Maddie’s POV

I felt terrible for doing this to another person in my life, but it was all just too much for me at the moment. I hastily stepped away from Niall and sat on the couch, drawing my knees up to my chest and burying my face in my folded arms. My body shook slightly as I tried to slow my breathing. I hated myself; I was an awful person, but I had to do it. I couldn’t allow myself to become close to anyone, and Niall and I were moving much too fast.

I peeked up through my arms and saw him standing there, frozen, a confused expression on his face. He shook his head, snapping himself out of it and knelt down in front of me. His hands hovered, uncertain where to place them. I shied away as they patted my shoulder.

“Maddie, what is it? Did I do something wrong?” he whispered. “Please…talk to me.”

I kept silent, not knowing what to say and afraid to say anything. I could sense his frustration and I cursed myself for being such a horrible person. But I couldn’t bring myself to speak.

I had issues with that; talking to people seriously. I was terrified of commitment; even know I wanted nothing more in the world to be loved. I didn’t see myself worthy of anyone, especially Niall. Why would he want me? I stood up quickly and he moved back, giving me some space. I grabbed my bag and hurried toward the door. He made a noise of protest and followed me.

I reached the handle and turned it, escape only feet away. He caught my arm and yanked me around. I cried out softly, but he ignored me.

“Please don’t leave! At least tell me what I did wrong, please this isn’t fair!” he said urgently. I laughed inwardly; he thought this was his fault, as if I hadn’t done anything.

I met his gaze and mumbled, “I-I’m so sorry, but I can’t do this…I’m sorry,” I said again and left, leaving him frozen, pain evident on his features when I disobeyed myself and looked back at him. A strangled sob burst from me and I rushed back to my hotel, hating who I was and what I’d done.

I hated how I couldn’t let myself grow close to anyone; I tore relationships apart, but it was better this way. At least we hadn’t known each other long; the wounds wouldn’t be as deep.

I finally entered my hotel room and collapsed on the bed. No tears could come, but I shook involuntarily. I didn’t know what to do with myself or where to go; I couldn’t go home. I never felt complete there and I could not allow myself to continue to ruin things with the people I loved. After hours of nothing, sleep overcame me.


Niall’s POV

I stood at the door as I watched her flee. And I wondered why it hurt so much to see her go.