I continued noting things about Harry.


HARRY’S POV

My eyelids were drooping in frustration. I wanted to tell Charlotte what happened with Louis and I, I really did. But that’s not who I am. I don’t share things. Sure, I shared my life story to her but nothing more, and only out of pity. Once I laid on my bed, I thought about that. About how I couldn’t tell Charlotte that Louis and I had something deeper than she thought. Maybe the reason why I can’t tell her is the darkness; cloudiness.

I like the darkness too much. It’s sickening how much I find disturbing joy in such a dark place. I love the shadows, it’s where I hide my deepest and darkest thoughts and secrets. Ones that no one knows of. It’s upsetting that the only thing I had left was to move to the darkness. It’s a sick joy I have in other’s misfortune. I feed on it; I need it. Watching people constantly go crazier and crazier every day gives me joy because it’s funny how I won’t completely go crazy for another few years.

Hell, with my disgusting love, it might be a lot sooner. The darkness is your best friend; is my best friend, too. You can say anything to it and it’ll never get out unless you let it. You can live there and never be found. No one will notice you’re missing. No one will care. That’s one of the pros of being here, no one cares about me anymore. That’s how I knew they never did. Once they heard there was a possibility of me being a rapist or murderer, that was it. Everyone left my side. Everyone took teams. No one other than the people I lived with and were friends with supported me.

It sucked that summer morning. It was around 91° outside and Robin was barbecuing. Everyone was over, all the neighbors, everyone. I didn’t invite Louis or Raven, but Niall and Zayn made it. It was nice. The weather was beautiful and the pool cover was off, smelled of cooked meats and chlorine. I remember it like it was yesterday. Around five police cars pulled up in the circle at our house. Everyone heard the sirens and saw the red and blue flashing lights.

Liam was in his attire and had handcuffs in his hands, “Oh, I see. Calm down, everyone! It’s just a joke, good ole’ Liam is here.” I remember saying, but I saw Liam’s face didn’t change. He was serious. No one breathed and many cops were behind him. “You are kidding, right?”

“I’m sorry, Harry. I really am, but turn around.”

“Liam, what’s going on?” He made sure not to put the cuffs on too tight.

“Harry Styles, you are under arrest for the rape and murder of,” and he named off the girls, five of them. “You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be used against you in the court of law. You have the right to an attorney during int-” he continued to read my rights out to me. I still couldn’t believe that my best friend was arresting me. I was honestly waiting for everyone to start laughing at how stupid and afraid I looked, I’d like that better. It didn’t happen. And that scared the shit out of me.

Getting arrested was possibly the scariest thing that’s happened to me. That secret goes into the darkness along with the one that I held onto Zayn’s hand when I got my first tattoo. It didn’t even hurt. Either way, getting arrested was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. Next to my relationship with Raven that was short-lived and ruined. That’s another secret for the darkness.

Notes

I've been writing more for you guys these past few chapters and I'm going to do this from now on as much as I can. Trying to compete with @XOXOH since her chapters are long and beautiful.

I kinda hinted at what Louis and Harry had going on and if you caught that, congrats. First time in Celia's POV and second in Harry's, yay. Thanks so much for 50 of you once again (now 51) and I love all your cute faces, byeeee x

Comments

@Hopeless Directioner
Actually, the whole summary is different. I made up a quote that may or may not go into the story and just the basic summary isn't even a summary, it's suspenseful. Again, I hope you like the new version as much as you liked the old.

svmmertime svmmertime
5/18/14

@Hopeless Directioner
Some will be minute but most will be obvious. Some conversations are edited so that Harry is more closed up. All in all, the story will be longer. There is a new introduction and just a bunch of things I wasn't comfortable with. A lot of editing was needed and the cover was terrible. And so, the edited first chapter is up along with a new introduction. I really hope you like it, darling x

svmmertime svmmertime
5/18/14

@wonderful .
I'm excited to see how it'll be revised! Will the changes be minute or obvious?

@Hopeless Directioner

I will be editing and taking out and adding in parts. Honestly, Demented went waaay too fast in my opinion, and with the plagiarism and all, I found that I really want to rewrite it anyway. I will obviously be keeping this version up but I have already started the new version and the whole first chapter is different. I just think the story could have stretched at least to 35 chapters or more. Again, this WILL stay up, but the new version will be posted separately. Mind you, it will take at least a few months for me to do it since I have other stories, but I'm sick from school today so I'm going to continue. I was hoping everyone would like that it's being revised and bettered a bit, do you?

svmmertime svmmertime
5/16/14