Login with:

Facebook

Twitter

Tumblr

Google

Yahoo

Aol.

Mibba

Your info will not be visible on the site. After logging in for the first time you'll be able to choose your display name.

Demented ➳ h.s [Editing Starting Soon]

Cold Nights & Christmas Lights

CHARLOTTE'S POV
CHRISTMAS DAY

Writing seemed to become my past time when my mind raced with things and people too poisonous to think about. The pen traced previous lines on the paper when I found nothing else to write about. Such people included the most important, like Nonna or Frankie or Celia or Grandpa. The ones being poisonous being Liz or Harry or even Louis.

Harry never crossed my mind. No, he lived in it. His voice, smell, and being lived inside my brain that I obviously can't get rid of. I'd called Louis and said a Christmas lunch wouldn't be so bad. Although I called, I wasn't making an effort to get ready. So, when I heard the doorbell, I closed my writing journal and put it under the curtain of the window sill I was sitting in.

Louis looked up from the ground once I opened the door. His jeans were darker this time and his hair was hidden with a hat that had snow lightly draped over it. A beard was more visible but it added to his rocker look. I have to admit, he looked sexy. "Morning, Charlotte."

"Morning, Louis. Sorry I just couldn't get out of bed. I'll be ready in a little bit," I lied.

A light chuckle came from outside, "No you won't be," he responded. "I deal with drunk and sober people on a daily basis, I know if you're lying or not. If you have that whole, 'stranger danger' thing going on, we can go to a public place. Otherwise, we can stay here, if you'd like." His suggestion wasn't all that bad and I found myself agreeing.


"He was a dick," Louis responded. His mouth had a cookie dangling from it before he grabbed it and took a bite. I'd told him about my quest with my ex-boyfriend. How everyone knew he'd be a bad person who'd leave me for someone else, but I didn't listen and got screwed over.

"Or," I took a bite of my cookie, "maybe the fact that I chased a boy who would kill my insides says a lot more about me than it did about him." He stopped chewing.

His hands rubbed against each other before he sat up and rested his chin on my knees, "Not your fault. It's in there," he pointed to my chest. Conversation over. At least that's what it seems and I'm glad my phone rang, just not glad about who was calling. It was Navarro.

"Hello?" I answered. Someone in place of Liz spoke quietly, she hopefully won't be working beside me now. "No, I didn't know." I did. "Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can."

Louis questioned me, "What is it?"

"Navarro. Something's happened with one of the therapists in session while with another patient so now he can't go see Harry and I have to fill in." Louis nodded and asked if he could tag along, I told him to grab his coat.
The drive to Navarro was nerve-wracking. I could imagine Harry sitting there impatiently, looking at the family picture. When I slid my key card, I had Louis carry my bag and follow me to my room. There he was. Orange jumpsuit and all sitting with his back towards us, "Good afternoon, Harry." His back didn't move and he didn't turn around.

Instead, he took a deep breath before responding, "Afternoon, Lou." How he could tell Louis was in the room, I'll never know.

"Hey, Harry." Harry didn't respond and Louis scratched the back of his neck.

Alright, here goes nothing. "Louis, you can wait in the lobby. Technically, you're not allowed to sit in sessions without permission." He nodded and exited the room. "You okay?"

"No. Stay away from him," he growled while I sat down. His mood caught me off guard especially since Louis is far from someone you'd want to stay away from. "He's nothing but trouble." Harry sounded like Nonna.

"Harry, he's harmless," I pushed. He looked into my eyes and his pupils expanded by a lot. They showed compassion and carefulness. He cared but he didn't respond. After clearing my throat that had become dry with affection, I spoke, "Merry Christmas."

He only nodded. We continued with our regular questions and series of awkward, sexual moments. The silence was unbearable and I'm glad he was the first to break it, "I'm serious, Charlotte. And I know your personal life is none of my business but... just be careful." His voice was smothered in sorrow and sadness. Maybe because Louis could see me when he wanted and Harry was limited to a few hours. Once again, session was over. Neither of us even moved.

"I will."
When we got back to my house, Louis gave me a kiss on the cheek and got into his rental car. That's when I realized I wasn't ready for a beautiful distraction. Not a complication or aberration or whatever you would like to call it. I'm not emotionally ready. Especially not for the person I think about the most to hate that beautiful complication.

It's quite enchanting that just a few words could drag you back into a forgotten memory. That's when you also realize that memories can't be forgotten. They are stored in a place that you forget about. But the memories themselves aren't forgotten. It's amazing how words aren't like knives even though they hurt like the object. Knifes will pull out and the wound will heal. Words are embedded into the wound and will forever be there. No matter what.

But, words can also save people. Grandpa's words saved me. So did Frankie's and Celia's. Liz's had before but no longer did. Maybe that's why I stayed friends with Liz. I knew all along that she had a hidden problem but I never imagined it getting out of control. I thought I could save her. I thought I could save the unstable and ruined. That ruined needs to find themselves before someone else does. Maybe I never knew Liz.

Sure, I grew up with her but I know Celia better than I know Liz. Her addiction started young but no one noticed. No one could noticed, it was small and common in our school. Celia and I made her stop but she obviously just stopped doing it around us. Many things shouldn't be mixed. Many, many things. Like Vodka and Hennessy, for example.

But Liz was mixing Vodka, Hennessy, and various drugs. Cocaine, weed, anything you could think of has probably been in her system by now, sadly. That's all I could think about while sitting on the edge of the window sill, nearly falling. Because that's how I felt. I felt like I was on the edge of the cliff and ready to let go. Tears spilled over and into my mug of hot chocolate.

Christmas wasn't pleasant. Far from it. I'd spent a few hours with a person I liked but the rest was terrible. The next few hours could only be thought of as a terrible nightmare. The local hospital's number flashed on my phone. That moment was when I saw that I'd become nothing but broken in a matter of less than a month.

Notes

So the next chapter is obviously going to be very sad. But why does Harry not want Charlotte to be around Louis? Is it jealousy or something else? Comment what you think. I'm sick, as I've said in the comments so I might double update today. Be prepared with tissues for the next chapter, it might get happy towards the end but I doubt it. Almost 40 subs.. I did notice that one person unsubscribed. Hurt my feelings a bit. Ha, at least the rest of you are still here. XOXOH, you can be my valentine... I'm lonely :L

Comments

@Hopeless Directioner
Actually, the whole summary is different. I made up a quote that may or may not go into the story and just the basic summary isn't even a summary, it's suspenseful. Again, I hope you like the new version as much as you liked the old.

svmmertime svmmertime
5/18/14

@Hopeless Directioner
Some will be minute but most will be obvious. Some conversations are edited so that Harry is more closed up. All in all, the story will be longer. There is a new introduction and just a bunch of things I wasn't comfortable with. A lot of editing was needed and the cover was terrible. And so, the edited first chapter is up along with a new introduction. I really hope you like it, darling x

svmmertime svmmertime
5/18/14

@wonderful .
I'm excited to see how it'll be revised! Will the changes be minute or obvious?

@Hopeless Directioner

I will be editing and taking out and adding in parts. Honestly, Demented went waaay too fast in my opinion, and with the plagiarism and all, I found that I really want to rewrite it anyway. I will obviously be keeping this version up but I have already started the new version and the whole first chapter is different. I just think the story could have stretched at least to 35 chapters or more. Again, this WILL stay up, but the new version will be posted separately. Mind you, it will take at least a few months for me to do it since I have other stories, but I'm sick from school today so I'm going to continue. I was hoping everyone would like that it's being revised and bettered a bit, do you?

svmmertime svmmertime
5/16/14